Breaking it down: McAdams loves Sheen and some other Twilight news

Dear LTT-ers,

Michael Sheen and Rachel McAdams are an item. I KNOW! And then Tinsel tweeted Gil. Right? And then we told some jokes. And then we broke it down… SURPRISE. So if you haven’t been over to LTR today then let me be the first to tell you this is a double break down day! We hit Rob and now we’re hitting half the cast of Twilight over here… enjoy!

Moon: DUDE we need to talk about micheal sheen with rachel mcadams cause….DAAAAMN SON!!
UC: YES let’s break THAT shizz down!
Moon: ok theres a video i watched last night and im treying to find it
UC: sex vid?
Moon: hahaha dont we wish
UC: haha… ONLY if it’s her and The Gos
Moon: that would blow the robsten magicness out of the water… but whatever theres the proof… can we talk about how he SCORED! i mean hellllooooo rachel mcadams and it says he was with kate beckinsale before this! DUDE
UC: I KNOW.. what is UP with Michael!? Magical British PeeN? Wait WELSH… he’s WELSH
Moon: magic WELSH peen who knew?? so im think rachel is a HUGE closet twihard, right?
UC: oh HUGE
Moon: and shes just using micheal for either a chance at being in breaking dawn or a chance at getting closer to rob
UC: its’ what she talks about with michael (and Kate’s) daughter Lily it’s the ONLY reasonable explanation. or to steal something from Lily’s collection
Moon: thats their bonding time, breaking down breaking dawn with an 11 yr old
UC: she has Mike’s cape, signed by Stephenie
Moon: do you think she makes micheal wear his long aro wig when they have sexy times? cause she likes the OLD vamps?
UC: Yes She does that move from the Notebook and he pulls off her panty hose then she pulls his hair
UC: clearly I’ve read a fic….Say IT OUTLOUD she yells in a passionate moment, then he does-

BELLER IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

UC: BELLER IS ALIVE!
Moon: BELLER IS ALIVE!
Moon: Jinx!! this is our next fic we write we only do real life fics
UC: please write a mini one for tomorrow
Moon: cause we’re twisted… hhahaha NO

The one where we talk about the Notebook
Moon: if this is a secret plot to get into breaking dawn, who does she want to be????
UC: Tanya is taken… and that’s who I’d guess
Moon: Renesmee??? she has to be team jacob she heard they were using CGI stuff so why not?
UC: Right she’s got a young innocent face
Moon: then her and jacob can be all notebook noah and allie in the ocean at first beach

UC: yes- Jake can get a canoe out on the ocean. And it’s the Pacific northwest- it’s bound to rain

Ruff ruff!

Moon: right and he’s like i just want to show you one thing… and it’s a ton of werewolves swimming in the ocean since he couldnt get geese
UC: doing the doggie paddle
Moon: i hope BooBoo can swim
UC: hahah i just heard krazy kidd saying that in my head
BOW BOW
Moon: hahahabobo hahahaa

Follow the cut for the rest of our break down
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Breaking it Down: Meeting the Meyer, special hugs and SLOW CLAPS!

Dear LTT-ers,

Up until now it’s all seemed like a a dream. We really didn’t meet Stephenie and she really didn’t answer our questions, and we’ve just imagined all of this… but I think it’s now finally starting to sink in. At least now we’re starting to remember more and more of what happened. We even started breaking down some of the questions we asked Stephenie last Thursday and her answers (FINALLY!)…

Pretty much exactly what I looked like

Slow Clap or The Fraser Clap?
UC: I keep thinking of things that happened on Friday and then wondering if I’m making them up because or if it was for real. Like… when she told us she reads LTT every day- was that in a hushed tone like she was telling us a secret (or she was embarrassed) or does everything sound hushed when you’re so beet red after a Best-selling author tells you SHE reads what YOU write?
Moon: i dont know, i couldnt hear anything after i totally embarrassed myself with my semi-tard/brenden fraser clap (REMIX!) when she said she read us every day. i was 2nd embarrassed for myself
UC: you clapped? did you give us a slow clap & I missed it?
Moon: i did some sort of weird hand clap, grab i remember
UC: haha… i’m picturing you like Lumiere from Beauty & the Beast, how he shakes hands from side to side.
Moon: yea maybe i stood up (higher) and gave us a slow clap… then slowly everyone else got up and clapped because if we learned anything from the 80s, you cant resist a slow clap!
UC: right- no one knew what happened. It didn’t matter. When a slow clap starts, you don’t question- you just join in
Moon: you slowly stand and stop eating your muffin (twss) and you clap

*Begins Slow Clap*

UC: OR maybe it was  like Michael sheen when he claps his hands together when he says “Ah Beller is alive and well”
Moon: i defs quoted that when we talked about what a rockstar micheal sheen was
UC: haha… Beller is alive & well, Stephenie Meyer reads LTT *Slow Clap*
Moon: and then someone got their head and arms ripped off but i blocked that out. i went and got a slice of melon and a piece of bacon instead.
UC: there was BACON? were we at the same event?
Moon: you have to bring a sacrifice to lay at her feet when you meet. it’s just the rules
UC: i have no recollection of you sitting next to me eating a disgusting pig
Moon: yes there was bacon!!
a YUMMY pig
UC: oh dang- I vaguely remember an omelet bar too
Moon: bacon is a “gift from the gods” like jacob in new moon! TWI NERD QUOTE OF THE DAY! WINNER!
UC: but my 1/2 a strawberry seemed much more appetizing. Dude I’m a VEGETARIAN like the Cullens. That’s nasty
Moon: if thats the case im hanging out with the bad vamps!
UC: You get Bree & Fred.
Moon: ef that vegetarian nonsense. BACON is where it’s at
UC: I’ll take Edward
Moon: AND they have riley aka xaiver

Yea, we want to special hug him too

The one where Stephenie might want to special hug Xavier
UC: oh yes- let’s discuss that… how Stephenie is a major fan of Xavier and his hotness
Moon: duuuuude arent we all?! but she seemed like a special fan… who wants to give him special hugs… get in line BIOTCH!
UC: right- I’d say there was a special place in her heart for Xavier
Moon: she talked about his casting tape right?? and how she gave killing off riley a 2nd thought after seeing xavier
UC: I saw it in her eyes- I mean. I saw it bounced off your hair, which was in my view of her eyes MAD FACE yes- I think so. I have no idea. Did we make that up? Did this interview actually happen?
Moon: hey we’re besties, we gotta sit next to each other. I can’t help it if Stephenie Meyer wants to sit next to me at brunch!
UC: she said he sent in an audition tape to the casting lady and she nEVER looks at videos through the way Xavier sent it through- but she did… ? Therefore, I’m pretty sure Stephenie was hinting that everyone who is anyone should bombard the casting agent with videos- guaranteed placement

Forgive us Stephenie, we have sinned... impure thoughts... about Edward Cullen (your new wallpaper!)

The one where we get all Biblical
Moon: so anyhoo because we were fashionably (read: frantically trying to find the room) late there were only 2 seats left and where were those?!
UC: and I, being the lovelier of the two, let you sit next to Stephenie. I took one for the team (mostly I’m just gonna use this for when we meet Rob. I’m on his lap, bitch)
Moon: please bitch i raced around to get that one
UC: i know.. you shoved me pretty hard. i have a big bruise
Moon: the elbow to your throat knocked you out for a few minutes but you came back around when i pulled out the Rob smelling salts (GQ pictures I keep handy just got moments like this) BUT can we just talk about how we sat at the RIGHT hand of stephenie. it’s biblical
UC: SO Biblical!
Moon: the right hand of the father or mother superior as it were we’re freaking John!
Moon: i wont guess which one of the fansites was judas 😉

Follow the cut for our EPIC first question!
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243 Commented

Twilight Word Vomit: A TwiVomit

Dear Twilight,

So much has been going on lately and I’m having Twilight overload in my brain and all the processing my mind is doing of the new information is coming out in the form of a major word vomit- A Twi-vomit if you will:

1.   Twilight Google

Finally!  I’ve been looking for the perfect place to learn how to have sex with vampires. My search is now over! A perfectly useless web search “powered by google” but worse than google is the answer! (I did a quick calculation and if you figure $10 for the domain registration, plus the hosting fees & all the time it took to create, I’d say this was a waste of time and a waste of a the perfect amount of money for which one could buy 3 – 3 1/2 cupcakes.)

2.   Rachelle hugs a Rob pillow

Hi. You’re gorgeous. I wish we could be friends. And secondly, that Rob pillow? That’s brilliant. I love the irony in you holding it tight. The only thing that would have been more amazing is if Rob had held it. Or no- Kristen- If they shot Kristen kissing the Rob pillow- Brilliant.

3.   Kellan- The RastifariaHobo

Dude! Moon didn’t share this piece of info with you all during her Comic-Con recap because she had “pacifico regret,” but she sent me a picture of a guy she danced with to Thriller on the dance floor of the Irish pub and later played tonsil hockey with outside of the bar*, AND IT WAS THIS GUY! Kellan dressed-up!!!!!!!! I mean.. I think. The picture she sent had a guy like this.. uh, his hair may have been longer… and he wasn’t in a thrift-store looking peacoat… and his ski cap was kinda different. Oh never mind. I shouldn’t have said anything….

4.   Stephen Moyer from True Blood calls Edward Cullen a “pussy” (and he doesn’t mean a cat)

Um. I love you Bill Compton, I do. But I love Edward Cullen more. Cuz Edward doesn’t do it with his girl after climbing naked out of a hole in the ground. Edward doesn’t sleep in the ground. Edward doesn’t sleep. And wait! The whole point of this word vomit was to talk about how LAMMMEEEE it is that people are comparing True Blood and Twilight and asking Stephen Moyer what he thinks of Edward Cullen in the first place. They are NOT the same. Twilight is NOT a vampire story. I don’t even like vampires! So Stephen, I heart you as Bill, and Rob, I heart you as Rob (oh and as Edward). End of story.

5. The new Volturi picture leaked

And I’m not posting it but have instead included this cartoon of the Volturi that looks like a Weasley twin, two Snapes & a Malfoy for your viewing pleasure (you can see the real photo here) If you want to know my real opinion on the Volturi (of course you do) I’m lovin’ it. No… I didn’t get out my copy of New Moon (because I’m going to hear Bobby Long perform tonight in Philly and I have it packed for him to sign) to check and see if they look anything like Stephenie’s descriptions because, gosh, I don’t care that much! I just want them to look scary to increase my viewing experience- AND THEY DO! Moon thinks Marcus looks like “death personified” while I think he looks a little like “Count Von Count” from Sesame Street (who scared the crap out of me when I was a child- so good job, Summit!) Moon thinks that Aro looks sooo much like Legolas’ uncle from Lord of the Rings and Alec looks like a kid in her neighborhood she wants to punch. I agreed with The Danger Magnet’s comparision of Alec and Zac Efron- Vampfron we’ll call him. And no one can deny that Caius is clearly the ghey vampire. And I’m shocked- Jane looks amazing. I thought she’d pull it off, but not that well! Great job Chris Weitz! Another thing I’m in love with you for: CountVamp, ElvenVamp, Vampfron, GayVamp and HotUnderageVamp!

6. Bryce Dallas Howard to replace Rachelle Lefevre as Victoria

Moon & I may have heard a rumor due to a facebook friend earlier yesterday that a new actress was going to play the role of “Victoria” in Twilight. We thought, “Um, that’s odd. Since Rachelle is Victoria.” But not so much. Bryce Dallas Howard is apparently taking over the role of Victoria for Eclipse.  “They” say that Rachelle has a scheduling conflict, but I’m gonna bet $5 that she’s preggers. Because nobody and I mean nobody does a Paul Giamatti movie over a Robert Pattinson movie**

Vomit over,
UnintendedChoice

*false
**sarcasm

Did Moon blow your mind over on LTR today? I bet she did

Talk about Rachelle’s possible ‘baby bump’ over on The Forum

Thanks for Lauren from Lauren’s Bite for inspiring this word vomit-style blog post x

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The Twilight Saga makes me speak my mind

Dear Twilight lovers,

In the style of our dear friend Lauren from Lauren’s Bite, I am going to speak my mind about some recent things I’ve seen or heard, all in 8 words or less:

1. Loving the Jackson-Kristen handhold, need more Rob.

2. Probably shouldn’t have mentioned going to Italy. Creepedherout*

Fan meets Kristen Stewart in bathroom

*yes that was nine words.. so? it deserved it.

3. Hells no they ain’t paying Aro £5mil

Source

4. I’ve got nothing. Couldn’t watch past 1st song

5. Rachelle, be my bff. You are so gorgeous

found on New Moon Movie

Kristen says, “Hoppy Easter”

Love,

UnintendedChoice

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