The mistakes of Twilight
Thank you so much for your congratulations & sweet words regarding our 10 month anniversary yesterday. We have a confession that we’d like to share in the form of “texts from last night” between Moon & UC:
Text from Moon: “Just wrapped up my ’10 month anniversary/10 things I love about Twi’ post- getting in bed- wouldn’t it be funny if we calculated wrong and our 10 month anniversary is next week?”
Text from UC: “We’d look like the biggest idiots”
Text from Moon: “Umm…. I just calculated. Can you double check my math”
Text from UC: “Yep. Just double checked.
Happy 9 month anniversary”
Oops. I know we seem perfect, but we’re not. For example, we miss things. Once there was a picture of Big Daddy with a dabble of ketchup down the front of his shirt. We missed an opportunity to photo-shop him in a Heintz ketchup ad. And one time Moon said “I bet it’s hard to be Jacob Black” and I forgot to say “that’s what she said.” It’s hard to be perfect all the time. We try. But we sometimes fail. Even we make mistakes.
So in honor of our 9 month anniversary (yesterday) and to continue our new fond love of making lists, here are 9 mistakes from the Twilight world:
1. The Bandslam & PUSH previews on the Twilight DVD
(that you cannot fast forward through- bastards) Summit thought they were being sneaky, making us watch those previews before we got to see Robward’s beautiful face. Little did they know that I just made copies of the DVD, got rid of the previews and sold them illegally on the black market. In your Face Summit. Just kidding. What I really did was press Play; Go make some popcorn; Pour myself some bubbly; Walk back into the room; Groan that Vanessa Hudgens was STILL on the screen; Go pee; Put on my PJs; Come back. Movie time. In your face, Summit.
2. Edward’s taste of music, clothing & bedding in the books
WestFriend: Why did Stephenie make Edward so lame when it comes to music taste. Umm…hi. He hates the 60’s and 70’s? The BEST time for music ever? And he LOVES the 50’s and some of the 80’s? It has bothered me so bad.
Moon: SMeyer is an enigma. Cause the 60s ruled the music scene. But the real questions are: Why does she make Edward wear sleeveless button ups and have black and gold brocade bedding?? These things I’ve never understood.
3. Including Perry Farrell and Collective Soul on the Soundtrack
It’s clear from your marketing that you are unaware that anyone other than 12 to really immature 15 1/2 year olds like the Twilight saga, so why in the world would you force Alexandra Patsavas (who made Death Cab for Cutie & Imogen Heap household names, so I know it wasn’t her doing) to include an old washed up rocker looking for a comeback & a band that no one has thought of since 1995 on the soundtrack?
4. The EW magazine cover that ended the careers of a photographer & editor
And if the photographer & editors weren’t fired, they should’ve been- or maybe even hung. Who told them Twilight was about methed-up teen addicts who sell their last piece of food- an apple- to buy enough meth so they could ceremoniously commit a joint suicide/OD and spend eternity together listening to Collective Soul? EW Fail
Follow the jump for the rest of the mistakes! Continue…
Tags: , Alexandra Patsavas, Bandslam, beer, bella swan, Buttcrack Santa, collective soul, edward cullen, Entertainment Weekly, fake lesbians, jacob black, Kristen Stewart, LTT, michael copon, Midnight Sun, Nikki Reed, perry farrell, Push, Stephenie Meyer, Taylor Lautner, Twilight, twilight dvd, Twilight Soundtrack