The mistakes of Twilight

Dear LTTers,

Thank you so much for your congratulations & sweet words regarding our 10 month anniversary yesterday. We have a confession that we’d like to share in the form of “texts from last night” between Moon & UC:

Text from Moon: “Just wrapped up my ’10 month anniversary/10 things I love about Twi’ post- getting in bed- wouldn’t it be funny if we calculated wrong and our 10 month anniversary is next week?”
Text from UC: “We’d look like the biggest idiots”
Text from Moon: “Umm…. I just calculated. Can you double check my math”
Text from UC: “Yep. Just double checked.
Happy 9 month anniversary”

Oops. I know we seem perfect, but we’re not. For example, we miss things. Once there was a picture of Big Daddy with a dabble of ketchup down the front of his shirt. We missed an opportunity to photo-shop him in a Heintz ketchup ad. And one time Moon said “I bet it’s hard to be Jacob Black” and I forgot to say “that’s what she said.” It’s hard to be perfect all the time. We try. But we sometimes fail. Even we make mistakes.

So in honor of our 9 month anniversary (yesterday) and to continue our new fond love of making lists, here are 9 mistakes from the Twilight world:

1. The Bandslam & PUSH previews on the Twilight DVD

(that you cannot fast forward through- bastards) Summit thought they were being sneaky, making us watch those previews before we got to see Robward’s beautiful face. Little did they know that I just made copies of the DVD, got rid of the previews and sold them illegally on the black market. In your Face Summit. Just kidding. What I really did was press Play; Go make some popcorn; Pour myself some bubbly; Walk back into the room; Groan that Vanessa Hudgens was STILL on the screen; Go pee; Put on my PJs; Come back. Movie time. In your face, Summit.

Dear Stephenie, This outfit is not hot Love, us

2. Edward’s taste of music, clothing & bedding in the books

WestFriend: Why did Stephenie make Edward so lame when it comes to music taste. Umm…hi. He hates the 60’s and 70’s? The BEST time for music ever? And he LOVES the 50’s and some of the 80’s? It has bothered me so bad.
Moon: SMeyer is an enigma. Cause the 60s ruled the music scene. But the real questions are: Why does she make Edward wear sleeveless button ups and have black and gold brocade bedding?? These things I’ve never understood.

3. Including Perry Farrell and Collective Soul on the Soundtrack

Dear Summit,

It’s clear from your marketing that you are unaware that anyone other than 12 to really immature 15 1/2 year olds like the Twilight saga, so why in the world would you force Alexandra Patsavas (who made Death Cab for Cutie & Imogen Heap household names, so I know it wasn’t her doing) to include an old washed up rocker looking for a comeback & a band that no one has thought of since 1995 on the soundtrack?

4. The EW magazine cover that ended the careers of a photographer & editor

I just need one.more.hit. Buy my apple?

And if the photographer & editors weren’t fired, they should’ve been- or maybe even hung. Who told them Twilight was about methed-up teen addicts who sell their last piece of food- an apple- to buy enough meth so they could ceremoniously commit a joint suicide/OD and spend eternity together listening to Collective Soul? EW Fail

Follow the jump for the rest of the mistakes! Continue…

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Do this and DIE soundtrack producers

coming soon... oh so soon

Dear New Moon Soundtrack music supervisors and producers-

If the rumors about the JoBros and Madonna (among others) being on the New Moon soundtrack are true I will boycott you all and deny any of this ever happened (but if this was all an eleborate PR ploy to get more publicity for that 3-d movie nonsense than round of applause for the smart PR team!) As a wanna-be music supervisor I’m BEGGING you don’t go down this road… I love Alexandra Patsavas and worship at her music choosing feet like the rest of you but the Twilight soundtrack walked a fine line between genius picks (the black ghosts, iron and wine, blue foundation) and complete lunacy (collective soul, linkin park). I implore you PLEASE PLEASE pick some amazing music, unknowns, up and comers, oldies, whatever WORKS with the film but NOT the Jonas Brothers!! Or crinkly old Madge. We don’t need to make this an even more tween-y affair than it already is, NOR do we need someone who hasn’t put out a good album in several years trying to get in the mix and profit from cult hit like this. I love ya Madonna (your older stuff) but your services are NOT needed here. If I hear ANY whine-y, nasal-y, pinched prepubescent voices like the JoBros singing about “burning up” or whatever I will go postal.

friends don't let friends put JoBros on the Soundtrack

May I suggest some winners like… martina topley bird, youth group (of course i would like a band called youth group!), neutral milk hotel, the pains of being pure at heart or how about some joni mitchell for the really sad Bella is dumped and lifeless bits?! I know I always cry at Joni, PERFECTION! Seriously guys I make amazing ‘PLEASE KILL ME NOW, I’M SO SAD’ mixes if I do say so myself.

Ok so maybe what I’m saying producers/music supervisors, you should HIRE ME!! (i’m not joking, call me) In fact I think we shall begin either highlighting songs we think are New Moon-eriffic or create some tracklistings and feature them here.

But I’m serious about the Jonas Brothers nonsense, do it and DIE!
Themoonisdown (even my ‘name’ says PICK ME!)

So what do you guys think about the new moon soundtrack? Anyone as passionate about it as I am? What are some ideas you have?

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Twilight at the Oscars

Don't be confused by Kristen looking hot, she will NOT impress you come Oscar night

Dear Oscar planners,

Please don’t let Kristen Stewart be the promised “Twilight Presence” during your program this year, cause she won’t smile no matter what you do.

And if you decide that, instead of a Twilight presenter, you’re going to use a song from the movie, I’m BEGGING you, do not use “Go all the Way’ by Perry Farrell.*

Looking forward to hopefully seeing Robert Pattinson on the 22nd,
UnintendedChoice

What? Twilight presence at the Oscars? Yeah, Peter Gabriel out, Twilight in, or so E! says

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*this song interchangeable with “Tremble for my beloved” by Collective Soul
**Just to be clear, as much as I’d love to see Robbie back in the US and in a hot suit on Oscar night, I don’t think he should be there. Let Mickey Rourke have his moment.

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