Friday Funnies! Chris Weitz likes the best videos. EVER!

Dear LTT-ers,

I don’t know about you all but today is a big day… it is Good Friday for those who celebrate and it is also the LA stop on the Railroad Revival Tour so I am busy celebrating, remembering, singing and eating Five Guys (the restaurant, pervs). BUUTTT I thought we should take a second to have a laugh courtesy of Chris Weitz and his Twitter. At some point (who knows when) he tweeted a link to his favorite funny Twilight video. It just happens to come from The Onion so you KNOW it’s gonna be gooood.

Sit back for a minute enjoy this and have a wonderful Holiday weekend.

Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation’s Capitol To Spare Life Of ‘Twilight’ Author

Worse than when Sam phased and slashed his beloved Emily in the face” and the terroist in a Twilight tshirt?! Someone’s a HIGH-larious fan at the Onion. It’s so much win that I can’t even quote all my favorite parts… It’s like they wire tapped a Twihard event, or just copied word for word Twibloggers posts from the nets.

Happy Holiday Weekend to Everyone! TGIF!
Themoonisdown

Source: The Onion

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It’s the small things – scenes in Twilight

(our lil UC is sicko so bear with me while I double post in her absence)

Dear Twilight movie franchise (yes, all of you),

The other night at the Iron & Wine concert I had a moment. I won’t even say I was a fan long before the song was in Twi but WHATEVER, I HAD A MOMENT. Sam Beam sang “Flightless Bird” mostly a capella as his encore and I’d be lying if I wasn’t mentally whisked away to that gazebo at the prom with Bella and Edward dancing under the twinkling lights. Of all the song and scene pairing I think that is by far the one I link together the most and really just one of my favorite scenes. And (of course) that got me to thinking what about my other favorite scenes. What will I smile and think about long after all the movies have been released and we’ve been put out to the blogging pasture?

I kinda think it’s gonna be more about the little moments to me… Bella’s feet on Edward’s feet in the prom scene or maybe…

After being confronted by a curious Bella about his eye color and wondering whether he got contacts, Edward awkardly mumbles and turns around to leave down the hallway. Way to totally draw attention to it dude! But then we wouldn’t have the arms holding the jacket or the BACK in that tshirt. Yes, this is a great moment.

Not in the book but definitely one of my faves little moments in Eclipse features Edward bro-ing up with Jacob after the kiss and Papa Swan having to step in.

From UC’s sick bed she tells me that this is one of her faves…

Jacob and Bella’s “it’s not a lifestyle choice” walk on First Beach at La Push. Jacob (Taylor) looks about 20 years older thus making us not feel so bad for crushing him as much as we do.

There are about a billion little moments in the Twilight movies that make me smile, make me laugh and make me sigh. Can’t it just be November already and the wait will be over so we can begin finding our new favorite little moments in Breaking Dawn? Ugh, the unfairness of it all.

Ohhh and before we go I have one more favorite little moment…… follow the cut

Continue…

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Twilosophy: Eclipse vs. New Moon

Dear Twilosophy class,

Remember Eclipse? That movie that came out in June? And then was re-released this weekend to “celebrate” Bella’s birthday- aka Summit was disappointed with their box office results because they expected to blow New Moon out of the water and they didn’t? Oh yeah….. That movie.

I’ve been thinking about Eclipse a lot lately. Well, since I heard about the re-released in theaters for Bella’s birthday. I considered going to see it again. By “considered” I mean I laid in bed with my phone right after reading the news in my email & thought, “Maybe I should go” before falling back to sleep, never considering it again.

There’s been some talk around town (aka this 1 blog I read) about why Breaking Dawn Part 1 and Part 2 are releasing a year apart. And I think it’s pretty obvious: There was a year between Twilight & New Moon. And New Moon kicked ASSSSSSSSSS money-wise. When Eclipse came out 7 months later? The opening weekend was down almost HALF (and kids were out of school!) and while it hasn’t been out as long as New Moon, it hasn’t grossed as much. And it probably should have grossed more seeing as the popularity of the saga has only grown. Not that $672,498,560 world-wide gross is a bad thing. I mean I’d take that if I had to.

But the lack of Eclipse “success” makes me feel either worse or better about what I’m about to confess.  I am part of the reason for Eclipse not doing as well as New Moon. Yes, dear LTT readers, I only saw Eclipse two times. I feel bad because because of me, they lost $42.00 ($10.50 x 4). My waist is happy because I consumed 2,520 less calories in the form of popcorn (630 x 4- that’s for real. for a SMALL. I looked it up. BLOG RESEARCH RULES!) But I also feel good because it wasn’t just me who saw Eclipse less. Obviously due to the smaller numbers, the fandom overall did too.

I got thinking about why I didn’t see Eclipse 4 times like I did Twilight and 6 times like I did New Moon. This is what I came up with:

My Kung Fu isn't as strong as I let you think...

Harry Clearwater’s Kung Fu really isn’t that strong

And what I mean is…. the jokes weren’t as funny. Sure, sure – that’s a good thing for Mel Mel Rosenburg who finally wrote a semi not 2nd-hand embarrassing script, but it’s a sad thing for my funny bone- and for yours. I mean- you know what I’m talking about. How many times can we make Mike Newton fat jokes & talk about Charlie Swan’s obvious new-found virginity? If I make one more crack about the eyebrows in this film I think someone might murder me.

There’s such a thing as too much Rob

GASP! I know! I said it. And I don’t really mean it. I could never have too much of that Motha Truckn’ Brit, but it is possible that the Twilight saga, the actors & the story were just too overexposed. Despite the fact that we HATE waiting for the next installment in our beloved story, maybe not waiting as long means we’re not as engaged. We went from New Moon filming to Remember Me filming to movies about Mullets & lesbians to Eclipse filming to NEW MOON then LET DOWN after New Moon then Bel Ami, whatever teen drama/chick flick Taylor filmed once or twice and then ANTICIPATION of Eclipse then finally, ECLIPSE!

The Leg Hitch really wasn’t that good

But when I re-read Eclipse & read that scene, it’s good once again. Why? Because in the book it’s the Bella & Edward of my mind- before I knew who the actors playing them were. And, well, if I’m honest, I’m Bella. And Edward is leg hitching ME. When I watch the scene in the movie, it’s so glaringly obvious that Rob Pattinson aka Edward Cullen is not Leg Hitching ME. Sadface.

You call this boring!?

The minute Tay-Tay turned 18, he got boring

It’s not funny to joke about Chris Hansen anymore- unless we talk about Boo-Boo Stewart and that’s just BLEH. I wish Taylor was forever 17! He was so much more interesting then. At least not be legally allowed to like him gave me a reason to try. And now that I could jump his bones all I want if I had a desire (bleh), I have no interest. So love triangle between Edward, Bella & Taylor Lautner? No thanks.

That’s all I can come up with. And I know I’m not alone. Moon is worse than me- she saw Eclipse 1 and 3/4 times (missed the first bit of her second showing!) and obviously someone else hasn’t seen Eclipse as much as they did New Moon since the box office numbers don’t lie. What is it!? Why is a movie that was so obviously better made, and not to mention my favorite book, so much less desirable than the others?

Andddd Discuss!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

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Open Weekend Post: Vampires Suck (or some people think)

The movie Vampires Suck opened this week & Luludee sent us a letter about it just in time!

Dear Twilight,

Imagine the sound effects for THIS bling!

Let me be the first to congratulate you! Or maybe I should be the first to say “Bummer dude.”

Either way, I think we can officially say that you’ve finally made it. No, you haven’t received any Academy Award nominations, nor have you received any “worst movie ever” nominations, at least not that I’m aware. No, something else altogether has happened. You’ve managed to garner enough attention, thanks to all your adoring fans, that civilians have finally taken notice of all the money to be made off of you of your greatness and decided to make you your very own spoof movie.

If this were a just world, Vampires Suck would be directed by Mel Brooks, or at least have the involvement of the Wayans Bros. or Anna Faris. Think of it, you could have gone down in history with the likes of Dracula, Frankenstein, Scream and even
Star Wars! But alas, we live in a world where aging drunken frat boys take care of their younger “brothers”, so unfortunately for
us, this gem comes from the defunct line of fill-in-the-blank [spoof] Movie.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

I dunno, I’m feeling a bit torn. I mean, let’s be real here. We all come to this blog daily to make fun of you. Hell, if we pooled all our talents, we could have written a smash spoof of you. But we would do it out of love. This movie was defs made by and for some resentful husbands. Are those random women in red bikinis supposed to be some kind of objectification lesson? Nice try guys.

 

Ladies (or Bella) you're in for a real teat, I mean treat!

My guess is that the trailer has the highlights of the movie. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t look funny at all. Admittedly, I chuckled at a few parts – the segway, and the wolfpack raining men in particular; and I saw a clip on tv (that I couldn’t find online) where Jacob sees a cat and chases it. When I did a Google Image Search of the movie, I happened upon a picture of Edward sparkling/blinging, and a half-man, half-wolf version of Jake and noticed that they even included extra nipples. I checked out the IMDB page and I cracked a smile at the change of ‘Cullen’ to ‘Sullen’. A Ken Jeong appearance almost gives me a glimmer of hope. And maybe it’s just me, but spoof-Jasper actually looks menacing at about 0:21. (Spoof-Alice looks scary at 0:14 but for completely different reasons….poor girl.)

And you thought Michael Sheen was scary...

Let’s look on the bright side. We all know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and it could be said that nothing marks
your presence in the annals of film history like your very own spoof movie. Just as Nirvana knew they’d hit the big time when Weird Al parodied “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, so too can you finally rest assured of your success.

Does this mean I will be seeing this movie?

I honestly don’t know. Maybe as a rental.

Don’t judge me.

Laughing at you but loving you just the same,
Luludee

P.S. Does Summit know about this? Will there be an epic Studio-Showdown over copyright infringement? If so, can you get me box seats?

So..!? What do you think? Will you see it? Have you seen it? I know one friend who has and she said it was pretty funny. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna see it because of this and this alone:

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Where are they now? All our old favorites edition!

Dear LTT-ers,

Anytime I hear Lady Gaga’s song “Pokerface” I inevitably think of AmanDUH and I get sad. She was a legend in her own time and then deleted her YouTube account before we barely knew her. Well we KNEW her kitchen and her hallway with the bed sheet strung up and we DEFINITELY knew her “special” husband she made dress us as Edward in their backyard but we didn’t get to see her mature into her artistry. And that got me thinking about all our other old Twilight favorites that we loved and talked about so much… what are they doing now? Are they happy? Do they think back on us and Twilight with fond memories?

So I decided to do a little research and see what our old pals are up to.

How I’ll always think of Michael

Oregano – Michael Angarano will ALWAYS be the Young William in Almost Famous and for that I will always love him and I truly have high hopes that he will or maybe has escaped the Kristen/Robsten nonsense he was aparty too. I heard some rumors of him and Emma Roberts being an item and that would account for the frosty exchange between Rob and Emma on Leno but I don’t care enough to research this. So I’ll take the easy route… from the looks of IMDB he is busy like a bee, but not too much to pace in front of my favorite coffee shop a few weeks ago. My friends had to restrain me from asking what REALLY happened and what Cathi is REALLY like and if Nikki was REALLY involved in the whole final breakdown and if he can get me Patrick Fugit, Zooey Deschanel and Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s numbers.

Catherine Hardwicke – Besides being asked to make appearances at all TGIFriday’s grand openings in the continental US because she’s such a huge supporter of the chain restaurant our dear Jamaican vacation loving cougar is directing movies again! With Billy Burke as a character in her new period piece movie, Red Ridinghood, I wonder if she’ll make him grow a killer pornstache or walk around with a sword in one hand and a can of Vitamin R in the other. Whatever it is we know she’s already got the Lukas Haas/Amanda Seyfried audition tape from her groovy bedroom in Venice Beach on LOCKDOWN.

Sage – Formerly of super group Sage and the Dills. Ok, maybe not super group. But according to Nikki Reed herself she directed Sage’s video for a song which I’m sure I don’t care about but features Nikki’s “friend” Johnny Flynn. Why, Johnny WHY?!

AmanDUH – Oh Amanduh… where for art thou AmandUH?! You made us love you with your renditions of songs from the Twilight soundtrack, your dramatic reading of chapters from Twilight and who can forget the music video you did with your special Husband? We miss you! Where did you go? I did some light googling and found our girl is STILL at it only she runs her own fansite… HER own fansite the Amadah fansite and has like 5 youtube accounts. And I’m sad to report I think she may have left “Special Edward” and the kids in that apartment, changed her name and is now a porn star with a guido looking boyfriend. Maybe. These are my conclusions after my google research.

(if someone can figure out wtf that black line over her lip is, I’ll give you an award)
She’s also decided to honor The Runaways and obviously Kristen’s portrayal of Joan Jett with this stunning hair and makeup job. Though NOT a mullet (amateur!) she does have the pleather painted on! ALL HAIL AMANDUH! She’s back… or at least until she finds out I embedded her video here.

All my fave DILF moments, minus the orange pants

Chris Weitz – The man, the DILF, the legend. He made it alright for us to hope for something better than the Twilight movie. Under his careful guidance and sexy scarves we dared to hope for better FX, better wigs and NO spider monkeys. We got 2 of the 3. And we’re forever grateful. Chris paved the way for David Slade to take the reins and OWN Eclipse HARD. We can now only cross our fingers for Bill Condon’s vision for Breaking Dawn and thank Chris Weitz for paving the way. But what is our ol lover up to these days? He famously said he was going to retire after he finished “The Gardener” but by the looks of his IMDB he’s looking sexy as hale AND he’s linked to FOUR new projects that are “in development.” One of these is officially the best movie ever based on it’s title: “Another Bullshit Night in Suck City.” Whatever Chris Weitz ends up doing I’ll always want to give him a hug for making New Moon.

Where will the Bananager and David Slade and Xaiver Samuel end up and all our other latest favorites? Do we think anyone will end up on a future season of Celebrity Rehab? Here’s hoping not unless they have Rehab for an addiction to chain restaurant Italian food. Ahem.

Off to watch a billion AmanDUH  videos!
Themoonisdown

Who do you miss or wonder what ever happen to them? What happened to Buttcrack Santa? Has anyone ever actually been to Sage show?

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