Twilosophy: Charlie & Renee – a parenting cop out?

Dear Twilosophy Majors,

My good pal nopaperkg has just recently begun reading Breaking Dawn and on our road trip back from the holiday break she turned on her copy of the Breaking Dawn audiobook. While the audiobook version is a whole ‘nother post for a different day suffice it to say it got me thinking again about the saga through new eyes. Something about hearing a woman imitating a man’s voice or maybe hearing the only book in the saga I’ve read once being dramatically read to me gave it new life. And it brought up some of my old questions I had that started back in the Twilight book. We listened to the chapter of Breaking Dawn where Charlie sees Bella for the first time since she’s been changed into a Vampire. He tells Bella that the less he knows the better. And so that got me to thinking…

Is Charlie’s (and for that matter Renee’s) parenting style a cop out? Now obviously, I’m not a parent, and who knows if I ever will be one, but I know from having a couple of really good parents of my own that none of this shiz Bella tries to pull would NEVER have flown. The “less I know, the better” would NOT have happened in my house. Especially if I supposedly came down with some tropical disease on my honeymoon that required me to go to the center of disease control. RIGHT. My mom would have beat me to the center before I ever got there. And the whole Renesmee is our maybe daughter/maybe niece who grows at an unnatural rate and has a betrothed that is a werewolf on the side. Nope, don’t want to know anything about it, TMI! YEA RIGHT.

Hey baby, I'll maybe see you in 2 years when you graduate. Oh wait, I won't.

Let’s take it back to New Moon. Had my boyfriend dumped me and left me in the woods which would lead me into a downward depression spiral my mom would have been on the first plane out. Especially if months went by where I became a zombie with night terrors and a penchant for dangerous after school activities. Is Charlie not sharing the whole truth with Renee? Is she too busy in Jacksonville with Phil the minor league baseball player to care about her child who is hurting?

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Kristen Stewart, pregnant with Rob’s lovechild? Or just bloated?

Dear LTT-ers, Robstenites, Nonstenites, and general gossip hounds,

Recently a most outrageous “news” story began circulating around the interwebs. Rag mags, gossip sites and weirdos alike have been reporting that Kristen Stewart is pregnant! Yes, the 19 year old, barely legal, girl from Zathura, the chosen one of Stephenie Meyer, aka Bella is allegedly PREGNANT. Now I’m not one to believe most stuff from the Rag mags until the star themselves confirm it. But what’s the fun in waiting? So I’ve gathered together a panel of obsessed freaks experts on the subject of all things Twilight, Kristen and pregnancy. We’re going to treat this like our very own cable news show so sit back and relax as we bring you all the facts, reactions and advice on:

HARDBALL with Themoonisdown

Hello and welcome to our very first addition of Hardball, today is Friday, July 10th, 2009 and here’s what we know on the Kristen Stewart might be pregnant news front…

The Aussie tab’s insider says, “When [Stewart] worked out she was late, she obviously started to thinking that she could be pregnant. And because of the timing, she thinks Rob could be the father.”

The gossip mag also reports she had a friend buy a home pregnancy test for her and that she is “very nervous about the whole situation.”

As evidence, the mag ran a shot of Stewart with a small round belly on the set of her upcoming film, “The Runaways.”

Naturally reps for Stewart and Pattinson have not confirmed whether there is any truth to the New Weekly’s report.

Click to enlarge the NEWS

Click to enlarge the NEWS

As it stands this is what we know: Kristen Stewart is supposedly “late” in getting her monthly visitor. And of course thinks that a one Mr. Robert Pattinson is the father, nevermind her ex-boyfriend who from all accounts she was still with 2-3 months ago. Kristen Stewart has an unknown “friend” buy her a pregnancy test. And finally as physical evidence we have a photo of Kristen from the set of the Runaways with what reporters are calling a “small round belly.”

I turn now to my panel of highly esteemed journalists, Robsten followers, snarky commenters and legal experts for their reactions… Let’s play Hardball!

LOOK AWAY FROM HIS EYES!!

LOOK AWAY FROM HIS EYES!!

First up from the always on top of it Rob Pattinson site “Robsessed” we have the lovely Gozde. What is your opinion of the news that Kristen might be pregnant with Rob’s love child?

Gozde: Rob can impregnate with a stare, true story, but for this time I say ‘What a Load of Crap’

Moon: As proof Gozde has brought along this lovely picture at right to help prove her point. Can we get that on the screen now? (look to your left) *sees rob* Uh… yea I’m gonna have to say you might be right… I feel my ovaries spontaneously ovulating… NEXT expert! Quickly!!

Kristin: *interupting* “I would also like to mention that after seeing pictures of Rob and Ruby (his pint sized costar for Remember Me) together, my uterus spontaneously impregnated itself, so if there is a babymama, It’s me, spelled with an IN. Just in case you were all wondering…”

Moon: Well, I guess we’ve proven your point Gozde, maybe a Kristen IS pregnant from his stares, it just might be OUR KristIN, instead. Why don’t we toss this to the super wonderful TwiCrackAddict for her take. What do you think TwiCrack, pregnant or not?

TwiCrackAddict:Hullo? If having a lil’ pooch is evidence of being knocked up, then people must think that my ever-present Food-Induced-Belly-Bump is an indication that I’m pregnant with sextuplets these days. Sorry, I’m just puffy and eat too much ice cream”

Follow the cut to see what else the panel has to say, and IS SHE PREGNANT?? Come back after this commercial break
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