Books Stephenie should write, other than Midnight Sun

One of these days I won’t work 12 hours & I’ll actually be able to write my own LTTs. Until then, thank God for LTT friends who write amazing letters for us. Today, hear from The Plane Friend- the friend I met, on a plane, in college (and reconnected with via LTT!)

I'm a fangirl!

Dear Stephenie,

I have to admit that it’s really bizarre to address a letter to you. I’ve never written to an author before, despite how much I computer-stalk all their web sites, blogs, and interviews. It’s even more unbelievable to me that I’m going to write one of my favorite authors under the moniker of The Plane Friend…and on a fan site.

As I sat down to write this, I thought about all the ways I could go with this letter, my first addressed to you: a real live, uber-successful author, which is what I have dreamed of being since I was a teenager. I could embarrass myself (and garner some second-hand embarrassment) by gushing like the fan-girl I am, but I doubted UC would publish that—even if we are long-lost friends—because I know it wouldn’t be worth reading. I also considered asking you all the questions I’d ask if I were going to interview you (none of which would be the “did you really come up with Twilight from a dream?” question). Since it’s unlikely you’d respond in the comment section, though, I figured it wouldn’t be nice to give everyone at LTT even more things to ponder over.

But as I considered these and all the other options, I decided on a shocking confession (because you care about the confessions of women you’ve never met, right?) and some writing prompts. Because I KNOW that you, NY Times Bestselling author of a saga we all love, needs writing help from a fan you’ve never met. (Ha—I can barely type for laughing at myself). Because why wouldn’t you want writing advice from a stranger who is still hounding literary agents to consider her first attempt at a book? So, here goes.

Meh

My shocking confession: I don’t care if you ever finish Midnight Sun or not.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved the first 267 pages. I would read the rest writhing with unadulterated glee the whole time. I would love to spend more time in Edward’s head, because, like everyone else here, I’m kinda in love with him. But I assume I’m in the huge minority of your fan base who would much rather read a sequel to Breaking Dawn than ever get my hands on any more of Midnight Sun. (I know, I know, LTT readers, you think I’m insane. You want to throw rotten tomatoes at me [or worse!] But just hear me out).

While listening to all the sound clips from the Eclipse fan-junket interview, I was flipping out when I listened to your plans for continuing the story. There were just so many potential great scenes I could come up with for a book narrated by Nessie and Leah, so I can’t even imagine what mind-blowing ideas you have. Plus, Leah is probably my favorite female character in your books—Alice running a close second and Bella a distant third, in case anyone is interested—so I’d really love to hang out with her again. I know that I’m probably WAY on the margins of your fan base here with my affinity for Leah, but I like girls that aren’t apologetic about being in touch with their angry side and, whatever, people are different. I mean, most of the people on this site think Rob Pattison is like the hottest guy in the universe. When I see his interviews, I think he’s hilarious, but he just doesn’t do it for me. He doesn’t hold a candle to the Edward in my head…who, conveniently, looks a lot more like my husband than Rob.
But I digress.

So back to my other point: writing prompts. These were the scenes I was imagining when thinking of this sequel, and I thought I’d share them, just in case they sparked some kind of revival inside you that made you want to write about your vampires again soon. (Ok, I know I’m dreaming here, but you can’t blame a girl for trying, right?)

I'm tired of being alone. Please Stephenie. Please!

Some potential scenes:

• The Cullens, (which now include vampire-Bella and a teenage/grown Nessie) in high school again. Now, not only does Edward have to endure the vulgar minds of high school boys, he has to listen to them drone on about his wife—and his daughter—and somehow not kill them.
• A grown-up Nessie falling in love with Jacob/Nahuel/other guy we’ve never met….and having her FATHER be able to read her mind and know everything she has done, thought about doing, or plans to do with this guy. (Oh, the horror! Can we all breathe a collective “Thank you, God!” here that our fathers can’t read our minds?)
• Nessie and said romantic interest somewhere near-by, and when Edward tries to “listen” in, Bella shields them…and Nessie gets to hear the resulting conversation between her parents. Because that would be funny.
• Having someone imprint on Leah. Because I’d love to know what that girl would do with a love- sick virtual slave. OR:
• Leah imprinting on someone. Because you might have to give her a personality transplant.
• Alice having a vision of their after-life as one possible outcome to a Volturi threat, so that the Cullens know that there is something else out there for them after they die. (But please don’t kill Alice! You can kill Lauren, Jessica, or Rosalie if someone has to go).
• Jacob getting Nessie pregnant with some strange vampire/werewolf hybrid, because we all want to know what in the world that child would be (and who it could destroy!)
• Rosalie and/or Leah’s reaction to Nessie having a baby…because I bet both of them would have some severe issues with it. (Hmm, could Rosalie try to steal this kid? I really expected her to try to kill off Bella in BD at one point to try to steal Nessie, so I’m just waiting for “Ice Cold Barbie” to snap.)
• The Cullens and their friends taking out the Volturi, vigilante-style. Because Aro and Jane, at least, really have it coming.

So what do you think? Any chance we’ll see another vampire book on the shelves sometime? You can steal any of the above ideas you like without crediting me. Or, you know, you could just use all your own ideas, which, I am sure, are much better than mine anyway.

In all seriousness (despite this being LTT where seriousness is thin on the ground sometimes), I don’t care if you write this book next or in ten years, but I’d really, really like to read it. So what do you say? Can we have a BD sequel someday? Please?

Love, adoration, and begging from,

The Plane Friend

P.S. You know, if you ever wrote this book, no one here would mind if you could convince Summit, Robsten, Taylor, & co. to make it into another Twilight movie, either 🙂 . Just a thought.

What story do you wish Stephenie would write (other than Midnight Sun!?) I’m going to go with a cliche & say I’d like to read Jasper & Alice’s love story the most!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

71 Commented

Twilosophy: Eclipse vs. New Moon

Dear Twilosophy class,

Remember Eclipse? That movie that came out in June? And then was re-released this weekend to “celebrate” Bella’s birthday- aka Summit was disappointed with their box office results because they expected to blow New Moon out of the water and they didn’t? Oh yeah….. That movie.

I’ve been thinking about Eclipse a lot lately. Well, since I heard about the re-released in theaters for Bella’s birthday. I considered going to see it again. By “considered” I mean I laid in bed with my phone right after reading the news in my email & thought, “Maybe I should go” before falling back to sleep, never considering it again.

There’s been some talk around town (aka this 1 blog I read) about why Breaking Dawn Part 1 and Part 2 are releasing a year apart. And I think it’s pretty obvious: There was a year between Twilight & New Moon. And New Moon kicked ASSSSSSSSSS money-wise. When Eclipse came out 7 months later? The opening weekend was down almost HALF (and kids were out of school!) and while it hasn’t been out as long as New Moon, it hasn’t grossed as much. And it probably should have grossed more seeing as the popularity of the saga has only grown. Not that $672,498,560 world-wide gross is a bad thing. I mean I’d take that if I had to.

But the lack of Eclipse “success” makes me feel either worse or better about what I’m about to confess.  I am part of the reason for Eclipse not doing as well as New Moon. Yes, dear LTT readers, I only saw Eclipse two times. I feel bad because because of me, they lost $42.00 ($10.50 x 4). My waist is happy because I consumed 2,520 less calories in the form of popcorn (630 x 4- that’s for real. for a SMALL. I looked it up. BLOG RESEARCH RULES!) But I also feel good because it wasn’t just me who saw Eclipse less. Obviously due to the smaller numbers, the fandom overall did too.

I got thinking about why I didn’t see Eclipse 4 times like I did Twilight and 6 times like I did New Moon. This is what I came up with:

My Kung Fu isn't as strong as I let you think...

Harry Clearwater’s Kung Fu really isn’t that strong

And what I mean is…. the jokes weren’t as funny. Sure, sure – that’s a good thing for Mel Mel Rosenburg who finally wrote a semi not 2nd-hand embarrassing script, but it’s a sad thing for my funny bone- and for yours. I mean- you know what I’m talking about. How many times can we make Mike Newton fat jokes & talk about Charlie Swan’s obvious new-found virginity? If I make one more crack about the eyebrows in this film I think someone might murder me.

There’s such a thing as too much Rob

GASP! I know! I said it. And I don’t really mean it. I could never have too much of that Motha Truckn’ Brit, but it is possible that the Twilight saga, the actors & the story were just too overexposed. Despite the fact that we HATE waiting for the next installment in our beloved story, maybe not waiting as long means we’re not as engaged. We went from New Moon filming to Remember Me filming to movies about Mullets & lesbians to Eclipse filming to NEW MOON then LET DOWN after New Moon then Bel Ami, whatever teen drama/chick flick Taylor filmed once or twice and then ANTICIPATION of Eclipse then finally, ECLIPSE!

The Leg Hitch really wasn’t that good

But when I re-read Eclipse & read that scene, it’s good once again. Why? Because in the book it’s the Bella & Edward of my mind- before I knew who the actors playing them were. And, well, if I’m honest, I’m Bella. And Edward is leg hitching ME. When I watch the scene in the movie, it’s so glaringly obvious that Rob Pattinson aka Edward Cullen is not Leg Hitching ME. Sadface.

You call this boring!?

The minute Tay-Tay turned 18, he got boring

It’s not funny to joke about Chris Hansen anymore- unless we talk about Boo-Boo Stewart and that’s just BLEH. I wish Taylor was forever 17! He was so much more interesting then. At least not be legally allowed to like him gave me a reason to try. And now that I could jump his bones all I want if I had a desire (bleh), I have no interest. So love triangle between Edward, Bella & Taylor Lautner? No thanks.

That’s all I can come up with. And I know I’m not alone. Moon is worse than me- she saw Eclipse 1 and 3/4 times (missed the first bit of her second showing!) and obviously someone else hasn’t seen Eclipse as much as they did New Moon since the box office numbers don’t lie. What is it!? Why is a movie that was so obviously better made, and not to mention my favorite book, so much less desirable than the others?

Andddd Discuss!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

105 Commented

New Moon in 15 minutes

One of my fav things about the craziness of Twilight’s release last year was all the amazing spoofs written and recorded afterwards. Moon brought you the brilliant LOLCats version of New Moon yesterday, so today I bring you my favorite parts of New Moon in 15 Minutes by Cleolinda! Make sure to check out the entire post and enjoy your Sunday laugh! XO- UC

Some English Class

BELLA: ilu bb
EDWARD: So while we’re on the subject of Romeo and Juliet where everyone can hear us, I’ve been contemplating suicide lately. You know, some ironic but thematically appropriate means involving characters you’re just now hearing about for the first time, should the plot necessitate it. I’m thinking… death by sparkle at high noon.
BELLA: I SAID, ILU BB
SOME ENGLISH TEACHER: Mr. Cullen! Please recite a thematically appropriate passage for us, so that the fangirls in the audience can record it on their phones and play it on repeat every night before they go to sleep.
EDWARD: *sigh*
SOME ENGLISH TEACHER: A bit louder, Mr. Cullen! Some of them will want to use it as a ringtone.

The Rainforest in Bella’s Backyard

EDWARD: So we’re all leaving town and I don’t want you to come.
BELLA: Edward, you haven’t wanted me to come for six months now. This is not new.
EDWARD: Bella, I am too dangerous for you. If I stay in these movies, there will constantly be some threat to you. I must leave you, because I love you.
BELLA: WTF EDWARD NO
EDWARD: Bella, let me mansplain this to you, since a frail helpless female would never understand what’s best for her: I am BAD FOR YOU and I have NO SOUL and I am not willing to take yours and sometimes I feel really funny when you kiss me and I think this is bad for my virginity and you are going to GET DEAD if we stay together. Just promise me to stay not-dead after I leave and we’ll call it even.
BELLA: WTF NO NO NO YOU CAN’T NO
EDWARD: Okay, LOOK. I am SICK OF YOU and your whining and your clinging and and your endless codependency and these SHITTY, SHITTY MOVIES, OKAY? I am SICK of this endless slo-mo and this magenta lipstick bullshit. I AM A GROWN MAN, NOT A POWDERED DONUT, AND THESE CONTACTS HURT, OKAY? I AM DONE WITH THIS.
BELLA: EDWARD!
EDWARD: SPARKLE OUT.
BELLA: EDWARD!!!
EDWARD: *VAMPIRE HAND*
BELLA: …omg.

[Bella then curls up in the woods to die, too shell-shocked even to notice that Some Ripped Quileute Guy carries her home. She remains catatonic in her room while OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, and DECEMBER drift past her window.]

-Scenes of Bella Attempting to Move on With Her Life
-Scenes of Bella Setting a Good Example for Real-Life Teenage Girls
-Scenes of Bella Putting on Her Big Girl Panties and DEALING WITH IT

More Stuff Happens

[Remember when] Edward rode in on the Vampire Volvo of Great Justice to save [Bella?]. Volvo: The vehicle of choice for busting out hardcore rescue maneuvers, yet dependable enough for the everyday chauffeuring of one’s delicate human.

QUIL: [To Bella] Hey baby, you so pale and slim and clumsy, baby.
JACOB: HEY, DON’T YOU HAVE A TODDLER TO IMPRINT ON OR SOMETHING?

BELLA: Wow… you’re sorta beautiful.
JACOB: : )
BELLA: Now, if you were skinny, pasty, and a foot taller, we’d be in business.
JACOB: : (

Continue the major major Cullen Smiles & laughter, after the jump! Continue…

Add Comments

Everything I need to know about life I learned from New Moon

Life lessons learned here

Dear LTT-ers and TwiHards,

Remember when we gathered together some of the lessons we had learned from Twilight last year? Well, it’s time we hit up New Moon since the film version is out and we’ve (sorta) reread it again (and again) and there are a slew of lessons to be learned that I wouldn’t have known otherwise…

• If your new best guy friend starts running around in the woods in just a pair of jean shorts and some sneakers, he will NOT catch a cold. He will run a temperature of 108 but don’t worry, this is normal. He may also turn into a werewolf.
  c
• If a man with a pair of orange pants and hiking boots is directing the sequel to a movie adaptation of one of your favorite books: TRUST HIM. Perhaps with your life. He will NOT screw you over. And you just may find yourself drawn to orange pants and man purses (murses)


Trust me, I'm a director!

• I know you will be anxious when the lead actor in the first movie leaves for 2/3rds of the second movie but take a deep breath and let the underage boy taking his place worm his way into your heart. You will NOT miss the first boy and it will truly be “as if he never existed.”

• Mike Newton may have gained like 30ish something pounds but he still has some of the best lines and can act the HALE out of the flu!

• Just like in Twilight it is perfectly normal to expect your best friend to be the boy next door who suddenly morphs into a hit piece with a 12 pack, a penchant for fixing up broke down cars and motorcycles, and will love you more than your whiny ass deserves even when you can’t get over the hot vampire boyfriend who dumped you in the woods months ago and moved away.

• I learned that if you are depressed and you sit in a recliner for 3 months, you will not get bed sores, a flat “shelf ass” or muscle atrophy…seriously how did she do that?

Follow the cut to see what else we learned from New Moon
Continue…

Add Comments

Thankfulness oozes from our LTT pores

Dear Twilight, Stephenie Meyer, Chris Weitz, Chris Hansen and everyone else that falls under those 5 titles,

Continuing with our weekend of thanks (aka Moon & UC take a break from blogging due to the pie-coma we’ve been in since Thursday), we opened it up to our readers to share what they are thankful to YOU for in the Twi-world!

Kristin, forum mod, incredible friend and list maker extraordinaire, kicks us off with a sappy, funny, THOROUGH list of thankfulness!

Just wait till you see the hand signals people give you if you leave out the leg hitch

• I am thankful that Crazy Cathy is a cougar, without her prowess for Rob, we wouldn’t have gotten to see him come to life as Edward Cullen.
• I am thankful for DVD commentary, without that I wouldn’t have the pleasure of hearing “cheeseburgahs!”, “super human moron” and “there’s always something suspect about a guy who plucks his eyebrows”.
• I am thankful for DVD’s in general when it comes time to fast forward through Kristen/Bella stuttering in the hospital bed.
• I’m thankful that Stephanie Meyer had a dream. A dream about a meadow that has changed mine and countless other womens perspective on what  constitutes the perfect man. However I am not thankful for repetitive use of the word “chagrin”.
• I am thankful for the leg hitch. David Slade, so help me God, that leg hitch better be in there.
• I shall give thanks to the man who restored my faith in the movies, Chris Wietz. I am so thankful for him, I would iron those mustard colored pants even. Lets try and remain proper, but there are many ways I would like to show just how thankful I am.
• Also thankful for Michael Sheen and Tweed. (say that last part very seriously)
• I am thankful that I while I am a mother and I love the Twilight Saga, I am not a twi-mom.
• I’m thankful that there is a forum, about twilight, that I moderate. Never thought in my life, those 3 things would be together in a sentence.
• I am thankful that I don’t go one day without thinking about Rob/Twilight/New Moon/LTT/LTR, they are my life now.
• (here comes LOTS of cheese) I am thankful that I have met people who will be my friends for life, all because of twilight. People I have met and will meet, that are so fabulous, it makes me sad to think I wouldn’t know them if I had just blown off this stupid “vampire book”.

The Twitters were abuzz with thankfulness

Random_Brunette i am thankful for Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone,Chris Weitz,ShirtFree-ness & Heineken,amen 😉

RobwardisSEXX I’m thankful for Rob always having the right amount of scruff on his gorgeous face. & 4 s.meyer’s creations.God bless her.

PhyllmeupRob Im thankful that Rob and Twilight reminded me 2 act young & really feel lifes emotions again without guilt. Cheesy enough?

Follow the cut for so much more thankfulness that you’ll wish you were back in your pie-coma Continue…

Add Comments