Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Kellan & his mom talking about mammograms!

Dear Kellan-

Oh sweet heavens. I can’t make it through 5 seconds without having to stop the video because I’m laughing or cringing so hard. This is like watching you and your mom talk about the “birds and the bees” for the first time back in grade school, or junior high or whatever your sensible christian parents thought was a proper age. Of course it was started, interjected and ended with “but you should wait for the mate that’s right from God” (I don’t want it, want it, I don’t want it! sing it with me!). Only this time it’s like you’re the parent telling your lovely mother about breast self exams and then when you say “have you gotten tested lately?” It sounds like your mom may be a bit of a good times gal who’s in need of services from the free clinic.

Then there was talk of pap smears and yearly exams and I had to run screaming from the room because my parent embarrassment level was higher than when my mom used to drop me off at my friends and yell “make good choices” out the window as she drove away. But luckily I made it back in time for you to say you ‘did it’ with you mom and we should all ‘do it’ with our moms and ‘do it’ with other moms! Cause I’m a mother lover, you’re a mother lover we should ef each other’s mothers… ok, maybe that last part was an SNL Digital Short but STILL. KELLAN, COME ON!!! Stop with the PBS After School Specialness of this PSA.

2nd hand embarrassed but love your boobs!
Themoonisdown

PS But seriously folks, all joking aside Kellan and his mom are totes right, feel yourself up regularly and get felt up by a professional regularly! Love your boobs, because Kellan and his mom said so!! Hey, just think of Kellan telling you to ‘do it’ while you’re getting your boob smashed in the mammogram machine, it’ll make it almost half enjoyable. Not.

PPS I (moon) will be at TwiCon/Eclipse Con today so I will be live tweeting all the craziness from what I’ve already dubbed #CrazyCon so make sure you’re following me as I 2nd hand embarrass myself and see the nuttiness. Oh and the holy trinity… ya know, those guys.

More info on Kellan’s boob group: Men for Women Now

Did you make it through the video without hitting pause? Big ups to Kellan for not laughing TOO hard through this. And feel your boobs up cause it’s important!

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Cashing in on the Twilight/New Moon connection for a "good cause?"

Dear Twilight cast members-

Good on you guys for lending your celebrity to a good cause! It you’re going to be chased around by paparazzi and idolized by folks all over the world you might as well give a voice to a great cause. And you are! Witness the latest in go gooders…

Angie got back!

Dear Christian,

What a classy homage to the horror that is the fur trade industry while gently alluring to the fact that you’re in Twilight. The forest, the mist, the Twilight font and what else says vampire and dead furry animals than blood splatters all over the PETA ad?

Too bad you play a human.

XO
Moon

PS nice booty lady!
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Doin' it for the kids!

Dear Kristen,

You make it harder and harder for me to keep up this facade of not liking you when you go and make an appearance at the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation walk during the middle of a busy press tour for New Moon when you could have been taking a nap or eating cheetos.

Can you break out the mullet or act surly again, please?

XO
Moon

Follow the jump to see Taylor work it for a good cause…
Continue…

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Twilight n trashy magazines at 30,000 feet

Hi my name is what, my name is who, chicka chicka chicka Edward Cullen!

Dear Rag-Mag Editors-

Since it’s Memorial Day I decided to head home to Phoenix to spend the long weekend with my family and while there to see fellow blogger of awesomeness Lauren from Lauren’s Bite. So of course plane flights mean MAGAZINES!!! Probably one of my most favorite parts of traveling. So I got to the airport excited to grab some reading material and EVERYWHERE I looked magazines had something Twilight related on the cover or inside. Twilight mania has officially taken over your printing industry and I can’t say I blame you for printing the stuff but seriously if you’re going to bother why not write something new?

Robert Pattinson CUT HIS HAIR! ZOMG!!!!!

OK!

Case in point OK! Magazine it drew me in because the cover had one of my fave Rob pics of all time plus the caption “Robert Pattinson Has The Blues.” What could be better right? Not so fast! You think you can fool us with THOSE PICTURES!! One is from freaking DECEMBER and the other is God knows how old… from EW last year sometime. And then the article references quotes from Catherine Hardwicke and talks about his love of Van Morrison. Hello, this is 2009 have we met? I kept waiting for a Hot Pocket reference.

Grade: F buy this is you’ve been living under a rock for the last 9 months or didn’t know Rob cut his hair in December.

Obviously NOT a Twi-hard fan

US Weekly

Somehow I figured the hair stylist who found the scripts was some sassy chain smoking older tranny type and not Amy Pohler! Who knew she had her own salon in the midwest! Does ‘Gob’ have a Barbershop next door? St. Louis would rule.

And NO I don’t want Kate Gosselin’s reverse mullet dead beaver hairdo, but thanks for asking.

Puppy Love, Cannes and Cam!

Then US Weekly earns some bonus points for having TWO MORE Twilight related features… one featuring actual RECENT pics. Shocker, I know! I flipped the page and those two cabbage patch dolls are staring at me at 30,000 feet. They’re so sickenly sweet I grabbed the barf bag.

Grade: B+ get this if quantity is your thing, you wanna read about the John & Kate train wreck or you really wanna know what swimsuit fits your body type (I should get a halter style, FYI).

I totally hugged this magazine and said a prayer for Chris Weitz

Entertainment Weekly

If you have 4 bucks to waste this is the mag for you, it’s only two pages but they have exclusive photos that were actually exclusive from the set. Imagine that! And they do NOT disappoint. I cracked this baby open and gasped out loud cause it was SO good! I said to my seat neighbor, “THE BIRTHDAY SCENE!!” She quickly got up changed seats. Her loss! If she was a Twihard addict I would have been her dealer on that flight. Loser.

Grade: A+ Get this and hug it close to your chest and send one up to the big man upstairs that New Moon will live up to all our hopes and dreams. Ignore Eminem on the cover.

But back to you rag mag editors…

If you’re gonna feature anything Twilight related in your trashy pages can I ask that you at least give us some current pictures and news? I know this is the digital age and all but still! Try a little harder. Oh and can I get a refund on the OK mag?

Your faithful reader,
Themoonisdown

PS It was raining here in Phoenix and when I arrived my mom turned to me and said “Arizona, how you likin’ the rain girl?!… I’ve been waiting ALL day to say that to you!” Please love how awesome my mom is. Also she says a BIG thank you and WE DID IT to all those who voted for Kris Allen on American Idol!

Have an extra 40k laying around? Wanna buy Robert Pattinson’s affection for a few minutes? These people did!

Friday Forum daily chat rules!

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