Kellan’s Love is Louder

Dear Kellan,

Moon & I heard your message to us through your Love is Louder video:

(Out of the US & can’t see the vid? Go here and read the transcript)

Here are our thoughts:

UC: THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE. WE WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD because KELLAN LUTZ made a video JUST FOR US. There is NO other explanation
Moon: seriously
UC: No explanation except that he is SEEKING approval. OUR APPROVAL and LTT’s approval
Moon: He wants us to break this down….. for LTT……
UC: and his JOY for Jesus- Sharing it with the world. The ONLY thing that would have made that better, was if his shirt was off
Moon: UC, Jesus is love and love is louder
UC: I feel happier than the day we interviewed Stephenie. This is like if Big Daddy wore a Tshirt with a picture of a breadstick on it
Moon: HAHAHAA
UC: this is like if….. Michael Welsh did a weight watchers campaign
Moon: HAHAHA
UC: or just wore a shirt that said “I REALLY DO like Boobs” or “Save the tatas”
Moon: Like if Taylor told the press he was starting an alpaca rescue farm
UC: Or if it’s really TomStu & Kristen who are dating
Moon: Or if Rob is being sponsored as the new brawny man
UC: hahaha
Moon: or he buys a home on the east side & stops going out in Weho
UC: yes! Like if Rob is seen at Chango- that hipster coffee shop in your neighborhood where everyone smokes pot.
Moon: It’s like they might be finally listening to us! Or just confirming the stuff we’ve thought all along
UC: I mean…. Moon…our VERY FIRST POST was about Kellan and his love for the big man upstairs
Moon: it was
UC: And we always knew it
Moon: That thought came to me while I was peeing
UC: I mean.. who else reads the Purpose driven life besides lovers of the Big man [Not Big Daddy- the other one] It wasn’t too hard to deduce.
Moon: You’re preaching to the choir sister
UC: and here it is.. confirmed …. for all to see
Moon: I may have to take Kellan to Kenya with me next summer
UC: I think this is Kellan’s cry for you to hear:
He wants to go
He wanted to go
He was hurt
Jesus healed him
but the pain is still there
Moon: It is. KELLAN since you’re reading this and we know you are. I will pick you up this Sunday and take you with me to church!
UC: THEY ARE SHOWING YOUR KENYA VIDEO!!! It’s perfect
Moon: It is!
UC: Jesus is love. Kenya is love. Moon is love
Moon: And Kellan is loving it all

Don’t be tempted

UC: It’s also possible he wants us to ignore the rumor that AnnaLynne moved in which I want to ignore- but kinda also want to talk about because I wonder how Jesus feels about his living in sin
Moon: WHAT?!
UC: Do you think they’re “just friends”
Moon: When did this happen?
UC: On a day he was “Straying” of course. No- some legit gossip rag mentioned it. And by legit I mean, not at all, but let’s ignore that fact.
Moon: AnnaLynne is trying to make us pay for all the times we’ve mentioned her
UC: I bet they have separate rooms, and he is SO close to Jesus that he just likes to really test his temptations. It’s easy to say WWJD when your girlfriend lives 10 miles away, but it’s MUCH harder when she’s in the room next door. He’s testing his faith. He’s showing us his strength as a follower
Moon: Maybe they both turned celibate and have created their own nunnery/priesthood in the valley?
UC: I bet they did- I think Jackson will be moving in soon too- there’s those rumors (that I think we started? Based on some hard-core googling stalking of his past??) that he grew up as a missionary kid
Moon: I just want to give Kellan a hug and then see what he REALLY believes. Also- I read a comment on his video that said “Nice Hair Plugs”
UC: Oh NO!
Moon: true or false? Sometimes his hair looks especially lustrous and other times it looks a little thin…
UC: you’re right. it looks VERY lustrous there
Moon: could this explain the comb forward caesar cut on Emmett?? He really has a receding hair line??
UC: it totally looks like he’s pulling a donald trump
that looks like a rug. WWJD? Not wear a rug.

Moon: I wonder what AnnaLynn thinks of all this
UC: yeah… she doesn’t seem like the type…. I’ve seen what she can do to a banana. Jesus doesn’t approve.
Moon: I mean she’s been traipsing around the world with him on this good will trips
UC: Has she been following Kellan around!? I’m behind on the AnnaLynne gossip, clearly.
Moon: yea she’s gone on a couple things with him- Haiti or whatever.. New Orleans
UC: dang- they are the new couple in Christendom. Like Bill & Gloria Gaither or Amy Grant & Vince Gill… or
Moon: Joshua Harris and his lady friend
UC: I know one thing WWJD: Not AnnaLynne is pretty dang clear.
Moon: The day Kellan dumps her and tells MTV they were “unequally yoked” we’ll know he really reads LTT

Love,
UC & Moon

While Kellan’s namedropping Jesus both shocks & pleases us, we did want to point out that “Love is Louder” is a great idea & we encourage you to check it out. Plus Vinny from The Jersey Shore does a video, and he’s our favorite.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Kellan visits the Holy Land

"wild child" visits Israel

Dear Kellan-

Does Anna Lynn McCord understand the irony between calling you a “wild child” and saying you’re on a trip to Israel in the same interview? Because I do, and I love it. I really really reeeeeeallly hope some day I can confirm all these crazies ideas I have about you being some wild and crazy party kid but down home good ol Christian boy who goes on mission trips, loves his momma and does mammogram videos with her. Because shiz like this only makes me wish for it harder.

Of the few news items I read about twi people today, this interview were AnnaLynn mentions you going to Israel was the only one that made me laugh. You, on a tour of Israel, or as my grandparents like to call it: The Holy Land! All I can picture is you getting baptized in the Jordan river by Jackson Rathbone, then taking a float in the Dead Sea in your Calvin manties, after a drunken night of trying to turn water into wine you run to the beach telling your tour group you’re going to show that Peter dummy how that whole ‘walking on water’ thing works. Spoiler alert: you make more splashing sounds then a drowning victim.

So really the only answer as to why you could be in Israel is because you must be on a goodwill tour of the middle east because I can’t think about you on a tour of the Holy Land without laughing really hard. It’s good though since you’re now into giving back and charity and such because if anyone can bring peace to the middle east, it’s you with some Calvin Kleins under your caftan.

Kellan is my Shepherd, I shall not want,
Themoonisdown

So I guess the VMA’s happened last night. But if the trinity wasn’t there to make it awkward or present a clip from their home videos from their summer vacay them I’m not interested. Anything I missed? But really, why is Kellan in Israel? Ideas?

Thanks EclipseMovie.org via GossipCop

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

56 Commented

Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Ashley and Kellan… let’s not make this awkward

Oh hey Jackson, we're just going to play board games...

Dear Ashley and Kellan,

I was just perusing the pictures of you two in Women’s Health Magazine. Besides the fact that I love how much you love women Kellan: the Twicons, the Mammogram videos, shoots for WOMEN’S Health Magazine, it just seems like Ashley called you up and asked you to come “help out” and hang with her for the afternoon because someone else wasn’t available or she was bored. I do just love you and Ashley together but I have one question… does it ever get awkward? I mean between you two… you both say you’re such great friends and you hang out and have board game nights (people after my own heart!) and whatever but what happens when you’re on these shoots and your hand’s like right near the “kill zone” and what do you say when you know Ashley tells people if she was stranded on a deserted island with only one cast member she’d choose JACKSON. The catfish, Jackson and not super hot, Jesus lovin’ Kellan? And Ashley why are you waiting around for super whore Jackson? He’s too busy touring in a band with a dude in a banana costume to come to game night! Stop waiting by the phone!

So are you guys friends… friends with benefits… beards (ahem)… or maybe it’s just you’re both who you call when the one you really want isn’t available. AnnaLynn’s sluttin’ it up around town doing whatever she does and Jackson sluttin’ it up around the US “on tour” with the 100 Monkeys or pushing Airbender and trying not to get killed in a protest about how it’s racist. I know UC and I almost were outside the Arclight last week.

I mean look at these…

Wait, we’re just friends right?

“I love Jesus and Ashley… I mean AnnaLynn… and Jesus”

Hey Kellan, can you wheel that thing over here faster I gotta meet up with Jackson in like an hour.

You wanna be on a deserted island with WHO?

Now I definitely know you can just be friends with someone but if either of you ever suggests spin the bottle or 7 minutes in heaven or hid the salami at the next friendly board game night it might be time to DTR. Just Sayin’.

Your friend with no benefits,
Themoonisdown

So what IS with these two? Sure they say they’re friends but I don’t know if that’s the vibe I get. And HOT DAMN Kellan! Whew. Happy weekend to us all!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

58 Commented

Hey Twilight Saga Unknowns, who ARE you?

Wait, you don't know who I am? I was in the made-for-tv movie "The Linda McCartney Story"

*Recently I received this email from our good friend Lula…*

Moon,

Today, while reading Sci-Fi magazine (don’t judge, you know my love of the Science Fiction), I discover an enormous, really languorous interview with Kristen Prout.

KRISTEN PROUT?

And then I see all these pics from Eclipse.  WTF?  Oh, OK…she’s playing Lucy. Wait?  Which backstory vampire is Lucy? Then she mentions Jackson (a-ha!  She’s part of Jasper’s past!) and how he’s amazing and super professional and how she loved working with him and that’s when I realized… I have no idea whom this girl is.  Until the article, I’d never heard her name.  She is adorable, but she looks like every Hollywood wannabe, even though she’s Canadian. BUT…
.

Why did this magazine devote an entire 3 page interview with this girl, who basically said nothing of interest in it?  I’d have rather read about Julia Jones…or freaking Xavier!
.

and
.

Would it be ridiculous to take bets on whether we think Jackson bedded her? OK, yes.  It would.  He loves him some blonde-headed Lucy.  Numerous times.
.

Hello…

first Boo-Boo and now Kristen Prout?  Please write a letter…”Dear Unknowns in Eclipse…WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE?”
.

xoxo,

Me

Alright, Lula… why not?

Who's that girl pushing Ashley out of picture? Why it's majorly important character HEIDI!

Dear Twilight Saga Unknowns (let’s widen the net shall we),

Who the hale are you people? My friend Lula brings up a great point. It’s like you’re the person at the High School reunion that’s talking to everyone yet no one actually knows or remembers you or can even find a picture of you in their old yearbook when they go home that night. Where did this person come from and why are they the life of the party now? This is you guys and we don’t understand.

Remember last summer when the casting of Heidi was made into a HUGE deal?! Yes, who would play the human “fisher” for the Volturi Vampires?” THIS IS not A BIG DEAL! (HIT IT!!) Would it be AnnaLynn McCord, would it be a Canadian unknown cast from Vancouver? Nope, it was a model name Noot Seer who ended up getting the part and then consequently appeared in a Glamour spread with actual above the line actors from the saga. Why? You had ONE LINE in New Moon!

BooBoo and his sister who's apparently attached to his hip at some Cupcake event

Then of course there’s poor BooBoo Stewart who seems to be caught in some sort of weird showbiz mom slash brother and sister “any publicity is good publicity” situation. Anytime I see a tweet from “mamarazzi” I imagine BooBoo’s mom as one of those moms from Toddlers and Tiaras who stands in the back and mouths the words and mimic the choreography their kid is supposed to be doing on stage. Poor, poor BooBoo. This kid’s been peddling his schtick harder than a whore at the end of the mouth trying to make rent. All those events and he didn’t even make it onto the Wolfpack version of the Eclipse movie poster. BURN. But still everywhere I look I see this kid, Bop Magazine’s up-and-coming teen stars, a TwiCon in Fargo, North Dakota, an autograph session in Vancouver (what DID he autograph I ask you!), and he’ll probably cut the ribbon at the grand opening of a Mimi’s Cafe in El Paso, Texas next week. Why not?

Then there’s the lady who will play Sue Clearwater, Jack Hudson as Royce King, a lady named Catalina Sandino Moreno who’s playing Maria, and about a billion others  and of course how can we forget Solomon Trimble? The original “Why the hell are you?” cast member.

NEVER FORGET. Hold on, what is GOldie Hawn doing with Sol Trimble? Was this an "Overboard" fan event?

Now I understand that being cast in a Twilight movie is sorta a big deal, but do you really need to hit the Twicon tours before the movie you’re in is actually out? Or do we need to hear your take on David Slade’s directing style or that 5 seconds you saw Rob in the catering tent and your resulting miscalculations of his personality as he made a PB&J sammy? No. As Peter Fachinelli wanted to tell the nomad vamps in Twilight: “slow your roll.” For serious.  However, if the Amazon Coven shows up at the opening of my mall’s Yankee Candle store, I’m gonna have more than words with someone and definitely a bunch of delicious candles.

Off to read that interview with the dude who is yet to be cast as Nahuel,
Themoonisdown

PS Ridiculous, Lula? Never. They defs got it on at least once, after a 100 Monkeys show when her ears were bleeding so bad she couldn’t understand whether he was asking her to go home with him or to the hospital. Needless to say Jackson’s hotel room does NOT have emergency medical equipment in it.

What do you think of all these random’s jumping on the bandwagon? Do you really want to read something about Jack Hudson or watch a video with Solomon Trimble? Ok, bad example I want to see EVERYTHING Solomon is in.

Don’t forget we’re running an LTT/LTR merch giveaway that’s open ALL WEEK to celebrate our brand new digs here. Make sure you leave a comment to be entered! And why not head over to the store now and figure out what you want!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

184 Commented

9021-ho

Dear girl rumored to be shagging Kellan but then got in a fight with him on New Years Eve because you kissed some other dude while Kellan was hosting the party-

Ashley is NOT impressed.

Neither is his youth Group.

<3
Me (themoonisdown)

*UPDATE- apparently it’s the other way around and kellan was caught by perm-head kissing some other girl. NAUGHTY! Well can you blame me? I read so much twi stuff online it’s hard to keep it all straight. Nevertheless it still stands ASHLEY IS NOT IMPRESSED*

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