This is how you found us: Vol. 7

R-E-E-C-E-W-I-T-H-E-R-S-P-O-O-N-S-U-C-K-S

Dear Twilight,

Mr. Choice asked me this weekend when I’m going to “Quit Blogging about Twilight” (He’s been asking me since December 9th, 2008- the day after we started) and tried to tell me “No one cares about it anymore.” Because he’s a logical SOB I have to “prove” things to him- words mean nothing. So I hopped on our stats to say – SEE- People DO still care!! And while I was looking at the stats I thought to myself, “Huh… people really do still care!” Even though comments have waned over recent months, about the same amount of people visit LTT every day. It’s crazy. Maybe we don’t have time to comment, but people still need their Twi fix!

But while I was looking at the stats I remembered it’s been SO LONG since we’ve visited This is how you found us (over a year!) so without further ado, in the last 30 days, THIS is what you googled to find LTT:

• Twilight sex fan art I googled this myself to see what delight you came across on LTT when your pervy self searched for this.. what I found was a You Tube Video (that we never posted!) entitled: “Twilight sex pictures cartoon lesbian sex videos sexy army guys free bbw sex movies boob girl” Which was…. all of the above minus anything to do with Twilight! (yep. Watched it. Sue me. It was for “work”) I also found this image which we have never posted but it seems like something we should post. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t hope to see a picture of Rob & Kirsten photoshopped into some sexual pose.

• Vagina 27 People found us by searching for “vagina.” Our parents should be so proud, Moon.
• Hairy Penis Scratch that. The 22 people who found us by googling this should make them prouder (REALLY?? REALLY PEOPLE??? You Searched for THAT and came HERE?)
• liberator sex chair Imagine HOW disappointed some horny dude or housewife was (I say housewife very lovingly as one of my very favorite housewives owns her very own liberator. Ahem) when they came across this post on OUR site (<— read it. it’s a good one!) instead of a place to buy the liberator sex chair. OR… imagine the disappointment of the horny housewife when she opens the box after finally finding the right site & realizing it doesn’t actually come imprinted (!) with the Cullen Crest
• hairy man 150 people searched for “hairy man” in the past 30 days and found US. In attempts to find out WHAT on LTT could have possibly been of interest to 150 people, I added “Letterstotwilight” into my search. Here is a collage of some of the amazing pictures that appear when you search for “hairy man letterstotwilight”
  

  Clicky to enjoy in full!

  (Yes, I, UC- non-hairy man although I did decide yesterday I think my arms are hairier than the average female- stars in TWO of those pictures!)

• letterstoronb Even 30 Googlers last month made a mistake we’ve all done on MANY occasions. They found us by Googling: letters to ronb! Is it Rob? Is it Ron? Who cares! You can find us by just mushing the two words together!
• natteringyeahrobber Yes. Sometimes we Drunk-google too like the 50 of you who looked for this last month
• kellan lutz gay rumors You have come to the right place! We LOVE discussing those!
  
• is david slade gay Another good question (Answer: Yes)
• sometimes i pretend to be normal SAD!!! 8 people found us this way last month! While I like to think they had a laugh when they came across LTT & discovering all of us normal people, I also think they were probably looking for some actually real-life help.
• Taylor Lautner Fanfiction HA! The fact that that brought someone to LTT blows my mind. Just because… I haven’t confessed to you all yet that I’m addicted to Taylor Lautner Real-life fan fic! There’s this one I found where you can tell them your name & they’ll send you the fix with YOUR NAME as the female heroine! And since he’s over 18 and all, Chris Hansen can’t even come NEAR me…It’s awesssomeeeee. (that was all a lie. Yuck. I think I know you all enough to know that real-life Taylor Lautner FAN FIC is not discussed here! I HOPE!)

Moral of the story: Not only are people still coming to & finding LTT but they are still googling inappropriate things that have NOTHING to do with Twilight or LTT & yet finding us anyway. Of course. As always. That’s Normal! So THERE, Mr. Choice! I told you!

Going to google new pictures of Ronb,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

104 Commented

This is how you found us Vol. 5

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and LTR-ers,

It’s been a while since we’ve had a “This is how you found us” post. Though I think after this last week, we just may know how a bunch of you found us, and WELCOME! But mostly people’s searches are getting to be a lot more boring, just the same ol Rob, Kristen, Jackson, Taylor and Kristen’s pregnant like a millions times. Come on, show us your creativity! But we’ve managed to pull together another stellar round of crazy searches for June and July!

For the uninitiated, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And thus this reoccurring blog post was born!

So here we go again…

• 

  Kristen i’m pregnant – Seriously, Kristen we don’t believe it. Stop trying to spread this rumor!

• Oil painting in film ‘twilight’ – Dear god please tell me you’re not trying to create a Twilight oil painting… we have enough stuff in the Twilight Museum of crap Art!

• Insane Twilight tattoos – oh you mean the back piece I got inked of the Forks, WA topographical map?

• Taylor Lautner in his underwear – Stop trying to fool us Chris Hanson, we’re on to you and we’ve already surrendered!

• Win a day with Rob Pattinson – This whirlwind day of romance includes lunch at a vending machine, a 1 minute conversation about cheetos, 4 hours reading in silence at a Borders and culminates with him waving as you get into a cab at 6:20PM. ENTER HERE!!Follow the cut for more good times and crazy googles! Continue…

61 Commented

This is how you found us? Vol. 4

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR’ers and googlers-

My how time flies! It’s already June and we missed one of our favorite reoccuring posts: “This is how you found us?!” in May. For those of us just joining in on the fun, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And May did NOT dissappoint, seriously these are some of the best we’ve seen. So without further adieu… This Is How You Found Us??!!

Where robert pattinson hangs out – You want to know my address? Or the 24hr taco joint down the street from his hotel?

Twlight edward eyes pillow case – It’s creepy trust me, but also totally awesome to scare your visiting co-blogger with when they wake up!

The Tuck Pattinson – is this Rob’s new nickname? Forget spunk ransom, it’s now officially Robert “The Tuck” Pattinson

Abstinence – Well, you’ve come to the right place… we’re totally saving ourselves for our wedding night with Robert Pattinson… and Jackson Rathbone… and Kellan Lutz… aaaannnddd… ok well maybe abstinence isn’t the term…

Buy Pattinsons wardrobe – this will cost you all of 4.75, to get his look all you need is whatever you wore in 9th grade and then access to either a Goodwill thrift store or movie Wardrobe dept. for a couple extra holey tshirts every 6 months. (This might be in my favorite top 5 things anyone’s every googled and found us! What else can you say about the genius of this?)

Robert Pattinson birthday gift from Kellan – I’m guessing either a personalized copy of The Purpose Driven Life signed by Rick Warren, or an ex-small purple wifebeater

Wig for new moon – NOT THIS ONE! If this is your New Moon Hair Dept, we are NOT happy. FYI

What is robert pattinson doing for his birthday – Well besides us, maybe about 29 shots of Jameson, smoke a whole pack and then hide in his room from you freaks.

www.jet-porno.ru – is this some kinky mile-high club shiz?? (check it at your own risk i have NO idea what that is)

funny lesbian birthday wishes – I’m not sure but maybe we can ask KStew and NReed for some ideas? Unless they’re not talking to each other now since that whole messy faux break up we’ve created in our minds happened.

Buttcrack school – Dude, Buttcrack Santa is teaching? Where do I sign up? Prof. Santa!

Follow the cut for more hilarious, scary and just plain weird googles! Trust me it just keeps getting better!
Continue…

43 Commented

This is how you found us? Vol. 3

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and lost Googlers-

April is drawing to a close so it’s once again time to crack into our vaults of search terms. I know, I know! It’s just like (buttcrack) Santa came last night and left us all kinds of fun gifts.  So for the uninitiated, wordpress has this handy dandy feature that shows us every day what terms people google to find us. It’s generally the stuff you’d expect: Rob, Twilight, Filet o Fish (of course!) and for some odd reason Muse is one of our biggest terms, but then there are the othesr! And boy, are they off the wall! So we thought man, this is funny stuff- we really have to share it with everyone… and well here we are again with another round of “THIS IS HOW YOU FOUND US?!”

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find both LTT and LTR

• Adam Brody – be still my heart… our secret secret blog? Yup, that’s right: letterstoadambrody.com

• we were fine. i have not left my boyfriend – is that you Kristen Stewart? Are you trying to tell us something? You can email us, ya know!

• i gotta discuss – WHAT? What do you have to discuss with us?? Maybe you should head to the forum?

• 

  He loves me... he loves me not

  stephenie meyer +rob pattinson – equals true love 4ever? She wishes! You can stop googling you and Rob’s name Stephenie, it ain’t gonna change anything! Maybe you should read some fanfic instead

• taylor lautner with his mom – Seriously, right?! We love and adore Papa Filet o Fish but what about Mama Lautner? Is she a Mama Yogurt Parfait? Where is she? Cooking Taylor’s eggwhites? So many questions…

• what would taylor lautner want for a birthday gift? – I don’t know, how about a year membership to 24 Hour Fitness? A copy of season one of Wizards of Waverly Place? Or maybe a My Little Pony comb for his beautimus flowing wig?

Check out more crazy Googles after the cut!
Continue…

53 Commented

This if how you found us? Vol. 2

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR Readers and Random Googlers –

It’s that time of the month again! Time to go trolling through the search terms that led people to our site. Last month we started this feature because we wanted to share with you awesome readers some of the funny stuff UC and I see on the ‘backend’ of the blogs that never get seen by anyone else. For the uninitiated wordpress has this handy dandy feature that shows us every day what terms people google to find us. Most searches that lead people here are obvious ones like: Twilight, Letters, Rob, shirtless Kellan pics… you know the usuals! But every so often we get a real winner that simply must be shared with the world and here are this months…

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find us

• filet-o-fish fan site – uh no, not us but this sounds like the perfect name for our new LetterstoTaylorsDad fan site. We LOVE you Taylor’s Dad!

• a shirtless jackson rathbone – it warms my heart that we’re thought of as a place where shirtless pics of the cast can be found. Someday I will unveil my gallery of all the shirtless pictures I’ve been collecting since we started these blogs

• kristen stewart looking like shit – so uh you’re looking for just ANY picture of Kristen, huh. Is there any other way she looks?

• robert pattinson buttcrack – Oh HALE nah, who does Rob think he is? Our lover Buttcrack Santa. NEVER!

• Robert pattinson win a date contest 2009 – Brought to you by a Nigerian Prince and the UK Lottery (which you’ve won!). Just ask these girls

• im rob pattinson ex-girlfriend – no you’re not! SHE is!

• robert pattinson hamburger – ok fakerpattz we know this one’s you!

• unicorn jasper – He does speak eloquently about Twilight, but these guys might have something to say about that!

• pornos – um, wrong place dudes. Unless we’re talking Rob, then head over here

• sass family crest – Sass? Was this you?

• does rob pattinson brush his teeth – this is still up for debate

• edward von twiligt – is this anything like the Count von Count?

More funnies after the cut… Continue…

59 Commented