Breaking it Down: Meeting the Meyer, special hugs and SLOW CLAPS!

Dear LTT-ers,

Up until now it’s all seemed like a a dream. We really didn’t meet Stephenie and she really didn’t answer our questions, and we’ve just imagined all of this… but I think it’s now finally starting to sink in. At least now we’re starting to remember more and more of what happened. We even started breaking down some of the questions we asked Stephenie last Thursday and her answers (FINALLY!)…

Pretty much exactly what I looked like

Slow Clap or The Fraser Clap?
UC: I keep thinking of things that happened on Friday and then wondering if I’m making them up because or if it was for real. Like… when she told us she reads LTT every day- was that in a hushed tone like she was telling us a secret (or she was embarrassed) or does everything sound hushed when you’re so beet red after a Best-selling author tells you SHE reads what YOU write?
Moon: i dont know, i couldnt hear anything after i totally embarrassed myself with my semi-tard/brenden fraser clap (REMIX!) when she said she read us every day. i was 2nd embarrassed for myself
UC: you clapped? did you give us a slow clap & I missed it?
Moon: i did some sort of weird hand clap, grab i remember
UC: haha… i’m picturing you like Lumiere from Beauty & the Beast, how he shakes hands from side to side.
Moon: yea maybe i stood up (higher) and gave us a slow clap… then slowly everyone else got up and clapped because if we learned anything from the 80s, you cant resist a slow clap!
UC: right- no one knew what happened. It didn’t matter. When a slow clap starts, you don’t question- you just join in
Moon: you slowly stand and stop eating your muffin (twss) and you clap

*Begins Slow Clap*

UC: OR maybe it was  like Michael sheen when he claps his hands together when he says “Ah Beller is alive and well”
Moon: i defs quoted that when we talked about what a rockstar micheal sheen was
UC: haha… Beller is alive & well, Stephenie Meyer reads LTT *Slow Clap*
Moon: and then someone got their head and arms ripped off but i blocked that out. i went and got a slice of melon and a piece of bacon instead.
UC: there was BACON? were we at the same event?
Moon: you have to bring a sacrifice to lay at her feet when you meet. it’s just the rules
UC: i have no recollection of you sitting next to me eating a disgusting pig
Moon: yes there was bacon!!
a YUMMY pig
UC: oh dang- I vaguely remember an omelet bar too
Moon: bacon is a “gift from the gods” like jacob in new moon! TWI NERD QUOTE OF THE DAY! WINNER!
UC: but my 1/2 a strawberry seemed much more appetizing. Dude I’m a VEGETARIAN like the Cullens. That’s nasty
Moon: if thats the case im hanging out with the bad vamps!
UC: You get Bree & Fred.
Moon: ef that vegetarian nonsense. BACON is where it’s at
UC: I’ll take Edward
Moon: AND they have riley aka xaiver

Yea, we want to special hug him too

The one where Stephenie might want to special hug Xavier
UC: oh yes- let’s discuss that… how Stephenie is a major fan of Xavier and his hotness
Moon: duuuuude arent we all?! but she seemed like a special fan… who wants to give him special hugs… get in line BIOTCH!
UC: right- I’d say there was a special place in her heart for Xavier
Moon: she talked about his casting tape right?? and how she gave killing off riley a 2nd thought after seeing xavier
UC: I saw it in her eyes- I mean. I saw it bounced off your hair, which was in my view of her eyes MAD FACE yes- I think so. I have no idea. Did we make that up? Did this interview actually happen?
Moon: hey we’re besties, we gotta sit next to each other. I can’t help it if Stephenie Meyer wants to sit next to me at brunch!
UC: she said he sent in an audition tape to the casting lady and she nEVER looks at videos through the way Xavier sent it through- but she did… ? Therefore, I’m pretty sure Stephenie was hinting that everyone who is anyone should bombard the casting agent with videos- guaranteed placement

Forgive us Stephenie, we have sinned... impure thoughts... about Edward Cullen (your new wallpaper!)

The one where we get all Biblical
Moon: so anyhoo because we were fashionably (read: frantically trying to find the room) late there were only 2 seats left and where were those?!
UC: and I, being the lovelier of the two, let you sit next to Stephenie. I took one for the team (mostly I’m just gonna use this for when we meet Rob. I’m on his lap, bitch)
Moon: please bitch i raced around to get that one
UC: i know.. you shoved me pretty hard. i have a big bruise
Moon: the elbow to your throat knocked you out for a few minutes but you came back around when i pulled out the Rob smelling salts (GQ pictures I keep handy just got moments like this) BUT can we just talk about how we sat at the RIGHT hand of stephenie. it’s biblical
UC: SO Biblical!
Moon: the right hand of the father or mother superior as it were we’re freaking John!
Moon: i wont guess which one of the fansites was judas 😉

Follow the cut for our EPIC first question!
Continue…

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That Bree book

Read me.. Or else I'll turn creepier

Dear Stephenie,

I feel really weird writing you about That Bree book since I’m going to be talking to you about it in person next week (AH) By the way, did you just hear that? That was the sound of thousands of LTT readers remembering “That Bree book” came out this weekend. Pretend you didn’t hear that and that all of them were at their favorite book store at the butt crack of dawn Saturday morning.

Anyway, my overall observation about That Bree book (I’ll be honest, I have no idea what the real title is and I totally don’t feel like looking it up at this current moment) is that all fans of Twilight should read it. When talking to a friend who hasn’t read it, she said:

Friend: UC, I’m not one of your blog readers, so don’t be diplomatic with me. Should I really read it?

to which I responded

UC: Yes! I mean it. You’re a Twilight fan & it’s an entertaining read. Do it.

I’m not getting paid to say that. Unless you plan to hand me a check when I see you next week (AH). By the way, when I told my dad aka boss that I was skipping town for 2 days just one week before leaving for a week to go to LA for Eclipse craziness he said, “Well, honey, that sounds like a great opportunity. Are they paying you?” To which I laughed. I mean, hello?!! I’d pay YOU to interview you (wait- maybe not. Don’t take me seriously and ask for a check when I see you next week (AH)) So I politely said, “No- the opportunity to meet a hero is enough payment.” And he responded, “You should call them back & say you’ll only do that if they give you $100,000.” He was serious.

Sigh.. remember when I wasn't a vampire and was just a regular, boring girl?

Anyway, your fans SHOULD read That Bree book because it’s great to read something new from you after such a long time. Plus it’s an easy read. I blew through it in 2 sittings- took me 3 hours tops. Not to mention the introduction you include is just win. It really made me excited to meet you. Like, you actually care still. And that’s super refreshing after the rumors & gossip we’ve heard surrounding Eclipse. We thought Kristen was the only one left who cared so much.

Without giving anything away (though there’s not much to give away- Bree dies, guys) here are some of my thoughts on the book.

• It feels so young. Maybe that’s your ability to be in the shoes of a 15 year old & think and write as she would, but Twilight never felt this young. In fact it wasn’t until I was done the saga that I even knew it was a Young Adult series. (Finding the books on the shelf next to The Goosebumps Series wasn’t a dead giveaway to me, apparently) Or maybe it’s the lack of Edward as that character we want so badly we don’t care if an 8 year old made him up.

• Diego, a vampire friendly with Bree, who prefers the flavor of the humans living south of the border (that is, until he comes across Tequila Tomas in Forks) said “Let’s DO THIS” on page 56! Was that borrowed from Mel Mel Rosenberg? Or was that a shout out to us LTTers? Either way, High-five for that brilliant line!

• Once, somewhere on a page I forgot to save, you said “organism.” It took me 3 reads through the sentence before I realized Bree was not, in fact, having an orgasm. Did you put that in there to remind us that we’ve been reading too much fanfic in your writing absence?

• Um, Fred? Really? A vampire named Fred? And then there’s Diego!? Who are THEY named after? Did you and Nacho get a fight one night & to get back at him you named him after your first two boyfriends at BYU? Were all the good vampire names taken? PLUS the characters were teenage runaways in their human days. Last time I was on the streets and a Philadelphia flash mob passed me by, I didn’t hear any 16 year olds yelling for “Fred” to come help them snatch a pocket book from a Granny. Just sayin.’ “Spencer” may have been a better choice for the American while “Jose” is always a safe spanish choice.

• 

  Hey! I'm Ed- I mean Fred

  Gah- I miss the Cullens. There I was, just enjoying a little story about a vampire I forgot existed and BAM- suddenly the Cullens appear! I must’ve had the biggest, goofiest smile on my face. The gang was all back together again! There was Carlisle, Alice, Jasper with all his scars and the Red Head- wait what? The RED HEAD? I know that Edward is described as having reddish-brown hair by Bella, but Bree kept calling Edward THE RED HEAD. I didn’t know who she meant until the ending when Bree thought,

  “Little did the Cullens know, I had a vampire super power of my own. I knew the future- the WHOLE future- even more than Alice. If they had saved me from the Volturi, I can promise you I would’ve helped Alice pack Bella’s & the RED HEAD’s honeymoon bags- and I would’ve thrown in PLENTY of condoms with hand-drawn instructions from Carlisle. But, oh well, they killed me.”

  Okay that didn’t happen, but it wasn’t until Edward spoke to Bella that I realized it was him. I know we all have our own picture of Edward in our minds (Rob) plus my first kiss, first boyfriend and first (and only) husband were all red-heads, but Edward? Described as a RED HEAD? I felt that description was more fitting for a vampire named Fred…

So… do I buy the whole “I’ve been thinking about Bree’s story ever since I wrote Eclipse & wanted to share it with all my devoted fans” story? No (but most people will, don’t worry!) And I still maintain that you were pressured by your publishing company to put out something new. Not to mention your friends must be nagging you ever other day to finish something about their favorite characters- I don’t blame you wanting to get them ALL off your back. And for the devoted Twilight fan, That Bree Story is a quick, easy fun read that will make any true fan crack a big ol’ Cullen Smile once the Cullens appear! I’ll admit- I kinda wish you hadn’t killed off Bree too. It would’ve been intresting to see her adapt to the vegetarian lifestyle. Not to mention maybe she could have tracked down her friend “Fred” and we’d have an excuse to make a lot of “Fredward” jokes.

R.I.P. Bree,
UnintendedChoice

Haven’t read the book yet but my enthralling review really makes you want to get to know “Fred?” You can read it online here!

After the jump, answer some questions to see where we all stand with Bree! Continue…

160 Commented