Move over Thomas Edison, Kellan Lutz is in town!

Let me tell you about that one time I wanted to rob a bank and how I thought I could get away with it.

Dear Kellan-

Lezzzz be honest here we all know what the fandom is losing their minds over right now and it’s NOT you and it’s definitely not the question I asked you last week at Comic Con about what you would do if you weren’t an actor which sent you into a 15 minute tangent about inventing and getting away with bank robberies. Honestly, it was the most entertaining 15 minutes of the afternoon and if it was just you and me we could have gotten weird with it and talked about how you could make whatever hovel you live in, in the Valley, the new Menlo Park but really like 4 people would have found that interesting, me and White Yorkie (who was with me) being two of them. We would have also asked you if your board game nights with Ashley Greene involved more Candy Land or Settlers of Catan or whether she likes Green Smoothies and if you guys were prayer partners or what ever really happened with Anna Lynne McCord. Sadly, it was not a solo interview and we had to share but we loved it any way and we appreciated your quite unusual response and the oddly specifics details with which you provided. We LOVE unusual and oddly specific, I mean look around.

I’m a wILd aND CrrAAzZZzzYY guy, can’t you tell?!

So regardless of the melee that is happening right now (and srsly, we love it) we love you. I mean you were our first letter after all. You inspired this shit. Congrats. Now next time we wanna talk more about your inventions and less about Emmett’s work out routine. Alone.

XOXO,
Moon

Have no idea what Moon is talking about? That’s cause you haven’t read our interview with Kellan, Ashley & Jackson with our fansite pals at Comic Con. Check it out below. And then when you’re done, make sure you don’t miss our coverage of the EPIC online reaction to last night’s BIG NEWS. (And read about the Break Up Kit we created for Rob!)

Interview with Jackson Rathbone, Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz
Hard Rock Hotel, San Diego
July 12, 2012

If you could do anything besides acting, what would you do?

Kellan: Invent. I love inventing, that’s my first passion. So I would just love to create a bunch of patents, I have a book of 50 right now. So I’d love to be a mad scientist who plays around with chemistry, and solves all the world’s problems and creates a few of them himself.

Did you ever have a mad scientist lab kit when you were a kid?

Kellan: I did. I still do. It’s kind of grown to a “Ren and Stimpy” kind of lab, which is fun.

And who’s your favorite scientist?

Kellan: Michio Kaku. He deals with wormholes. Check him out. He’s great.

Now we’re all going to have to Google him!

Kellan: Him and Albert Einstein, they’re both so ahead of our time. It’s just fascinating to read about them, what their theories are on loopholes and everything else. It’s fascinating stuff.

And if you could play one in a movie, who would you play?

Kellan: Young Albert Einstein.

Jackson: Not Tesla?

Kellan: Tesla is great! Tesla I actually deal with – I have this thing called the Cop Stopper that deals with Tesla’s technology. It’s like a Pokémon ball and you push the button- I want to rob a bank so much – and I’m from the Midwest, so we have like one bank, no security cameras, and so I designed this thing, and I
always wondered, you know I watch “Cops” all the time – why doesn’t a drug dealer design a trap door under their car? ‘Cause cops don’t have cameras under the cars, they get you for throwing stuff out the window! If you got a trap door under your car, boom! You would run over it. It would be genius. They would get out of so much. But my Cop Stopper was a Pokémon ball that you push the button and then Tesla’s coils go in and the chemical compound reactions go, so it’s an electrical ball so once you throw it out the window usually, in my idea of robbing a bank, I’d go through an alley way, and what this Pokémon ball would do, is it hits the metal of the cop car (everyone starts laughing)… see you got me going here! It hits the metal of the cop car and drains it completely dead, so the lead cop car stops, stopping all the other pursuing cop cars and you get away Scott free!

(Laughs)

Kellan: How to rob a bank in Iowa.

….Ok, so Ashley and Jackson! 
(Everyone laughs)

Continued after the jump! Continue…

8 Commented

What everyone was really thinking at Comic Con 2012

Act excited…

Dear LTT-ers,

So as you know if you were following along last week I was at Comic-Con repping for us here (duh), That’s Normal and Nerd Girls everywhere.

It all started off with a bang, no I didn’t  meet up with the Game of Thrones boys the night before, I was invited to attend the press conference before the Fan Panel on Thursday. Can we first talk about how weird it is that in the last year LTT has gone from non-official red headed step child of the Twilight fan sites/blogs to official red-headed step child of the Twilight fan sites/blogs? Cause, yea it’s weird, but also super cool because YOU guys deserve it. We’ve bee together since 2008 loving on and making fun of Twilight.

So since I didn’t have a camera man (UC with my dad’s camcorder) with me I’ll leave the video stuff up to the professionals. And trust me it was mostly the same stuff we’re all used to. You know the “What was your favorite scene to film?” “Where there any pranks on set?” “Is Robsten’s love a pure as the driven snow?” “Have you tried the new Raspberry Lemoncello refresher from Olive Garden, Taylor?” Ok, so maybe some of those weren’t asked but as Buttcrack Santa is my witness I WILL ask what the cast orders off In-n-Out’s secret menu AND I will ask them to also play “Fuck, Kill, Marry” like we did with Stephenie. SOME DAY. Y’all. Some day. Anyhoo lots of questions were asked and I must say Kristen was super on her game, engaging, answering questions, saying “man” A LOT. Taylor was being Taylor, Rob was off in never never land for a good part of it but his best moments were when he started asking Stephenie questions. All was dandy and fun and I enjoyed drinking tons of little free bottles of Diet Coke while I sat between the Australian woman and the dude from Latino Review (who knew?)…

And then I cried…

Ok, not really but I’m not gonna lie if you looked at me during this moment I may have either been chopping onions on the front row next to this loud Australian woman with neon pink toes or I was having a moment. I think as I was sitting there I finally let it sink in that we’re in the home stretch and that this will essentially all be over in November. And how much what Stephenie and Taylor and Kristen were saying could be said by any one of us.

So on a cloud of wistfulness I ran over to get into the fan panel in Hall H to see what clips would be shown and what awesomely awkward fan questions would be asked. After doing some sweet talking to the psycho Hall H line police dude in a white cowboy hat (I know) I ran in just in time to grab a seat next to the best and brightest (BrookeLockart, Lolashoes, TBY789 and Ms. Myra McEntire) and of course the hecklers. After all we were pretty far back.

Since none of us wants to ctrl + some crappy cell phone pictures I took let’s leave this to the professionals again… but ya know with a little bit of what was REALLY happening…

GUISE!!! I’m here! And guess what! I’ve got my shit together this time! I look great, I’ve figured out how to wear sneakers with nice outfits and not look like I’m trying too hard, my hair looks pleasantly tousled, I have great answers prepared for you, my makeup is on point, I don’t look like Joan Jett on a bender, my nail polish is of some color that the internets will freak over……. oh what’s that you say, this is the LAST one and we’ve done like a billon of these things before and I only just figured it out? Well what can you do?

Damnit. They tricked me again. This is SO not an all you can eat In-N-Out. I should have known an all you can eat In-N-Out was too good to be true. They so owe me. Oh look Sailor Moon!

Yea, no.

Oh these heels? Ain’t no thang.

Hey Ashley, did you know I just had a kid with Sheilawhatsname? Yea, cause I did. And you didn’t. And we’re totally happy and it was totally planned and you’re totally sad about it, right?
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That’s her!! The creepy one who always sits behind the mic! Get her Dean!
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Teach me how to Dougie, tea-teach me how to dougie!
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(click to enlarge this ish!)

Later in the afternoon I participated in some round table interviews with the cast but since we are now an official red headed step child of the Twilight fan sites/blogs we have to wait on that for a bit. So get yourselves prepared for that exciting post and a few other more exciting posts coming up!

Until next year Comic Con! Oh wait *cries*
Moon

PS I have tons more from Comic Con but I’ll post that and all my odds and ends another day.

So did you see the clips they showed the attendees of the fan panel? Getting even more excited?

41 Commented

Brunching Ashley Greene

Brunch with White Yorkie?! Where do I sign up???

Well hello there, Ladies (and gentleman).

White Yorkie here, everybody’s favorite unicorn…  Well, everybody’s favorite other than the Font, but I lost him in the crowd at BronyCon (trust me, click on that link) this year, so you’re stuck with me.As you may be aware, Ashley Greene is near and dear to my heart.  Soon after writing this post yesterday, I looked at my clock and realized 9 hours had passed.  And then I looked at my screen and realized I had 25 ¾ pages of meandering (yet heartfelt) love sonnets.  I’ll spare you that and instead say this:

If it were up to me, all the films would focus on Alice and not this other chick Blecha or whoever-the-crap.  At the very least she should get her own Saturday morning cartoon spinoff series:  The Adventures of Alice Cullen & Friends.  It would be Masters of The Universe meets Muppet Babies.  Or Darkwing Duck meets Eek! The Cat.  Or The Snorks meets NYPD Blue.  You understand.

The real point is, this week both me and Ashley Greene will be at San Diego Comic-Con.  Now some might look at this situation and say to themselves, “Yeah, sure.  I could possibly maybe might see the love of my life from like a brajillion feet away.  We’re only separated by 5,000 sweaty mouth-breathers.  What a good day.”  But no.  White Yorkie ain’t having that shit.  I see this as the perfect opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream.

Hmmmmm pancakes… smoothies…. eggs…. what do I want…

I’m gonna make breakfast for Ashley Greene.

And trust me…  you (talking to Ashley now) are in for a treat.

Girl, I can make you eggs.  Sunnyside up?  You bet.  Poached?  Ain’t no thang.  Scrambled?  Child, please.  You like ’em a little runny?  I got you covered.

Girl, I can make you toast.  I’ll be slicing a loaf of whole grain (gluten free if you’re into that sorta thing) to the beat of Father John Misty like it’s my J-O-B.

Girl, I can blend the shit out of fresh fruit and greens.  Yeah, I’m talk’n smoothies.  Mangos?  You bet your sweet ass.  Kale?  I ain’t scurred.  You like ’em super green with Dandelion Greens and Chard?  I’m your huckleberry.  (Plus I’ll bring my Vitamix 5200 so you know I’m not messing around.)

We can talk about “movies” versus “films.”  The intricacies of Robyn.  Even the implications of the God Particle if you’re feeling especially sciency.

Alright, so here’s the deal LTTers.  I need your help.  You might be asking why I deserve it.  The truth is, I don’t.  But what mere human really deserves the company of this beauty?

The real answer to that question is “none alive.”  But today’s answer is “White Yorkie.”

Basically what I’m asking you to do is to spend the next few days leading up to Comic-Con twitter-bombing Ashley Greene.  Just a little note letting her know that I’m ready and willing.  Something like:

White Yorkie wants to make you breakfast at Comic-Con!  He’s so dreamy and junk!

Or

I really wish I had guys the caliber of White Yorkie wanting to make me breakfast!  Swoon!

Or

When White Yorkie makes you breakfast pretty please take pics!  OMFGROTFLCOPTER!

Just be sure to #brunchingashleygreene

You can also take a picture like this one and throw it on the ol’ Instagram and tag Ashley in it.

I will return from my adventures with extensive writings, photos, and perhaps even video.  And I will also be forever in your debt, Interwebs.  That means I owe you Italian food and at least a trip to second base the next time you’re in town.

Okay, here’s all the important details:

When: Comic-Con 2012 in San Diego.  Thursday-Sunday.  My schedule is flexible.
Where:  LTT headquarters in the Gaslamp District.  It’s legit swank.
Who:  White Yorkie, Moon, Ashley Greene.
How:  twitter:  @ashleymgreene
Instagram: ashleymgreene
#brunchingashleygreene

Please help me in my quest to brunch Ashley Greene.

White Yorkie out.

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**Yup, that’s right White Yorkie along with me and BrookeLockhart will be at Comic Con tearing it up on your behalf at all the Twilight events as well as all the other bizarro crap we’re into and will report on over at That’s Normal. So make White Yorkie’s day and tweet the crap out of Ashley Greene cause really, ya never know what will happen. Also if you’ll be at Comic Con stay tuned to our Twitter @Letter2Twilight because we might just be going something cool and what you there! **

28 Commented

Hey guys: GET OVER IT!

Yay let's talk about Twilight

Dear George Takei and everyone else who likes to hate on Twilight,

CC: Person who runs Reasoning with Vampires
Every late night chat show joke writer
“TRUE” Sci Fi fans
Half of Comic Con’s attendees
Disgruntled boyfriends and husbands
Friends who don’t “get it”
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GET OVER IT.

First, I know this is for fun and jokes and I’m sure you, George probably didn’t write this and you’re just reading lines that someone who’s never read Twilight and has probably never seen it either wrote but has an axe to grind because they’re writing lines for a “George Takei brokering star peace” video and not sitting back counting money from their best selling novels and films. It’s not this video that bugs me, this is just essentially the straw that broke the camel’s back because you perpetuate all the things misinformed people say about Twilight. Be it angry nerds at Comic Con, joke writers on shows, dumb friends I have, whatever. Cause here’s the thing… IT DOESN’T MATTER! No one in the Twilight fandom is trying to shift the axis of the Sci Fi/Fantasy/Nerd world you all hold so dear. No one is trying to say Twilight is Shakespeare for a new generation. No one is trying to say every little nuance or idiosyncrasy in Twilight makes sense and fits within the cannon and lexicon of the genre. Cause ya know what? It doesn’t matter because why? Because it is fantasy it’s all a story someone made up!

Fantasy is a genre of fiction that commonly uses magic and other supernatural phenomena as a primary element of plot, theme, or setting. Many works within the genre take place in imaginary worlds where magic is common. (via Wikipedia)

By definition this shit doesn’t have to conform to your preconceived notion of what fantasy or SciFi is and isn’t because, guess what – IT ISN’T REAL!!!
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We all have our things that are weird, it doesn’t have to make sense but we like it and it’s ours. Surely you George like some weird shit, you were on STAR TREK for goodness sake. There was an episode with Tribbles and your uniforms had RICK RACK on them. And person running the Reasoning with Vampires Tumblr where you mind numbingly point out the grammatical errors in Twilight, you need to find a new way to spend your time. And yea, I realize the absurdity of someone who writes a Twilight blog telling you that, but at least I acknowledge my absurdity and have fun with it. Instead of dissecting Twilight down to it’s dangling participles and adverb misusage you should go out and write your own best selling book series, sell the film rights and then we can talk ad nauseum about the usage of “irrevocably.” Also, please dissect my awful usage of grammar, spelling and punctuation while you read this, that will make all my AP English teachers, the 32 I got on the ACT, and all the college lit and english classes I tested out of VERY happy.
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Jokes!

To all chat show joke writers, bloggers and any “real” critic who’s written a review about Twilight or friends who post on Facebook. Your jokes are OLD. At this point they aren’t in High School anymore, Edward is not her BOYFRIEND, no one has FANGS. CATCH UP! Sure there’s some “moping” but what good story didn’t ever have moments of introspection, self doubt or flat out angst? Besides all the good jokes are about their vampire baby and her future boyfriend now, duh. And yes, we know they sparkle in sunlight. It’s a thing, we KNOW. If you’re gonna make fun of Twilight at least try actually reading the books or watching the movies to get some new material instead of recycling someone else’s bits from 2008.
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Seriously, I don't care

Comic Con attendees – We’re all there waiting around to listen to panels about nerdy shit, no one is more cool or less cool than anyone at Comic Con, that’s the great thing about it! I don’t give you shit for waiting in line to talk to the guy who inked an issue of the Superman comic 50 years ago or the fact you’re wearing a realistic Centaur costume that has movable parts in public, so don’t give me shit for hitting up the Twilight panel before I go watch the upcoming footage from Spiderman. Oh and guess what, I like Twilight. I also like Star Wars, Comic Books that have been turned into films (and you’ve had a LOT of bad ones), costumes, Lord of the Rings, Walking Dead, Dexter, True Blood, Star Trek (the original version with YOU, George Takei), Harry Potter and graphic novels. Yes, us Twilight fans (and the human race) can like multiple things at once, THAT YOU LIKE TOO. SHOCKING.
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I choose both

Back to you George and this “…there are no great stories, characters or profound life lessons to be had in Twilight…” Ok, I’m down for some jokes, poking fun, and having a good time but when you come at it like that? I don’t think so. Clearly, you haven’t read the books so you just don’t know. But because you don’t know doesn’t mean you can flat out say there are no profound life lessons, characters or stories. Just by the fact we’re talking about this, this blog exists and you made that video, means it’s a great story. It’s captured the imaginations and lives of millions of people who have bought the books and lined up for the movies. We get emails daily about how lives have been changed because of Twilight. We’re two examples right here along with countless others who have shared their stories. As for great characters you’ve obviously never met the flawed Edward Cullen or the selfless Jacob Black or the tragic Leah Clearwater and for that I just feel sad for you. That leaves us with profound truths. If loyalty to family and friends, courage to go against something you don’t believe in and love above all else aren’t profound truths then I don’t know what they taught you in literature and philosophy class.
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Statler & Waldorf

Going back, I get that this video is a joke and you and everyone else are just saying this stuff for a little air time in the hopes of remaining culturally relevant. I get that. My issue is that you perpetuate the dumb jokes, misinformed opinions and the stereotype that Twilight fans are dumb and this story has no merit. Sure, I poke fun at Twilight all the time but at the heart of it I am a fan and I know that under the funny stuff ARE great stories, characters and profound truths. I do want the best for the series, I also want some of the weird stuff to be changed on screen to make it “work” better, but do I hang my life, hobbies and sanity on it? NO! The little things are what make this FUN! And THAT’S what I think some of you are missing from your lives, a little fun. Shit is NOT THAT SERIOUS. We all don’t have to like the same stuff, we all don’t get to “get it” but at least be interesting, do your research and get new material. Your jokes and critiques are TIRED. And plus… there’s always the reboot.

Live long and prosper,
Themoonisdown

PS to the Anne Rice’s and Stephen King’s of the world… we get it you are also best selling authors and have something to say… conveniently when a camera is on or when you’re writing a column but whatever. This applies to you too, go write some more amazing novels and stop worrying about what other people are doing or how they’re writing.

Are you as over IT as I am? I mean sure go ahead make jokes but at least come up with something we haven’t heard that is halfway true, am I right??

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

196 Commented

Story time with Moon – Comic Con 2011

Dear LTT-ers,

A lovely story time with moon will be here once I’ve had time to upload my photos and find videos and finish this left over breaking dawn muffin that booboo served to me this morning. More on all of this later… After I sleep. And find my camera.

Your reporter in the field,
Moon

Dear Breaking Dawn,

It’s been one year since my last big Twilight related event and two years since my last Comic Con, so when you were going to be at this year’s Con I knew I had to be there… Here’s the story…

After one missed train and two missed trolleys, I finally made it down to “Tent City” sometime after midnight the night before the panel. Can I first interrupt and say they need a new name for “Tent City” as that is what they house prisoners in where I grew up (Arizona). New name needed stat!

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While waiting for Hall H to open we took in some of the world’s finest people watching…

This guy was confused… it’s a Wolfpack not a pack of sintars friend! PS The back of this costume had little wheels (sorry to spoil the magic) that scratched across the ground when he walked and sounded like Ringwraiths from Lord of the Rings or nails on a chalk board or a pack of screaming wild she-beast Twilight fans… I guess it was good preparation for what we would encounter later in Hall H

Yup, Comic Con is a place where blue mohawks and Team Edward can coexist much to the chagrin of all the haters
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We ran our arses back to the line because Summit trotted out the 2nd stringer cast members to serve us breakfast and sign autographs

And don’t worry I wasn’t above shoving my LTT Sigg bottle in her way so she would sign it… right next to the outline of Robsten! HA Jokes! The only thing I regret is not bringing the Fake Lesbians design. Fail.
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I think I saw just about every major Twi site owner in line including these two lovelies from His Golden Eyes and The Twilight Lexicon
I decided to creep them out by tweeting them a picture of themselves blogging and tweeting from the line. Don’t mind me, I’m just stalking you…
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And because there is nothing else to do in line but entertainin yourself by people watching becuse you have to save your cell battery and it’s hours till they open the doors I started seeking out the best fan shirts I could find. And wouldn’t you know it they were right around me. aka I’m lazy.
Trust me, click to enlarge, enjoy and laugh your arse off… or maybe set at your desktop background
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About a billion light years (hey, it is Comic Con after all!) later they finally decided it was time to start the annual running the of the bulls Twilight fans. I don’t have any pictures after this because it got a little fuzzy, all I remember was yelling, no running, poor CC volunteers, elbows in my back and Olympic style speed walking.

Hall H – meaning heaven… HALE… hillbillies… hipsters… green Hornets… horny ladies… yup, I think we fiured out what H stands for.
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Having been forewarned by UC and other tweeters that Rob had a “mohawk” we tentatively waited to see what that looked like and then finally we laid eyes on him…

This is essentially the same face we had upon seeing Rob’s shrunken toupee-askew hairdon’t WTF?! I mean it’s one thing to think it’s cool and rock the shit out of it, but it’s another to sit sidways the whole panel so we can’t see the weirdness head on.
O.
Once the screaming died down it was off to the races…

Right off the bat Rob threw his fetish girls a shout out with this water bottle pose…
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Not to be out done he then went for this pose…

Knowing their audience and their love for dark, grainy, photoshop enhanced, are-they, aren’t-they, I lost my contact can you find it with your tongue in my mouth pictures, they threw a bone to the Robsteners with the occasional stolen whispered nothings between questions… or pretty much anytime Taylor or some rando was talking
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Yea, having a faux pregnancy for a film made my boobs this big!! I’d call it sympathy hormones. Yes, please ask me more questions about pregnancy, audience when I am but a 21 year old girl who has never been pregnant, I only play one in a movie… GREAT QUESTIONS.

Srsly people?!

After an aptly time question from a dude for Rob and Taylor asking how it was to work with a lot of hot women these lovely ladies came out to help liven it up which was good because my latte had worn off and I could’t do one more “What was your favorite part of filming” or “Kristen, how did your personal experiences affect how you played a pregnant Bella?” Absurd.

Then these ladies came up and Nikki Reed made it hella awkward by acting super cagey when asked whether the cast would stay in contact after the movies were over. AWKWARD!!!

Wanna watch the whole thing?

Be our guest! Have fun deciding which question was the most cringe-worthy!
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We were also treated to 2 clips from the movie that I can’t seem to find online an I’m SUPER surprised they weren’t up like 2 seconds after they played in Hall H. Well done Summit, scaring the SHIIIZZZ outta everyone.

I really hope this whole sheer shirt/black bra look catches on as the next KStew fashion statement that Twi fans pick up. Anything’s gotta be better than the shirt knot. PLEASE Kristen fans let’s make this new look happen.

More to come here!

Once all that Twilight hub bub was over and once we drowned our frazzled nerves in a few gallons of Diet Coke we headed over to the exhibit hall and wouldn’t you know it we saw an Alpaca!

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Why, yes I did walk around San Diego unashamedly drinking from the Edward the Insurance salesman Breaking Dawn swag cup. Ain’t no thang.

Be Back with more later!
Themoonisdown

Have you seen all the Comic Con pics and Q&A yet? DUDE where are the links to the clips from BD they showed??!!!

Photos by: Me (duh), VixinCali, BrookeLockart, and a ton of others by the end of this…

Announcement from UC after the Jump Continue…

55 Commented