A Tribute to Alice Cullen

Dear Alice,

Many months ago Moon & I pushed the little heart on YouTube to “favorite” this video tribute to you. I just watched it again tonight and got goosebumps because it’s a great tribute set to a great song:

The girl who created the video apologized for using another girl most of the time b/c there isn’t much out there with Ashley Green (which is soon to change!)

I thought I’d name today “Alice Cullen Day” and throw out all the reasons why, next to Edward, you’re my favorite character in the Twilight Saga. (Well, also after Mrs. Cope, but duh, that goes without saying)

• Because you can’t remember your human life, yet you seem the most compassionate to human feelings and emotions
• Because of your love for Jasper- how you waited for him, how you knew he was coming! I can only imagine how hard it was to ignore those visions of your first, ahem, time together for all those years
• Because you are a true, committed friend
• Because of your connection with your brother, Edward.
• Because you saw Bella coming and knew Edward would love her and you were right, so you’re smart which is another reason I love you
• Because you knew that you’d be bff’s w/ Bella someday
• Because you get to rip off James’ head in the movie, which is awesome since he’s the reason you’re a vamp in the first place and it was a brilliant move on Catherine Hardwicke’s part- one that Stephenie Meyer should’ve thought of!
• Because the girl they picked to play you in the movie is Ashley Greene and she embodies you and IS you and dresses the cutest and is sweet and humble and we’re bff’s now and she’d probably be real creeped out if she ever read this, but Hi Ash! I’m normal, I promise! Let’s go shopping!
• You’re the one who shows up in New Moon and rescues us from almost ending up with that dog
• Because you have a great fashion sense and attempt to help Bella at any cost, any time which is a huge task b/c she dresses so fugly. Member that sweater Edward describes in Midnight Sun? Ugh!
• Because you’re the most huggable marble-skinned vampire out there even more than Edward. Of course, he usually prefers my ‘special hugs.’
  
• Because you gave Bella a huge closet which, ps, she only pretended to ‘play in for hours’
• You come back in Breaking Dawn and I cry. The end

Hugs (and ps- can you tell me when I’m moving to California… it’d really help me with my summer plans…),

UnintendedChoice

What did I forget? I know there are many more reasons. Why do YOU love, Alice Cullen?

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I can paint with all the colors of the wind

Dear Vancouver, British Columbia,

Hello. My name is UnintendedChoice, and I wanted to introduce myself because I am coming to visit you really soon. Actually, it’s a good idea for us to become bff’s because you’ll be seeing a lot of me in the upcoming months, starting on Sunday, February 8, from 9am-12pm at the Second Ave Studios.

You see, I have what we call an acute fondness for Robert Pattinson (not to mention a sorta unhealthy obsession of looking at this picture of Taylor Lautner),

and I will do whatever it takes to be in his next film (Yes, I’ll even miss my grandfather’s 90th birthday party- but shh, I’ll be feigning a migraine that day)

There is a mysterious casting call that has popped up all over the web, and this is the reason for my visit. I know, I know, you see a few problems with my reasoning, right? Well, let me assure you, I know what I am doing:

1. You don’t even know that this audition is for New Moon. Oh yeah? Do YOU know of another major motion picture being filmed in your city from mid-March to the end of May requiring the expertise of “First Nation” actors? Yeah, didn’t think so.
2. Okay. You’re not a First Nation/Aboriginal actress. That’s why they call it ACTING, people. I can do it. Pocahontas was my favorite movie as a child. One of my best friends is 1/32nd Native American. I live in Pennsylvania near the Skukyll and Delaware rivers. I threw up in Lake Lenape when I was 7 years old. Another friend went to Susquehanna University, and my high school’s mascot was an INDIAN for God’s sakes! UPDATE: theMoonisDown just informed me her grandpa is 1/4 NA and she grew up in the state with the MOST reservation land in the country. This makes me even more qualified!
3. …You have pale white skin… Ugh, such minor details! I will hit up the Tantopia every day until the audition. Did I forget to mention I think John Smith is the most smokin’ of all the Disney male characters? That’s gotta help me, right?

On second thought.. I do really have pale white skin. I wonder…. you know how there’s all this spectulation going around about what Edward/Rob will be doing during New Moon and how they’re going to make sure he’s still a “main part” of the movie without ruining the integrity of the book?  Well, he visits Tanya in Alaska, right? And Tanya loves Eddie….and they need more Eddie in the movie… and Tanya probably attempts to kiss Eddie while he’s visiting and/or bite his neck and/or wrestle him to the ground/snow while possibly sticking her hand down his pants to distract him from missing Bella..and Tanya has pale white skin.. and so do I.. OMG! GET CHRIS WEITZ ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW.  I am a GENIUS!

See you soon,
UnintendedChoice aka Emily, err, Tanya xoxo

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Fans still love Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Nope. We haven’t forgotten about you. We’ve been a little distracted by all the NReed/KStew lesbo talk and the Kellan Lutz “good boy from your youth group” stories, but we still love you.

While Rob is definitely out-shining you in the letter department, people do still write to YOU too.  See, I’ll prove it:

xo

Dear People at Target,

I swear I am not crazy…and I am not a biatch (well maybe sometimes)! I just find it really annoying and hard not to use my vampire strength to rip your throats out for selling the last copy of the Twilight Movie companion you had in stock to a tween who still can’t possibly know or understand how Edward can make someone ‘jizz her pants,’ as he does me! I understand how you are not really in control of when you will get restocked again, but do you know how inconvenient it is for me to have to wait until tomorrow to hit up Barnes and Noble when you’re just 5 mins from my house?!!?? Anyway sorry for glaring at you (cashier girl) with my ‘onyx-colored’ eyes…I swear they’re not always this color. Next time please try and keep better stock…k?

Thanks,

krazykidd

P.S.

My apologies to my fiancee who thought he might have to restrain me when that bitchfaced tween wallked past me with a smirk on her smug little face in triumph…for a SECOND there I wished I was Jane so I could put her dumbass on check!! (only for a SECOND)   

Dear Twilight,

Who knew you were this addictive? I’m sure Stephenie Meyer’s publishers did. 

From December 23, 2008 to January 2, 2009 I was completely engrossed in the Twilight Saga that I didn’t even notice Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day! Honestly, there should be some sort of disclaimer on the back. Only took me 11 days to finish the series because “I had to know”. I thought I would be past my obsession once I finished all four books…now even it’s worse.

Now, I take random online quizzes about Twilight and their characters (so sad), and I cannot go to bed without hearing Bella’s lullaby. Also, (and this is hard for me to admit) I rub body shimmering lotion on my boyfriend so that he could sparkle like Edward. It’s safe to say I have a problem.

I will admit that I don’t obsess over the book more than I do over the movie. Watching the book come to life made me wish that this fantasy would never end! Every fibre of my being anticipates the release of the New Moon movie. In the meantime, I get my fix from fanmade videos and blogs (although I would prefer the official complete draft of Midnight Sun, hint hint Steph). 

Twilight, all that’s left to say is this: “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin“. 

Patiently trying to wait,

newtwilightlover (Shari)

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Twilosophy Vol. 1

Dearest philosophical Twi-hard,

This image has NOTHING to do with Twilosophy. Enjoy!

I present to you our first official version of Twilight Philosophy: aka Twilosophy.  So very often, theMoonisDown and I have such introspective conversations about Twi-life, but we miss out on sharing them with you due to our busy schedules providing pictures for Perez to rip off, writing hit Twi-mas songs and updating the world on all-things-Rob.

We don’t want you to think we’re shallow, or incapable of talking about the deeper aspects of living the Twi-life. Plus my husband majored in Philosophy in college, so I’m kinda an expert.

Warning: This week’s twilosophy contains spoilers

Tonight I had a revelation: While Rob Pattinson looks to be jizzing in his pants during the first Biology scene in the movie, he is, in fact, acting just as Stephenie Meyer hoped Edward would act. Last night I started re-reading Midnight Sun. (It’s not like I had anything better to do- dishes haven’t been done since before Christmas, there is still wrapping paper in shreads in the living room and I haven’t cleaned the cat’s litter box in over a week, but whatevs)

Reading Midnight Sun, you’re struck with just HOW MUCH Edward wanted to kill Bella. I thought to myself “UnintendedChoice (just kidding, I rarely call myself that), how would YOU act like you’re about to kill an innocent teenager and massacre an entire classroom?” And if we remember back to Anne Rice’s Interview with a Vampire, we learned that sucking the blood of a victim is quite a sensual experience. And Edward even imagines it..taking his time with Bella’s warm blood…so it makes sense that he would act like, well, he jizzed in his pants.

Forgot how awesome the movie was? (how could you?!) Thanks to a Chinese pirate, we can watch the entire movie in sections here.

(Read our first unofficial run at Twilosophy here)

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Midnight Sun

Dear Stephenie-

I started reading Midnight Sun last night and it was like falling in love all over again… but maybe this time it was better, sweeter and with a deeper understanding and appreciation for it. I laughed out loud several times and also felt a lot of kinship and sadness for Tanya… always the Tanya, never the Bella.

I’m on chapter 5 and I can’t possibly begin to think that you haven’t/won’t finish this book. It seriously ranks up there in like the top 2 of my favorites in this series. You really hit your stride here taking on Edwards perspective. PLEASE finish this and publish it, I will buy it, I will stand in line, I will blog about it! PLEASE, it is my Christmas wish from one Arizona girl to another.

<3
Me

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