Blurbs about the Teen Choice Awards

Dear Twilight,

Another award ceremony is over huh? I’ll confess I didn’t watch it. But I plan to do no work and catch up on all the video clips I missed during the day today.

Don’t think I didn’t spend all Monday & Monday night breaking down people, outfits & gossip from the TCAs though. No no.. never doubt me.  Enjoy today’s Blurbs about the Teen Choice Awards from The Quad, Calliope & Brooke.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

The one with that girl we don’t recognize from Twilight

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EastFriend: I watched Mark Steines’ cute lil’ interivew with the Twilight cast after the TCAs ended, and could not, for the life of me, figure out why there was a little Asian lady tagging along with the Twi-crew.

• Did Ashley rescue her from a Taiwanese sweatshop and put her on Summit’s staff, thereby offering and encouraging a better lifestyle?
• Was sweet lil’ Asian lady really a dealer in disguise? Cause some serious doobie could be hidden in the folds of that scarf!

And then it hit me. It’s Justin Chong. Dude…when did he come out? And where was Neil Patrick Harris?

The one where Rob channeled Ward Cleaver

Leave it to Rob-ver

EastFriend: Rob looked cute.  The scruffy beard was good times.  But the outfit?   What’s with channeling Ward Cleaver at the TCAs?  Even Mike Brady had better style than that.
4 hours later she still can’t get over it
EastFriend: 50 bucks says that plaid shirt Rob wore last night was STINKY. Marcus’ sweat all over it. You know he didn’t wash it. Just picked it up off Marcus’ hotel room floor. Thank God Stephanie prob had the foresight to say, “Let me press that for you.” Maybe she sprayed Febreeze on the arm pits. One can only hope…

Read all about classical music, twilight scandals & real lesbians after the jump! Continue…

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Rating the New Moon Trailer

Dear Twi-hards,

Introducing Moon & UC Grade something. It’s just like Breaking-it Down Vanity Fair Style, but just with us. Sometimes The Quad is busy & this is just easier. Today we grade the New Moon Trailer. Oh, you haven’t seen it? Clearly you’re not a real fan, but we’ll let it slide. Check it out then let us know if you agree with our grade scale:

Love,
UC & Moon

Here’s a fun game. See if you can count how many times we say “Dude”

Moon: Wanna break down the trailer, right now?
UC: Yes. This feels so forced. Like we scheduled sex. 6/1/09 9:00 pm SEX
Moon: Let me close the door (sounds like we’re doing something dirrrrty)
UC: dude i’m drunk. Okay I’m reading. i mean. i’m ready
Moon:  one second let me enlarge this sucker
UC:  that’s what she said

Edward & Bella
Moon:  ok so he says “you’re my only reason to stay.. alive.. IF thats what i am”
WHAT?!
UC:  The husband just said “such predictable dialogue” Um, no commentary from you, thank you very much
Moon:  it’s stephenie meyer- everything is predictable.  So…what Edward says doesnt even make sense
UC: “you’re my only reason to stay alive..if that’s what i am.” What does that mean!?
Moon:  WHAT?!
UC:  WHEN is that part?
Moon: It’s in the cullen house. Before the bday party?? Maybe after? Either way that line makes no sense, but he could speak pig latin and i’d listen
UC: “ihay ovelay youhay obray.” It’s kinda sexy.. the way she’s all up on his chest.. with her hand. I’m kinda turned on right now. DAMNIT 3rd glass of wine
Moon:  he could be like “i farted cause i ate a bean buritto” and i’d be like WOW- profound
Moon:  ok not really but ya know. It’s like when someone speaks a different langauge than you and it sounds hot even if they’re asking where the bathroom is. He’s working THAT
UC: He totally is. He’s working that sexy, drool-worthy voice that you know he doens’t have in real life. In between takes he was totally burping Kristen’s name

Rose rocks a hot bitchface

The Party (:31)
Moon:  we need to break down the outfits
UC:  first impression: House..l.. um YES… major win over the last house, which i loved
Moon:  yea i LOVED the last house. I want to MARRY the last house
UC:  House= win. so romantic. I so hope that the hubby does that exact thing for our annivesary celebration tonight.
Moon:  the two houses don’t look like they go together
UC:  i want to marry THIS house. They’re diff houses, but I love them both. This is an upgrade. Let’s discuss the coloring. It’s great. I wasn’t against the blue. I liked the blue. It was depressing, rainy. I thought it was nice, but the warm golden colors? I like
Moon: The blue color was dreary twilight, and I think the change to warn tones reflects the change to the wolves and earthy shiz like the quilutes. LOVE the new look
UC:  Um Alice= my bff. She shoulda worn THAT Sunday night to MTV cuz it’s major win. Also notice NO showing of Nikki/Rosalie except for one bitch-face moment that I’m about to screen cap
Moon:  No joke, Ash’s wig is better than her bouffant from last night
Moon:  Rose looks hot for once and not like she fell out of a TJ Max sale rack like she did in Twilight.
UC:  right. Ross Black Friday special
Moon:  seriouisly lest we forget her ACID wash jeans
UC:  she goes well with uncle jesse
UC: Esme? Uh, make me a vamp now and make her my mama
Moon:  Esme will always be hot and timeless. NEED that dress
UC:  WILL BUY that dress on ebay. For $7,000 if I have to. Will fight over any Twimom to get it.

"Won't you be my supper?"

UC:  so far I’m in love with Chris Weitz. Can we discuss the manly sound we hear “Alice that cake could feed 50. you guys don’t even eat”
UC:  It’s like Kristen said “damn, it’s 3am, i don’t give a F*ck… i’m gonna sound like it’s 3am. Or like I ate a frog.”
Moon:  uh JASPER- aka:  Mr Rogers cardigan and a poodle wig
UC:  SO nasty! Seriously. Almost as bad as sweat fest 2009 at the khyber in philly
Moon:  he’s all top heavy with that hair, makes him look like a pinhead. I’m so sad and underwhelmed.  Sweatfest was better

Not so fast, you sweaty monkey, you

The dramatic, small flesh wound (:43)
Moon: Jasper running is ridiculous! totes diff than how i imagined it but awesome
UC: poor piano
Moon:  next time i get a papercut im going to fling whatever it is im holding in the air. totally dramatic “OW PAPERCUT!”
UC:  Yes! Then throw someone on the piano! And ruin it. Even though it’s an antique from the 1800s that Bach played in the 1600. F*ck it. Who cares.
Moon:  thats how you react to small flesh wounds
UC:  Caust it’s a MUCH bigger deal than Bella getting her period
Moon:  dude you can totally see the harness and wires on jasper/stunt double. It’s all rumbled and a big square thing on his back
UC: Rush job!
Moon: yes definite rush job
UC:  Insert note from the Hubby “how many times do you think you’re gonna watch that clip? You probably should a bunch more. You don’t want to miss any foreshadowing or symbolism” (this is where I get my wonderful sarcasm)

See where Bella gets sad and Chris Hansen comes after us, after the jump

Continue…

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The things we do for Twilight

Dear Twilight,

You’ve made me crazy. Yep. Crazy. There I was- a perfectly normal 25 year old girl with a slight love of subway sandwiches, Harry Potter, Facebook, kittens (okay I’m obsessed with kittens) and music. Suddenly, after being quite bored on a family vacation, I’m obsessed with vampires. VAMPIRES! And then after seeing a movie with a few friends in November (a movie that wasn’t actually that good, by the way) I’m suddenly obsessed with a BOY (who, coincidentally was IN Harry Potter.. so WIN for me!) I’m married! I love my husband! A lot! And this BOY is younger than the geeky cousin- EW!

I’ve done the craziest things for you:

-I took a 5 hour flight to visit a friend and then stood outside a HOT TOPIC to meet Ashley Greene and buy a DVD that I just ended up selling on ebay. Let me repeat. I went to Hot Topic (multiple times actually) And stood in a line. Until 5am (eastern time.) I forgot to mention above, I’m obsessed with sleep

ihate100monkeys
-I went to a 100Monkey’s concert. And I’m a music snob. And they’re not good

-I talk DAILY to friends I made on the internet. How do I know you aren’t 54-year old men who play with themselves while looking at pics I text you, EastFriend & WestFriend? (uh, note to self, stop sending EastFriend & WestFriend half dressed phone pics of myself.. just in case)

I got picked up by Vickyb at the San Diego train station & we met Mrs.P for lunch downtown. I just trusted that Vickyb wasn’t gonna kill me.  And how did I know that Mrs.P’s teeny daughter wasn’t a cute ploy to get me to let down my guard so they could rob me of my millions?
iheartrob

If you're wondering if Mini Edward greeted me in San Diego, he did...

Please say hi to my gangsta booty

-I went BY MYSELF to Philly to a Jewish-Southern fusion brunch place and met AmourPSU. First of all, what the freak is Jewish-Southern fusion? Do you think AmourPSU made it up and staged a brunch place so she could drug me, insert something into my brain and steal all my creative ideas?
iloverob

-The other night I was at a loud, crowded bar with some friends. I could barely hear my friend Ray say, “That’s what she said” after everything my husband said (he says it so often I’ve changed it to: “That’s what Ray says”). But don’t worry, I heard the girl at the next table explain to her date how she likes the series “Twilight,” and I swung my head around so hard my neck muscles STILL hurt.  No one else noticed. And I wasn’t even the closest person to her.
iheartrob

One day I was just minding my own business driving home when, going 45 m.p.h. I pass a road sign that I SWEAR says “Twilight Party 5/30.” I SWERVE into the parking lot and drive to the other entrance to see if my eyes deceived me or not. They did not. The mudshack pottery studio is having a Twilight Party on Saturday. What are they gonna do? Make clay figurines of Edward? How gay. Oh, and you know I’ll be there…

robishot
What happened? How did I, a perfectly sane girl who occasionally did crazy things like dress up like Moaning Myrtle for the Harry Potter opening movie night become the: meets internet friends in person without a second thought, stays up till 5am at a HOT TOPIC to meet a girl from a movie that wasn’t that good, looks awkward in public places, almost gets into accidents, makes a fool out of herself-type girl over a book ABOUT VAMPIRES…… Oh, I also have given up all hobbies, all real life friends and spend Friday nights at home…. all to run 2 blogs….

FML? or…no.. I love my life…

You’re worth it. Friends, vampires, Rob, the Internets, Twilight…. I <3 you enough to go crazy for you

Love,
UnintendedChoice
*omg… I’m KNOWN by a fake name from a MUSE song..! ugh!

I love all my internet friends more than you’ll ever know. And EastFriend/WestFriend if you DO turn out to be old dudes, well, I think you’ll be the best old dude friends I’ll ever have… you can’t get rid of me!

Concerned about the hos and dbags that will be surrounding our precious Rob on Sunday at the MTV Movie awards? Check out what Moon has to say at LTR

What has Twi made YOU DO? Leave us a comment then chat it up over at The Forum

We have some FUN stuff planned for the MTV movie awards so check back this weekend on The Forum our Twitter & the Blogs!

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Storytime with UC & the 100Monkeys

Dear 100Monkeys,

I have a story to share with you today. That’s all.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Once upon a time in the city of Philadelphia, UC arrives to 2nd street and is walking away from the parking garage towards Triumph Brewery. Suddenly 4 sweaty boys with guitars on their backs come RUNNING from another street. It is the 100Monkeys. Someone yells “Jackson!” and UC cringes with 2nd-hand embarassment and quickly looks away, afraid someone will think she is a crazy Twilight fan.  Instead of going to the club to meet her friend, UC proceeds to follow the 100Monkeys, just as any good blogger in desperate need of content would do. But they continue on past the Triumph Brewery and, alas, UC is hungry and running a few minutes late.

The first east coast LTT/LTR dinner is a success and a few drinks later, everyone proceeds to The Kyber to see what other 2nd-hand embarrassing moments await them.

Soon after arriving, UC points out the Bella Tattoo, which we learned on Sunday was tattooed so that Rob would decide to love her for eternity.

Frustrated with the lack of Twilight T-shirts in her vicinity, UC decides to take a walk with JustGotWicked. Ah ha! There they spy the Monkey-aholics in the front of the line. They’re sure to provide 2nd-hand embarrassing moments! They did not dissapoint. Exhibit 1: Home-made canvas Team100Monkey bags:

Continuing on down the line, Monkeyhats are spotted!

Some guy who apparently is in the 2nd opening band approaches them & they decide to snap a snot with him. Just cause. It’ll make him feel famous. Instead of a broke guy in an awful band.

Do you spy my tounge? I do

and look! A huge Stuffed Monkey!

UC decides all this work is tiring and needs a break with Calli & Amourpsu for some shots

Find out what happens after the shots (Here’s a teaser- UC falls down the bar’s stairs) after the jump

Continue…

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Lovin' 100Monkeys means you'll be loved in return

Dear God, please let this girl's name be Bella

Dear girls who thought by seeing the 100Monkeys last night at The Khyber in Philly Rob will now declare his eternal love for you,

Did he? Did Rob call you this morning anxious to begin your love affair? I figured. Cuz there’s nothing that turns on an actor more than girls showing up to a co-star’s band’s show wearing Twilight T-shirts, showing off their Twilight tats, swinging their home-made Jasper handbags over their shoulders, wearing a monkey hat, carrying around a huge stuffed monkey and asking when “Jasper” is going on stage.

By bringing a Monkey to the 100Monkey's show, Rob will be so happy & make me his wife

How ever will Rob chose between you all?

Last night was amazing. Big hugs to all the LTT/LTRs I met. Real recap to come this week. It’s 2:16 am and I need my beauty rest if I am going to be at my best for Rob’s call in the am, declaring his love for me since I saw a show tonight where the lead singer happened to be in two movies with him and they may or may not be friends outside of work.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

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