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Team Jacob, almost

Things we have in common: Pale, Brown hair & eyes, F*cking Rob Pattinson- oh wait.. nm...

Dear Bella,

I first read about you long before I had a friend to talk about you with, an actress to put a face to your name or a vision of you as a sub or slutty secretary. And I liked you. I related to you- minus the hot vampire boyfriend part. It was to my surprise when I finally got a friend to read about you, that she wasn’t impressed. Not necessarily with the saga- she liked it enough, but she thought you were…. ANNOYING! And WINEY! And unfair to Edward & Jacob. Okay, I can agree with the last part, especially in Eclipse, but I never really had much to complain about you prior to that.

Turns out, a LOT of people really think you went too far with Jacob in Eclipse. Of course those are the people who are 100% Team Edward. There are also those who think you didn’t go far ENOUGH with Jacob. Those people are crazy and we all agree should be locked up (except for Stephenie Meyer, who we’re 97.6% convinced IS Team Jacob. We need her to stay around to never ever finish Midnight Sun or write about Jashley)  I, on the other hand, am also 100% Team Edward, and sure I wasn’t happy about the way you strung Jake along, but on the mountain, after the tent scene, when you beg Jake not to leave and then ask him to KISS you- I’ll admit, I was cheering you on in my head. Of course IMMEDIATELY afterward I felt regret, disgust & guilt, but in the moment I was there with you- urging you on, hoping you slipped a little tongue in, grabbed a hold of his hair and pushed yourself up against him a little harder. I know, I’m a little ashamed of myself.

well.. almost...

So it shouldn’t surprise you that on Tuesday evening when I got to see you and Jacob in PERSON on the big screen, my reaction mirrored the one I had in the book. As the moment drew near, I felt the build in my stomach, the shortening of my breath, the beginnings of a cold sweat running down my back. When you demanded Jacob not leave, a smile crept onto my face. It was at that moment when I was distracted by a movement to my left. Moon, in the seat next to me, COVERED her face with her hand. She spread her fingers slightly so she could view the screen, but her stance was one of fear. We must’ve looked ridiculous with my giddy smile and slight bounce in the seat & Moon’s fear of what we both knew was coming. And then it happened. You asked Jacob to kiss you. And he did. Sloppily, too fast, heads moved too much and I’m not sure I saw the french kiss of my imagination, but it happened. And I yelled with joy along with Team Jacob. And when it was over, I felt the utter shame & humiliation.

I think I understand you. I think I understand your plight. You love them both. I love you with them both. I’d love myself with them both even more, especially if it were at the same time, but that’s for someone to write about and send to me secretly so I can keep it stashed in my secret fan fiction drawer next to my bed. Jacob is perfect for you. Jacob understands you. Jacob would be amazing for your future. But Edward is your soulmate. You and Edward are made for each other. You and Edward fit. (Plus imprinting on a child is weird enough. Let’s not add in Jacob imprinting on a child he MADE with YOU!)

DO IT DO IT! (Even though Bella looks like a wolf here....)

So when Jacob sauntered over to you and brought your face close to his and lowered his lips down on yours, I was chanting “Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!” along with the 12 Team Jacob members in the theater. I knew the consequences of the choice I was making (name that quote) but I yelled it anyway. Well, quietly. Cuz I think Moon had a knife in her purse she would have used on me had I vocalized what was in my head.

So you should know you’re not alone. There are those who feel you chose wrong & should have gone with Jacob, but they are crazy people who sleep with wolf stuffed animals. Then there are those who whole-heartedly knew Edward was the best for you from the beginning, and there is a special place in heaven for them with personal mansions filled with rooms specifically for pillow biting, headboard breaking & egg cooking in the nude. And then there are those like me- who hugged a stuffed animal wolf for like 3 seconds once and had a good time doing it, but then threw it in a blender, turned in into cotton & made some sexy lingerie from it which was promptly removed before breaking headboards, biting pillows & showing Jacob how it’s done with Edward, the only one for you!

So you & I considered the other guy for like a half a second, but we chose right! I got your back, Bella!


So… were you like Team Moon covering your face in horror of what was to come? Or are you joining Team UC where you got excited for a split second for the kiss with the boy that almost was the one?

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  • I am SO Team UC! I feel the EXACT same way…I mean, EXACT. I did cheer briefly and then felt the remorse. I got the glare from the 100% Team Edward chic next to me, the whole bit. I have the soft spot in my heart for Jake. I choose Edward, but I love Jake too…just like Bella. That kiss was frickin hott…maybe a little sloppy, but I liked it. I wanted to switch places with KStew many many times in that movie and that was one of the times I was about jump into the screen. Maybe she needs a stunt girl to do all of her kissing with Jake. She said it was kinda weird for her. I wouldn’t mind at all.


  • AJ

    I just think it’s great in a really creepo way that someday Jake can say to Edward: “Dude, you know that I’ve made out with your wife AND your daughter, right?”

  • whyamidoingthis

    This post is total WIN! I’ve already spent far too much time on here today, but I couldn’t help it. And strangely, I’ve found myself agreeing with so many different comments, be they Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team 3-Way, Team Bella, or Team Hunt Bella. I respect everyone’s valid (and often hilariously stated) opinions!

    Thanks for some great reading and discussion today!

  • O.M.E.

    The first time I read the saga, I thought Jacob was SO annoying, always in the way of Bella’s true soulmate, Edward (I love u Edward). However, after watching the movies (with Taylor) and re-reading it all I REALLY wanted Bella to kiss Jacob in both the book and the movie, I was behind it 100% and couldn’t stop fidgeting in my seat (need the DVD sooner than soon so I can watch it and rewind and watch it again) . I can totally understad being in love with two people at the same time, And i think it is alright. Bella is always honest with Jacob after all (with her brokeness and all that). i did however want more from Edward in the movie about the aftermath of the kiss. I thought that part was weak, Team Edward forever!

  • Saga Devotee

    Amen sistah!

  • CC

    I am Team Jacob no doubt!! I wanted to slap the poop out of Bella when she told him to kiss her!!! I was like WTF are you doing!!!!!!!!! Ugh that was soooo freakin wrong of her to do it! Now i didnt cover my face i sat there and watched it and i was just wishing it was me there instead of Kristen hahaha! To me its Bella’s fault and she just hurt Jake doing it, and if Bella was a dude and he kissed another girl no one would like it and they would all be pissed at the dude too. Thats how i feel

    Now I just wanna make it clear that just because im team Jake it doesnt mean i dont like Edward. I do he’s freakin great he’s meant for Bella, but people are always saying boooo you like Jacob LOL. Hehe I cant help it he’s the guy i’d go for 🙂 I’ve never doubted that Edward and Bella should be together. Even when she says she loves Jake, some how I always knew that her and Jake were just supposed to be BFFFs.

  • KinkyKiss

    i was sad when Bella chose Edward!!
    it must have been the chemistry or something
    but i totes wantd Beller to chose Jacob!

    i was way impressed w/taylor this movie!
    he was waaaay convincing…
    or i was jus going in blinded by his total sexiness

    but this movie i was TEAM JACOB ALL THE WAY

  • struhar2009

    i was right there with you uc! my bestie is team jacob and she doesnt get it that for like half a second i slipped up and enjoyed the kiss. i get team jacob i do, but i am soo team edward

  • Pattygirl

    I love Edward for himself not for bitchface Bella in the movies. Edward and Jacob should dump Bella/Kristen because Bella is Kristen in reality.

    I seen the Alice/Xavier photoshot in Spain etc , they are way too polite with each other unlike KS when posing with TL. Because Xavier has a girlfriend and respect her. Rob pls dump Kristen, she is a bitch and a bad influence and has lot of issues/baggages.

    Love you

  • scardicats

    Could not have said it better myself!

  • Monzo

    The Bella and Jacob kiss was HOT! I was cheering them on (for a few seconds) and then I felt bad.

    I’m team Edward, sort of, but I’d also be happy if the story went the other way and she ended up with Jacob. (I’ve read all the books (x 3) so I know it doesn’t happen that way).

    My best friend hates Jacob- but is there were no love triangle, what would be the fun in that??

    • Monzo

      Btw I mean I’ve read all the books three times ( x 3), not meaning to imply that I think there are only 3 books. That would be stupid.

  • sonata

    “Plus imprinting on a child is weird enough. Let’s not add in Jacob imprinting on a child he MADE with YOU!”

    ROTBL. I literally rolled of my bed laughing at that. That’s what I get for being lazy and checking LTT before I even got out of bed this morning. See what you’ve done to me….

  • Wende

    So Eclipse earned $161 million this weekend, making the winner of the guesstimate opening weekend sales – MOON! B/C UC has little faith in Twihards.

  • eclipse22

    i squirmed and squirmed in my seat then we he came in for the kiss i look everywhere and anywhere but at the screen until he said that should have been our first kiss, to which i retort ” in your dreams ,looser!” then felt so so bad for edward u can tell its killing him inside and he’s hurting but i guess when ur a 100smtg yr old vamp u truly understand the concept of perspective and he knows what its like not to have her as oppose to having her flaws and all that jazz…seriously though i’m not sure bella is capable of being that comprehensive if the tables were turn and tanya was a serious threat to her relationship!!!! and from the little glimpse of green monster in BD she doesnt like the idea of sharing edward, selfish!

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