The VILF deconstructed by Stacey and Stacey

(Today Stacey – Snowwhitedrifted or West Coast (WC) and Stacey East Coast (EC) take on the VILF’s we’d love to marry, hit it or just stare at and why they’re so alluring. – moon)

Goose and Maverick the Edward and Jasper of the 80s

Dear VILFS of Twilight (and other series),

In the eighties it was surfers and beach volleyball players. In the nineties it was athletes and firemen. The new millennium, however, boasts vampires as the most coveted object of desire for the female gender. Vampire sex appeal is at an all time high. I think this is partially due to the monster success of Twilight as well as some other factors.

EC Stacey: Wait. Are we getting serious here? The tweed kind of serious. Let me throw on these Kate Spade glasses. Alice approved, ya’ll. Hold on wearing an old David Letterman tee-shirt and Yoga pants, must change into designer…never mind. At least I got the glasses. Okay, Stacey (SWD) commence with your thoughts.

WC Stacey/ SWD: Many people claim that the vampire-ness of Twilight is insignificant and it’s totally a love story. Sure, the Cullens are like the passivist emo-hippies of the vamp world, but they still kick ass, nonetheless.

EC Stacey: Ha ha! I want them to wear tie dyed clothes and beads. Actually, do you think Carlisle and Esme got so sad after the Eclipse fight scene that they wanted to cry, but can’t. So they went back to Casa Carlisle and got all emo listening to Morrisey? Whoops! Got off track. Sexy vampire boys, yay!

Rob and Moz - My wildest fantasies realized! Thanks Fablife!

WC Stacey/ SWD: Morrisey, for the WIN, ha ha ha! I wouldn’t have liked it as much without the vampire aspect. You see, I have been a VILF shipper since I was a kid (duh, the Count (ECStacey: Grover, definitely Grover. Monster. Grr.) was my favorite Seasame Street character), so it was no wonder that Edward (and Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, James, hell even Aro) glamoured the pants off of me. I think this is true for a lot of women. When we break down the characteristics of a vampire, it’s no wonder we offer our necks (ok, and lady bits) willingly.

EC Stacey: Let me get this straight, Aro? I love the Michael Sheen, as much as everybody in the whole world. But Aro? If you said Alec, maybe. Even a creeptastic girl crush on Jane. I want to see that bottle of wine you are drinking. As expected, wine goggles. SWD: OK, note to self, wine in a box enhances wine goggles. If I were drinking “Bitch” wine maybe I’d go fake lesbian for Alice

What Rob's cheek bone structure looks like

WC Stacey/ SWD: Lets start with the fact that Vampires are HOT, well cold actually, but in the looks department they are always stunning. I think every actor born with incredible checkbones signs a deal with the devil to one day play a vampire. Seriously, you could grate cheese on Robs cheekbones (*note to someone, please make that as dirty as possible in the comments).

EC Stacey: Ahh…Rob’s cheekbones… Back on track. I don’t want to leave out the wolves/shifters for you wolfpackers. This might be hard to believe my friends, due to the fact I have a Sophie’s Choice type of love for both Twilight’s Edward and Vampire Diaries Damon. (And yes, I voted for BOTH of them in EW’s Sexy Beast poll. Don’t you judge me.) Originally, I loved the wolf. Seth Green’s OZ on Buffy the Vampire Slayer was my first true supe love. I even married his younger twin. Of course, he’s an accountant and not a rocking guitar player, but I can pretend. SWD: I married Fletch, he has no powers. Also, have you seen Alcide and Sam on True Blood? Nice. Twilight? Jacob’s a buff baby. Okay, Paul’s hot.

WC Stacey/ SWD: So yes, Vampires and Werewolves are beautiful. See exhibit A: (slide show mildly NSFW, mostly because it’s both hands embarrassing)

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UC & Moon: Bring it on

Dear LTT readers,

I know it seems SO romantic. Two girls meet at music school and don’t become friends. Years later they reconnect randomly online. Their friendship grows slowly and then intensifies over a shared passion for a vampire love story and its leading man. One day that passion turns into a blog to be shared with “one or two close friends.” And ten and 1/2 months later we’ve become UC & Moon- former frenemies turned creative partners. Countless hours, laughs & tears turned an idea from a boring December day at work into a community we both love & are proud of. Great story, right? Yeah, it’s not that perfect. You see, Moon & I clash. We fight. We stamp our feet. We throw temper tantrums. We act like kids when we don’t get our way. We aren’t former frenemies for no reason. We don’t want to hide this from you. We feel like we’re painting a picture of perfection that is so untrue. So today we bring you: UC & Moon: Bring it on

Brooke: Are you guys excited that your teams are playing each other today?
UC: duh of course. I’ve been texting “Bring it” to Moon every 5 minutes
Moon: And my auto response I’ve set up is “OH it’s already been broughten!”
UC: it’s getting pretty intense up in here
Moon: Just the way we like it! Can you feel the tremors of my teams rage?!
UC: But we all know at the end of the day, my team wins
Brooke: so who do you think will win? What’s your team got that the other doesn’t?
UC: Duh. Mine sparkles
Moon: Eff the sparkles! We can play any time of the day! All your team throws are glitter bombs, we’ve got heat
Brooke: Ugh, guys.. wait a sec—
UC: Well, mine has a PERFECT body (not to mention is of LEGAL age)
Moon: We’ve got social security cards and birth dates that were issued within the past 2 decades
UC: We don’t die
Moon: we won’t break!
UC: We make tweed look HOT
Moon: We mend in like 5 minutes
UC: We don’t need to mend
Moon: We ROCK JORTS like no ones every rocked a pair of cut off denim shorts
UC: We don’t need to BATHE
Moon: well thats just gross

You should see us in Jorts

Brooke: UC? Moon?
UC: At the end of the day WE get the girl. ON isle Esme. We DO it with her. MANY TIMES (wow. I am a girl and i just said that) Uh….scratch that
Moon: we have tattoos!
UC: We have a crest and the girls get it dyed on their hoo ha
Moon: you are gay
UC: You are small and smell like a wet dog
Moon: small? We’re like 6’7″
UC: Yeah whatever
Moon: you look UP to us
UC: You hang out with a pack of BOYS and a potentially lesbian girl. YOU’RE the gay one
Moon: YOU’RE A VIRGIN and have been for 100 years
UC: YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH A CHILD and should be thrown in jail. Not to mention it’s MY Team’s Child. That we made. When we BANGED your former love

Brooke: GIRLS

Find out who wins the fight (I do) after the jump! Continue…

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Our top ten favorite moments in Twilight, the movie

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Twihards, lovers and haters of this site,

Today is another big day in the life of us here at LTT. Yes, you might have guessed it but today marks our TEN MONTH anniversary. Now not to get all high school relationship on you but we think blogging solid for ten months is a big deal. Countless hours, love, conversations, text messages, good ideas, really bad ideas (trust me, there are tons), blood sweat and tears have gone into these ten months so UC and I want to celebrate this week. In honor of our ten month anniversary we are going to be bringing you a new top ten list every day this week to celebrate and look towards the next ten!

So to kick off our top tens I’m gonna start us off with Top Ten Favorite Twilight Movie Moments! All the little things, the good and the sometimes cheesy things that we loved and couldn’t imagine living without. All the moments that we wanted to see make it in, the ones we didn’t know and the ones that made us fall in love with the story all over again… here they are

10. The Cullen’s enter the Cafeteria

The set up for the whole movie: who are those kids and why are they different and most importantly WHO IS THAT BOY? Why yes, it’s only the hottest boy to ever grace the United States public school system, that’s who. And he just happens to be a Vampire. Ok wait, she’ll learn that later… let’s not get ahead of ourselves now!

09. Animal Attack

Oh Carlisle you kill us with the delivery of that line coupled with the totally obvious stare down you give Edward. Yup, it was totally an animal that killed Buttcrack Santa and not some crazy psycho nomadic vampire that’s going to develop some weirdo fascination with Bella and stop at nothing to kill her. Yup, totes an animal.

Wanna find out what else made our top ten list of favorite Twilight Movie Moments? Follow the cut…
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This is how you found us? Vol. 4

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR’ers and googlers-

My how time flies! It’s already June and we missed one of our favorite reoccuring posts: “This is how you found us?!” in May. For those of us just joining in on the fun, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And May did NOT dissappoint, seriously these are some of the best we’ve seen. So without further adieu… This Is How You Found Us??!!

Where robert pattinson hangs out – You want to know my address? Or the 24hr taco joint down the street from his hotel?

Twlight edward eyes pillow case – It’s creepy trust me, but also totally awesome to scare your visiting co-blogger with when they wake up!

The Tuck Pattinson – is this Rob’s new nickname? Forget spunk ransom, it’s now officially Robert “The Tuck” Pattinson

Abstinence – Well, you’ve come to the right place… we’re totally saving ourselves for our wedding night with Robert Pattinson… and Jackson Rathbone… and Kellan Lutz… aaaannnddd… ok well maybe abstinence isn’t the term…

Buy Pattinsons wardrobe – this will cost you all of 4.75, to get his look all you need is whatever you wore in 9th grade and then access to either a Goodwill thrift store or movie Wardrobe dept. for a couple extra holey tshirts every 6 months. (This might be in my favorite top 5 things anyone’s every googled and found us! What else can you say about the genius of this?)

Robert Pattinson birthday gift from Kellan – I’m guessing either a personalized copy of The Purpose Driven Life signed by Rick Warren, or an ex-small purple wifebeater

Wig for new moon – NOT THIS ONE! If this is your New Moon Hair Dept, we are NOT happy. FYI

What is robert pattinson doing for his birthday – Well besides us, maybe about 29 shots of Jameson, smoke a whole pack and then hide in his room from you freaks.

www.jet-porno.ru – is this some kinky mile-high club shiz?? (check it at your own risk i have NO idea what that is)

funny lesbian birthday wishes – I’m not sure but maybe we can ask KStew and NReed for some ideas? Unless they’re not talking to each other now since that whole messy faux break up we’ve created in our minds happened.

Buttcrack school – Dude, Buttcrack Santa is teaching? Where do I sign up? Prof. Santa!

Follow the cut for more hilarious, scary and just plain weird googles! Trust me it just keeps getting better!
Continue…

43 Commented

Jackson and the bat… need I say more?

Dear Jackson-

Now that the DVD is out I spent a good 30 minutes this weekend watching and re-watching that bit in the baseball scene where you’re up to bat and you do that cool bat flippy trick (technical term). I even sat there with it in slow mo cause it was totally hot. Then I noticed NReed in the background of your shot trying to do the same thing. And I wanted to yell at her “Stop it BIOTCH, you’re being distracting, this is Jackson’s moment stop ef-ing around!” But she didn’t listen.

(try not to wear this out toooo much)

I don’t know what it is about the scene that makes it so hot… must be something about knowing how to handle a bat…ahem… or maybe it takes me back to those high school days when I would sit in the stands eating sunflower seeds gossiping and crushing hard on the baseball team. And maybe a particular player named Hank who would later come to ask me out and I would tell him I couldn’t go out because it was my birthday! (I’m also dumb). But that is neither here nor there. I was young and stupid, don’t judge! Who knows what it is about that bat scene. But whatever it is… keep doing it Jackson!

Oh and I can’t wait for the Bella birthday scene in New Moon. Bite Kristen… HARD!

You can handle my uh… bat… uh anyday. Yea…
Themoonisdown

PS after the cut a gratuitous amount of jasper/jackson gifs to really help speed Tuesday along

PPS HUGE thanks to Twitter gals: dreamrevelry, MsJBell, tasha0529, starsfall, Twilight_Series and tabs07 for helping me find these goodies!

PPSS meant to add this in before but if you are creatively inclined please head over to Twilight Tuesday where this week’s challenge is who else?? Mr. Jasper. Twilight Tuesday

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