Our Runner Up Virgin!!! Is in love with a movie character

Dear LTT-ers and Twilight sluts (one and the same?),

Remember our fun Virgin contest where we asked you all to send us your hilarious and embarrassing stories about your first time with Twilight? Well we loved so many that after we named Heidi the winner we knew  had to have a runner up because we loved Carrie’s email to her friend so much. We’ll let her take it away…

Oh heyyyyyy LTT-

So I found the below email that I sent to my bestie, a few nights after I saw Twilight for the first time. I re-read it and it made me lol. Also made me kinda melancholy, reminiscing about my times as a a Twirgin. Oh, so young and innocent…
FYI, I’m still only a heartbeat away from getting Edward Cullen’s name tattooed on my ass…

xox – Carrie

—————————————

From: carrie
To: friend
Subject: RE:
Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:12:03 +1030

Yeah still want to head to beach. Is going to be good beach weather Sunday. No other real plans yet, except for laundry, and reading my new book which I am officially OBSESSED with, and thinking about the movie and generally living in my new fantasy world, which I prefer so much better to reality…

You know how i told you I wanted to go see Twilight (the movie) cos I’d had this insane really intense dream about it and I couldn’t stop thinking about the dream?

Well the other night I was bored so I was going through Brent’s dvds and found a dodgy copy of Twilight that he brought back from Fiji with him.

So I watched it.

And I loved it. No, actually love isn’t the right word. I adored it. It was the single most amazing thing I have ever seen – and so much like the dream I had bout it – except better. After I finished watching it I was on this adrenaline high. It was bizarre. I couldn’t sleep or do anything but think about this movie.

Then all yesterday all I could do was look on the internet to find out everything about the movie and the book.
But it wasn’t enough, so last night I went to Village to see the movie ont he big screen and it was just awe inspiring. Incredible. So as soon as the movie finished I went to Borders and bought the book… and the soundtrack… and was up until 4 this morning reading the book.

What's better than this guy??!!

I am officially obsessed with a fictional character from a movie. But it’s not just me – there is this whole cult out there of people – guys and girls – who are obsessed to the point of psychosis with the books and the movie.

I’m a little concerned as it’s pretty much taken over my life.

But the good thing is that it has pretty much turned me off all men (particularly certain fat ones who work at Collins Simms) for the rest of my life. Because no one could ever be as amazing as Edward Cullen. *sigh*. I love him. I am in love with a movie character. I am a heartbeat away from getting his name tattooed on my arse.

Feel free to commit me to the mental ward now, cos I think I’m only going to get more obsessed from here…

Carrie
.
THANKS Carrie! After reading the entire last few paragraphs and laughing so hard remembering thinking the same things. What man will ever measure up to Edward? There are really more people obsessed with this out there like I am? Yea, this isn’t going to end well. We’ve all been there and still are
.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

56 Commented


Give us your Twilight virgins!

Dear Twilight,

Who knew outting our embarrassing first times on here would bring out so many other laughable, sweet hilarious, pathetic and down right embarrassing virgin moments from your other fans and our readers?! Everything from gchat conversations about DVD releases

me: I am totally going to a twilight DVD release party…wanna come? borders across the states are hosting these events
Friend: hahaha when?
me: and I am going and I am excited… 10:00pm-12:00am March 20  its the midnight release of the DVD which I’ve already preordered. well I’m actually pissed because there are lots of versions out there and I settled on the borders version like yesterday, target came out with one that I want more its got more extra features, and now I’m pissed
Friend: wait, that is spring break friday right?
Me: yes it is spring break friday night so I am going to be so happy on that day!!
- Heidi

 

Raise your hand if you've sent or made something like this

to becoming the friend you and your other friends make fun of

March 28, 2009
TheBFF: You’re going to kill me. My sister rented Twilight tonight.
Me: Don’t do it.
TheBFF: She wants to watch it.
Me: You’re dead to me.
.
April 7, 2009
Me: I have a confession to make, and you may never be my friend after this.
TheBFF: Doubtful.
Me: I have just spent the past 10 hours READING TWILIGHT (and I’m going back for more).
TheBFF: I do not believe you.
Me: I’m serious. [My husband] rented it this weekend, and I caved and watched it with him. Then when he went to work yesterday, I WATCHED IT AGAIN.
Me: THEN I went to WalMart and bought the book (and the dvd). OMG.
Me: I even went to WalMart so my regular bookstore lady wouldn’t see me buying it, and I could hide it under a box of Capri-Suns.
TheBFF: YOU ARE [random mutual Twihard acquaintance] !!
Me: I hate myself.
Me: But God help me, I love Edward.

-allryans

to writing quotable lines like (it did NOT disappoint! and KICK ASS!)

I know that I cannot have my way and have the book depicted word for word, so I think overall it was great. There were some silly changes, but that is to be expected of Hollywood. They rarely leave perfection alone. – Sadie

to writing impassioned essays titled “In the Defense of Bella” depending the feminist qualities in Twilight and reviews called “Fangs for the Memories”… ON YOUR FACEBOOK!

“Thanks to my obsessive reading, I finished the fourth and final book in the series two days ago (and then the unpublished, unfinished Midnight Sun, if you’re wondering). I thought I’d be relieved to have rid myself of a world so thick with hormones. Glad to not have to wonder what happens next.

Turns out that place in life is harder to say goodbye to the second time around.” – Laurel

to posting pictures of yourself you would never have taken in your “former life”

So we now know if we did it and all these girls did it… EVERYONE has their embarrassing and funny and poignant (but mostly funny) Twilight newbie stories. SO SPILL and you too could win an LTT/LTR tshirt from the store to further your public admission of your love for the Cullens and that Rob guy.

do NOT disappoint!
Themoonisdown

There’s still time! You can still send in your funny emails, letters, aim/gchats and be entered to win an LTT/LTR tshirt from our store! Email us!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

 

41 Commented


Once upon a time when I was a Twilight virgin…

Dear Twilight,

I cannot believe I’m about to partake in this “Twilight Week” Moon was so excited about (Read her letter from Monday if you have no idea what I’m talking about). Sure HER post was pretty 2nd-hand embarrassing, but it’s NOTHING like mine. Ugh.. the things I do for you…. Confess that I was once an innocent Twi-virgin…with great love for a sub-par movie…who referred to Rob as “Cedric” before saying his real name. Love me through this PLEASE:

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I just re-read the book again.  And I.CANNOT.WAIT for the movie.  I bought my ticket already and plan on being there super early to get seats. I will be attending with other vampire-fiends like myself.

I would like a vampire-lover. It could be Bill or Edward, however, I’d prefer Edward. Although a shape-shifter like Sam would be fine too. I take that back. I do not like dogs. However… I do wish I was Bella….. lucky duck

[Ahem: Yes, I linked to a bunch of pictures of other vampires & shape shifters. And a duck]

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My Perfect Bella

No one will care about this post except for [insert Moon's real name], but that’s just how much I love you, [Moon]!

I saw Twilight twice so far :) (emphasis on the “so far” because I WILL see it again) I had quite realistic expectations for the movie- I love the book(s) SO MUCH that it wasn’t possible for the movie to be as good.  I wasn’t sure if I liked Cedric Diggory (aka Robert Pattison) as Edward, but I did think Kristen Stewart looked perfect for Bella.  First glance it looks like the Cullen family’s casting was spot-on!

I saw the movie at the sold out 7:15 show Friday night with some wonderful friends and 1,000 screaming tweens and teens.  I almost kicked a 9 year old’s ass b/c her shirt said “Team Jacob,” but then she explained that “it was the only shirt Hot Topic had left.” (She was only really 9) I screamed at the Harry Potter preview along with the rest of the crowd. (And held my eyes and ears shut for the Unborn preview- what the H!?)

The movie COMPLETELY met my expectations.  It stayed so close to the book and the things they changed were mostly positive (aka, bringing in the bad vamps early on- liked that). It went SO fast.  Scenes that took 1 month and 250 pages in the book happened in 5 minutes- I definitely could have used more Edward/Bella love time (and I LOVED the kissing scene). I was disappointed that the only time he kisses her neck or spends much time in that region was at the Prom scene- the imagery in the book of his obsession with smelling her blood from there is SO AMAZING and they really glossed over it in the movie. Overall- I loved it.  I also could have used less laughing from awkward teens and swooning every time Edward came on screen (Okay.. I swooned too) LOVED the music!

So, I’m this lucky duck who has a husband who knows how his wife obsesses over things.  So, he “invited” me to join him to see Twilight again last night.  I was excited- it was a sleepy, cold, rainy Monday night and I figured all the tweens were in bed.  THEY WERE.  The theater held only 6 guests plus us! This time, I was the only one who cheered for Harry Potter or swooned when Edward appeared!

"Brilliant Scene" according to Mr. Choice

I warned [Mr. Choice] that as a piece of art, the film would probably disappoint.  It’s so hard for me to guess what “outsiders” would think since I’m such an insider.  I’ve told him a lot about the story (again, I obsess) and I was convinced he would hate Bella and Edward.  He was hard to read throughout the movie (I felt like Edward trying to read Bella), except when Muse came on.  Then he sang along.

I absolutely loved my 2nd experience.  It was SO different seeing it with “adults.” While I think I came away from my first time thinking it was a movie made for teens, I didn’t think that the second time.  There were things I noticed that I didn’t the first time around- and I felt that the connection between Edward and Bella was much stronger.  I was really sensitive about what [Mr. Choice] thought since I loved it so much and he’s such a film buff.  His thoughts COMPLETELY shocked me!

I’m forcing him to blog what he told me last night about the movie. FORCING him.  He LOVED it. He’s familiar with Catherine Hardwicke, the director, and thought it was her best film. He loved the cinematography, the actors, the chemistry between Bella and Edward.  And he thought the baseball scene was brilliant (it was- I tried the “Alice leg” last night- and failed miserably) He started played Muse the minute we got home! He said that this movie will get overlooked because of the demographic- but it shouldn’t.  He said no one would take it seriously, but it should be.  He thought it was as perfectly done as it could have been.  Even some of the things about the screenplay that I didn’t like, he thought were perfect.  He said he was just WAITING for it get cheesy- and it never did.  He even liked Stephanie Meyer’s cheesiest line “So the Lion fell in love with the Lamb…” So yes, my art-loving, film-buff (UFC fighting) husband liked Twilight.  I am so glad!

I’m re-reading the books (of course) and just finished Eclipse.  I forgot. O.M.G. It was so good! I can’t wait to finish Breaking Dawn! I’ll give you this, Team Jacob: While I hate every minute of what you LOVE in Eclipse, I do think their relationship is endearing. I love the scene in the tent when Jacob keeps Bella warm- but mostly because Edward says to him”But, if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that” HA! Suck on that Team Jacob.

Moon’s Comment (she was 2 out of the 3 comments. SAD!):

themoonisdown said…HAHAHA suck on that team jacob!! finished eclipse last night and LOVED it… might be the best so far… i was about to crawl out of my skin waiting for the ‘tent scene’ you were talking about. it did NOT disappoint!  aaaannndd just got back from my 2nd viewing of twilight and i have to TOTALLY agree everything was better i loved it! i was over projecting what i wanted it to be and just enjoyed it for what it was. i gotta hit the 2nd review on my blog. oh man wish we could go see it a 3rd time together. daang when can we seen new moon??? :D

[I LOVE that we reviewed & commented as if others outside of US were going to be reading these reviews.]

With tons of embarrassing love,
UnintendedChoice

WHY did I say “Lucky Duck” so much!? And I CANNOT WAIT to remind Mr. Choice how he actually LIKED Twilight in the beginning- HAHA! And I don’t remember a time when I referred to Catherine as anything other than “Cathy Hardi- frequenter of TGIFriday’s Happy Hours!” UGH… can you still “respect” me as a NORMAL Twilight fan? Or did I just get thrown in as “delusional crazy” in your book? TELL ME I’M NOT ALONE in how I was as a virgin!!!

We’re running a Contest!!

Contest Rules: Comment/email us a link or copy of your first time. A chat convo with a friend, a review on a blog, a funny comment at a Twi site. UC and I will pick our faves and someone will win a tshirt from the LTT/LTR store to be announced this weekend.

Oh & stay tuned for a special THURSDAY letter tomorrow!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

118 Commented


How to Deflower A Twilight Virgin

We’re less than 2 weeks away from the release of New Moon. Are your plans set or are you like one of the many people who have emailed us saying they have NO Twi-lovin’ friends and therefore are attending the midnight showing alone? Unacceptable! We enlisted the help of LTT friend HeyyyBrother to instruct us HOW to take away the Twi-virginity of your friends and family. Follow her instructions and you’ll have someone to split a $7.00 diet coke in two Thursday nights!

107-year-old-virgin-lrg

Edward Cullen: Virgin

Dear Twilight-Lovin’ Floozies,

(I mean that in the most complimentary way possible, promise…)

Between LTT/LTR, Twitter, and my overactive imagination, I spend so much time immersed in all things Twi that I sometimes forget that there are people out there who are still Twilight virgins.  My very best friend was one of them.  Even in the midst of early New Moon mania, she remained blissfully unaware of all things Twilight.  The kind of unaware where you could say “Edward Cullen” to her and she’d ask if that was a friend or coworker.  She had never even gotten to first base with Twilight.

She watched my downward spiral into addiction from afar, not really understanding what I was getting myself into.  Thankfully she’s the most understanding and open-minded person I know, so when I finally revealed to her the depths of my obsession, she simply laughed and supported me, never judging me for being what could be considered the Twilight equivalent of a nymphomaniac… a Twilomaniac, if you will. Pretty amazing, right?  It was then that I saw the potential in her; the potential to recruit her to the dark side.  I dropped hints that she should read the books, but she’d never been much of a reader.  I realized that was a lost cause and shifted gears to the movie.  Better that than nothing, right?

It’s our job as seasoned Twilomaniac hussies to find new conquests, but there’s a lot of responsibility that goes along with being the person to take one’s Twilight v-card…  It’s not something you should ever take lightly.  In the event that any of you find yourself in a similar situation, I’ve compiled a list of helpful tips.

107-year-old-virgin-lrg

Taylor Lautner: Virgin (But only because Chris Hansen scares away anyone willing to take away his v-card)

Are We Both Ready?  Things to consider before it’s too late.

  • Keep your obsession in check. Your friend will never be interested in getting intimate with Twilight if all you do is talk about Twilight.  Your best bet is to mention it every now and then, just throwing a little teaser out there – something to let her know about the swooning she’s missing out on.  Let her know that you feel strongly about the series, but it might be best to hide your extensive collection of Twi-porn that may or may not be limited to binders full of FanFic, Team Edward/Jacob/Switzerland garb, action figures, etc.  Definitely hide your New Moon Advent Calendar and/or Countdown Chain made of construction paper.  You don’t want to scare her off before you’ve even had the opportunity to pop it in.  The DVD, I mean…
  • Make sure it’s 100% consensual.  The day my friend told me she was ready to watch Twilight was a joyous occasion.  You don’t want to force this on them.  If she’s not ready, she may very well end up hating the entire experience.  No regrets!
  • They should be of appropriate age.  There’s some pretty mature content and material involved here.  Don’t make me call Chris Hanson on you… I’ve already got him on speed dial since your borderline inappropriate crush on innocent little Taylor, coupled with your recent plans for a road trip to Georgia, have me more than a little concerned.
  • Understand the risks.  If everything goes well, your friend could be surrendering her life over to the obsession just like you did.  She can say goodbye to her free time and her productivity at work. But if it doesn’t go well, your chance to recruit a new convert is over.  Remember: there’s no going back.

Don’t forget protection (and more) after the jump! Continue…

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