Introducing the New Holy Trinity! Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 Premiere

Dear Old Holy Trinity-

Move over Taylor and Kristen, there’s a new trinity in town… aka these are the videos UC chose to edit first.

Rob, Mike Welch (ROOOBBB!!) and Melissa Rosenberg. Yup, UC must have a thing for Mike Welch and Melly Rosenberg because she totally overlooked people like Jackson Rathbone and Kellan Lutz for… MIKE.WELCH. Yea, I don’t know either y’all but considering last year’s Mike Welch moment I’m surprised he even gave us a second chance much less played along with our dumb game. Whatta sport that guy!

Mike Welch. Yea, we totally asked him to act the fool and he was more than willing. And yes, this Arizona girl is likin’ da rain.
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And then Melissa Rosenberg became just like our favorite step-aunt in this video.
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And well there’s really no need for introduction to this ROBERT PATTINSON video because there are no words necessary because as you all know, this has never happened before. Special hugs to Matt and Ryan for hooking us up. WAAAAY up.

We’re sorry Taylor and Kristen but I’m sure you understand… you never would have delivered famous Twilight movie lines in Mike Welch’s voice or introduced us to your husband or told us you had to pee. So as you can see it had to be done. You’ll understand someday, when you’re older.

Who else has moved up on our list of favorites? Who will be the new Big Daddy (we miss you!)? Who will be the next Buttcrack Santa? Only time and Goldfish Cracker-fueled midnight editing sessions will tell.

Moon and UC

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9 Commented

Rob’s New Fragrance!

Smells like… how do you say… ah yes, SEXY.

Hey Guys!

Rob is the new spokeswhore (TM Dlisted) for Dior Men’s Fragrances. I know, right??!?! I guess people think he smells like stuff other than stale cheetos and the inside of a second hand clothing shop. Shocking. So clearly, Rob needed a way to pay for his new pad since he dumped the old love nest (too many memories. And stains). So enter Christian Dior and their office full of Robsessed ladies and here we are: Robert Pattinson face of Men’s Dior Fragrances.

So I got to thinking if Rob’s the new face of these fragrances, what would they smell like? Well, have no fear people I’m here and I have a warped creative imagination!

Dior Italiano – It smells like a pizza rolled up and stuffed in a sweaty men’s Italian leather shoe, that’s been worn through a dirty puddle behind Ye Rustic Inn.

Dior Angeleno – It smells like an old gym sock worn to a PF Chang’s Rock N Roll Marathon after a trip to the dog park where it accidentally stepped in dog poop.

Dior Robbe – It smells like an ’86 BMW full of greasy old In-N-Out bags on fire in the number 4 lane on the 405 North.

Dior Unbroken – It smells like adolescent tears drying on a copy of “Forever” by Judy Blume loaned out from the public library.

In light of the recent Brad Pitt Chanel Fragrance commercials there is one thing for sure: I CAN’T WAIT to see the commercials/print ads Rob’ll do for Dior. We need Rob talking about scents, and men, and life and love and he has to use the word “essence” a lot. We’d also like him to look super hot. Come on Dior DON’T LET US DOWN!!!

Smell ya later!
Moon

8 Commented

Ye Rustic Inn and Denim Cut Offs and Public Reconciliation

Yes, those are icicle Christmas lights! Klassy!

Dear Rob and Kristen,

So we’re 30 days out from the last movie and you two decided to get back together. Sure you’re not even living together which pretty much tells us everything we need to know about this reunion. I do want to say, however, that I appreciate that you choose Ye Rustic Inn for your first (totally not staged) reunion in public for so many reasons.

First off Ye Rustic is about a block from my first apt in LA and was the site of so many dumb crazy nights. Second the Rustic is a dirty greasy shit hole with a loud ass juke box and gross carpet and old dudes. I appreciate that you chose this dump to show the world your rekindled love because really what could better represent your relationship at this point them a greasy dump? Yup, nothing.

Palace of love!

I spent about 2 minutes wondering if you ordered a basket of their wings and if you got beer or a crappy mixed drink. And is Kristen 21 yet? When did that happen and how did I forget? Also Did you sit in one of those circular booths and feed quarters into the joke box so that the entire AC/DC discography would play? And then later did you stumble across the street to play darts at (the equally fabulous shit hole) The Drawing Room and complete the journey from sober paparazzi outing to totally shit faced illusion of love?

I’m only sad I wasn’t there to see the looks on the faces of the regulars as they sat on their bar stools and gave you the side eye. But I’m glad you included a famous local dive in your tour de love you’ve had over the last few days. I’m sure they’re gonna get a ton of business in a few weeks! BMC (before Mini Cooper) you guys were hardly seen out together so many times in one week but not now! But I guess with 30 days left… ain’t no time to lose!

Forgot something?

Also lunch out the next day? You two are working this public reconciliation thing hard! Nice try yall! Oh and KStew? Button your freaking pants up. It might have been hot the past few days here in LA, but this isn’t MTV Spring Break 1995 and you don’t have one of those sun/dolphin tattoos circling your belly button. Thanks.

Off to get some wings!
Moon

24 Commented

Twilight News: So much, so little time (And by that we mean there are 4 new things)

Dear LTTers,

Did you see the BIG TWILIGHT NEWS?

Moon & I were together in Philadephia this weekend:

This could be an ad for Toms

(apologies to @brookelockart for cutting you out!)

We had such a fun weekend exploring all the sites & eating all the food in Philadelphia. ALL of it. And we BARELY talked about Twilight! I mean, we discussed our excitement for our LAST (sniff) LTT party (11/11/2012 Downtown LA location TBD) and Mr. Choice gave us another 1/2 hour to discuss Team Jacob vs. Team Edward (we’re still undecided) oh and DUH we watched Twilight late one night because… WHY NOT!? But other than that we discussed our excitement for That’s Normal (TN- officially launching SOON) and vikings.

And turns out we missed a TON of Twilight news:

WE HAVE CAMPERS

Camping Registration began & closed without any major hitches. Now you are to spend 24-7 in prayer until you get the e-mail confirmation that YOU’RE IN! Start collecting all the Twilight paraphernalia you can to decorate your campsite because you’re ALMOST THERE. (and hey if you’re an LTTer and WILL be camping, you better represent! we want to see pictures and the most 2nd-hand embarrassing stuff EVER!)

ROBSTEN IS FOREVER

GUYS: Even though we heard ROBSTEN was official WEEKS ago it’s just NOW that they are OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL because of a photo that ET gotwhich proves that they are TOTALLY a thing and NOT just doing it for the press. I MEAN They are TOTALLY in LOVE. SO MUCH love I keep CAPSING and unCAPsing STUFF because I CAN’T believe THIS is a THING that WE ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT.

Bear-skin rugs are also forever

ALSO DO YOU THINK THEY HAD TO GET A NEW BEAR-SKIN RUG SINCE ROB THREW OUT THE FIRST ONE AFTER KRISTEN DID PUBLIC GRINDING WITH THAT DUDE?

NIKKI REED BLOGS

We totallllly missed this blog-story that Nikki Reed shared a few weeks back about how she & her husband performed “Their song” which I assume is the song on the BD2 soundtrack in front of no one in Hawaii. Story here. Am I the only one who thinks this is SUPER awkward?

ASHLEY GREEN LOVES HAVING THE SEX

Ashley Green recently told Marie Claire:

“You go on a couple of dates, and then someone ships off to do a movie. It’s not like you’re going to fly out and see them, because it’s not serious enough for that.”

Which our LTT code reader reads as “I love to have one night stands with super hot rich older guys”

Check out the article on Marie Claire and watch the video below. I have to say…. she looks pretty hot. PLUS she likes to cook with butternut squash which means we’re basically fake lesbians. The butternut squash is my favorite of all the phallic vegetables. (side note: Since I JUST watched Twilight this weekend I can confirm that homegirl has lost TON of weight she did not need to lose)

Oh– the most fascinating thing I learned from this article was, “The studio [Summit] is rumored to have put a gag order on all the Twilight stars [regarding gossip about ROBSTEN]” Oh REALLLY???

Any bets on WHO will break that gag order first? Have they gagged Cathy Hardi… ’cause they’re gonna need to…..

I MISS MOON ALREADY,

UnintendedChoice

Did you sign up to camp? Are you excited? Who is in for the LTT partayyy?

23 Commented

Remember that whole Robsten thing? Well…

Dear LTT-ers,

If you were not on Twitter late yesterday (west coast time) than you might have missed ALLLLL this:

Kristen Cheats on Rob! – US Weekly

Kristen Stewart cheats on Robert Pattinson with married director –People

Kristen Stewart “Made a Mistake” and feels “Awful” for cheating on Robert Pattinson – Gossip Cop

uhhhh… YIKES!

So when my phone started blowing up with texts from far and wide asking what was going on/what was happening/WHYGODWHY/Why should she do that and UC texting unintelligible things like ZOMGROmKirstncheeteosjhasisdj!!!!!jn!_!! I knew Twitter would be a mess and MAN did it not disappoint. We’re talking a 2009 era explosion among the fandom. I saw people who hadn’t tweeted in years come out of the wood work to weigh in, Nutty Madam was confounded, the fandom Glitterati came out in force to share their thoughts!

To say it was/is spectacular is an understatement. We hadn’t seen this much creativity and hilarity in months. Thank you fandom Gods for seeing to it that we got Christmas in July and that I wasn’t half way across the world when it happened. Since the story is still developing and since we couldn’t let you miss out on a single moment, we’re going to be bringing you all the best from Twitter and around the nets all day. Stay tuned here for a the best of the best in Krupbert-Robsten-gate.

Moon & UC

Updates:

Always the voice of reason and my blogging idol Micheal K from Dlisted has A LOT (of awesome things) to say about this

Every Twihard Just Melted Into a Puddle of Sparkly Misery – Dlisted

PS Michael we beat you to the Nutty Madam response. BEHOLD the twitter convo:

Now Nutty Madam is an elegant lady who is refraining from a reaction video (sadly) because she supports Twi and all it’s endeavors but just think about the possibilities and what might have been… 🙂

More as the story develops… (I think that’s the first and only time we’ll ever say that)

Tweets we Love (authors are anonymous)

She was careless. Her popularity will plummet. She has jeopardized sequels to SWATH & put BD at risk. No studio will want her. And with a director? Oh god.

Cuz when someone cheats in Hollywood it usually does completely ruin their career:

The spectulation about “the pictures”

so i am not in the crazy robsten forever and she woudl NEVER..but the ones standing..way too tall to be her, unless
she has heels on

AND WE KNOW SHE HATES HEELS!

These things we know to be true:

somewhere out there, michael angarano is having a pretty good day.

@joshuahorowitz sir, you know you secretly in the corner whisphering, “yes” because you think you have a chance with him. Don’t play

Follow us on @letter2twilight on Twitter (or just look at our page if you’re not a member!) for the latest…. There’s too much goodness to keep posting & I realllyyyyy have to work!

37 Commented