A Letter to Stephenie Meyer – Love, LTT

Sassy Steph

Sassy Steph

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Yesterday, while UC was working diligently, enriching people’s lives by conning them into buying overpriced hot tubs (fine-she wasn’t.. she was reading 750 updates in her google reader all related to Twilight- you caught her), and Moon was in her bed on the west coast dreaming of Edward, UC came across your latest website update. This line jumped out at her:

So that’s my “How I Spent My Summer.” I hope you guys had a really good time this summer, and found some great stuff of your own. I love this world full of stories and songs waiting to be discovered! And I also love you, the awesome Twilight (and maybe a few Hosts, too) fandom. I stalk your websites all the time—you guys are hilarious (I recently added LTT to my stalk list; thanks for the laugh lines, ladies). I’m looking forward to seeing some of you in November for a little movie release that I’m excited about. Too many months to go!



milfy Steph

After she stopped freaking out, read through the gazillion emails, twitter replies and texts she started receiving congratulating us on becoming “Goddesses'” (seriously, those words were used. And we’re not complaining- cuz we’ve thought of ourselves as  Goddesses for quite some time) she started texting Moon to wake her up from a dazzle induced coma to share the good news. At 630AM. Ahem. Moon has never jumped out of bed that quick and hit send on the phone. Poor UC had to hear her yell “SHUT UP” about 10 tens before we could properly discuss this turn of events.  After hanging up, Moon contemplated running a victory lap around her neighborhood shouting at the top of her lungs “WE HAVE ARRIVED,” but she got winded at the neighbors house and had to take a breather. So we reigned it in, cause we can’t be having a fangirl freak out too hard on a Monday morning. Especially on a day where we posted a comic about anal and a totally fake account of Moon being Rob’s fake fiance, in detail. Uh, WHOOPS! But such is life writing for LTT/LTR.

So of course what did we decide to do? What else?  We decided to pen a letter to you, of course, this is LETTERS to Twilight after all, welcoming you to our little world. We have the following things to say:

1. We hope you understand all the stuff we’ve written on here and we’re sorry. For everything we’ve ever said (except for all the stuff about Buttcrack Santa, cuz seriously? That shiz was messed up. Let us in on the secret, what was The Cougar Cathy drinking?) But seriously, we love this saga! Clearly.

2. We love you. But can we ask you one teeeeensy favor? Can you publish the rest of Midnight Sun, we’re kind of under a deadline for some New Years Resolutions we made… and there are people who want us to fail!

3. You need to pledge the LTT Sorority: Wanna Tapa Vampa! There’s nothing like running around a high school in a wool pea coat to show your true devotion. Yea, it’s summer in Phoenix, Moon knows all about that, but it’s gotta be easier than driving from NYC to Forks in a Volvo WHILE making homemade mushroom ravioli, right? We may have lost the “bake off” to the Sisterhood, but we’ll get em in the end!

4. Twilight Tattoos – We’ve got an appointment next week to get our matching tattoos inspired by Twilight and well, there’s always room for one more! Whattya say? Explaining to your husband why you have a Buttcrack Santa tribute tatt in your bicep or a Charlie Swan cop stache tatt on your finger is half the fun! Just tell him “That’s Normal!”

5. Can you introduce us to Rob? You know… cuz, he seems nice and all….

6. This doesn’t change a thing…. Sure, we may cringe a little more since we know you might read when we’re honest, in one of our Twilosophy sessions, about something you wrote, or when we complain about WHY in the world you didn’t hit a certain director over the head when she allowed the line “spider monkey” to infiltrate your beautiful story, but we’re not gonna stop saying it. We are who we are. We love the world you built in all it’s beauty and imperfections. And we’re gonna venture to guess that might be why you like reading us though.

Now that we have that out of the way, a belated Welcome to LTT!

By the way, how did you find us?

Welcome to our little corner of the Twi-world,
UnintendedChoice & Themoonisdown

Debunk Robsten with us at Letters to Rob
Wanna talk it out? Head over to the forum!

Since obviously the entire world needs to know SMeyer stalks US, we’ve decided to create a few new graphics that we’ll incorporate into our blog.  After the cut, take our poll & decide which one we should go with
(click to enlarge these)

Her original quote… but that’s no fun now is it??

Check out our new awesomly fake dream headers for the blog…

Botox party

Rewriting Twilight
That’s Normal!
Team I don’t give a crapsten
Buttcrack Santa


Time to vote!!!!!!


  • Vi

    I like to think it was Steph who found LTT/LTR by searching “Pic of Rob’s handwritting”
    but deep within i know it was me.

    • haha….. maybe she was the one who googled “steph meyer and rob pattinson kissing”

  • Ummm, that is frigging awesome that SMeyer reads you guys.

    And Moon! I was at work today flicking through one of our Aussie gossip rags when (un)surprisingly I stumbled across a Robsten article . . . featuring your taxi snap! I totally fan-girl squee-d (internally – out loud would’ve attracted a “WTF?” reaction from co-worker plus it’s easier to stay inconspicuous if I play it cool). And then I bought the magazine just cos your pic was in it. That’s normal.


    • KatieDid

      I totally had the same reaction when I saw the same picture! Only I was not at work (my co-workers already knw how crazy I am. they would just laught and go on *sigh*) I was standing in the middle of the grocery store so I had to contain my squeeee b/c ppl were already looking at me crazy for picking up the mag in the first place. I wanted to say “That’s Normal” 🙂

    • someone sent us the scans of that mag! we had no idea they were using it!

      • Hermes

        Hope you all got compensated from them for using your pics. in that rag.

        Secondly, interesting that the rags will run anything that anyone says is Robsten. I mean, you could have been anyone (not moon or uc) sending out that pic into cyberland and calling it Robstene and they’d believe it and print it?


        • themoonisdown

          didnt know, someone send us a scan so we can email them!

  • roseylee

    Haha… nope, she’s really the one that found LTT/LTR while looking for recent pictures of The Hoff 😀

    • haha yes!

    • themoonisdown

      don’t hassle the meyer! just like the hoff

  • “Hiiiiiiiiii Stephenie!” *waves*

    Nobody’s as funny as the Godesses *bows to the godesses*, but nevertheless, my pal Alice and I try over at notanaddikt.blogspot.com

    Yes, I am shamelessly trying to persuade Stephenie to read our blog too. Haha! 🙂

    • Whatev… Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the tree.

      When you admit it’s shameless, all is permitted. :-p

    • When you have 1 thumbs up…everyone knows it was you…just sayin’

      and if you’d be having 2, everyone would know it was me…so I’m backing off sistah :p

      • i gave her one! shameless plugs is how we got readers:)

        • Thanks UC! If I didn’t love you eternally before, I do now! 🙂

          So Alice… where’s three, “sistah”? (BTW are we going gangsta now?)

  • krazykidd

    Wow thats pretty awesome that SM reads the blog!! You girls should be proud of yourselves congrats!!! 😀 Shout out to SM!!!!

  • samantha

    oh wow, first sam bradley (and maybe even rob too!) and now ms. stephenie meyer herself! you girls are wicked cool! 🙂

  • PinkDolphin

    You girls were able to keep it cooler than I would have. Mainly because your question five would’ve been my question one!

    It was only a matter of time before SMeyer discovered the awesome that is LTT.

  • Natasha

    waves to Stephenie….welcome!

  • Mrs H x

    Nice letter. Glad to hear you are still keeping it real.

    SM – Midnight Sun please, before we all suffer from burn out would be nice. x

  • brookelockart

    I chuckled over:
    “After hanging up Moon contemplated running a victory lap around her neighborhood shouting at the top of her lungs “WE HAVE ARRIVED” but she got winded at the neighbors house and had to take a breather.”

    OH and loved that you linked right on back to yesterday’s post…just in case she didn’t catch the anal comic, she certainly will now.

    I <3 my ladies Moon and UC.
    The end.

    • and of course via the anal comic she’ll get the snail & dragon penis post… which is really what we want her to see..

      we’re like “seriously? you like us? are you sure? click on the snail & dragon one more time before you answer that”

      • brookelockart

        I think the “snail and dragon” pics tested everyone’s loyalty. I’m pretty sure it blinded people for hours, I know I was seeing snails everywhere I turned. Nightmares for weeks.

        PS. Bake-off or not, pretty sure Stephenie reading the blog, makes WTV the best sisterhood that ever existed or simply because I’m in it.

        • themoonisdown

          oh the snail!!! im pretty sure we scared a man at a bar showing him the snail/dragon on my phone.

  • Sal

    Congrats on making it to SM’s stalk list…amazing!!

  • robsten4life

    Congrats again ladies!!

    But I think I’m more excited for me… SMeyers and I read the same blog!!!! W00t W00t

    *waves at SM* (PS please finish Midnight Sun, then proceed to write the rest of the saga from EPOV!)

    As for the new banner I like buttcrack santa!!

    • TheColdWoman

      A thousand Awesome Blossoms! We want it all from EPOV!!!!

      • Holly

        Yes, yes, yes! Maybe we can use LTT to communicate to SM! (We heart you, Stephenie!)

        EPOV would be awesome. When rewriting New Moon, I’m sure you will fall into some God-awful depression, but now you know you can press on. Just visit LTT everyday for some laughs, and you’re good to go!

        • The first comment every day should just be:

          “Dear Stephenie, please finish midnight sun”

  • In the snippets of time when I wasn’t staring at grainy Robsten pics, I was totally thinking about you guys and I am SO FREAKING HAPPY FOR YOU! and jealous, I admit – but in a good way. And if Stephenie Meyer ever found our blog she would crook her little pinkie finger at it and “poof!” we’d be gone with all the other stuff she probably smites because she can…

    But srsly guys congrats I was probably almost as happy as you guys were when I read that. I may have squeaked in joy, really. You rock (but you knew that already).

    : )

    • hearts! and you know steph’s buying a twitarded thong

      • bwahahaha! oh man I would totally send her one if i could… er, but that seems creepy now that i think about it. um, maybe a nice coffee mug instead?

        : )

        • themoonisdown

          no the thong for sure.

    • vampsus

      Snark: I was thinkn’ about you when I read that SM found LTT. I shared the snarkie site with my dear husband tonight, cause it was good, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about SM adding LLT to her stalk either! Both sites Rawk!

  • Wow. That’s amazing.
    Congratulations 🙂 (not that it’s surprising, at all. LTT is one of VERY few favorites)

    • themoonisdown

      awwww we made YOUR list too!

  • RESPECT to LTT and the “ladies”. I just read Steph’s update and rushed over here to add my congrats. She only goes up higher in my estimation for having a sense of humour. And giving us Twilight and her writing songlists to boot. She rocks. You rock. It’s all good.

    • YES! I said that to a friend yesterday- if she reads OUR blog & still likes it… well, I respect her! for laughing at herself, the world she built, and the ppl involved!

    • themoonisdown

      capt!!! long time no see!! and yes super respect that she SO gets it!

      • omigod you guys replied to everyone’s congrats. for that you should get a dedication in the next book! 🙂

    • summergirl

      I agree, so great that SM gets the funny 🙂

      She MUST know we all want more Midnight Sun, I wonder if she is working on it?

  • so excited for you two but you’re funny as heck…what did you expeck?? (i’m rapping)

  • samalia

    sweet. baby. jesus.

    it’s oddly satisfying (okay and a little creepy) that i’ll someday have the same laugh lines botoxed as stephenie meyer. maybe she’ll share the name and number of her doctor. and rob.

  • Pinky

    That’s really great. You ladies deserve the recognition. You certainly bring a smile to my face every morning.

    I know when I read that SM reads LTT, like a big Twi-Nerd, I went back and re-read some of the archives just to see what Stephanie saw. Stephanie must have a great sense of humor and that makes me like her even more.

    • Pinky

      Ack…I mispelled Stephenie. Too many “e’s” for one name to bear.

      • i miss-spell it all the time…. i’ll be more careful from now on!

  • JodieO

    Woot! Congrats Moon and UC! We always knew you were full of awesome and now Stephanie does, too!

    Hi, Stephanie! I’m going to tell you what I told Pattinson Pants Lady: We kid because we love. Mwah!

  • When the news hit yesterday, the first thing I said (okay, Tweeted) was that UC & Moon were probably frantically poring over archived posts to see what all they said about Stephenie Meyer. #1 on your list there leads me to believe I’m right.

    “That’s Normal” has to be the winning banner. The fact that SM reads LTT proves that everything we do here is perfectly normal.

    • themoonisdown

      i SOOO went back and read some old stuff! HAHAHAA

  • sassysmart

    Congrats on having HM SMeyer as a follower!!

    She CLEARLY gets it…she understands the snark and I would be totally down with having some champagne and jerky with her.

    She’s cool peoples.

    • themoonisdown

      oh sassy you know the way to my heart… champs and the jerk!

  • and all was well with the world!


  • TheColdWoman

    Congrats Moon and UC!! You guys are SO goddesses.

  • Heeheehee. I love it! So happy for you! Again! 😀

    I went with “That’s Normal” cuz I feel it pretty much encompasses all our abnormalness (love adding -ness to anything! :-P), like the other headers.

    *doing a happy dance of joy for you*


    • Though now that I think of it, I like Steph and all, but I’m not sure I like her head so large in the header. Maybe smaller. Or maybe the same header you have now, just with the quote. I dunno.

      • themoonisdown

        hahaha you’ve never see those are our header! but don’t you love her face all up in it!

  • HeyyyBrother

    How did she find you? I hope she was the one googling “David Hasselhoff”…

    • HeyyyBrother

      Oh… also… CONGRATS. I’m really excited for you guys. I was thinking of doing a victory lap in your honor around my dept, but much like Moon, got winded just a few cubicles down. So instead, I’ll just toast you over a few drinks later…

      And Heyyyy Stephenie (if you’re reading the comments). We may poke fun here, but it seems like you can appreciate that. And if it weren’t for you and your wonderful story/characters/etc, this place would never exist — and I wouldn’t have Moon/UC/LTT/LTR and all the wonderful commenters making me laugh every single day. So many thanks to you for being so badass! Welcome!

  • Jena

    THAT’S NORMAL! Totes voted for that one!

    Stephenie, I ♥ you and your brain! Breaking Dawn was the first book I ever hugged after reading it. True story.

    Congrats ladies! I can’t wait to hug you both in Nov!

  • superhumanmoron

    Congrats again girlies! And hi to lurking Stephenie!!

    I like how you went from points 1-5 back to number 4. 🙂

    • haha i THINK that was a mistake! fixing!

      • themoonisdown

        uh oops, thats normal when you’re editing at midnight!

        • superhumanmoron

          I luvs you.

      • superhumanmoron

        You didn’t have to fix it on my account! It’s just the grammer nerd in me coming out that notices those things!

  • Katie S

    A million congrats, ladies! I was excited thinking that she MIGHT (emphasis on the probably not) have read a comment from me, so I can only imagine how thrilled you both must be!

    Keep on keepin’ on! Viva la LTT/LTR!

  • Kelly

    Too funny!! I love them all!

    Be true to you.. that’s what we love!

  • KatieDid

    Great letter as always!!! Congrats to UC and Moon u gals deserve the best!! We already knew you were awesome so its bout time Stephenie joined the rest of us!!! 🙂

    P.S. if you DO get to meet Rob can we join the party??

    P.P.S I voted for That’s Normal b/c I think it best sums up how we all feel bout the Twi-craziness we all LOVE!

  • tiffany

    remember when stephanie from full house wants to change her name to dawn because everyone keeps calling her “step on me”? Is it weird that I call stephenie meyer step on me ? Anyways…. Of course she reads your site. For real all the other twi sites are lame. Plus we have a rockin community of amazing “normal” ladies and corns that make the site even better. (If that’s possible) I really really am praying that she will search her name and discover all the posts where you guys talk about her being in lust with her real life Edward/ Rob. haha

    • Holly

      ‘being in lust with her real life Edward/ Rob.’

      She shouldn’t be offended because….THAT’S NORMAL.

    • Freya

      And Stephenie Meyer wrote “Breaking DAWN”?!? I smell a Full House conspiracy theory…

  • Christa64c

    Woohoo!! (pumping my arms as I run a victory lap around my office) Validation for the best blog in Twilight fandom. If the lovely Stephenie reads you it’s only a matter of time before people in her inner cirlce catch on. ( wink, wink nudge, nudge, say no more)

    • i can’t WAIT for Justin Chong to read us either!

      • PinkDolphin

        I figured you’d want Buttcrack Santa to read before La Push…

        • themoonisdown

          MIKE WELCH!!!!!! WHATS UP!!!!! how you likin’ da blog boy?!

  • pixiechick

    Welcome to LTT, Stephenie. Without you, we might not know what ‘normal’ is.. 😉

  • I bet SMeyer loved the comic on anal. Probably gave her some ideas for some new fan fiction…

    • Katie S

      I hope it gave her ideas for Midnight Sun.

  • “Can you publish the rest of Midnight Sun…”

    Could you put that in bold please?

    • I forgot to add that I’m totally lolling over the Kellen header! I think her face fits that one best!
      But just for you guys…I voted for Rob 😉

  • TLC

    yay for LTT/LTR!

  • Congrats on being acknowledged by her holiness… it’s what we all aspire to! you have amazing charm and sharp wit, who wouldn’t want to be here!

    • themoonisdown

      awwwwwwwwww so nice emily!

  • Holly

    I’m almost nervous to comment today. I feel like I’m being watched by a Higher power. *falls to knees and does the Wayne and Garth ‘we’re not worthy’ bow*

    We really do <3 you, Stephenie! I also love that Moon and UC will not be changing any of their snarkiness, so that no offence will be taken by you or any of your "inner circle" *crosses fingers*. Just know that these girls are the epitome of sarcasm and hilarity and they make all of us "regulars" laugh our asses off every day. You might have to put up with a few crude words and jabs at the not normal fans (sorry, but the tats are so NOT normal), but if you stick around, you're sure to enjoy some awesome fun times. Glad you're stalking here!

    Oh yeah, and I LOVE the first twelve chapters of Midnight Sun. I just wish I knew how it ended…ahem.

    • Holly

      Um, yeah…I just misspelled “offense” in a comment to an author.

      Btw, Steph, I’m a twenty-nine year old (for another week) stay at home mom of two…you got any good story ideas you wanna share? I’m just sayin’.

  • “We may have lost the “bake off” to the Sisterhood, but we’ll get em in the end!”

    Where was the (that’s what she said)??? You gals are SLIPPIN’!! lol!! Love your faces.


    • Also, I’d like to add my congratulations into the mix with everyone else. Truly awesome. You. Are. My. Heroes.


      PS – Stephenie Meyer, thank you for stealing my life from me and my husband doesn’t thank you for stealing his wife from him, but he likes the saga. That is all.

  • sft

    Oh my gosh it would make my year if Midnight Sun would come out finished! Please! I’d treasure it as much as Twilight.

    I’m off to go read it now and once again I’ll try to hold back the tears when it ends on page 264. It is unholy that it stops at a crucial point and BEFORE the meadow scene!


    • HeyyyBrother

      I’m SO with you on the unholiness of that! I spent two solid days at work reading it (sorry, work – but I don’t like you as much as I like Edward), and when it stopped and there was no meadow scene from E’s POV I let out an audible gasp/groan. I had at least 3 or 4 people ask me what happened. I had to make up something about losing an unsaved document… something tells me they wouldn’t have appreciated the truth: my heart had shattered into a million tiny pieces all because I couldn’t read about the imaginary object of my affection/lust (lustfection?) get all turned on in some field.

      /drama queen

      • Katie S

        “I spent two solid days at work reading it (sorry, work – but I don’t like you as much as I like Edward), and when it stopped and there was no meadow scene from E’s POV I let out an audible gasp/groan”

        WORD! And then I made my friend read it. After she was adamant about not reading it because she knew it was finished. She got mad, but I needed someone to suffer with me.

        • HeyyyBrother

          Wow, I’m totally guilty of the same! We’re both pretty evil, huh? Whatever, it’s worth it to have someone to collectively wallow with… Not to mention you do get to do some SERIOUS swooning for 260+ pages!

        • sft

          I’ll wallow with you guys. None of my other friends have read MS (just don’t care as much as I do I guess 😉 ) but now I want someone else to be annoyed for me because it’s a lot easier to spread the sorrow!

  • expat

    dear Moon,

    as you know, for weeks now i have been telling you how great you & UC are—how i always end my laptop tours with a smile thanks to LTT/LTR—do i get a letter for my troubles?—no way—but as soon as Stephenie Meyer confrims me in my opinion you fall all over yourselves & write her a letter immediately—

    i won’t file for a divorce yet, but i’ll be keeping an eye on future developments—we are currently not amused—
    but as i wrote yesterday the lady clearly has good taste & can recognize class—& that’s cool—:)

    • Dear expat,

      Are you famous? If yes, are you Rob? Rob could be thought of as an expat… sort of… so that makes sense…

      Ahaaaa! You are totally Rob! Ahem, dear Rob, you are aware of a little blog run by these same witty ladies called Letters to Rob? I think you might like what you find there.

      • All account-less wordpress monsters are being suspicious from now on. Watch your back Rob!

      • Proselyte3

        She’s not Rob, but even if she was…she already agreed to dance off into the sunset with ME! So step of B*otches! ;P xo

        (see disclaimer over at LTR, please and thk you.)

    • themoonisdown

      oh expat we write EVERYDAY for you our dear reader.

      oh and stop whining rob, it doesn’t become you… you already have your OWN site letterstorob.com

  • expat

    NB: the word is confirms—<3

  • Freya

    Dear Stephenie (I’m just going to call you by your first name, because we read the same blog, and that TOTALLY makes us friends),

    I was so disappointed that you weren’t at ComicCon this year, because to me, the author is the real star. Without you, all this wouldn’t be.

    And your hair is frickin’ hot.

    Fangirl smooches,

    • Way to suck up to the talent. Geez, Freya.


      • Freya

        Way to call me out! Shhh…you know that’s what I’m doing, but SHE might not know!

  • jazzled

    Congrats ladies, on luring the author herself to your little haven of snark. Looks like you guys have been having an awesome August : )

    I like that she can laugh at herself and us- definitely brings her up a notch in my book. Makes me wonder how much of the fan-fiction she’s actually read….

  • Jaybird

    I love that SM came out with liking LTT right after the “snail” and “dragon” !

    Love you guys even if you are like all famous and stuff now!

  • Bobina

    Congrats again ladies! Welcome Stephenie! I too will add to the please finish Midnight Sun pleadings.. please, please!!

  • Emma C

    Immortal Goddesses, Moon & UC, you rock. That is all.

    PS do you think Stephanie reads RAOR? I wonder if she knows about blog for Father Robward & his luscious nuns? That might shock her off the internet permanently!

  • Ashley


    Midnight Sun is an amazing novel…I’m sure you’ll finish it–just know that we love it and support you all the way!

    Your characters “are our lives now” haha.

    Moon and UC FTW.
    It’s all because of Robsten that we can thank for this…Rob and KStew will be your next subscribers 🙂


  • Jen

    Congrats ladies!

    While I like Rob for the new banner, I voted for KStew’s one -I never thought I’d say that one day- because even she wouldn’t be able to keep her bitchy face in front of your awesomeness. That’s NORMAL.

  • bobbygee

    Sounds like a great summer of fun. http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/

    • Holly

      I have to say it…who in the name of Stephenie Meyer are you?

      • HeyyyBrother

        HAHAHAH thank you… someone needed to. Also, you did so brilliantly!

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