Storytime with Moon & UC Part 2 – #RIPTwilight and the premiere!

Dear LTT-ers,

I’ll be taking over the story time here from UC to bring you the rest of our Twilight time which mostly included the Premiere and Steve Urkel. Yea, I don’t know either but at least it wasn’t the Jenner sisters or Tia and Tamara or Jennifer Love Hewitt (AGAIN) like last year. We stepped up in the TGIF star echelon.

So let’s cut out the chit chat and get to the video we spent a billion hours on. You better like it…

No, we’re not street walkers working the corner of Fig and Chick Hearn waiting for some Lakers to get out of practice, this is just us with ALL our stuff. Yes, we had a cart full of gear and yes, that’s Jumping Rob under UC’s arm. What was in the cart? Well, tons of camera equipment, our “charging station” (mophie’s for our phones and anything with a USB), the props that keep Jumping Rob upright and little bottles that we were going to give out before someone told on us and as luck would have it that freaking Josh Horowitz took our idea and did shots with cast members. Wah wah waaaaaah.
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Time to get this partaaaay started.
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Our partners in crime… aka Twilightish and Fangirlish these girls
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The official line up… oh what’s that I see??? LTT AND That’s Normal?! We have arrived. And departed…
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There was a tampon on the red carpet. Yeaaaa, we don’t know either, but I’m sure someone was missing that at some point.

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One last time… all the your favorite fan sites repping for the fans and the not-so-fans at the premiere. TwilightGuy, Team Twilight, Series Theories, Twilight Lexicon, TwilightMoms, Twilight Source (Hypable), BreakingDawnMovie.org, His Golden Eyes/Page to Premiere, Bella and Edward, Twilightish, Fangirlish, LTT, That’s Normal, Twifans and Twilight Anonymous. Whew that was a mouthful!
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While we were busy “working” this creep was behind us acting all awkward. Someone should have called security.
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They were just as ugly as you imagined them to be. Kind of like candy cane versions of those hideous platform foam flips flops all the girls used to wear only uglier. And more expensive.



I have nothing to say other than look how cute she is?! And did you see how much she wanted to sit next to Nutty Madam when she watched the movie for the first time? Too cute.
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You already saw the video of Nikki singing at the fan concert now here is her talking about it. Honestly, I don’t remember this at all because I think we were about to get Taylor so I let UC take this
one.
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Urkel (aka Jaleel White, extra credit to me for knowing that) showed up looking like his alter ego Stephon Urkele. No, he didn’t ask if he smelled cheese and yes, there was some crazy lady (boobs and blond hair in the background) who bum rushed him while he was talking to us bloggers and asked for a picture. Why, I am NO idea. Of all the stars to crash an interview to get a picture with you choose Steve Urkel.

This guy found the little bottles stashed in our caddy and got trashed. He had a blast.
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JD charming Kimmy from His Golden Eyes/Page to Premiere.
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Remember when we were all over Jackson? Remember when he was trying to make 100 Monkeys happen and it was awful? Remember when he wore that terrible crushed velvet suit to the premiere last year? Well, that Jackson is no more, help us welcome back AWESOME, HOT, SWOON-ABLE Jackson Rathbone. We’ve missed you man.
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This is the best shot we could get of LTT hero and reader favorite Catherine Hardwicke. We didn’t get to ask her whether she still watched the audition tape every day or whether she preferred Cougaritas to Mudslides or Fridays to Applebees. Oh well… we’ll always have the memories, friends.
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Yes, there was a dog with a Team Jacob bandana on the carpet who hung out in front of us for most of the night and right when it looked like a cast member was headed towards us they’d detour to the freaking dog. God bless America, thanks for your sacrifice dog and soldier. (No really, we mean it).
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This is the best shot we could get of Nikki Reed, Peter Facinelli and the newest Twilight cast member: Paul McDonald. He plays the American Idol vamp.
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Oh heeeeey Kellan. You like those Tim Tams Twilightish brought for you? Yea, you can kiss her, we’re cool. We’ll talk to Sharni for a while and set up a board game night. Also your foundation is just a shade too dark. And we love you.
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Cue some super sad music (the entire New Moon soundtrack) because this is where we should have had an AWESOME video of Taylor where we got to ask him questions about Big Daddy and their Olive Garden Chain and what it’s like to have Big Daddy pick you up from school and how come we never see little mama and does it still hurt to listen to that Taylor Swift song and is she really a biotch cause we’re beginning to wonder. Ok, so maybe those weren’t EXACTLY the questions but whatever they are in our minds and somewhere in the ether of the video camera malfunction that ate our Taylor Lautner footage.
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By now most of you have seen the Jumping Rob video wherein we took a lifesize version of Jumping Rob to the premiere to taunt and attract people with. If you were wondering what it looked like behind the scenes this is it…

Yes, we’re adults and yes we held this and yelled. And yes, it was awesome.
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When asked if we were ready to interview Rob these are the faces we made. Somewhere between excited, snervous and ready to pounce. I think between the three of us we had Rob covered from every angle.
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Guys, I meaaaaan it’s freaking Stephanie. She took a picture with Jumping Rob and pointed him out to EVERYONE. And her bag was Celine. The end.
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I mean… I work here is done, right??

PS If you open this image in a new tab you can see how awesome this suit is and how while Rob was talking about needing to pee (who didn’t at that point?) I vacillated between thinking about how much Rob needs some Crest White Strips and how much I wanted to touch that freaking suit. AH!
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JUST KIDDING. Our work was not done. We did this at the after party. And ate one cupcake and some mashed potatoes between us. It was a crrRRAAaaaZZzzzYYy night.

We’ve got tons more headed your way from the premiere. Hope you can handle more! If not, just go watch that video up there again.

We don’t even have to try, it’s always a good time!
Moon & UC
Photos courtesy of us, Twifans, Bella and Edward

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Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2 – Our REAL Review

This is really it, yall!

SPOILERS!!!!
SPOILERS!!!
SPOILERS!!!
SPOILERS!!!
SPOILERS!!!
SPOILERS!!!

WARNING: If you have NOT seen the film, do not pass go, do NOT collect 200 dollars or a fake passport from J. Jenks. Proceed directly to a time depravation chamber or join an Amish communion till you are able to get to a movie theater near you.

Dear LTT-ers,

I feel like Donna Summer’s Last Dance should be playing in the background of this post because well, this is it y’all. This is the last review we’ll write at 3AM after seeing a Twilight movie for the very first time. Sad trombone, yall. SAD.TROMBONE.

Now’s not the time for tears, save that for the credits. Now’s the time for our thoughts WITH SPOILERS on Breaking Dawn Pt. 2.

Top Moments in Breaking Dawn Part 2

1. Charlie and Sue ARE together after all our years of speculation. No need for Match.com

2. Jacob’s totally unnecessary yet totally welcome strip scene in front of Charlie. We think they just used his audition for Magic Mike (spoiler alert: he didn’t get cast)

BLAH

3. Aro really needs to update his computer’s OS. All of this (the fighting, changing Bella, using  up all their frequent flyer miles to fly all the witnesses to Forks) because he has a crush on Alice? Has he never heard of Skype? And Jasper needs to be worried right…? Aro has that hair.. and that accent… and that marching band uniform… and a bunch of crazy henchmen.

4. The Battle: aka TWI-MAGEDDON
Our hands still hurt from squeezing each other’s hands so hard they might fall off. The battle scene is the definition of on-the-edge-of-your-seat, scream-out-loud, hyperventilate and then pass out moment. I mean Carlisle’s head hitting the ground?! I don’t know about you but we screamed out WTF if happening?! It’s so well done that you don’t question it for one second and then when we snap back to Aro seeing it through Alice’s vision it’s simultaneously relief and outrage! But mostly relief! Thank God! We’re excited to see what everyone thinks about the Twi-mageddon twist. If Stephanie can change her mind & come up with that ending, we’re pretty sure the rest of the fandom could accept it.

5. Jackson’s non-laughable hair. FOR ONCE! Clearly, when they drew straws for who would get the worst wig in this movie Jackson won while Carlisle & baby Renessmee lost. Their hairlines moved up and down between scenes more than our heart rates during the Twi-magedon twist.

6. THANK YOU Bill Condon/Stephenie Meyer/Melissa Rosenberg for creating a non-gratituous, classy-enough, not-over-the-top, fanfic worthy sex scene. It was enough to set the scene while not making us want to crawl under our seats and die from embarrassment while people hoot and holler and yell about things being “unbroken.” No thank you though to the extreme close up of Rob’s hairy thigh.

7. We finally get to see Bella became fully realized. She is powerful– and doesn’t need a man (She drove to Seattle on her own. Big step guys) yet is the perfect counterpart to Edward (that flying kick/roll thing in the Twi-mageddon scene, anyone?!). This is our favorite Kristen performance since New Moon. She makes us laugh after she publicly humiliates Emmett by beating him in an arm wrestling match and then sells us an entirely believable performance as mother and daughter with Renesmee. Truly, theirs was one of the most believable relationships in the films. So yes, she’s a fierce, bad-ass who’s better than all of us. There, are you happy Krisbians? Now please leave us alone. Forever.

Nope, not so weird.

8. Chris Hansen will be disappointed. Somehow the Jacob-Renesmee stuff doesn’t seem creepy, at all. Taylor walked the line carefully and it never went into the WEIRD territory it could have. Besides how can you be creeped out by Taylor, who is like the definition of the boy next door. Also, MacKensie Foy was downright adorable with the CGI wolf. Snaps to everyone here.

9. Lee Pace and Michael Sheen for Presidents of everything. Those two killed EVERY scene. They can deliver ONE line with just the perfect intonation or stress on one word and have us rolling or clapping or panting. Are we SURE Lee Pace is gay?

10. Allistair- what was his deal? Dude, if you’re such a bore stay home in England or wherever you came from and stop being such a negative Nancy. Shit is getting real here and you’re busy lurking around on tree branches or hanging out in the attic by yourself like a weirdo. Either go home or put on your big boy vampire pants and “let’s do this!”

11 .Carlisle was the first to bite the dust (and we were NOT surprised). As much as we love Daddy-C, it just seemed right that he’d go first. NOT THAT IT DIDN’T KILL US and not that we totally didn’t screamed and shout WTF IS GOING ON!?!?!?! But ya know, it had to happen. Also, who has the stunt double/prosthetic Carlisle/Peter Facinelli head now that filming is over? Ebay auction anyone?

12. Alice’s hair looked great. She was wearing less fur, less gloves and less dumb shit. Always a plus.

13. But the music- We talked about it on Monday but it’s still true. TURN IT DOWN! Sometimes you just need an aural break not 2.5 hours of score and music and battle scenes. Give our ears a break PLEASE. Someone please go to Carter Burwell’s house and break every electric guitar and electric bass he owns. PLEASE! Our favorite score is still New Moon, no one else brought it like Desplat did. Also, we still want to know what happened with the Howard Shore, Eclipse score. What a tragedy. Sorry Carter Burwell, we just weren’t feeling this.
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Now that we’re at the end, we’re left wondering: WHAT IS NEXT? While discussing this post we came up with all our ideas for what could possibly follow Breaking Dawn Pt 2. We have wild imaginations y’all and we really just can’t say goodbye so here’s what we’re thinking…

Do you think Alice will like my Marching Band uniform?

– Don’t make us read fanfic to find out if Aro ever signs up for a Google + account so he can have a virtual Hangout with Alice and stop dragging every vampire in the world into an unnecessary Vampire Battle to the Death. He should “Indecent Proposal” Alice for a few gabillions, offer Jasper a weekend of all the humans he can eat and see if he can make it happen, FINALLY. Aro: totally DTF.

– Will Nahuel have a “Best Abs Throw Down” with Jacob for Renessmee’s heart? Who will win? Will Jacob rip off Nahuel’s loin clothe in the battle? PLEASE!

– Does Leah ever stop being a raging biotch? Does one of the other wolves take one for the team just so she’ll shut up for a while?

– Will Rosalie ever find her go-to shade of blonde on the Loreal color scale? Will she and Alice ever be able to make her brows match?

– Does Mike Newton inherit Newton’s Outfitters from his folks & can it compete against Sports Chalet during these down economic times?

– How quickly will Sue move in with Charlie? Will Seth move into Bella’s old purple room? And more importantly: WILL SUE PAINT THE CABINETS THEIR RIGHTFUL COLOR: YELLOW!?

– Can we watch Lee Pace & the girl who plays Kate get it on? No? Is Kate able to turn off that electricity shocking thing she does, or is Garrett into that sorta thing?

These two. Get a room!

– Will Jasper challenge Aro to a dual over Alice? Will they walk 20 paces and then turn and shot each other with old-timey pistols?

– Do Carlisle & Esme ever choose their grandparent names? Is it Papa or Nana or do they prefer CC & Grandma E?

– Does Bella pull out that blue blouse & khaki skit when she wants to “slip into something more comfortable” for Edward? And Does Edward still rock the white sleeveless top to turn Bella on? Will they pull out the matching oatmeal sweaters for this year’s Cullen Family Christmas card with Renesmee?

– Is Bella and Edward’s safe word “The Meadow?”

*insert ugly cry here*

Ok, so here we are, the end of our last review of a Twilight movie. STEPHENIE, YOU BETTER WRITE MORE. WE HAVE QUESTIONS THAT NEED ANSWERS. So don’t make us read FanFic, we want the REAL answers to what happens after Breaking Dawn and we want them FROM YOU. Not our imaginations. If you’re game, Stephenie, we have this secluded spot (my dirty, full of clothes, walk-in closet) with an electrical outlet, a computer, a desk chair and a janky, full size Jumping Rob peeking out from behind my jackets, all set up and ready if you ever want to step in, disappear for a little while, and head back to the meadow.

Also, we won’t tell you all that we may have been discussing this post and what we’d say and perhaps got a little misty. We were also in public, eating a salad. Crying. Freakin’ Twilight.

Is that really it??
Moon & UC

PS So, that baby?! Weeeeellll… that’s a whole other letter.

SOoooooooo what did you think?! Did you jump out of your seat during the Twi-mageddon?!

130 Commented

Introducing the New Holy Trinity! Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 Premiere

Dear Old Holy Trinity-

Move over Taylor and Kristen, there’s a new trinity in town… aka these are the videos UC chose to edit first.

Rob, Mike Welch (ROOOBBB!!) and Melissa Rosenberg. Yup, UC must have a thing for Mike Welch and Melly Rosenberg because she totally overlooked people like Jackson Rathbone and Kellan Lutz for… MIKE.WELCH. Yea, I don’t know either y’all but considering last year’s Mike Welch moment I’m surprised he even gave us a second chance much less played along with our dumb game. Whatta sport that guy!

Mike Welch. Yea, we totally asked him to act the fool and he was more than willing. And yes, this Arizona girl is likin’ da rain.
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And then Melissa Rosenberg became just like our favorite step-aunt in this video.
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And well there’s really no need for introduction to this ROBERT PATTINSON video because there are no words necessary because as you all know, this has never happened before. Special hugs to Matt and Ryan for hooking us up. WAAAAY up.

We’re sorry Taylor and Kristen but I’m sure you understand… you never would have delivered famous Twilight movie lines in Mike Welch’s voice or introduced us to your husband or told us you had to pee. So as you can see it had to be done. You’ll understand someday, when you’re older.

Who else has moved up on our list of favorites? Who will be the new Big Daddy (we miss you!)? Who will be the next Buttcrack Santa? Only time and Goldfish Cracker-fueled midnight editing sessions will tell.

Moon and UC

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9 Commented

Breaking Dawn Pt 2 Premiere: Stephenie Meyer, Jeremy Renner and that Jumping Rob

One last time!

Dear LTT-ers,

As you know we were back on the red carpet for Breaking Dawn Pt 2 on Monday and if you were following us at all you know A LOT went down. And we don’t just mean a certain jumping gentleman. We’ve been working all day to get the footage edited and shined up and presentable (on approx. 4 hrs of sleep) but you have a TOOOON to look forward to in the next few days —

– We didn’t yell “ROB” in Mike Welch’s face this year! Instead we made him play a game with us that involves semi-embarassing voices
– Kellan kissed our site buddy from Twilightish over a package of cookies! Imagine what he’d do for some black market German protein powder
– Taylor has ideas for a Twilight related tattoo
– Tons of randoms answered questions you totally don’t want to hear! (Spoiler: male actors in Twilight are obsessed with women)
– Everyone wants to be Jasper!
– Our “little bottles” got cock blocked on the red carpet
– Erik Odom said the word “carbon-fiber” with a straight face when describing his suit

And tons more!

But really what better place to start than with the first lady herself, Stephenie Meyer. Guys, who knew she was a super fangirl for Jeremy Renner? Seriously, all she wanted to do was talk about him. Not what we can blame her, we’ve seen The Town, The Avengers and like Stephenie, The Bourne Legacy. The dude is hot. Perhaps she needs to start Letters to Jeremy?

Uuuuhhh if you’re serious Stephenie you know our email address… send us your letter girl, we may know some people who knows some people who can pass it along to some people who might be able to get it posted on here. Just know we will all know expect at least one Jeremy Renner mention.

Bonus points to Stephenie for being the first person to notice Jumping Rob (more on that at That’s Normal) all night! We may never know what tweets of ours you were loving but it was worth it to hear you call him Jumping Edward.

Stay tuned we have heaps more to show you… and we will, just as quickly as our computers can render the footage.

Jump!
Moon and UC

PS You know what’s normal? Taking Jumping Rob to the Premiere with us! Check out the full video, Rob’s reaction and more at That’s Normal!

13 Commented

Twilight Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 – Movie Review! You hear it first, here!

Get ready – we’re coming for you!

Dear Twilighters –

So here’s something exciting: we get to be one of the first people to bring you a review of Breaking Dawn Pt. 2! Nope, not the movie critics, not the BIG TV outlets, not MTV, not E! But little ‘ol us… and the other fan-run sites and blogs!!

So, I want to really break it down for you but I also don’t want to give ANY spoilers away cause you have to go see it Thursday/Friday at midnight. YOU HAVE TO! So I will keep my REAL REAAAAAL review for after the 16th. BUT in the meantime, let’s chat…

We are dumped directly into the Twilight action post vampire c-section/imprinting/open red eyes and we’re immediately back in the thick of things with the new vampire Bella. After many scenes of Bella learning about jumping small rivers, scaling sheer cliff faces and yes, arm-wrestling Emmett we FIIIINALLY get to the action.

Get Ready For:
-All the scenes Michael Sheen/Aro steals (every one he’s in). And yes, Beller is in fact, ALIVE!
-The wall to wall music (TURN IT DOWN, Music Editor!)
-The new vamps looking various shades of crazypants to awesome (Do we expect anything less at this point?).
-Some migrating hairlines. (WIGS!!!).
-Rob. (Duh).
-Taylor (fulfills his last contractual gratuitous, totally unnecessary, yet awesome (who are we kidding?) shirt removal scene).
-Bella finally coming full circle. (single tear).

Spoiler: He loses!

And for those wondering… yes, there is Edward/Bella vampire sex. But in a very tasteful, Sade-type-music-playing-in-the-background, angles-that-leave-out-just-enough, Stephenie-Meyer-is -the-mom-of-three-boys-kind-of-way. You’ll still feel a little uncomfortable watching it with your Grandma but hey, at least it’s not an ordinary scene from Game of Thrones (hmmmm Kit Harrington…). So don’t get too excited about any “Fade to Sad” moments.

The first family

Guys, you know when we wrote that post called “Accept It Now” where we reminded people that the film won’t always follow the book version of the storyline EXACTLY to a tee? You know, the cupboards may not be yellow and Bella may jump on a motorcycle with Jacob, in front of Edward? Well, it’s time to reread that post because BD 2 does NOT follow the written word exxxxactly. BUUUUTTTT guys, don’t leave just yet! Here take my hand, squeeze it hard but DO NOT run out of the theater screaming, it’s going to be alright. IN FACT, it’s going to be AWWWWEEESOME! I promise. Your head will be spinning. And because I love you, and because I don’t want to be sued, I won’t tell you any more. I will tell you, however, that you should bring tissues and a friend’s (preferably a Twilight buddy’s) hand to hold. My last piece of advice is, after you read this and after you watch all of our premiere coverage (cause it’ll be GOOD), you need to get off the interwebs and avoid all the spoilers you can. You want to enjoy this and not know what’s about to happen. Trust me.

We’ll see you back here after the 16th for the FULL, REAL review of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part Two.

Accept it Now!
Moon

18 Commented