Storytime with Moon: People’s Choice Awards 2011

R: OMG we're at a People's Choice Awards... K: just smile.... T: HAHAHAOMGHA

Dear LTT-ers,

Wednesday night I hoofed it all the way from West Hollywood to Downtown LA to attend the People’s Choice Awards with @bitemebaker and the lovely gals from Twilightish. Sadly, the drivers of LA did NOT know where I was headed and decided to hold up traffic like it was Sunday driving time with their grandma’s. Didn’t they know I had to see whether the trinity would  take pity on us poor poor sad bored fans and give us a little tiny clip of something from Breaking Dawn, ANYTHING? Well spoiler alert: They didn’t! And didn’t the drivers of LA know I needed to get to the Nokia Theater to see whether Kid Rock would wear leather or fur? Spoiler Alert: he wore BOTH (swoon/vom.). No, they didn’t but maybe the driver’s of LA knew I didn’t need to see Selena Gomez “perform” whatever her song is and didn’t need to see Johnny Depp not show up to accept an award that Rob didn’t win. So as it turns out the drivers of LA know me pretty well and getting to the awards almost an hour late was perfect because I sat down right as AnnaLynn McCord was coming out to present! Oh memories…. I was hoping she’d get an award for People’s Choice for best deep throating of a fruit or vegetable but sadly she lost. I mean she presented something else.

Never thought I'd say Ashley Tisdale was the luckiest girl on the stroll last night

So it must be known that the trinity wasn’t ushered in till right before Kristen’s award where they shuffled in whoever was going to win next to sit in the front row with the only semi celeb they could get to show up and stay in the audience: Ashley Tisdale. So either the Summit private jet was late in arriving or Rob, Kristen and Taylor had WAY more fun getting plastered (on virgin cocktails of course) at the open bar backstage with Jenny Anisten. Easy choice.

How did we spot them you ask? Well I noticed good ol Dean standing down in the front row and I was like wow that big dude looks like Dean and maybe that guy sitting down kinda has Taylor’s complexion… and wow, is that Kristen’s hair and ok that must be Rob in that weird tan colored jacket. Wait, doesn’t he know it’s January, aren’t there some kind of fashion rule about that? Then I stopped talking to myself and we all stood up to get a better look and twwwwweeeet.

Move bitch, get out the way!

They sat down on the front row and any time a commercial break happened Dean would stand up and then like 10 dudes would rush in from stage right and surround them. It became clear why this was necessary when some girl made an ill prepared attempt at trying to meet the trinity and instead got one-hand-Heismen-trophy-posed out of the way by Dean. It was amazing. And then sad because the trinity has to be protected like the latest shipment of Air Jordans to your local Foot Locker. Then I remembered they make a billion gajillion dollars and a felt less sad for them.

This is what it looked like when I took a covert cell phone shot. MOooohahahaha
(Please love the care and precision with which this image was made)

So then finally Kristen won the award for best actress or whatever and Taylor became my favorite by helping Kristen up the stairs by taking her hand. Start some conspiracies yall, just cause I love them so much! It’s a PR ploy you guys! It’s really Taysten! Krislor lives! Ok, whatever Kristen goes up there and thanks everyone blah blah blah.

Another commercial break and Queen Latifah breaks through Dean and the defensive line down front to say hi to the Trinity.

and then we were witness to one of the more embarrassing moments of the twidom.

I know it’s all in good fun and it’s Queen Latifah trying to be cute and MAN are those guys good sports (give the trinity snaps) but seriously? Cause I was 2nd hand embarrassed and I was like hundreds feet away from them and I was shrinking in my seat. It was embarrassing as a Twifan. ugh. We are not all lunatics (says the twiblogger).

Is this really happening to us??

Mercifully some producer saves us all and wrestles the mic away from Queen Latifah so someone could give out an award. At this point the trinity was not being ushered out so I knew we had to be at the end of the show and it was pretty clear Twilight “won” for best movie. I mean it’s the People’s Choice awards they give the award to whoever shows up.

Ashton Kutcher took a night off filming Canon Camera commercials to come give away an award with Princess Amidala and SHOCKER Twilight WON!!!! ZOMG!!! I had no idea it would!!!!!

The trinity ascended to the stage and thankfully Rob recognized his and Kristen’s lack of public speaking prowess and pushed Taylor up to accept the award. Taylor recited his lines correctly but BONUS he made an awkward refrence to Katy Perry’s joke/euphamism about the awards being heavy like her boobs. UMMMM awkward turtle!!! Either Taylor got the joke or he made it even funnier by NOT getting the boob reference. Either way WIN. Then I crossed my fingers Taylor would surprise us with a teeeny tiny clip, a flash, a picture ANYTHING from Breaking Dawn but alas. NOTHING. Help us out Summit!! The natives are getting restless! I’m scared!

I'd like to thank John Stamos without whom this outfit would NOT be possible!

Next, Kristen said some stuff and her dress strap fell while talking and Taylor, being the gentleman he is, rushed to push it up. CONSPIRACY!!! PLOYS!!!! (anyone, anyone?!). Then Rob said some stuff and thanked John Stamos for letting him raid the “Jesse Catsopulous Closet” while he was at the party last summer.  Then they all got on a private jet parked on the roof of the Nokia and flew back to the town with no cameras, paparazzi or internet access, better known as Baton Rouge.

The end.

Congrats to Twilight for winning some People’s Choice Awards! Now give me a set picture and no one get’s hurt.
Themoonisdown

Did you watch? Were you in ANYWAY surprised they won? Were you making hoping JUST A LITTLE that there would be something special? Did you feel box blocked? Also share your conspiracy theories!

Thanks Eclipsemovie.org, Robsessed, whoever tagged some of these photos, Twilightish

Oh- we ruled at blogging today and BOTH posted on LTT- so don’t miss the other letter for today!

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142 Commented


Kristen Stewart’s “Brother” speaks out about the Krisbians

*please read the entire post and the note at the end before you wild out in the comments*

Dear Kristen,

I just watched this video where you discuss the term “Krisbian”

Really, Kristen? Your “brother” doesn’t like the term? In fact it “pisses him off” you say… why is that do you think? Why would your “brother” hate that girls would go gay for you or at least have a torrid make out session at The Truck Stop in West Hollywood with you for one night? What else pisses your “brother” off so much?

How about when he turns the tv on and it’s always on the Logo channel? That you just bought stock in the Croc’s shoe company? Your roadtrips with Taylor Scout Compton? That your favorite show is “Thintervention with Jackie Warner?” That your idea of a romantic date is going to Home Depot for a new tool belt and a hot dog from the vendor in the parking lot? That your favorite actresses are Cynthia Nixon (and Rojo Caliente!), Meredith Baxter Berney and that girl from Top Gun?

Man your “brother” is judgmental! Can’t he just accept you and your fans and who you choose to love?  Does your “brother” get to choose who you love? And really, doesn’t your “brother” have stuff he should be doing? Like going out with his bromantical friends? Buying more smokes from the bodega across from the the hotel? Isn’t there an In-n-Out run he should be making? And I’m pretty sure there’s a ton  of push ups your “brother” needs to be doing right now for something important that’s coming up. Right? Your “brother” should probably be in the middle of his 5th rep of 100 crunches right now instead of trolling the internets for Krisbians to cyber bully. Jerk.

Really, if it weren’t for your “brother” you’d probably call yourself a Krisbian, right? You’d start a convention for all the Krisbians to meet up and wear Krisbian shirts. You’d tie a knot in yours, of course. And then lead a break out session on proper knot tying so that all the Krisbians were doing it the correct “Kristen Approved” way.

Ok, ok maybe you wouldn’t do any of that because well we heard months ago that you and I guess your “brother” now didn’t really care for the term Krisbian. And we agonized for months over who would have to write the letter letting everyone down gently. But with this video I guess we’re off the hook now and we can meet up and have girl talk over Margs!!! Virgin for you, of course. But it’s funny, Kristen, I really feel like we’re on the same page now. Like we have something in common after all this time. Wow, this might be a new chapter in our relationship.

But now that your “brother” has to come in and rained all over everyone’s parade and said the term pisses him off, what can we do about it Kristen? What about the Krisbians? Are they at home crying into their Krisbian for life pillows? Marked out with sharpie now, natch. You just can’t change how you feel, we know that! It’s like they’re the Kurt Hummel in this Glee world and we feel for them.

We love YOU just the way you are

Maybe we should start a support group for the Krisbians to vent their feelings and provide a safe place for them to discuss what they’ll do to your “brother.” I mean… umm…. how they’ll ‘take care of’ your “brother” welllll…. ok. Maybe we should hire bodyguards for your “brother” instead.

Loving everyone just the way they are,
Themoonisdown

A special note to Krisbians: we love and accept you just the way you are! No matter who you choose to love. We’re not like Kristen’s “brother,” you’re safe here! And to show our support we’ve even thinking of turning our avatar purple on twitter… if we could figure out how to do that.

*No we don’t think Kristen’s “brother” is really her BROTHER, nor do we think any of them are cyber bullies or gay bashers, nor do we hate Kristen. There! Saved you from your dumb comments, people who can’t have a good time on the internet.*

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321 Commented


Kellan’s Love is Louder

Dear Kellan,

Moon & I heard your message to us through your Love is Louder video:

(Out of the US & can’t see the vid? Go here and read the transcript)

Here are our thoughts:

UC: THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE. WE WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD because KELLAN LUTZ made a video JUST FOR US. There is NO other explanation
Moon: seriously
UC: No explanation except that he is SEEKING approval. OUR APPROVAL and LTT’s approval
Moon: He wants us to break this down….. for LTT……
UC: and his JOY for Jesus- Sharing it with the world. The ONLY thing that would have made that better, was if his shirt was off
Moon: UC, Jesus is love and love is louder
UC: I feel happier than the day we interviewed Stephenie. This is like if Big Daddy wore a Tshirt with a picture of a breadstick on it
Moon: HAHAHAA
UC: this is like if….. Michael Welsh did a weight watchers campaign
Moon: HAHAHA
UC: or just wore a shirt that said “I REALLY DO like Boobs” or “Save the tatas”
Moon: Like if Taylor told the press he was starting an alpaca rescue farm
UC: Or if it’s really TomStu & Kristen who are dating
Moon: Or if Rob is being sponsored as the new brawny man
UC: hahaha
Moon: or he buys a home on the east side & stops going out in Weho
UC: yes! Like if Rob is seen at Chango- that hipster coffee shop in your neighborhood where everyone smokes pot.
Moon: It’s like they might be finally listening to us! Or just confirming the stuff we’ve thought all along
UC: I mean…. Moon…our VERY FIRST POST was about Kellan and his love for the big man upstairs
Moon: it was
UC: And we always knew it
Moon: That thought came to me while I was peeing
UC: I mean.. who else reads the Purpose driven life besides lovers of the Big man [Not Big Daddy- the other one] It wasn’t too hard to deduce.
Moon: You’re preaching to the choir sister
UC: and here it is.. confirmed …. for all to see
Moon: I may have to take Kellan to Kenya with me next summer
UC: I think this is Kellan’s cry for you to hear:
He wants to go
He wanted to go
He was hurt
Jesus healed him
but the pain is still there
Moon: It is. KELLAN since you’re reading this and we know you are. I will pick you up this Sunday and take you with me to church!
UC: THEY ARE SHOWING YOUR KENYA VIDEO!!! It’s perfect
Moon: It is!
UC: Jesus is love. Kenya is love. Moon is love
Moon: And Kellan is loving it all

Don’t be tempted

UC: It’s also possible he wants us to ignore the rumor that AnnaLynne moved in which I want to ignore- but kinda also want to talk about because I wonder how Jesus feels about his living in sin
Moon: WHAT?!
UC: Do you think they’re “just friends”
Moon: When did this happen?
UC: On a day he was “Straying” of course. No- some legit gossip rag mentioned it. And by legit I mean, not at all, but let’s ignore that fact.
Moon: AnnaLynne is trying to make us pay for all the times we’ve mentioned her
UC: I bet they have separate rooms, and he is SO close to Jesus that he just likes to really test his temptations. It’s easy to say WWJD when your girlfriend lives 10 miles away, but it’s MUCH harder when she’s in the room next door. He’s testing his faith. He’s showing us his strength as a follower
Moon: Maybe they both turned celibate and have created their own nunnery/priesthood in the valley?
UC: I bet they did- I think Jackson will be moving in soon too- there’s those rumors (that I think we started? Based on some hard-core googling stalking of his past??) that he grew up as a missionary kid
Moon: I just want to give Kellan a hug and then see what he REALLY believes. Also- I read a comment on his video that said “Nice Hair Plugs”
UC: Oh NO!
Moon: true or false? Sometimes his hair looks especially lustrous and other times it looks a little thin…
UC: you’re right. it looks VERY lustrous there
Moon: could this explain the comb forward caesar cut on Emmett?? He really has a receding hair line??
UC: it totally looks like he’s pulling a donald trump
that looks like a rug. WWJD? Not wear a rug.

Moon: I wonder what AnnaLynn thinks of all this
UC: yeah… she doesn’t seem like the type…. I’ve seen what she can do to a banana. Jesus doesn’t approve.
Moon: I mean she’s been traipsing around the world with him on this good will trips
UC: Has she been following Kellan around!? I’m behind on the AnnaLynne gossip, clearly.
Moon: yea she’s gone on a couple things with him- Haiti or whatever.. New Orleans
UC: dang- they are the new couple in Christendom. Like Bill & Gloria Gaither or Amy Grant & Vince Gill… or
Moon: Joshua Harris and his lady friend
UC: I know one thing WWJD: Not AnnaLynne is pretty dang clear.
Moon: The day Kellan dumps her and tells MTV they were “unequally yoked” we’ll know he really reads LTT

Love,
UC & Moon

While Kellan’s namedropping Jesus both shocks & pleases us, we did want to point out that “Love is Louder” is a great idea & we encourage you to check it out. Plus Vinny from The Jersey Shore does a video, and he’s our favorite.

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Well when you put it that way…

Dear Twilight,

We love you. A lot. Like A-LOT A-LOT. You know this and we’ve accepted your idiosyncrasies and your quirks and like any good, mature relationship, they only make us love you more. Especially when the movie versions add in totally dumb ones. (shhhh those are our favorites!) But as you know people like to make fun of you and even though we try sometimes it’s hard to explain why you’re so great when people like to focus on the absurd. But they do make great videos. Like this…


“Jacob” kinda has that alpaca look about him, no?

David Slade blew the roof off Eclipse and made even some of the crazy stuff seem totally plausible so what about Breaking Dawn? We KNOW Bill Condon’s got his work cut out for him. Renesmee, births, cottages by the creek, yada yada yada I wonder if he got the cliff’s notes version like this…


Weeeellll when you put it like that…

Plasma TV and AWESOME DVD collection. Maybe these folks should write the script? They know the important stuff.

Oh Twilight, we still love you! Even besides your incessant talk of glowering and Bella’s pregnant foods being eggs and cups of blood instead of ice cream and pickles. We wouldn’t trade you for anything, for realz.

Happy Labor Day!
Themoonisdown

Happy Labor Day to all the folks in the states. Yes, another holiday where we grill stuff and hang out in pools and what not trying to hold on to the last bit of summer. So enjoy your day off and we’ll see you back here this week!

Special Thanks to Mandy and Bea for sending us the videos!Have an idea and want to write a letter while we’re grilling today? Saw a video, a picture, or a news story we need to see? Send it in! DO IT!

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32 Commented


Where are they now? All our old favorites edition!

Dear LTT-ers,

Anytime I hear Lady Gaga’s song “Pokerface” I inevitably think of AmanDUH and I get sad. She was a legend in her own time and then deleted her YouTube account before we barely knew her. Well we KNEW her kitchen and her hallway with the bed sheet strung up and we DEFINITELY knew her “special” husband she made dress us as Edward in their backyard but we didn’t get to see her mature into her artistry. And that got me thinking about all our other old Twilight favorites that we loved and talked about so much… what are they doing now? Are they happy? Do they think back on us and Twilight with fond memories?

So I decided to do a little research and see what our old pals are up to.

How I’ll always think of Michael

Oregano – Michael Angarano will ALWAYS be the Young William in Almost Famous and for that I will always love him and I truly have high hopes that he will or maybe has escaped the Kristen/Robsten nonsense he was aparty too. I heard some rumors of him and Emma Roberts being an item and that would account for the frosty exchange between Rob and Emma on Leno but I don’t care enough to research this. So I’ll take the easy route… from the looks of IMDB he is busy like a bee, but not too much to pace in front of my favorite coffee shop a few weeks ago. My friends had to restrain me from asking what REALLY happened and what Cathi is REALLY like and if Nikki was REALLY involved in the whole final breakdown and if he can get me Patrick Fugit, Zooey Deschanel and Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s numbers.

Catherine Hardwicke – Besides being asked to make appearances at all TGIFriday’s grand openings in the continental US because she’s such a huge supporter of the chain restaurant our dear Jamaican vacation loving cougar is directing movies again! With Billy Burke as a character in her new period piece movie, Red Ridinghood, I wonder if she’ll make him grow a killer pornstache or walk around with a sword in one hand and a can of Vitamin R in the other. Whatever it is we know she’s already got the Lukas Haas/Amanda Seyfried audition tape from her groovy bedroom in Venice Beach on LOCKDOWN.

Sage – Formerly of super group Sage and the Dills. Ok, maybe not super group. But according to Nikki Reed herself she directed Sage’s video for a song which I’m sure I don’t care about but features Nikki’s “friend” Johnny Flynn. Why, Johnny WHY?!

AmanDUH - Oh Amanduh… where for art thou AmandUH?! You made us love you with your renditions of songs from the Twilight soundtrack, your dramatic reading of chapters from Twilight and who can forget the music video you did with your special Husband? We miss you! Where did you go? I did some light googling and found our girl is STILL at it only she runs her own fansite… HER own fansite the Amadah fansite and has like 5 youtube accounts. And I’m sad to report I think she may have left “Special Edward” and the kids in that apartment, changed her name and is now a porn star with a guido looking boyfriend. Maybe. These are my conclusions after my google research.


(if someone can figure out wtf that black line over her lip is, I’ll give you an award)
She’s also decided to honor The Runaways and obviously Kristen’s portrayal of Joan Jett with this stunning hair and makeup job. Though NOT a mullet (amateur!) she does have the pleather painted on! ALL HAIL AMANDUH! She’s back… or at least until she finds out I embedded her video here.

All my fave DILF moments, minus the orange pants

Chris Weitz – The man, the DILF, the legend. He made it alright for us to hope for something better than the Twilight movie. Under his careful guidance and sexy scarves we dared to hope for better FX, better wigs and NO spider monkeys. We got 2 of the 3. And we’re forever grateful. Chris paved the way for David Slade to take the reins and OWN Eclipse HARD. We can now only cross our fingers for Bill Condon’s vision for Breaking Dawn and thank Chris Weitz for paving the way. But what is our ol lover up to these days? He famously said he was going to retire after he finished “The Gardener” but by the looks of his IMDB he’s looking sexy as hale AND he’s linked to FOUR new projects that are “in development.” One of these is officially the best movie ever based on it’s title: “Another Bullshit Night in Suck City.” Whatever Chris Weitz ends up doing I’ll always want to give him a hug for making New Moon.

Where will the Bananager and David Slade and Xaiver Samuel end up and all our other latest favorites? Do we think anyone will end up on a future season of Celebrity Rehab? Here’s hoping not unless they have Rehab for an addiction to chain restaurant Italian food. Ahem.

Off to watch a billion AmanDUH  videos!
Themoonisdown

Who do you miss or wonder what ever happen to them? What happened to Buttcrack Santa? Has anyone ever actually been to Sage show?

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