Breaking it down: The Font and I talk Taylor, bare feet and DOWN THERE!

Dear Taylor,

Sometimes I end up talking to my guy friends about you and not because they want to but because I commandeer the conversation and we go there. I apologize in advance for talking about some sensitive subjects for both you, Jacob and whatever’s going on beneath the Jorts.

(suck it Chris Hanson!)

A first… breaking it down with me and The Font

Take this invite and shove it!

The one where I totally commandeer the convo
The Font: Moon
Moon: The Font…..
*lots of time passes*
Moon: i take it you saw the new jacob picture but you’re too shy to bring it up?? do you want me to start??
………………
Moon: ok… running barefoot?! wtf? am i right??? just because white bread vanilla snoozville bella and edward sent you an F You! wedding invite doesnt mean you need to risk a cold or worse yet needing a tetanus booster when you inevitably step on a nail from running without shoes.
Moon: you send them a F You! gift from their registry and by gift from their registry i mean a flaming bag of crap thrown onto the cullens front porch!!

What should really happen at Edward & Bella's wedding

Moon: or you streak the wedding, dump a bucket of blood on bella a la “carrie” then yell “they’re all vampires you idiots” at the crowd of dumbass townies who couldnt recognize a werewolf if it phased in front of them……
(it’s your turn to jump in…. anytime now….)
.

The one where he finally gives in and jumps in
The Font: i go get a hot pocket and come back, and this is what happens?!
The Font: why is he BAREFOOT? is that a werewolf thing? or he does not have the twenty seconds to put on shoes?
Moon: i guess when you’re a werewolf in love with a vampire’s girl, pithy things like footwear doesnt matter. if he gets hurt it heals within minutes anyway so i guess he thinks fuck it, try to kill me tetanus!!!

Not exactly the Sports Authority

The Font: still. just for COMFORT’S sake
Moon: well maybe he’s realized it’s not worth it to lose another pair of shoes, because he’ll just get more pissed off, phase and the shoes will shread to pieces anyway. it’s a shitty economy still. he’s being economical and im sure new running shoes arent exactly cheap at newtons outfitters. its not like sports authority. they gotta put mike through community college somehow.
.

The one where we discuss Jorts vs Stretchy Pants and modesty

Official uniform of the wolfpack and everyone in our neighborhood

The Font: aren’t there stretch shoes for these kinds of things? the hulk always has stretch pants
Moon: you’d think thatd be the way they’d go, but they like the denim jorts. hipster wolves?
The Font: let’s talk about THAT! if they have JEANS on, how are those not ripping? jeans are not exactly known for their give
Moon: ok, here it is… (twi nerd of the day award) they either take them off and stash them into the woods before the phase, or they shread off their bodies. thats pretty much how the explain it in the books and movies. in the books, apparently, they tie an extra pair of shorts or whatever around their legs, in the movies they stash them in the woods
The Font: so concerned with modesty, these wolves

Dude follow the cut, we talk about naked Jacob and SO much more after this
Continue…

121 Commented

It’s the small things – scenes in Twilight

(our lil UC is sicko so bear with me while I double post in her absence)

Dear Twilight movie franchise (yes, all of you),

The other night at the Iron & Wine concert I had a moment. I won’t even say I was a fan long before the song was in Twi but WHATEVER, I HAD A MOMENT. Sam Beam sang “Flightless Bird” mostly a capella as his encore and I’d be lying if I wasn’t mentally whisked away to that gazebo at the prom with Bella and Edward dancing under the twinkling lights. Of all the song and scene pairing I think that is by far the one I link together the most and really just one of my favorite scenes. And (of course) that got me to thinking what about my other favorite scenes. What will I smile and think about long after all the movies have been released and we’ve been put out to the blogging pasture?

I kinda think it’s gonna be more about the little moments to me… Bella’s feet on Edward’s feet in the prom scene or maybe…

After being confronted by a curious Bella about his eye color and wondering whether he got contacts, Edward awkardly mumbles and turns around to leave down the hallway. Way to totally draw attention to it dude! But then we wouldn’t have the arms holding the jacket or the BACK in that tshirt. Yes, this is a great moment.

Not in the book but definitely one of my faves little moments in Eclipse features Edward bro-ing up with Jacob after the kiss and Papa Swan having to step in.

From UC’s sick bed she tells me that this is one of her faves…

Jacob and Bella’s “it’s not a lifestyle choice” walk on First Beach at La Push. Jacob (Taylor) looks about 20 years older thus making us not feel so bad for crushing him as much as we do.

There are about a billion little moments in the Twilight movies that make me smile, make me laugh and make me sigh. Can’t it just be November already and the wait will be over so we can begin finding our new favorite little moments in Breaking Dawn? Ugh, the unfairness of it all.

Ohhh and before we go I have one more favorite little moment…… follow the cut

Continue…

230 Commented

Storytime with Moon: People’s Choice Awards 2011

R: OMG we're at a People's Choice Awards... K: just smile.... T: HAHAHAOMGHA

Dear LTT-ers,

Wednesday night I hoofed it all the way from West Hollywood to Downtown LA to attend the People’s Choice Awards with @bitemebaker and the lovely gals from Twilightish. Sadly, the drivers of LA did NOT know where I was headed and decided to hold up traffic like it was Sunday driving time with their grandma’s. Didn’t they know I had to see whether the trinity would  take pity on us poor poor sad bored fans and give us a little tiny clip of something from Breaking Dawn, ANYTHING? Well spoiler alert: They didn’t! And didn’t the drivers of LA know I needed to get to the Nokia Theater to see whether Kid Rock would wear leather or fur? Spoiler Alert: he wore BOTH (swoon/vom.). No, they didn’t but maybe the driver’s of LA knew I didn’t need to see Selena Gomez “perform” whatever her song is and didn’t need to see Johnny Depp not show up to accept an award that Rob didn’t win. So as it turns out the drivers of LA know me pretty well and getting to the awards almost an hour late was perfect because I sat down right as AnnaLynn McCord was coming out to present! Oh memories…. I was hoping she’d get an award for People’s Choice for best deep throating of a fruit or vegetable but sadly she lost. I mean she presented something else.

Never thought I'd say Ashley Tisdale was the luckiest girl on the stroll last night

So it must be known that the trinity wasn’t ushered in till right before Kristen’s award where they shuffled in whoever was going to win next to sit in the front row with the only semi celeb they could get to show up and stay in the audience: Ashley Tisdale. So either the Summit private jet was late in arriving or Rob, Kristen and Taylor had WAY more fun getting plastered (on virgin cocktails of course) at the open bar backstage with Jenny Anisten. Easy choice.

How did we spot them you ask? Well I noticed good ol Dean standing down in the front row and I was like wow that big dude looks like Dean and maybe that guy sitting down kinda has Taylor’s complexion… and wow, is that Kristen’s hair and ok that must be Rob in that weird tan colored jacket. Wait, doesn’t he know it’s January, aren’t there some kind of fashion rule about that? Then I stopped talking to myself and we all stood up to get a better look and twwwwweeeet.

Move bitch, get out the way!

They sat down on the front row and any time a commercial break happened Dean would stand up and then like 10 dudes would rush in from stage right and surround them. It became clear why this was necessary when some girl made an ill prepared attempt at trying to meet the trinity and instead got one-hand-Heismen-trophy-posed out of the way by Dean. It was amazing. And then sad because the trinity has to be protected like the latest shipment of Air Jordans to your local Foot Locker. Then I remembered they make a billion gajillion dollars and a felt less sad for them.

This is what it looked like when I took a covert cell phone shot. MOooohahahaha
(Please love the care and precision with which this image was made)

So then finally Kristen won the award for best actress or whatever and Taylor became my favorite by helping Kristen up the stairs by taking her hand. Start some conspiracies yall, just cause I love them so much! It’s a PR ploy you guys! It’s really Taysten! Krislor lives! Ok, whatever Kristen goes up there and thanks everyone blah blah blah.

Another commercial break and Queen Latifah breaks through Dean and the defensive line down front to say hi to the Trinity.

and then we were witness to one of the more embarrassing moments of the twidom.

I know it’s all in good fun and it’s Queen Latifah trying to be cute and MAN are those guys good sports (give the trinity snaps) but seriously? Cause I was 2nd hand embarrassed and I was like hundreds feet away from them and I was shrinking in my seat. It was embarrassing as a Twifan. ugh. We are not all lunatics (says the twiblogger).

Is this really happening to us??

Mercifully some producer saves us all and wrestles the mic away from Queen Latifah so someone could give out an award. At this point the trinity was not being ushered out so I knew we had to be at the end of the show and it was pretty clear Twilight “won” for best movie. I mean it’s the People’s Choice awards they give the award to whoever shows up.

Ashton Kutcher took a night off filming Canon Camera commercials to come give away an award with Princess Amidala and SHOCKER Twilight WON!!!! ZOMG!!! I had no idea it would!!!!!

The trinity ascended to the stage and thankfully Rob recognized his and Kristen’s lack of public speaking prowess and pushed Taylor up to accept the award. Taylor recited his lines correctly but BONUS he made an awkward refrence to Katy Perry’s joke/euphamism about the awards being heavy like her boobs. UMMMM awkward turtle!!! Either Taylor got the joke or he made it even funnier by NOT getting the boob reference. Either way WIN. Then I crossed my fingers Taylor would surprise us with a teeeny tiny clip, a flash, a picture ANYTHING from Breaking Dawn but alas. NOTHING. Help us out Summit!! The natives are getting restless! I’m scared!

I'd like to thank John Stamos without whom this outfit would NOT be possible!

Next, Kristen said some stuff and her dress strap fell while talking and Taylor, being the gentleman he is, rushed to push it up. CONSPIRACY!!! PLOYS!!!! (anyone, anyone?!). Then Rob said some stuff and thanked John Stamos for letting him raid the “Jesse Catsopulous Closet” while he was at the party last summer.  Then they all got on a private jet parked on the roof of the Nokia and flew back to the town with no cameras, paparazzi or internet access, better known as Baton Rouge.

The end.

Congrats to Twilight for winning some People’s Choice Awards! Now give me a set picture and no one get’s hurt.
Themoonisdown

Did you watch? Were you in ANYWAY surprised they won? Were you making hoping JUST A LITTLE that there would be something special? Did you feel box blocked? Also share your conspiracy theories!

Thanks Eclipsemovie.org, Robsessed, whoever tagged some of these photos, Twilightish

Oh- we ruled at blogging today and BOTH posted on LTT- so don’t miss the other letter for today!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

142 Commented

Year in review and our 2011 Twilight Resolutions!

Dear LTT-ers,

We started a tradition when we first began this blog in 2008 by making resolutions for the year ahead. We made plans for ourselves and the blogs and have kept tract of our progress. It’s amazing how many we’ve made happen and how many we’ve failed miserably on. So of course it’s New Year’s Eve 2010 and time to revisit our 2010 resolutions and make our resolutions for the next year…

Our 2010 Resolutions…

1. Actually get ON the red carpet at the Eclipse premiere and not be standing across the street trying to figure out if that’s Rob’s hair or Mike Welch on stilts that the girls are screaming for. Verdict = half FAIL!

While we weren’t OFFICIALLY on the red carpet to interview or represent the fans we were VERY close, close enough to tell it was definitely Rob and NOT Mike Welch. We even had a gaggle of LTT-ers there in multiple locations so we had ALL angles covered. Sadly, we did not get to interview anyone to ask what they order at the Olive Garden BUT there’s always next year! 2011!!
Moon/UC: .5 People Who Want Us to Fail: .5

2. Get a picture with Kaleb Nation to commemorate meeting him instead of running into him accidentally while looking for a bathroom and then totally forgetting to get a picture since we were too busy thinking about not peeing our pants. Verdict = FAIL!

So we meet up with Kaleb like 320489324 times this year: DVD release, Eclipse Con, Premiere. but NO pic. We even got pictures with the girls from The Twilight Lexicon and Larry 411 and yet no TwiGuy. FAIL!  Those moments will live on in our hearts forever though.
Moon/UC: .5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 1.5

3. Watch Ashley Greene’s sex tape when she inevitably makes one and live blog it… blow by blow… um, that’s what she said? Verdict = FAIL!

4. Meet Stephenie Meyer and not have her call the police on us Verdict = WIN x a gabillion!!!

We all know how this turned out… I think we can forget the rest and say 2010 was a huge WIN for LTT based on this alone!
Moon/UC: 1.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 2.5

5. Take it up a notch with our video skills & perhaps write a theme song for them. Verdict = WIN!

We did have “In the car with UC” but never did upload “Under the Loquat Tree with Moon” (which does exist… in my yard). We did have videos from our meeting with Stephenie (in our hotel room), from the premiere, getting interviewed on tv, video for VH1 that never aired, and some others…
Moon/UC: 2.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 2.5

tie ball game folks…..

6. Only see New Moon and Eclipse in the theater in numbers below the teens – This goes for Eclipse as well… When the popcorn guy knows you by name it’s time to seek help and a shock collar. Verdict = WIN!

I only saw Eclipse 1 and 3/4ths times in the theater and UC saw it twice! So we WIN!
Moon/UC: 3.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 2.5

Preparing for the fall out

7. Host a peace summit in Copenhagen between big name players in the Robsten vs Nonsten world and decide if we can all finally get along. Maybe if we come to an agreement we can sing we are the Rob together. Verdict = FAIL!

SO fail… we all know how that went down, UC got called a Nonsten devil, I was called everything under the sun, people were sued, people quit being friends, nasty things were said all over the interwebs. And nothing was resolved expect for Robsten vs Nonsten arguably being resposible for taking the fun out of the fandom. World peace may not actually be possible. If they stayed together or they broke up… it would just get uglier. So much so we may need to build a fall out shelter from the war that will ensue between the Krisbian suicide bombers and the Rob fans (they need a better name). We gotta be prepared and think ahead. In fact that’s the new fandom motto and we’re not talking tents and autograph books. We’re talking gas masks and bullet proof vests cause shit will get REAL REAL when that happens.

This resolution was SO fail, in  fact, NO ONE got  a win.
Moon/UC: 3.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 3.5

8. We promise to continue to be controversial. We started writing thus blog because we couldn’t’ believe the lameness of the fandom. We still can’t. So we’ll continue to call it as we see it by KIR, you know: Keeping it Real. Verdict = WIN!

Done and done!! We kept it so real everyone got called names not just us. Whew.
Moon/UC: 4.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 3.5

9. Meet Big Daddy Lautner. Tell him we love him more than the entire cast combined and would love to have a conversation over a Filet O Fish. Try not to act surprised when he has NO idea who we are. Verdict = FAIL!

WIN WIN WIN! This may have taken us till June to roll out and we may have been hacked by some losers in BFE and it may have it’s moments we want to strangle it and we may spend many Sunday mornings fixing it but it happened and we couldn’t be happier!

So let’s get on to our resolutions for 2011!

HAHAHA I love fan posters!!

1. Breaking Dawn Part 1 (and 2) RED CARPET! – Our next logical step would be to be ON the carpet officially. We need to be close enough to count Mike Welch’s nose hairs, to see if our gaydar is pinging correctly on a few people AND to offer a prayer of protection and success for Kellan. He’s appreciate a laying on of hands in the middle of the carpet. This is one of our last chances to make this happen. Come on cosmic justice of the universe, don’t fail us now!!!

2. Meet Big Daddy – We’re gonna carry this one over from last year because our blogging life really can’t be complete without meeting the man, the mystery, the legend behind Taylor Lautner. We promise to spring from the cannolli for dessert if we get to meet sir!

3. Make another appearance at this year’s Comic Con in San Diego. 2009 Comic Con was a blast: throwing elbows, seeing all the new footage from NEW MOON (wow, that was forever ago). With Breaking Dawn being filmed NOW you know there’s gonna be something good at this summer’s Comic Con and we aim to be there!

Your turn Moon!

4. Since UC got to meet and interview Jackson Rathbone and be bequeathed the most unfortunate name of: Superfan, Moon too must undergo the embarrassment of being called  Twilight Superfan in 2011 by interviewing Kellan Lutz or another 2nd tier cast member.

5. Host another LTT blow out shin dig during the premiere week of Breaking Dawn Part 1! Preferably with karaoke because “Back to December” will NEVER sound as good as it would at an LTT party after drinking Cougarita’s or Mr. Choice’s special concoction called “Bella’s Blood.”

6. Infiltrate the set of Breaking Dawn for some sort of exclusive access. If Summit or the paparazzi or the people of Baton Rouge won’t bring it to us, we’ll just have to go get it ourselves. Good thing our passports are current, just in case we need to be ready to roll with Summit/Stephenie/Bill Condon/Big Daddy/Kellan or whoever invites us for a visit.

THE bed

7. Go to Venice Beach, break into Cathi’s groovy beach pad and steal THE AUDITION TAPE so that we can finally put to rest her claims of their amazing chemistry for what it really is: 2 awkward young adults making out on an old ladies bed while she tapes it.

Ok, so do you think we can do these? Are we gonna full of WIN next December 2011 or are the people who want us to fail going to be rejoicing? Only time will tell.

Happy New Year!!!!
Moon and UC

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

BUSINESS TIME!
Oh- We don’t want to forget to tell you, starting January 3rd the Biggest Loser challenge on the Forum (renamed “Resolutionary Challenge 2011”) is kicking off: Make sure you join everyone if you’re looking for fun, encouragement & healthy living in 2011!!! Resolutionary Challenge 2011

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

33 Commented

LTT is much more than UC & Moon… err or Twilight, which is what it’s mostly about…

Dear LTTers,

I like writing random, rambling, long blog post titles that mess up your phone if you try to read the letter online or stretch the screen if you use a computer. It’s fun. Especially for Friday. It’s the little things, guys!

Anyway, in keeping with the celebratory tone of our 2 year anniversary, we wanted to share a few short letters we received this week as well as some pics I’ve been hanging on to for a time such as this- submissions by YOU ALL of you & your LTT merch!

Dear Letters to Twilight,

I met my LTT Cosmic Twin!

One fine day, I was cracking up reading the LTT comments when one commenter’s opinions kept catching my attention. We had sooo much in common… in only one day of comments: a love of Twilight, a hint of snark and humor, 3 year old daughters who didn’t sleep the night before, and the same name! (Not to mention a love of Somerhalder, Skarsgard and that cute, little chain smoking monkey-Mr. Robert Pattinson!) I ended up replying to her that I though she was my LTT doppleganger… and that’s how West Coast Stacey (snowwhitedrifted) met East Coast Stacey.

We ended up being pen pals, well email pals nowadays, ’cause who uses pens? Then twitter buds and we realized we were cosmic twins. We became each other’s enablers, writing fan fics as well as a co-authoring a bunch of letters to twilight posts… and now we have a blog to discuss all the juicy goodness of this ridiculous little world we have found. This downward spiral has been one heck of a ride and I’m so glad of it! Thank you, LTT, for the magicness!

-The Staceys
(snowwhitedrifted and East Coast Stacey)

This LTT girl takes a picture with someone familiar looking before heading to feed the alpacas with the snacks she keeps in her LTT girl bag.

UC and Moon, you have helped keep the Twi-love alive. Here’s a pic of me when I went to Port Angeles and Forks this past summer with two Twi-friends, repping LTT with my favorite tote bag ever. We made total fools of ourselves, spending the extra five bucks to stay in the Twilight room at the hotel, and sporting fake wolf pack tattoos for our trip to La Push. Cause that’s Normal.
-kitkat89

The following collection features some fangirling from: Twiwind Night – ICanHandleIt (proudly wearing jorts), VoteMeIn (wearing a Tweed Serious shirt and leg hitching) & EJ

And Cledbo reads printed out fan fiction, rocking her “Fade to Sad” shirt while wearing hot red heels. That’s Normal.

These girls look like they’re in a bar that happens to decorate itself in Twi-photos. Aka a DREAM bar. Or in reality they’re just Tweed Serious at one of their homes, but shhh- I like living in a fantasy world where a bar’s walls are decorated in Edward & Jacob & Rainier Beer is the only thing on tap

KandnandB rocks the I love British Boys book while wearing her “Big in Japan” t-shirt. Ya know, just a normal Friday night

They’re not Bears!!! It’s a muscled Jacob Doll, in a public space. (And a VERY brave girl!)

I’m bothered that snowwhitedrifted’s Bothered shirt is backwards in this picture:

And Obava travels to a far off land & brings her LTT shirt along- we’re so proud! So is her son. (He’s too young to be embarrassed yet!)

These pictures make me so happy! Nothing is more fulfilling than making a bad joke with your friend Moon over instant messenger one night, posting it on a blog the next morning, seeing people’s reaction to said bad joke & then seeing the joke ON a tshirt in a bar, in a foreign land, on a bad, feeding alpacas, embarrassing your families, etc. etc. etc!

Thanks to everyone who submitted pictures recently & so long ago! And I’m sorry if I didn’t put your fake name on here- I had the files saved with your real names & figured you didn’t want those shared. 🙂

And in case you missed my comment on Wednesday, I had a horrific day at work and after my 10.5 hour work day, 2 hours driving & when I finally hit the pillow and looked at all the comments on my phone that night, I was so overwhelmed with all your love! I appreciate each & every one of you! I’m being Tweed Serious.

xoxo,
UC

(PS: If you have something from the LTT/LTR store, send us a picture- we’ll feature it eventually!!! And if you don’t own anything- DUDE! Put it on your Christmas list! And snowwhitedrifted made some new designs we’ll be unveiling any day now :):) Wearing shirts about vampires & werewolves is normal: Buy some now!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

42 Commented