Reasons why we should care that BD wins the day at MTV movie awards.

Dear Breaking Dawn Part 1,

Let’s be honest… we’re all Hunger Games fans right? And we liked Harry Potter even though it seems like that was out ages ago. And DUH Bridesmaids it the world’s best gift to movie making, so the fact that you’re up against these 3 movies for Best Picture at the MTV Movie Awards this year is tough. Oh yeah, plus The Help. Which really seems too good to be up for a popcorn award, but I digress.

So no matter what movie wins, it’ll be a good night (unless The Help wins which would be weird), but I’ve compiled  some reasons why we should care that Breaking Dawn Part 1 should win all the MTV movie awards it’s up for this year:

1) We want to see which TGIF character Rob comes dressed as this year (Remember Uncle Jesse Rob? Have Mercy)

2) ROBSTEN KISS.
Duh. Who doesn’t want to see them almast kiss for the gazillionth time? (ME!) And you KNOW we can’t miss the tweets from both sides proclaiming how “FAKE” they are or how they should just “DO IT” on stage to prove to the haters that their love is real. I just hope an audience member is smart enough to smuggle in their bear-skin rug to throw up on stage in case the mood is right.

EPIC Copstache

3) Unlike the other movies, we have copstaches in our movie. And copstaches should always win.

4) Our movie doesn’t start with an H, and therefore should just win by default

5) Rob is in also in the Harry Potter series which should give Breaking Dawn Part 1 two chances to win. Better chance= automatic win (LTT rules of life are so much better than normal rules of life)

6) And you thought Edward & Jasper’s hair was weird. Have you SEEN the hairstyles in The Hunger Games?

7) It would really be unfortunate to have every housewife/aunt/grandma/mom on earth coming after J Lawrence when Katniss beats out Bella, right?

8) Breaking Dawn is the only story focused on a love story out of the 5. And by “love story” I mean it’s the only movie with headboard-breaking sex.

9) Without the Twilight fandom, there would BE no Hunger Games fandom (Thank you Stephenie Meyer!)

Twilight 4 the win! Down with the capital!!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Green is Good. So are golden onions

So seriously: Robsten needs that almost-kiss & it would be sad to give Twilight a send out without a win, right?

Vote for Best Kiss: http://bit.ly/BD1MTVBK

Vote for Best Picture: http://bit.ly/BDMOTY

And life will be good. Very good. Like as good as green. Because, you know, green is, what? Goooood….

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Oh it’s here: The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1 – aka the longest movie title ever- DVD release

Make sure you get the "Special Edition" cuz I hear there's a Robsten Sex Tape in the extras

Dear Twilight,

In celebration of the Breaking Dawn Part 1 DVD release tonight I thought we’d do something we haven’t done since New Moon or Twilight. (Sorry Eclipse, we forgot you) A Twilight Drinking Game.

Yes, it’s that time again. Time to stand in line outside in the freezing cold at the Target at midnight, waiting, not for a 72″ TV on sale for $29.99, but for a DVD that you could just get at 9 am the next morning (because there is no way Target is gonna run out of DVDs.) It’s time to gather your Twi-girlfriends together, kick the kids & the men out of the house, grab the special Twilight cups you keep just for this occasion (Red Solo Cups. (“I fill you up.”)) and make those snacks you call “Twilight Bites” that are really just an excuse to make double fudge chocolate brownies. It’s that one night a year you can let your girlfriends into that room you have permanently decorated as the Cullen’s House but let them think you hired a decorator just for the DVD party. You can take your Life-sized Jacob & Edward cardboard cut outs into the living space of your home instead of where they are safely packed away (on the floor on your side of the bed.. shhh don’t tell the mister) And yes, you can play “pin the (insert whatever you want) on Edward’s (insert preferred PG, PG-13 or R rated body part)”

But it wouldn’t be a Twilight party without a drinking game to go along with the DVD. So I give you:

Letters to Twilight’s The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1 Drinking Game

First

– Take a drink if you can say the proper title to the latest Twilight movie without stumbling.

Now Start the Movie
– Take a drink every time you wish Charlie was your dad
– Take a drink when you erase that first thought & wish you could get it on with Charlie

– Take a drink every time you get that gooey feeling inside when Edward is on screen & you want to scream or shriek like you’re in the theater at midnight
– Do a shot with every toast at the wedding. Double shot when Anna Kendrick speaks
– Do a shot every time you hear a song from an earlier film
– With every inappropriate smile that Bella gives Jake, drink!

– Drink every time something makes you think of LTT (so basically every Robsten scene)
– During the Edward & Bella scenes (so basically the whole movie) drink whenever you think of a Robsten joke you or someone on LTT once made. Double fist if it’s about the bear-skin rug
– Drink if you find yourself humming “Breathe me”
– Take a BIG gulp the minute you realize you’re watching the scene where Jumping Rob was birthed
– Drink every time you miss Buttcrack Santa
– Every time you think, “Oh They practiced that!” Drink!

– Do a shot every time you get feel icky about imprinting
– As Rosalie gets scarier as the film progresses, drink. Extra points if you sing the song Nikki Reed’s husband sang at the end of American Idol (wait, did he win AI?)

-Close your eyes, hold your ears and CHUG the bottle when Bella’s back breaks, she goes down & gets torn apart. You won’t survive that scene sober
-Drink every time you want to cry because it’s so emotional & beautiful & Bella & Edward are having much better sex than you are. Or because the saga is almost over. (By now you should be drinking out of the bottle because you’re crying so hard because we’ve gotten you so drunk up to this point)

Think of Me

-Do a shot in Chris Hansen’s honor the EXACT minute Jacob imprints
– Drink if you or someone in your group says “WHERE IS THE CHRISTINA PERRY SONG?”
– BONUS Throw a drink in the face of whoever says “I KNEW it would end like this”

Yay!! Now you’re good & drunk! Eat more brownies! Make out with Cardboard cut out Edward! Make Cardboard Jacob kiss Cardboard Edward! Write some Robsten Fan Fic! Whatever!! You’re having Fun!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Wanna Reminisce? Twilight Drinking Game & New Moon Drinking Game

So who is excited? Are you going to one of the Target midnight release parties? I’ll be away from Philly visiting my sister in Pittsburgh so I doubt I’ll make it to one, but I’ll be thinking of you all. Please tweet me the amazing things you see at your release party!   Oh Yeah- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYLOR LAUTNER (Tomorrow) You were MUCH more fun when you were underage and/or seen out at Olive Garden more often.

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Breaking Dawn Part I: The Musical

As a reminder- there are auto-playing video ads on LTT. I know. We’re so annoying. Mute them & they’ll stay muted for life. Hit the volume button- two in the side bar. Two (or 3 I forget) down below.

Dear LTTers,

We have these friends Alice & Bella Not an Addikt (You remember them from their defunct website. RIP) who live in Belgium. They’re normal 20-somethings- ya know, speak 4 languages (or is 5?), in PhD programs (I think Alice is done hers actually. And Bella was “too busy” defending her dissertation last week to get this video done for us) are gorgeous, friendly, bring me macaroons when they visit me in New York on hot Spring days and are about to BLOW YOUR FREAKIN’ MINDS with what they did for us at LTT.

Yes, Bella & Alice are bringing us Breaking Dawn Part 1: The Musical complete with original lyrics set to Broadway favorites. Stop what you’re doing. Put down that contract you’re combing through at your boring desk job. Drop that kid. Pull that car over on the side of the road (seriously, don’t read LTT while driving) and Watch This Now:

We know. We cried too! Feed the wolves? Don’t cry for me Jacob Black? Who is that rediculously brilliant & funny? Is this a sign we should retire from LTT & give our Belgian friends the reigns!?

Hear from Alice & Bella themselves after the jump! Continue…

93 Commented

Breaking Down the Breaking Dawn Trailer

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Well THIS came out last night. And before the official reveal it leaked & Moon & I got a chance to break it down, vanity fair style:

Outside of the US- this worked last I checked: Trailer on You Tube

Beller Getting Married

UC: okay wanna start talking where the commercial for Louboutins starts?
so that first scene – Aro is getting the news that a baby was made- NOT an invite, right??
Moon: they’re not stupid they want a big gift- those volturi have lots of money. you KNOW they sent along a “registered at bed bath and beyond card” in their invite
UC: and also “babies R Us” “just in case”
or do you think Bella really wanted Aro to give her away” “Who gives this woman to be wed to this man” Aro: “Her mother & I give BELLER away”
Moon: BELLER is getting married
UC: BELLER getting married!
Moon: BELLER is engaged!
UC: BELLER is PREGGERS!
Moon: So excited for beller
UC: haha

All by Myself

He's gonna need another beer for this news

Moon: dude poor ol charlie
UC: Seriously- Alone AGAIN… Singing “All BY MYSELF!”
oon: love the vitamin r next to him. its like you might wanna sit down for this one. AND you’re gonna need some alchy
UC: I mean- he’ll be a gramps soon- and in the dark as to why his granddaughter grows a weeks worth every few hours,

I'm gonna be a grandma!! I need to find shorter shorts!

Moon: Charlie is missing harry. harry would have seen right through these shenanigans
UC: Then we get Renee- looking her trashy florida self in her jorts. too short for a woman her age… about to become a grandma
Moon: i think renee and cathi hardi were pals in another life. they had bunco nights and girls night at fridays- this scene was actually shot at cathi’s venice beach house

Don’t you DARE use paper that hasn’t been recycled

Moon: so do we think jake is mad they used card stock instead of vellum for the invite? or that they didn’t opt for the recycled ones?

how COULD they kill a tree for their wedding?

UC: yep- SO mad…. it deserved a shirt rip off
Moon: totally. “I’m SO mad they didn’t use the english “honour” instead of “honor” that i must rip this shirt off and go instruct them on proper spelling for invites” Also can i just say the invite is a little plain
UC: right..where was Alice? was there a sale at Barneys the day these were ordered?
Moon: this is alice we’re talking. I’m expecting something at least on the level of the bridal shower invite in Bridesmaids
UC: Target’s card section has better invite templates
Moon: i want to see a butterfly released when i open the Beller and edward wedding invite AT LEAST
UC: AT LEAST- wolf-shaped confetti- just to stick it to him a little (Edward’s idea)
Moon: i could have printed something better from from the microsoft publishing templates section. “You are cordially invited….” to spend your own money seeing this movie 58 times. Love, Summit Entertainment
UC: SO nice of them
Moon: you are cordially invited to… sleep outside for a week on a sidewalk in los angeles to catch a glimpse of mike welches hair at the premioere of this movie

UC: and i love how Billy is about to roll out of control- in the rain, off the ramp… face dive into the mud
Moon: I’m just glad billy is getting some air time, butI wish they gave him a guitar before he inevitably eats it in the mud
UC: maybe he’ll sing at the wedding. one can hope or at least at Charlie & Sue Clearwater’s wedding
Moon: the sabers and cougars can only hope
UC: which I hope is the premise of the inevitable SIXTH twilight movie a year or so after the last one comes out. No one else will have to be in it- they’ll all be out of contract
Moon: summit BETTER give us the love story of sue and charlie
UC: so they’ll have to bring Solomon Trimble back…
Moon: directed of course by Cathi with a screenplay written based on her sue and charlie fanfic
UC: yeah and she’ll cameo as a friend of Sue’s
Moon: “love ain’t nothing but a number or age or whaterer”

Cedric Diggory Getting Married

Try to pretend this doesn't look just like Cedric

Moon: omg Cedric diggory is gettting married
UC: hahaha YES hHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
UC: i love it…… CEDRIC DIGGORY getting married TOTALLY
Moon: can we love on Wyck and steph on the brides side of the wedding???!!!
i guess they’re more family of beller than cederic diggory. maybe jk rolling’s on cedric’s side
UC: well, Steph IS the original beller
Moon: seth’s behind wyck and steph. tells him where he stands! who’s the dude on cedric’s side in the blue hoodie? Didn’t get the memo about this being a wedding??
Moon: do you think mr Molina (mr. banner) was invited? i mean he should be credited with setting them up. he made them lab partners.
UC: I hope so
Moon: maybe he gets to make a toast….
UC: He SAW the ‘jizz in my pants” face in person
Moon: something about going from the golden onion to a golden wedding band
UC: that would be beautiful. Here’s hoping
Moon: after the jizz in the pants face he KNEW it was something special
UC: it wasn’t your typical ‘jizz in your pants” face that his 16 year old students normally make!

Eat your heart out boys

UC: so Beller looks HOT- I mean beautiful or whatever a bride should be. I think they might have fake lashes on her- very pretty look for a blushing virgin bride
Moon: oh dude do they not show the dress???!!!
UC: ohh they don’t!
Moon: gotta wait for the big reveal in the theaters???
UC: yes- they should…. i mean.. unless we’re gonna laugh or .. maybe ESPECIALLY if we’re gonna laugh. We need something to laugh at .. always!
Moon: i really hope it’s old timey and NO spoilers people who saw the leaked pics!
Moon: also who’s the pastor?
UC: i dunno! have they been going to church all this time?
Moon: i thought emmett would get ordained online by the universal church and marry them. FAIL
UC: that would have been so special. missed opportunity
Moon: tell a bad sex joke before the vows

Moon: I love that in the Rio scene Beller and edward and standing still while everyone is dancing in the street
cause we KNOW rob and kstew have zero rhythm
Moon: and robsteners PLEASE don’t comment about their rhythm in the bedroom. GROSS
UC: duh #robstendreams
Moon: oh dang theres a shot of them getting it on by a waterfall
Moon: omg I’m totally not ashamed to say i went back to the headboard part & re-watched it. i mean come on
UC: it’s so hard core.. i mean… the sound- was kinda like when the curtain tore.. in the temple.. that might be sacrilegious to say.. but it kinda had a religious look to it… on my first look:

Try to tell me this wasn't in the Bible

Moon: it definitely did. the shit hits the fan. LITERALLY- like this headboard is hitting the fan and the curtains
UC: his back- the muscles.. i felt like… it was Biblical… Samson or something is that weird?
Moon: no
UC: kinda weird…. but.. no seriously–
Moon: bella is defs a Delilah
UC: we’re getting all spiritual up in here. Okay i just watched the Biblical Samson scene again.. .kinda dramatic..
Moon: yea I’m pretty sure thats thunder
UC: i mean.. yes… it’s important… it’s 2nd best to the leg hitch (i’m all about the simple things) but that was a LITTLE over the top
Moon: and the folks at planned parenthood are crying the exact millisecond rensemee was conceived
UC: a bolt of lightening hit at the exact moment the sperm hit the egg
The Sun was hidden by the moon- There was an eclipse. And a thunder strike…and the folks at MTV excited- Bella can be the newest hero on Teen Mom
Moon: exactly. edward and bella season 3 of teen mom only without the trailer park and and kid with pink rubber glasses
UC: hopefully Renesmee doesn’t have those. time will tell.
UC: Back it up a bit- to FURTHER solidify my point above about the spirituality- they show that famous Rio statue….foreshadowing something- i dunno what…. but definitely comes full circle with the thunder bolt- breaking of the headboard- samson & Delilah religious scene
Moon: i just want to hear bill condons directing rob on tearing apart the headboard while the choir sings
UC: yes- The 100 Monkeys were on set that day providing the soundtrack to the love making and headboard breaking
Moon: it was actually jackson singing on set. he made up an impromptu song about losing your vcard to a vampire
UC: they made it a rap “break that board- break it good” inspired by a poem sent to him by a 100 monkeys fan the week before
Moon: everyone got really pissed after they had to listen to it 10 times in a row. the Brasilian crew revolted- even in a diff language 100 monkeys is horrible

I'm so fat

Moon: Do we even care that charlie bewley throws that girl across the room for no reason?
UC: NO! Let’s just go to the preggers part
Moon: I love that she touches her NON EXISTENT stomach
PLEASE GIRL
UC: yep… PuH LEESE. like.. at least eat a 1/2 bag of cheetos so we can SORTA believe it
Moon: thats more the buritto you ate in rio last night than it is a baby. Or she didn’t do enough street dancing at the fake carnivale to work it off
UC: right…. gotta get on top next time so you actually have to do something- that’ll disappear in no time
Moon: and edward looks like OH SHIT that cant be mine right???!! when did she have a quickie with newton in the stock room??!!
UC: he’s like “oh… i did read in “how to make love to a virginal human” that the sound of thunder would roar if my seed would implant… but I didn’t think that applied to me”
Moon: I mean if they don’t know for sure… if theres even a shadow of a doubt that they can conceive shouldn’t Carlilse be telling everyone to wrap that shit up?!! I mean COME ON!!!!!! it still baffles me
UC: RIGHT I mean… of all the things to baffle us… that probably doesn’t have to be #1 on the list .
Moon: its a mortal no-no for us to have a vampire baby but hey let’s see what happens
UC: like…. really renee? You just let your 18 year old daughter her married? that SHOULD worry us more…
Moon: They should roll a PSA after this about “safe sex”
UC: that would be awesome
Moon: and the mtv should have a commercial for a special season of teen mom since that’s basically how the trailer ends- Fade to Black- aka FADE TO NEW SEASON OF TEEN MOM starring Edward Cullen & Bella Swan.

And there you have it! We saw the trailer, We loved it, we fangirled & got excited for November 18th which STILL feels so far away!

What did you think!?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

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237 Commented

Getting excited about Breaking Dawn Part 1

Dear Breaking Dawn Part 1,

I don’t know about you but the news err non-news-stalker-pics-wigger-kids coming out of Vancouver this week got me REALLY excited for Breaking Dawn. If only we didn’t have to wait until November to see the finished project. But oh well. We’ll take what we can get.

We got this letter a week or so ago from SJ discussing what she was looking forward to in BD Part 1 & it got me even MORE excited about the movie!

I’m Excited

1. Rob’s career make or break scene: can he pull off being the most seductive vampire ever whilst wearing water shoes?
2. Taylor’s voodoo power: forget kung-fu, is his voodoo strong enough to convince the world a teenage shapeshifter imprinting on a newborn baby is not creepy (may also be seen as career make or break time).
3. The pale ‘strange one’ and the chick who hates dancing and parties unobtrusively getting down with the locals at carnival time then prancing up the beach between the pumpkin lanterns.
4. Kristen enduring parading Summit Wardrobe Department‘s idea of Stephenie Meyer’s idea of Alice’s idea of stylin’. And will they reuse blue art smock for a maternity top?
5. Jennifer Love Hewitt wetting her pants on the red carpet. But that’s just me being petty and mean (Taylor hatin’ beetch!)
6. 

   You should really use a condom

   Will there be a condom/Condon reference somewhere in wedding or Isle of Esme, or just ANYWHERE? I am praying for an outtake of Bill popping up in the ocean next to Rob & Kristen saying ‘I really do think I’m needed in this scene, move over Kristen’. And then me yelling ‘for the love of god move over Kristen!’

7. Charlie’s ‘stache. Jasper’s hair. Carlisle’s accent. Esme achieving full camouflage with the backdrop in every scene she appears in.
8. Merchandise – Isle of Esme jigsaw, maracas, water shoes? Team Edward/Jacob wedding garter. Isle of Esme sarongs. Pregnancy test kits.
9. Edward attempting to pimp out Jacob to Bella so she can have a ‘normal’ pregnancy (although maybe not normal by LTT standards). Or is it Bella being pimped out to Jacob? I’m not really up to speed on the Pimp’s code of conduct but it does seem that it would be a win situation for all of them. Anyway, cannot wait to see how Rob delivers those lines. It may just be the first time I feel sorry for him.

All this and it’s only February! Are we halfway there yet?

xxx Sj.

Hey Rob.. in Isle Esme ... you should do that move I taught you on my bed back in 2008...

I know, SJ. I know! It’s SO far away, yet hopefully the time will FLY! Because I have to add the following things I am so excited about for BD Part 1:

1. Watching a Catherine Hardwicke interview where she discusses how the Isle Esme sex scene(s) were “just as passionate as the moment Robsten was created my unmade bed in Venice Beach.”
2. A NEW SOUNDTRACK to listen to (nothing funny here- you know we’re serious around here about music!
3. Watching Bella tell her high school friends she’s getting married. And then making the brilliant awkward lines that Yorkie & Mike are sure to say after they hear the news our new mantras.
4. Seeing if Taylor breaks into giggles anytime sex is mentioned, suggested or insinuated

Oh November… can’t you be HERE already!!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What (Serious or non-serious!) things are you excited for for Breaking Dawn Part 1!?

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187 Commented