2nd-hand Embarassing Friday

Dear people who often get 2nd-hand embarrassed,

You know, we’ve taught you well. When Moon & I first started blogging, the criticisms of 2nd-hand embarrassing fans & stuff that is just weird in the fandom were few & far between. While no doubt Moon & I weren’t the only ones thinking the “Holy Shit that fan is effed up” thoughts we were (or actively criticizing the cast/books/movies etc.) we do think we were a few of the first to vocalize it- the media definitely was critical long before we were, but I think we may have been one of the few firsts to say, “This is messed up (but we love it anyway)” And thankfully we did because that gave all of YOU the freedom to disagree with the masses & think that most Twilight fans are pretty darn weird.

That being said, after we received 10,000 emails, tweets & IM chats about the story of the “Lady who lost a lot of weight and then ruined her body by putting a Twilight tattoo all over it” we think what YOU all have said is exactly what we were thinking. So we’re going to let YOU say it for us.

No idea what I’m talking about? Where have you been!?

Cathy, a 49 year old Twilight fan from England, lost 14 dress sizes in 6 months and to celebrate, got a Twilight tattoo. No, It wasn’t the apple. No, it wasn’t the Cullen Crest. Yes, it was the twifecta in multiple scenes from the promo pics from the movie: (Good Guess)

We first heard of this story from LTT reader Claire, who I can only assume is THE Claire Pattinson horrified that her son is inked permanently onto the back of a woman who could be her bff & shopping pal. Claire said,

Oh dear God, this is quite literally the most horrific thing I have ever seen. Also embarrassing is that fact that I may have been reading the Daily Mail where I came across this terrible tale.

A nice comment I read on the article

here is a typo in the title. It should read:

“Worlds Biggest Dumbass has a Twilight Back Tattoo.”

I do have to say- what Cathy did is incredible. That is a LOT of weight to lose in a VERY short amount of time. She SHOULD celebrate. She should buy a convertible. Or bid on Twilight memorabilia in an online auction. Or hey- use that £2,000 the tattoo cost (approximate $3,094.20) to FLY to the US and camp out for Breaking Dawn! Perhaps even treat herself to a steak dinner! A few highlights from the article I’d like to point out:

“I love Robert Pattinson. I want to tone up so I can get his character Edward Cullen on my stomach.”

Cuz, you know, being known to Rob as the #1 Fan on “The List” (you know the one) is exactly the way to worm your way into his heart.

“Despite her obsession with heart-throb Robert Pattinson childless Mrs Ward has not got it in the neck from husband Francis, 52.”

Maybe “getting it in the neck” means something different over in Reading, England, but here in Reading, PA (currently I’m approximately 58.6 miles away) it means your hubby “gives it to you in the neck” as in.. Humps your neck…. Thrusts his thing at your neck… which isn’t as sexy as you’d think I have no idea what that would be like. But it seems bothersome.

Another LTT reader sent us an email with a copy of the picture:

Hi UC & Moon,

A disturbing thing happened today, I saw this picture of a woman with a massive Twi tat and I automatically thought of you guys. That’s normal, right? Well, I just had to share. It would be a tragedy to keep this beauty to myself. The thing I love most about this picture is the fact that this is no spring chick. Hell, it isn’t even a hot cougar. It is an official middle-aged lady with a massive mistake, er tattoo on her back. Not just a tattoo, a Twilight tattoo. I love Twilight just as much as the next fangirl, but I am not spending truckloads of money and time to get this monstrosity on my back. I wonder what the hubs, or grandkids for that fact, think about it. Also, I think she has been going to Kate Gossellin’s old hair dresser. Then throw in the hint of buttcrack and this is all kinds of wrong. So, there you have it. Your lives will never be the same.

A fellow follower of all things Twi,
K

Oh FYI: Quick reminder about what Stephenie Meyer thinks about Twilight tattoos:

SM Tattoos by letterstotwilight

Then again, she didn’t tattoo Stephenie on her back. So maybe Rob, Taylor & Kristen would think that’s cool. … Maybe…..

I think my favorite comment of them all was the one left on another article that posted about it:

“The tattoos actually look like the real life idiots…that doesn’t make it any better”

Aww BURRRNNNNN!!!!!

And THAT is your 2nd-hand embarrassment for this Friday!
Love,
Twilight-tattoo Free (But currently saving for my Big Daddy tat)
UnintendedChoice

What do you think? Do you like it? Did I seriously just ask that? Where do I think I am, nicetwilightfans.com?  Of course you don’t like it! It’s more fun to talk about what Rob, Kristen & Edward (omg! OMG I just wrote that) I mean Taylor’s response was when someone sent it to them on their plane ride back to Lousiana last night!? Think Taylor laughed so hard he fell out of his chair? Think Rob let a “little bit slip out” because of intense laughter? Do you think Kristen was able to vocalize her feelings of creeped-out-ness? Think Dean made them all feel bad when he joked it was his sister?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

97 Commented

4 Weeks of Twimas – Give Back aka we donate an Alpaca in Taylor Lautners name!

Dear LTT-ers,

So we’ve been taking every Tuesday to share some great ideas for holiday gifts this year be it Twilight/Rob related or not! We’re here to make your life easier by bringing you all the best.

So we’ve brought you some fun gift ideas these last two weeks but we thought this week we’d bring you come good alternatives to traditional gifts. This week we present you with a few great gift ideas with a deeper meaning and cause. Not only will they mean something more than a thoughtful gift they’re affordable ways to give back and raise awareness about many causes. If you’re like me and have some of those hard to buy for people on your list (DAD! Stylish Boss!) than I present you some gifts in every price range with big heart!

Falling Whistles

Falling Whistles
We wrote about this amazing cause over at LTR when I found a picture of Kellan wearing a Falling Whistles Necklace which led to contact with a great gal at FW and leads us to want to keep sharing this amazing story and the necklace it inspired with you guys. Do you have a fashion and justice minded person on your shopping list this season? A Falling Whistles necklace might just be the thing for them! FW is a campaign for peace in the Congo and asks us to be whistle blowers for peace and change. Not only to stop the war but to raise awareness about child soldiers  and our world’s largest war still going on.

Learn more about Falling Whistles and buy your very own HERE!

Raven + Lily

Raven and Lily
Raven + Lily is a non-profit studio dedicated to empowering marginalized women through design partnerships and micro-enterprise opportunities. They support women’s empowerment programs that comply with fair trade standards and provide design focused micro-enterprise training. In addition, proceeds from each product are returned to assist with community development.

Welcome to one of my favorite companies and I just happen to know not only some of the ladies who help run and design for Raven + Lily, I have also met and bought amazing jewelry from some of the artists themselves in Kenya. Raven + Lily not only has amazing jewelry, they also have home goods, stationary, bath & body, baby goods and accessories made from women all over the world (Kenya, India, Burundi, Ethiopia and Los Angeles).

Learn more and shop Raven + Lily HERE

Oxfam

Oxfam
Or if you’re more into the furry kind of gifts, you can do what UC and I are doing by sponsoring an Alpaca Meadow through Oxfam! For 75 dollars you can donate, in your recipients name, an Alpaca Meadow (or chickens, or a herd of goats or childrens school uniforms, etc the list goes on!) and Oxfam partners with an individual in need to provide them a way to provide for their families and help stop the cycle of poverty. So this Christmas somewhere in the Andes Mountains a person in need will be given an Alpaca in the name of Taylor Lautner and LTT readers everywhere from Moon and UC!

Learn more about Oxfam and ways you can contribute HERE

So if you were stumped on what to get some of your list this year I hope we helped un-stump you. Or least showed you some of our favorite places to give back and helped educate more folks out there of some amazing causes helping people all over the world. These are definitely not the only places you can support this holiday season. Check your local Boys and Girls Club/Church/School/Salvation Army/etc for more great local places to volunteer and give back this holiday season!

Merry Christmukkahwanza Festivolstice!
Moon and UC

Any gift ideas you want to share?

Miss the beginning of Twimas and need to get some gifts? Check em out HERE!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

18 Commented

While Moon was Gone…

As of press time (aka 5:52 pm on Sunday evening while in my pink robe & before heading out the door to see PAUL MCCARTNEY (yes, a Beatle! WEE) I haven’t even spoken to Moon yet except through a few text messages. She’s home. She’s safe. She’s exhausted. I’m sure she is going through a transition of going from a 3rd world country back to LA…. where the world’s couldn’t be any different. So while we can’t wait to hear from her and ALL about her trip…. I thought we’d give her a day or so to debrief. And talk about how much we missed her and how much she missed!!!

Dear Moon,

While you were gone… Rob fell for me, Kellan repented & joined the priesthood, Big Daddy ate an entire Olive Garden (yes, even the bar stools) and Mr. Choice literally joined Team Jacob. He and Taylor Lautner ran off together which makes it easy to be with Rob now….

Okay not really- that’s my dream “While Moon was gone” (minus my husband and Taylor opening up an Alpaca farm together) But a LOT of stuff happened. In fact, we thought of you ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME. And so I asked the readers we know and love so well to send in stuff that made them think of you- Twi related… or not. And did they EVER! We got so many submissions that I can’t even post them all. And I was SO good at keeping track of them all (as you’ll see by my daily break-down of stuff that happened) and then I went on vacation and missed a few days- whoops. But you get the point. We missed you SO much.. and are SO glad you’re home. I can’t wait to catch up- hear all about Africa, tell you ALL the drama that went down while you were gone (oh there was drama!) and celebrate your return!

WELCOME HOME!
Xo,

UC

While Moon was Gone…… this stuff happened….

Day 1 7/30/10
@Twilight tweeted about US!

The world ended (and clearly they don’t know about the not-so-friendly “Dear Summit” letters we’ve written:

Check it out! RT @TSTPodcast: New blog post: Fan Junket Friday With TwiFans & Letters To Twilight http://bit.ly/dt2Vod

@Janetrigs kept on hatin’ on

to tell you this from her new work email:

Please tell Moon, I hate her. That is my message.

Greeting Cards to get me through..

An LTT friend sent me this card to get me through the time you are gone:

Click me!

Day 2 7/31/10

2nd-hand embarrassment

Dear Moon,

While you were gone you missed the most 2nd hand embarrassing moment evah…..
A fan video taping Kellan at LaGuardia airport in NY, who told him to tell her he loved her to her video camera, fell on her ass and he had to pick her up and give her a hug for her 2nd hand embarrassment (which the 2nd hand embarrasment happened twice so she should win an award. 1) she had him tell her he loved her and 2) she biffed it big time). I’m 110% sure after he got in his driver’s car he may have peed his pants a little laughing because that’s what I did (well I didn’t pee, but I almost did) when a lady ran into me in an elevator full force on my college campus and fell on her ass after she bounced off of me and the minute I got outside I almost peed my pants until I got to my car b/c I was laughing so hard.

Hope you are having a safe time!

Love,
A person who laughs hard at people who fall down b/c she can’t help it,
Jena

An excuse to laugh

Then this article came out: If Eclipse was 10 times shorter, 100 times more honest (read that, seriously)

Day 3 8/1/10

Samalia got THIS done:

(She said Team Mullelephant wasn’t available.)

Someone wrote you THIS poem:

Among all the blog lines
Sifting through I hide.
Lurking and knowing,
Relating to all described.
Laughing and blushing at all this good fun
While knowing that knowing is unfit.
It’s wrong.
That’s normal, don’t fear.
Come join in our play land.
Where vampires sparkle.
They glint and they glisten.
An unintended choice
To evolve into a beast.
Starving and hungry
For the next witty feast.
Not a love sick wolf
Gone crazed
In some lust driven strife.
But a tormented average girl
Consumed by the lines.
Kiss, Kiss to Edward,
Kiss, Kiss Taycob, baby.
Charlie and Jasper,
Carlisle and Nessie.
You’re real in my head
and you rest near my pillow.
I delight in your story,
Clutch me tight and hold me closer.
I need you to fill empty spots of my days,
Never quite clear why your draw never fades.
Pages and pages
Week after week.
With the turn of the moon,
I grow and
Still I break.
Commenting, talking,
Through a screen name I write.
Deep in the mess
of the twilight plight.
You make me happy and sad
and all things considered
I rather do this
Than be on facebook
or twitter.
So thank you
to all you who make my day
so very nice.
And thank you,
Oh, thank you for all these delights.

Best,
Love Spelled Backwards

FIGURED IT OUT!

While Moon was Gone… I heard a song on Pandora called “The Moon is Down” by Explosions in the Sky and finally figured out her sign-off…maybe?!

-Stefanie

More after the jump! Continue…

71 Commented

So I’m a superfan…

Dear LTTers,

I mentioned yesterday that I’m going to be 2nd-hand embarrassing you all today (Saturday) in Philadelphia for the MovieFone Twilight Night featuring Jackson Rathbone & some wolf (his name is Bronson- is he the one that says “Burn?”) I can’t really talk about what I DO know (which isn’t much) but I am allowed to tell you this, which I promise will be the most embarassing thing you’ll ever hear me say:

I am the Twilight SUPERFAN

of the Philly event.

Ever since I heard about it I’ve been having nightmares about what MIGHT happen. I mean, are they going to CALL me a “SUPERFAN” in PUBLIC? Do I have to yell out which Team I’m on immediately after they say I am the biggest fan of all time? What if I accidentally say “TEAM BIG DADDY?” Since I really have no idea what this event is gonna be like, I came up with some potential things I could see moviefone, in conjunction with Summit, wanting their SUPERFAN to perform:

• Participate in a Face off with a 12 year old- WHO IS THE BIGGEST FAN where I want to win, because of COURSE I’m a bigger fan than she is, but also don’t want to because the prize is a Jacob Black doll. And they want the winner to make out with it.

• SUPERFAN Twilight Trivia- What if I know all the answers? Should I pretend I’m stumped by a few so I don’t look like a major dork?

• What if they force a Burger King crown on my head? Will I ever live that down while my friends look on? And more importantly, will Big Daddy even want to meet me after he hears I  supported the BK?

• What if there’s a tshirt making contest.  Once they see me hold a puffy paint stick, I know they’ll quickly give the artsy part to a 15 year old, but what if I have to MODEL all the entries? Walk down a stage, strutting my SUPERFAN self while I wear a white Hanes T that says “TEAM PATTESTON?”

• What if they make me prank call Rob Pattinson, asking him what his “farts” are on the movie Eclipse

• What if I have to talk to Jackson & he asks me what my favorite 100 Monkey’s song is ?

• Will they bring this girl on stage assuming we’d be bff’s? And present her as a gift? Can I laugh?

She's a SUPERFAN- like me

• What if I have to sing a 100 Monkeys song without crying?

• Will I have to say 5  facts about Bronson Pelletier or else they throw a sippie cup full of blood on me?

• What if they pull 3 dark-skinned guys on stage and make me pick out which one Bronson is?

Don’t worry- I won’t be sporting a SINGLE Twilight accessory or piece of Twilight clothing- well, I will have my Forks, WA rape whistle that @brookelockart gave me as a moving gift last week since I moved near the ghetto. And the ONLY way that’s coming out of my purse is if I get so nervous before hand that I run to the closest bar (like 12 feet from the event) and down a couple shots. Then we might hear my whistle blowing while I yell, “I’M YOUR SUPERFAN BITCHES” and flash all the poor 13 year olds, just there to find out who the hell Bronson Pelletier is and what he has to do with Twilight.

Make sure you follow us on Twitter as I’ll try to tweet from the Wolf, Vampire, SUPERFAN limbo line, or something

Doing my best to not 2nd-hand embarrass anyone,
UnintendedChoice

After the jump, our LTT_LTR store SUMMER COLLECTION is here! Continue…

56 Commented

Monday Funnies: UC & Moon do a dramatic reading

Dear New Moon,

The time has come. Today is the day. It’s finally happening. You premiere tonight in Westwood, California, and we can’t wait! We ran over to experience the mayhem of the 7 block, 700+ people long line last night and we were NOT disappointed. We took so many great pictures (including some of the surprise guest stars) had a lot of laughs and just enjoyed the insanity of the fandom.

And then we decided we’d like nothing more than to kick off this week together and ALL the memories to come (remember, it was our last time together in LA when “That’s Normal” was birthed) with a little video for you, inspired by some light reading I did on the plane ride west. Enjoy!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Be 2nd-hand embarrassed for us on The Forum and read how we beg Rob to love us tonight at the premiere on LTR

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