What a difference a year makes – Taylor Lautner then and now!

One of these things is not like the other

One of these things is not like the other

Dear Taylor, (have I ever written JUST you?)

It seems like just yesterday that you were that little kid who played Jacob Black with the bad wig in Twilight. The same dude who looked like a nerd on the red carpet at the Twilight premiere with your popped collar and bad sonic-the-hedgehog hair. But boy, how times have changed. It doesn’t seem like a day goes by without some picture hitting the interwebs of you looking like a hot piece. Now I know we already border on the possibly inappropriate with you but we’re the same age as the chicks on your movie set, so no harm no foul, right? And well we’re moving to Georgia till February when all this is legal, anyway so don’t worry, Chris Hansen is alright with it. I asked.

The other day I was sending UC OLD pictures of you and we were laughing our faces off at dorky you were and then I started sending over some new ones and it struck me: MY what a difference a year makes… from popped collars to soaked suits in the pool, you’ve come a long way Taylor. And since I can’t get enough of charts and turning normal business tools into tools of “mass Twilight shenanigans,” I present you with the “Then and Now: Taylor Lautner, what a difference a year makes” time line…

Click to enlarge, it's HUGE (that's what she said)

Click to enlarge, it's HUGE (that's what she said)

Your life in a timeline… I especially enjoy the glimpse into the future circa 2049… I bet it’s like looking into a mirror for Big Daddy. So if you’re keeping track you can print this out to add to your Twilight business documents folder. You know the one next to that folder you keep your fanfic in at work. Yup, that one.

Take the cut for a little treat
Taylor, WTF is going on here?! Like I told the twitter folks, I don’t know whether this turns me on or just makes me confuzzeled.

Back to not having a life,

So did I miss anything? What’s your favorite stage of Taylor’s “blossoming?” hahaha I said blossoming. It’s late.

Don’t miss out on Rob Answering stuff at LTR
Chart the years in the forum
SPECIAL NOTE: Today is the LAST day to enter the Imma Contest! Send in your entries NOW!!!

Thanks to Taylor Lautner Source for not sucking and having awesome pics!

  • Dani

    ohhhh my god. hahahahaha big daddy taylor cracks me up. thanks for that.

  • The wet picture with TayLaut’s FMF is making me die. I’m not confuzzled at all with that one. That’s a face that I want to be the one to make him make… Sorry, Chris, but it’s true.


    PS – I love KStew’s skeleton gloves. I have to find me some.

    • Katie S

      I found some a TJ Maxx. Seriously.

      • Score! I’ll go search the interwebs for them.

      • TeamSeth

        It is Halloween month…

        • Katie S

          The most wonderful time of the year!

  • The Big Daddy! The Big Dadddddddy! Oh my gosh. I am dying…hahaha πŸ™‚

    And, this is a first, but I am admitting right here, on LTT grounds, that Taylor made me swoon.

    Yes. I just said that. For the first time. Ever.

    Now I am going to go ponder why it has taken so long for me to say that…

    • please figure it out and report back!

    • themoonisdown

      OH EM GEE. must know what happened!

  • omg 2049 taylor? HAHAHHAHAHA

    • egregiousgirl

      i know, right? i laughed so hard i spit yogurt in my lap.
      should have known better…

      • TeamSeth

        Loved the [most likely unintentional] Jessica Stanley quote.

        • StotheP

          HAHAHA. I think, “I know, right?” ALL THE TIME, but I try not to ever say it lest someone think I’m quoting Twilight.

          For the record, when I think “I know, right?” I’m totally quoting Twilight.

          • TeamSeth

            I know. That’s why I called you out.

          • TeamSeth

            (while still giving you an out, just to be nice…and because I was 2nd hand embarrassed for immediately thinking of Jessica Stanley)

        • egregiousgirl

          oh no, honey, it was intentional. but i say it all the time, so it might not count. thanks for the html tips, btw.

  • I love these Twilight business documents! I need to buy a printer so I can print them out. Umm I love the Nov. 20th, 2009 Chris Hansen busts UC and Moon and the 2049 Taylor as Big Daddy and UC and Moon get parol for good behavior!! HAHAH love this website =D

    And what the heck Taylor, why is he sooo hot for 17?!?!?

    • themoonisdown

      our good behavior? we created a prison blog: “letters FROM the pen”

  • Melymori

    “Chris Hanson busts UC & Moon” juajaja now I totally understand it.

  • Kristin

    Okay the wet ass in a air picture is too much. (Can I say wet ass about a 17 year old? I may or may not live in Georgia, emphasis on the may not)

    He does try too hard. and I’m pretty sure I would once again spontaneously become pregnant if they ever made Rob do that pose. or tackle my computer screen.

    PS – TIMELINE WIN. and girls, no worries, I’ll post bail…if I’m not sitting right beside you.

    • ambushed by twilight

      when you said “pretty sure I would once again spontaneously become pregnant if they ever made Rob do that pose” HAHAHAHA! ROFL to the max! that was priceless… laugh-laugh-laugh, i needed that!

  • superhumanmoron

    I love you guys. Long time.

  • Chelsea

    Click to enlarge, it’s HUGE (that’s what she said)…

    You weren’t kidding. I clicked to enlarge. It was huge. And somewhere in between August 2009 and Chris Hansen, I heard someone clear their throat behind me. Guilty as charged, I whirled around in my seat while simultaneously (desperately) clicking the minimize button.

    One of my coworkers was standing there, know-it-all-smirk in place, and he said, “Looking up hunky guys at work- bad girl.”

    You know that feeling you get when you’re caught doing something you aren’t supposed to, and you can’t think clearly around the big huge “BUSTED” ringing in your head?

    Well, that’s my excuse for stuttering out “I live in Georgia so it’s not illegal!”

    I won’t fill you in on the conversation that followed. But it did include a lot of “What are you talking about?” and relentless red-cheeked head shaking.

    • ambushed by twilight

      it’s okay… we understand. *shoulder pat*

    • Kate

      Oh lord, I would have died. haha because there really isn’t a good way to explain ..”well…I’m looking a chart to see when a boy became a man…he’s not quite there yet…but it’s still ok…right?”

    • Beth

      I’m sorry, but this made me ROFL! Total 2nd hand embarrassment for you! I would so die (esp. since I work in a church).

    • TeamSeth

      Did he really say “bad girl”? Amazing.

  • Moonjenn

    HA! Classic!! Thanks for sharing.

  • Not sure what to make of that breakdancing pic, but I am getting some man-on-man visuals from it. Love your timeline (except for the part where you go to jail)!

  • 3hboyshouse

    My kids love Sonic the Hedgehog, so this is kinda creepin’ me out! I guess the Sonic pic is my ‘cool down’ pic for Taylor, kinda like ‘the tuck’ with Rob.

    I have to say that any post with Big Daddy is a win for me, though. I just want to give him a big hug!

    • i know.. i just <3 Big Daddy..

      and i LOVE That Tay's version of The Tuck is The Sonic

  • Keller

    I had a Taytor dream the night before last. Involved being back in high school, fake lezbo-ing with an unidentified friend and then taking turns smooching on the Taytor. When I woke up I could vividly recall how hot, large and good his hands felt on my back. Majorly disturbing as I kind of liked it, I’m old enough to be his mother and the fact that the only Robward dream I have ever been blessed with involved marrying prom Edward at some large oudoor convention center where there were deer running all around. Last time I’m looking at Teen Vogue with my daughter before bed, damn Rob-GQ hasn’t produced as good of results-

    Been following LTT and LTR since March(first comment today), you all are incredibly smart, witty, and so very Twi-knowledgable and go perfectly first thing in the morn with a cup of green tea πŸ™‚ Thanks for letting me share in a place where “it’s normal” πŸ™‚

    • yay for first comment! X

    • TeamSeth

      I’m beginning to notice a first comment trend. Super sultry, first hand embarrassing (without being shameful=awesome), Twi-secret spilling, and/or about Robward. Always about Robward.

      My first comment was to suggest someone read Jane Austen if they needed something besides Twilight. I am lame.

      • ambushed by twilight

        JANE AUSTIN!

        are you serious or are you joking? b/c i LOVE her. and i LOVE the BBC version of Pride & Preg.

        (i have her collection leather bound… le sigh)

        • ambushed by twilight

          -typo- in meant “Prejudice” of course…

          type too fast… too many mistakes

          but i love that movie… and her books, like Persuasion… lovely…

        • Katie S

          I’d rather have Rob leather bound.

          • lovemesomecullens

            You snuck that one in there, Katie, but I saw it!!
            Leather bound!!

        • TeamSeth

          Ambushed, why would I be joking?

        • TeamSeth

          I mean, I don’t think Austen is lame, she’s hilarious and amazing. But I’m lame for not having a more clever hymen-breaking comment.

    • themoonisdown

      HI KELLER!! welcome out of lurkdom and your dream sounds hot!

      • Keller

        Thanks Moon-

        Wasn’t as hot as it could have been, must have been some subconcious Chris Hansen sensoring-

        Glad to be here πŸ™‚

  • ChinNubbin

    Bwaahahahahahaha! I love these charts you make!

    In regards to age differences, Taylor to me is like a sperm and Rob is a fetus. It’s bad enough with Rob, so I’m sooooo not going there with Taylor.

    • Melymori


      • ambushed by twilight

        SPERM?! *shudder*

        (i feel sick…)

  • Dear Moon,
    I just have no words. I’ll start gathering stationary for when I’ll write you and UC in jail. Can you get packages in jail? I’ll make sure to send a copy of the Sexy Stars of New Moon. Know you’ll be missing the tay pics.

    *applauding your dedication*

  • MoonMommy

    seriously disturbed by the Big Daddy Taylor Years….whew, I need to shake that off!

    Great flow chart Moon! Totes loved it!

    • MoonMommy

      forgot to include “that’s what she said” after the “shake if off comment” in my above post. Not enough coffee this morning yet…..

  • KinkyKiss


    I knew he was going to be a cutie since
    Cheaper by The Dozen 2!!!

    I Love him BETTER than Robward!!!
    [he is much sexier]


    No, It’s Normal

    • Moonjenn

      Totes normal. In fact, maybe extraordinarily normal if you ask me. πŸ˜‰

  • ambushed by twilight

    i just want to add that when you look at the “pop ya collar” pic on the flow chart… well, he’s biting his lip!

    did anyone other than me think that made him look like a creepy pretator/perv? i mean… eww… guys that bit their lip to think they look sexy in a pic gross me out… -sigh- how will i get that out of my head… i think he want someone to “make him legal”, big time. (that’s what HE said)

  • Jubbies

    So I had a very inappropriate dream about Taylor the other night. It was disturbing on soooo many levels b/c I don’t lust after him in the least b/c 1) I’m not a pedophile and 2) I prefer Edward. I mean sure I admit that his physique is quite attractive but that’s about it.

    Anyhow, my point is that in my dream I was absolutely terrified I was going to be charged with statutory rape. I felt dirty when I woke up until about lunch time when I was finally able to convince myself that it was just a dream and that I was not going to go to jail and I had not betrayed Robward.

  • MidnightSin


  • kathleen02

    Wow, I really really appreciate all your Twilight related business charts. This is so good I nearly printed this up on legal paper and hung it up in my cube…next to my new poster, lol. *clapping* I love you!

  • Let me just say, my feeling for Tay are so built up in my head that I decided it wasn’t worth it to go to the charity premiere they’re having in Knoxville, TN (he will be there) because I think seeing him, as a real person – a real 17-year-old person – would totally screw up all these warm fuzzies in my… mind. Ever see that episode of Friends where Monica sleeps with the high school senior? Total Ick Factor.

    So I will stick to the hot pics and blockbuster movie illusions of my smokin hot and 17-turned-mid-20s Taycob, thankyouverymuch. πŸ™‚

  • So I just stumbled upon this blog! THANK YOU!!! I’m in Twilight heaven!

    • you’re welcome!

    • ambushed by twilight

      ahhh… a newbie… well you’ll enjoy it! you should read the posts from yesterday… it was a kicker!

      (that’s what she said)

  • egregiousgirl

    • egregiousgirl

      i give up – wordpress hates me!

      • TeamSeth

        just copy paste the url itself and we can copy paste it into our servers.

  • Krystle

    LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! Ladies Love Cool….Taylor!!!!! I totally have this joke with my bf about LLCoolJ. And whenever I talk about him I do the kiss/peace thing with my two fingers LL style. That dude is always licking his lips – wtf?

    • TeamSeth

      He can afford chapstick, so I don’t know what it’s all about.

  • lovemesomecullens


    I guess Taylor is you know, ok and all, if you like that sort of muscle-y, rock hard, chiseled look, with beautiful dark eyes and glossy black hair in all his stamina possessing youth.

    But, me? Oh, I kinda tend to go for a thrift store shopping, wild haired, drunken hobo in bad shoes. But, like I said, that’s just me.

    • ambushed by twilight


  • kjp

    I love – love – love your charts! I am constantly impressed by you guys.

  • Calliope

    will i be able to send you magazines with taylor’s photos in it once you and UC are in the bighouse? or is that sort of counter-active to the very reason you are in there.

    maybe i can pretend to pass them off as pics of my kid?

    umum but seriously.

    i’m thinking i might try to hook him up with my little cousin. they’d be hot together. and i’m game for any angle that gets me in!

  • R.

    I don’t really have much of an opinion on Taylor, other than the fact that he is def sexy and can imprint on me anytime(NOW THAT I KNOW IT’S LEGAL HERE IN CANADIA!) but seriously, I don’t get why some people are always bad mouthing him..put it THIS way..

    If Taylor was the one who stole your dads white interior power hat, had less clothes in his closet than your little sisters barbie has in hers, was drunk (there fore more willing..*cough*..uh..what?) all the time, made you wish that you were his cigarette, POSSIBLY smelled like 3 week old stale beer, had stains on all of his clothes, and looked like he still needed Big Daddy Lautner to dress him..you would be all over that shiz like white on rice!

    If Rob was the one with the extensive media training, the bad ass dance moves, the good lip syncing abilities, the good hygiene, nice clothes, and BORING ass interviews where he just stood there looking pretty.If he was the one who was cast as a jort wearing meathead.. Where would be then?

    Just get Tay drunk, have him raid robs closet(ie: the salvation army down the street from the hotel), give him a pack of powdered donuts so he can say he used his circa ’94 pants as a napkin and all will be good in the universe.

    All in all, watch the vids..they are funny, but it upped Tay’s cred in my books!!

  • R.



    • TeamSeth

      Oh no you didn’t.

      I cannot believe that he was that young when Usher’s “Yeah” would considered cool for dancing to…’cuz that was like only 5 years ago.

      But let’s be honest, who isn’t impressed with a guy who can do a standing back tuck and an aerial?

      • lovemesomecullens


      • R.

        I KNOW!!! right?? I would break my body in more ways than I care to count. I found it hard to not chant out..”go Shark Boy..it’s your birthday..”

        He totes makes it look easy!!

  • R.

    and just because this video is gold.

    EMBED-Robert Pattinson Flashes Tweens – Watch more free videos

  • LuvnRobALLday

    This comment does not go into effect for at least another year…I WOULDN’T KICK HIS HOT LITTLE ASS OUTTA BED!! πŸ˜‰

  • leahcyr

    This is the first time I’ve seen that soaked picture..
    I would like to see more.. pretty please..

  • MidnightSin


  • southernbelle

    Well imagine how he’s gonna look like ten years from now!

    The other day I was flipping through channels and I saw this Disney movie, can’t remember the title but he played Shark Boy in it….he was so little! πŸ™‚

  • Wow, I just fell in love with you all over again, Moon. That was priceless. I’m still crying from laughing so hard.
    And, if Georgia is not where you want to live. Bring the boy to Sweden. 15 is the leagal age here. (not that it matters to me. I could be his mother!) LOL πŸ™‚

  • Carrie

    Oh sweet jesus that timeline made me laugh so hard I spit my brakfast halfway out my nose.
    Your site needs to come with some sort of disclaimer that it induces hilarity.

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  • Roxi

    Ahh! that was awesome letter πŸ˜€
    The pic was awesome! Hahaha, i loove the sonic the headgehog stage hair xD
    Ahh, i hope he doesn’t turn into a big daddy!

    I thought i’d just mention that Taylor is leagal in New Zealand… πŸ˜‰

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