Oh heyyyy: We just saw Eclipse!

Sorry all- Eclipse is out- All spoilers ahead!!!

Dear Eclipse,

Oh heyyyy!!!

Where do we start? Do we discuss the hits versus the misses of the movie? Do we talk about all the cheesy one-liners we already know we’re going to be saying for the next year and ½ until we get some new content? Do we talk about how the only thing going through our heads every time HE came on screen was “Oh heyyyyy”

How about we talk about how we want to set up a stool, pull David Slade up on it and give him a huge hug.

Let’s talk about how we love Howard Shore for including the Sia & Metric songs throughout his score.

Let’s be proud we can show our non Twi friends this movie because it actually seems like a “real” movie.

(Let’s squee for a second over the new Harry Potter trailer and also get a little freaked out about how much they gave away!)

Let’s discuss how we got the MOTHER EFFING LEG HITCH!!!

Let’s apologize to Edward for liking the Jacob & Bella kiss a litttttle bit too much

Let’s get Jake some blotting tissues for that last scene when he looks like he’s dying of yellow fever.

For that "fresh off the Jersey Shore" look

Let’s put a call into L.A. Looks, and after thanking them for sponsoring Twilight with their donations of tubs of hair gel, ask them to move some of the allotted product for Taylor & pass it on to Rob to fix his floppy bangs.

Let’s close our eyes and picture OURSELVES as Bella in a world where the guy on the bed is so hot that the gold brocade bedding he’s laying on doesn’t even matter.

Let’s be grateful that most of the Bella/Edward getting-it-on scenes didn’t make us feel like we were watching Robsten preparing for an evening of licking cheese-whiz off each other

Let’s talk about when we can burn down the jewelry store that created Bella’s engagement ring.

Let’s “lay” with Charlie in the Biblical sense because I’m pretty sure he hasn’t gotten any since Renee left.

Let’s call up our local zoo & find out when “pet a wild wolf day” is- because those pups are CUTE! (Or we could just head back down Sunset Blvd where Moon, Mr. Choice & I saw a REAL LIFE WOLF crossing the street last night! It’s a sign. Rob loves me, obviously!)

Let’s get excited for illegal clips to surface online so we can watch Edward get all turned on and imagine we’re Bella but with good hair & a 2 karat solitary diamond ring. HELLO!

Let’s take a second and pout that no one yelled “FREE FRED,” and in fact, no chubby red-headed vampire was spotted at all.

Let’s be momentarily bummed that we didn’t get to see the scene where Alice & Jasper meet in Philadelphia but then swoon over the scene where they share a quick kiss during battle practice.

And let’s be grateful we just realized it’s 7:30 am on the east coast and you’ll all be expected a new letter live in 1/2 hour!

Oh heyyyyy:

UnintendedChoice

What did YOU THINK!????? Gah- we have so much to say. We recorded our convo with @paleochicksdigs & Mr. Choice on our ride home. I can’t wait to see it again because it all went so fast!!!! Sorry if you haven’t seen it yet- today is a day of mucho mucho spoilers!!!!

Source for pics of man who makes us say “Oh heyyyy”

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

296 Commented

Eclipse, It’s FINALLY HERE!!! But first it all begins with a choice!

It all begins with the choice to use this image one more time

Dear LTT-ers

We’re finally here… tonight we will see Eclipse for the first time and we’ll get to see if it’s everything we thought it would be, if the drama was worth it, if the wigs inch down their foreheads during fight scenes, if Jacob really is 108 in that sleeping bag and most importantly we get to find out what the new stuff is we’ll be talking about till the next movie. Who’s the new Buttcrack Santa? Will there be any “little bottles” or “They’re not bears?”

But before we get to all that we have to make some choices… you won’t get it all and we’re remembering to “accept it now” but there are a few things you can control like how much butter you put on your popcorn or whether you wear your LTT/LTR shirt or your Bella costume to the movie… let’s take a look at the choices you can control

It all begins with a choice… what will you choose?

• To see Eclipse OR not (DUH)

• Small OR Extra Large Popcorn (with refills?)

• Scream out loud when Edward makes his 1st appearance OR silently clutch your Eclipse themed popcorn container (you got the Extra Large special edition container, duh) holding on to that last shred of dignity?

• When the Leghitch scene happens will your leg raise of it’s own volition in a mock leg hitching motion OR will you come prepared with a Team Switzerland sweatshirt you will tie to each armrest to fashion a seat belt or sorts to restrain yourself from making any hitching movements?

After you've finished the popcorn this can be used to relieve your bladder

• Leave in the middle of the tent scene to hit the potty because in addition to that special edition popcorn container you’re also double fisting Diet Coke (with a splash of rum from your LTT flask) in special edition cups  OR use your new found bladder control because of the Kegel exercises you’ve been practicing in your office chair for the last 7 months since you had the same problem during the Volturi show down in New Moon?

• Decide whether you’re going to stay up after the midnight screening to write us a letter begging us to start LTX: Letters to Xavier OR will you compose your own first letter to Xavier on your blackberry/iphone/toilet paper with Eclipse pen while staying for your 2nd screening of Eclipse at 3AM?

• If your theater does not have assigned seating will you mentally choose which 13 year old Team Jacob fans you’ll be most likely to elbow in the face to get past them and into the theater first OR which Twimoms you can trick by yelling “EDWARD’S HERE!” while pointing to the front door to cause a diversion so you can run into the theater first all in a quest for those coveted middle-of-the-theater seats?

To burn OR use as a device to trip Twihards?

You see getting to the theater is the easy choice, you already bought those tickets months ago, but it’s after you get there that the real decisions need to be made. What WILL you choose when that annoying Radio DJ, sent by his bosses at the station to interview “crazy Twihards,” asks you whether you’re Team Jacob or Team Edward. Will you slap him with your Eclipse handbag from Etsy or will you punch him in the throat and pirate the airwaves playing only Robert Pattinson’s music till someone from the theater comes and drags you away with promises of a free Eclipse in IMAX tshirt in XXXXXXXXL? See these are the things you need to think through before you get to the theater tonight.

Happy Eclipse Day!!!!
Themoonisdown & UnintendedChoice

What choices will you be making tonight? Add your answers and other choices we should be prepared for tonight as we watch Eclipse FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! Ok, so I’m getting really excited now!

BUSINESS TIME!

Guesstimate Opening Weekend – Just like with New Moon we’re making another guess for opening weekend box office totals. And just like last time whoever loses has to write a special love letter to a person of YOUR choosing…  Whoever guesses the closest without going over will win reprieve from writing a love letter and bragging rights till Breaking Dawn 1 (can you believe we’re saying that?) comes out and the LOSER will be shamed in public and forced to gush on the blog to your chosen love letter recipient. WHO will it be this time? Since UC lost lost time and had to write a love letter to Cathy Hardi we’ll take her out of the running…

UC’s Guess- 134 million
Moon’s Guess – 155 million

It all begins with a choice…

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

156 Commented

Storytime with Moon: Eclipse Premiere and Red Carpet Event

Dear LTT-ers,

Tonight (I’m writing this at 2am) was the Eclipse premiere and red carpet event in downtown Los Angeles and I was there. Barely. And no thanks to the awful security/event management company SEM who couldn’t keep their rules straight, changed the rules whenever they felt like it, were led by a power hungry dbag, were so worried about ticket fraud they even wristbanded a BABY (which didn’t work! Fraud happened). It was shenanigans to say the least. BUT, we were in, and after meeting up with tons of #leghitch2010 girls we dropped off LilCrazyCow (my cousin) who would be helping us live tweet from her spot on the ESPN restaurant balcony, we headed off to get in line to be loaded into the bleachers by the red carpet.

Of course waiting meant we got to see a bunch of crazies in their natural habitat… outside a movie premiere…

THEY EXIST!! In real life!!! And I always thought these lived on Etsy (or Regretsy) only. Nope! People buy these!

Then these 2 old creepers showed up. I asked them what they were doing here (since they didn’t know the name of the movie), they said they were there to see a BIG TIME movie premiere… AND to pick up chicks. I told them they better check ID’s cause I was calling Chris Hansen on their creeper asses. WEIRD!

And this girl brought a TIGER BEAT for the cast to sign… ummm… ok???

It was already pretty 2nd hand embarrassing so we sat down for a second to collect ourselves before we would be faced with being in the middle of the screaming masses AND the cast.

Then we were finally taken to the bleacher area were we sat with @myrobpattinson and a few hundred people who would quickly become the bane of our existence.

Let me tell you after spending about 3048324 hours in those bleachers I don’t even know who half the cast is anymore I was so astonished at the total lack of knowledge regarding the Twilight cast from the so called fans who somehow got wristbands to sit in this special section. So don’t worry about me I just may call them by the names the “fans” gave them tonight for your reading pleasure!

First up was Tyson Houseman, aka the Nerdy Wolf who no one around us even knew. So we gave up thinking he’d come over because everyone was too worried about “Jacob” and when he’d show up. Um, not till WAY later people!

Then Mike Welch RAN over and ran up and down the line several times probably in effots to burn a few extra calories and earn some more points on Weight Watchers, but he reminded us we gotta get that protein in us!

And then in one of the “WTF arrivals” of the night Tia and Tamara Mawry showed up and worked the red carpet and even came over to sign for fans further cementing our musings about the connection between ABC’s TGIF and the Twilight franchise. Cause surprisingly the crowd knew all about these girls, pronounced their names right and talked about their show “Sister Sister.” I kept asking Ashley what planet we were on. TIA AND TAMRA MOUWRY?!

Then we noticed this dude who we swear we thought was Paris Latsis, Nikki’s old/maybe current/we don’t know boyfriend, but then we noticed he was wearing and Eclipse tshirt and was somehow working for Summit. But maybe that’s Nikki’s parting gifts to her ex boyfriends? Jobs at the studio she makes movies with? Maybe the whole “Greek Shipping Heir” thing isn’t working out for him and he needs some extra hair dye money?

It may not have been Paris Latsis but it was fate that we noticed him because without him we wouldn’t have seen this beautiful piece of art work behind him. I know when I’m planning out my posters for red carpet events my first idea is “pencil drawing of Rob and Kristen.” Who needs glitter when you can capture their magicness with a drawing?

Earning the nights “Classy Moments” award would be Papa Stew throwing up rock signs at his rando pals and then having a ciggie right in front of the fans, the huge Eclipse banner, and the radio/MC guy then snubbing it out on the edge of the carpet.

Heard in the bleachers: “OMG PapaStew and Nikki Red are hugging!” #awkward

BEST DRESSED OF THE NIGHT! Hands down!

Taller than the fire hydrant but shorter than the limo… David Slade!! To get the full effect of his teeeeeeny tiny awesomness here’s him walking away since when he came near the fans it was almost impossible to see him… he he

Do I spy some sort of blog/croc on his feet?

Follow the cut for part 2 of the Eclipse premiere complete with the Holy Trinity, a double take and a wink
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101 Commented

Storytime with Moon: I went to EclipseCon this weekend, what’d you do?

Dear LTT-ers,

I can honestly say I never thought I’d end up at a Twicon in my lifetime but I’ve thought a lot of things previously: I thought I’d never run a fansite/blog, I’d never create something where the words porn/peen/jorts/hot pocket were used as much as words like “the” and “and” and I never thought I’d walk into a Hot Topic on a simi-regular basis but well, we all know how this turned out. So upon hearing the cast (the trinity!) who would be there, I couldn’t ignore their siren call. So that’s how I ended up at the Eclipse Conference in Los Angeles and I was going to make the best of it! Here’s how it went down…

Whoever’s creating these events must think we’re all 100 year old farmers who get up at dawn because the very first panel was The Cullen Family at 10AM!!!!!!!!!! WTF?! How was I supposed to get all beautified for the day and over to Culver City on a Saturday morning AND get my beauty rest? Because if you know one thing about me readers, know this: I LOVE to sleep. Ask anyone, it’s true. But I hauled ass over there and skated into the biggest hotel ballroom I’ve ever seen before just as the Cullen’s were starting…

They answered some questions I don’t quite remember since they weren’t all that fascinating (this would become a theme for the day). Either Twilight fans want to hear the same ol boring questions over and over again or Creation Entertainment weeds out the good shiz like “Jackson, do you really think 100 Monkeys plays good music? Because we think it might just be a HUGE joke you’re playing on the fandom. Inquiring minds want to know, Moon row triple X.”

I mostly spent my time imagining Peter Facinelli as Mike Dexter saying “A-man-duh!!!” and where the heck Kellan was. This is a Twicon for goodness sake this is like Kellan’s Superbowl. If anyone was there it should have been Kellan! How was I going to get my prom-pose picture with him if he wasn’t there? What else better does Kellan Lutz have to do than be at a Twicon on a Saturday morning at 10am? Was he too busy making more videos about mammograms with his Mom or maybe it was prostate exams with his dad this time? Turn your head and cough, Dad!

The lovely and blonder Ashley came over to sign a huge poster thingy. Probably pissed about not being the big draw like during New Moon press. Or maybe just wondering why she said out loud if she had to pick one person to be stranded on a desert island it would be Jackson. They SO did it.

This was just some serendipity that I got this photo when Nikki came over to sign the poster thingy. Poor thing.

Then it was time for some hotties. The Bad Vamps. Bryce was a doll, her outfit, THE HAIR (no need for a wig you idiots!), her answers. She really does seem like a huge fan and talked as candidly as possible about taking over the role of Victoria. Then there was Xavier… and if I didn’t love him long time before, I loved him even longer now. What a dreamboat. Sadly, I wasn’t the only one who thought this and it led to some insane cat calling. At 11 in the morning?! Damn ladies, don’t make me turn the hose on you all. All that nonsense led me to this…

tons more shenanigans, 2nd hand embarrassing moments, and a billion more pictures after the jump
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138 Commented

Breaking down pics from the set of Eclipse

Dear LTT-ers,

With the total lack of any real Twi news or pictures larger than 1 inch by 1 inch, UC and I decided to do a little break down of the pictures from the Eclipse set. We speculate what scenes they could be from, how the actors prepared for the scene and what kind of mood they would have to be in. Ok, ok… you know us better than that- we get started off with how hot Rob is and then quickly devolve into some nonsense about Full House or Big Daddy’s love of McDonald’s menu items. This break down is no different! So let’s get it on!

Perfecting our waffle recipes,
Moon & UC

The one where we make a $7.00 bet
moon: ok SOOO lets start with some hottness
UC: if i didn’t know better, i wouldn’t know that wasn’t rachelle. sorry rachelle 🙁
moon: i know! totes looks like her
UC: and bryce has got a BOOTTAYYY
moon: riley likes big butts and he cannot lie
UC: so true So…. interesting about the kiss… wonder when it is
moon: so is that a wig shes wearing
UC: my guess is they probably show parts of seattle. it has to be a wig, that girl’s hair is stick straight
moon: yea im wondering about all this kiss/newborns/etc buisness since i dont remember it being HUGE in the book. i mean the movies gonna be long as ef already so then shotting all these other scenes is suprising to me but cool
UC: yeah… $7 it gets cut- please write that down somewhere
moon: noted
UC: so you don’t forget you owe me $7
moon: thats half a 2nd screening of eclipse on the following day since we’ll SO be seeing it AGAIN
UC: you could just buy me popcorn and 1/2 a drink
moon: ok we’ll share the drink diet coke and ill bring a LITTLE BOTTLE of rum. We’ll pour one out for our homie buttcrack santa. RIP
UC: RIP
UC: i’m gonna need the booze
moon: yea im gonna need it too, calm the nerves
UC: seeing rob roll around with HER doing the leg hitch. sigh
moon: we should make sure we’re packing at the midnight showing. GOD ill be thinking MULLET the whole time. hoping the wig falls off
UC: by packing do you mean our penis’ look big? cuz i don’t know what you mean
moon: yup, we’re defs stuffing our team jacob panties, so our packages scare the other bloggers, sorta like marking our territory. THIS theaters OURS bitches
UC: seriously.. take THAT “Letters to God”

Follow the cut to apply for a job as a Twi-pap, learn about fish waffles and President Hamilton oh and Eclipse!
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