It’s the freakin’ weekend, I’m about to have me some fun!

(name that lyric!)

Dear LTT-ers,

This is a weekend post! Don’t act so surprised!! Anyway just something fun to watch and something to get you ready for your holiday shopping!

Our friends over at The Hillywood Show are at it again! I know we all remember the epicness of their Twilight and New Moon parodies. I know I can’t ever hear “Hot and Cold” by Katy Perry without thinking of Twilight now. This week they released their Eclipse parody and it’s AHMAZING!!! The premiere dress, the Harpars Bazaar cover shoot, all of it! Watch and get ready for a great weekend!

Haven’t seen their other videos for Twi and NM? Where have you been? Check em out at their YouTube channel!

Fun Business Time!
It’s the weekend before Black Friday!! Are you ready to get your shop on? Cause we are! It’s the Friends & Family sale at Cafe Press this weekend, meaning you can save $10 on orders of $50+ (use code: Friend10) from November 20-23. Have an LTT/LTR friend you’ve made and wanna share the love? Or maybe your desk just really needs that Fake Lesbians coffee mug sitting on it to stir up controversy at work… this is the weekend to do it! Get your shop on at the LTT/LTR Cafe Press Store NOW!

And don’t forget the killer Groupon from Nordstrom Rack! Do you love shopping the Rack’s shoe collection as much as I do? Well this is your deal…

Half off yall!!!

Have a good one and cross your fingers for new BD stuff next week!
Themoonisdown

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Open Weekend Post: Vampires Suck (or some people think)

The movie Vampires Suck opened this week & Luludee sent us a letter about it just in time!

Dear Twilight,

Imagine the sound effects for THIS bling!

Let me be the first to congratulate you! Or maybe I should be the first to say “Bummer dude.”

Either way, I think we can officially say that you’ve finally made it. No, you haven’t received any Academy Award nominations, nor have you received any “worst movie ever” nominations, at least not that I’m aware. No, something else altogether has happened. You’ve managed to garner enough attention, thanks to all your adoring fans, that civilians have finally taken notice of all the money to be made off of you of your greatness and decided to make you your very own spoof movie.

If this were a just world, Vampires Suck would be directed by Mel Brooks, or at least have the involvement of the Wayans Bros. or Anna Faris. Think of it, you could have gone down in history with the likes of Dracula, Frankenstein, Scream and even
Star Wars! But alas, we live in a world where aging drunken frat boys take care of their younger “brothers”, so unfortunately for
us, this gem comes from the defunct line of fill-in-the-blank [spoof] Movie.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

I dunno, I’m feeling a bit torn. I mean, let’s be real here. We all come to this blog daily to make fun of you. Hell, if we pooled all our talents, we could have written a smash spoof of you. But we would do it out of love. This movie was defs made by and for some resentful husbands. Are those random women in red bikinis supposed to be some kind of objectification lesson? Nice try guys.

 

Ladies (or Bella) you're in for a real teat, I mean treat!

My guess is that the trailer has the highlights of the movie. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t look funny at all. Admittedly, I chuckled at a few parts – the segway, and the wolfpack raining men in particular; and I saw a clip on tv (that I couldn’t find online) where Jacob sees a cat and chases it. When I did a Google Image Search of the movie, I happened upon a picture of Edward sparkling/blinging, and a half-man, half-wolf version of Jake and noticed that they even included extra nipples. I checked out the IMDB page and I cracked a smile at the change of ‘Cullen’ to ‘Sullen’. A Ken Jeong appearance almost gives me a glimmer of hope. And maybe it’s just me, but spoof-Jasper actually looks menacing at about 0:21. (Spoof-Alice looks scary at 0:14 but for completely different reasons….poor girl.)

And you thought Michael Sheen was scary...

Let’s look on the bright side. We all know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and it could be said that nothing marks
your presence in the annals of film history like your very own spoof movie. Just as Nirvana knew they’d hit the big time when Weird Al parodied “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, so too can you finally rest assured of your success.

Does this mean I will be seeing this movie?

I honestly don’t know. Maybe as a rental.

Don’t judge me.

Laughing at you but loving you just the same,
Luludee

P.S. Does Summit know about this? Will there be an epic Studio-Showdown over copyright infringement? If so, can you get me box seats?

So..!? What do you think? Will you see it? Have you seen it? I know one friend who has and she said it was pretty funny. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna see it because of this and this alone:

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

58 Commented

Open Post: Love Letter to Jackson Rathbone, her new #1!

(Oh Jackson you’re always getting the love even when we dog you! Lieutenant Twilight writes you a letter today while we’ve Gone Fishin’. Tuck it between your banjo-lin and the trimmings from your catfish facial hair to read when times are tough. xo, moon)

Ladies Love Cool J

Dear Jackson,

I love you!

Whew… Glad I got that out of the way.  You see, most people in the twi-fandom have been cast under some sort of spell by Rob.  I never was.  I never understood the draw, ok well I UNDERSTAND it, I just remain unaffected.  You see, for about 11 years I have always had the same #1 celeb crush.  That’s dedication my friend.  And now, you’ve won me over and… well you’re my #1! I don’t know when it happened and I don’t know how I am supposed to let HIM know.  I mean, he’s been there from my tween years! However, after staring at you and hearing what you’d like to dress up as, I at least know WHY it happened!  You see the previous winner of my top 3 was the Johnny Depp.  I was committed to his sexiness from a very early age and continued on until I was introduced to you.

Ranks higher than Johnny Depp?!

You have similar features and want to dress up like characters he has already played.  You play “music” and have terrible tattoos.  It’s like you’re a younger version of him, only you have something that appeals to me more, and that is your awkward sense of humor and outgoing personality.  Unlike my Mr. Depp, who is shy and reserved.  Therefore, you’ve become my #1 man.  My list now reads #1 Jackson Rathbone, #2 Johnny Depp, and #3 Scarlett Johansson (nope, not a lez, but ScarJo is too pretty for me to deny my crush).  So lately I’ve been trying to scheme my way into meeting you and getting in your pants…  I’ve considered a 100 Monkeys show, but alas there are none in driving distance.  I’ve thought briefly about flying to LA to go to a show, but then my conscience kicked in and said that was too extreme.  But is it? I mean I could meet you and never really fall in love or give special hugs because I have a fantastic husband who actually owns a Stetson and Spurs (cuz he really is in the Cavalry! I know… I’m a lucky girl!!)  So I shall continue to swoon over you from a distance and die a little inside if ever you should develop an actual relationship with someone.   Because you have overcome Johnny Depp on my list and he was a multiple winner of “Sexiest Man Alive” and maintained a #1 position in my heart for 11 years!  I hope beyond hope that you can do the same!

Playing Dress up with my husband,
Lieutenant.Twilight

DUDE a hat AND spurs… forget Jackson let’s see pics of Lt. Twilight’s hubs! So what is it about Jackson? Besides Rob Jacky gets the next highest number of letters in our inbox…higher than Taylor even. Whats up with that? Is it the side talking? The weird band? Is it because I love to call him Jacky?

Today is the day- Moon returns home!! I am SO ready! I only wish I could give her a big hug. We’ll talk to you Monday- ready to jump back INTO it!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

43 Commented

Open Post: BrookeLockart gets on the red carpet

For this week’s Open Post, we remember back to when that movie about vampires came out in June. Remember the one? Remember all the stuff that happened during the month of June for LTT & our friends? Well, we didn’t even get to all the stories yet! @Brookelockart got ON the red carpet & she regales her story with glee for us this weekend!

Dear LTTers,

Once upon a time, a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, girl (me, duh) traveled across the country to the mean streets of L.A., on no sleep to venture to her first movie premiere ever! Not buying the innocent Brooke? Yeah, okay – I was freaking ecstatic about getting into the Eclipse premiere. I mean when @Lolashoes told me she came across tickets and asked me to go, I think that all brain functioning stopped.  I suddenly yelled out a, “SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!” in response to the amazing news. After Lola stopped laughing at my hokey outburst, we decided on our plans: I would meet @tby789 at the airport then go and pick up Lola and @wearingwords on our way to LA.

The Last Minute Twitter Fashion Show where I still hide my face

I stressed over what to wear to LA and gave my twitter following a mini fashion show to help me pick an outfit out. I mean really… what does one wear?

Sweet and innocent: Red Top and Polka dot skirt

All dressed up with somewhere to go! H&M party dress

Simple and breezy: The Loft silver/gray dress for elegance

Party Animal!: NY&CO Animal print

I’m not a lucky biatch like Moon is who has a different premiere to attend every month. These decisions were hard! I mean, what if I did run into Rob in the rest room… I mean lobby of the theatre? MUST look my best!

California Girls!

Fast forward to LA. We quickly (and by quickly, I mean that I changed my outfit 4 times) got ready at a nearby hotel, and we strutted our stuff over to LA Live. While the other ladies went to wait in the will call line, I called over to Moon to find out where she was hiding…

Can you spot Moon? Hint: She’s wearing pink

There was no way I could get to Moon in the stands, so I found my other #leghitch2010 ladies chilling at the ESPN zone where they had a clutch spot to see all the action.

Let me just tell you that I had no idea what to expect and there was no way I could have even imagined the insanity. Fans screaming, offering their first born, yelling for the stars’ attention while the MC of the event spoke like he just rolled in from East Compton. It was around the time that Tia and Tamara Mowry (Yeah, I watched Sister Sister, too!) rolled up when I got the call from Lola to haul ass over to will call because they were being ushered in.

Read the rest after the jump!

F*cking Amazing Luck for Lola and Me

I finally find Lola after power walking around the Nokia Theatre in 4.5 inch heels, where she’s waiting for me and a friend of a friend (let’s call him Bill) who’s coming by to make sure everything was okay with our tickets. Apparently while I was off with my LTT girls, there were issues finding the tickets. Bill finds Lola and me and offers to take us out to the red carpet. I’m sweaty, my hair is frizzing and starting to recurl, but THIS East Coaster was NOT going to miss out on this opportunity. Lola and I look at each other with wide eyes and give a resounding YES! Sadly for our friends, they had already gone in the theatre so we did what any modern ladies do: text them what’s happening and say we wished they were here too! We really did miss you @tby789 and @wearingwords!

Drunk on the Red Carpet

There we are, on the Red Capet – well the area next to the red carpet – and we’re drunk. There were a few drinks to be had while getting ready for the event and maybe a chocolate cake shot with @obird to celebrate #leghitch2010. So imagine how surreal being on a red carpet can feel… now imagine that a bit tipsy. YEAH!

There was no way I was letting this opportunity pass us by… I went into full East Coast mode: AGGRESSIVE. I politely loudly called over several stars, spoke to some and got photos with others… Just one little problem.. my cell and camera were about to die. Please, do not let this EVER happen to you because my cell and camera did eventually conk out, right around the time Kristen hit the red carpet. Sigh.

No fan girling here…

The first celeb that I inner fangirled over was Daniel Cudmore. My exact words to Lola were, “I think that I just want to rub my body against him” He is QUITE hot and manly in person. I was in LUST.

The celebrities flowed; I spoke to Anna and drunkenly told her she owns every scene she’s in. Really meant to say she steals every scene she’s in, but hey… close enough.

Got pictures with Peter (o hai Dr. Cullen), who was basically being groped by his wife as he walked around the red carpet (Jennie looked really pretty though).

Made eye contact with Mr. Copstache himself who sadly was sans stache. No matter, he was still looking fine and we got a fantastic photo with him.

And then I spotted Stephenie. I made it my mission to get her to come over and take a picture. I called her name a gazillion times and then called her assistant’s name, hoping that it was her assistant. After making a fool of myself for a good 10 minutes, Stephenie came over and took a picture with Lola and me (yes, the picture is full of irony)… I turned thanked her and then did what anyone does… I name dropped! Told her I was good friends with UC and we chatted about LTT. Stephenie gave me the tidbit about the Jorts making it into the commentary and babbled on…wondered if she knew I was the one that wrote the letter about Bree and asked her if she wouldn’t mind taking another picture with just me. FYI – I rule at the self-portrait.

(See Stephenie, LTT gives me laugh lines too)

Stephenie started talking to some other fans nearby and someone asked where she got her necklace. When she responded Anthropologie, my drunk ass decided to interject, “You know, Anthro’s headquarters are in Philly… you should come visit me and UC!” GAH, OMG, so embarrassing. Yes, I invited the queen of Twi universe to come chill with UC and me. *facepalm* At that point I just had to let her walk away. You are all welcome to be second-hand embarrassed for me because I’m certainly embarrassed for myself. (BTW Steph, that invite is still open)

We saw more celebs and Olympians. I loudly called them over and got some great pics. I saw Rob and Kristen fly by with their entourages. I loudly called them over too, but I was drowned out from the apparently team Jacob crowd fangirling so loudly that I couldn’t hear myself think. I never realized how many 15 year old girls somehow get onto the red carpet.

I get really really sappy

It was the experience of a lifetime! There are so many little funny stories that happened on the red carpet or in the theatre, but apparently I cannot tell this as a short story (sorry for the long read). Yes, I got to see Rob and Kristen, got pictures with Kellan, Peter and Billy, fell in lust with Daniel Cudmore, but it truly meant the most to me to meet Stephenie. Without her, there’d be no #leghitch2010, no friendship with Lola and no LTT girls. It’s been a rough couple years and that week in LA with my LTT besties was EXACTLY what I needed.

With much love and much embarrassment,

Brooke

Aww! Don’t be embarrassed Brookie! We’ve all been there & done that drunkenly around Peter, Billy Burke, Anna, Rob, Kristen & Stephenie before! Oh wait….. never mind….

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41 Commented

Open weekend post: Hosted by the unscripted Twilight actors

Dear Twilight actors,

Once Breaking Dawns 1&2 are out and a few years have passed and Summit re-releases the DVD’s into some huge boxed set can we get some extra special features. One I pray for is the outtake from when Rob pulled his groin trying to lift Kristen off the ground in Twilight and how about you make a few others up like a special featurette on Rob’s American accent couch teaching him how to say “Nachos” and “sidewalk.” Can it come with extras like a ziplock baggy of air captured in Catherine Hardwicke’s bedroom where the audition took place and how about have Kellan write an Emmett fanfic since he seems to have really thought about the backstory for Emmett that we know NOTHING about. And then as the extra extra special feature release the tapes of the Volturi doing their scenes nude. We all know Jamie Campbell Bower was telling the truth when he said they were nude for New Moon.

Stop lying and give us what we want! I’ll be more willing to fork out a couple hundred bucks in 5 years for the DVD’s I already own if these are the special features. Think about it!

Nachos!
Themoonisdown

What special features do you want on a box set of the Twilight saga?

HELP UC OUT WITH A SPECIAL FEATURE WHILE MOON IS AWAY! (Yes I just yelled!)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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