Crazytimes Wednesdays

Almost as Crazy as this fan

Dear Twilight,

You know what we haven’t done in awhile? Shared stories, letters, songs & poems from crazy fans. You thought we stopped getting them, didn’t you? Ohhh no- we still get them. We still keep them. Our “Crazies” folder is STILL over-flowing. And today we have some REALLY good ones to share with you:

Crazy Tune:

Kicking us off is a song written for Breaking Dawn. I’d make up a tune & sing it for you all, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna save that for a bet with Moon that I know I’m going to win- like naming 20 “outfits” Rob Pattinson has worn in the past year & where each item was purchased- and let her sing it when she loses:

Imprinted Love
It’s something I didn’t plan
it’s something I didn’t plan
I told you it’s part of the werewolf gang
I thought you were the only one to see

You’re the one I wanted
not the one I loved
when I saw her I knew she’s the one
went to search for her when she was near
It’s something I feared

Imprinted love on the one I thought who would kill you
imprinted love on the one who held me near
no matter how many times we said goodbye
imprinted love on Renesmee the half mortal and immortal

I didn’t knew she was the one who kept me near
when you wanted me to disappear
The one who stole my heart like Edward stole yours
I’m sorry if you’re mad but like I told you before

Imprinted love is not something you can control
imprinted love is not something you can choose
or change it’s for the one that will take care of your heart
imprinted love on Renesmee the half mortal and immortal

I taught you were my love and my life
but I was wrong
He is your love, your imprinted one
just like Renesmee is my imprinted love

For now I’ll be her brother
the one who protects her, then her friend
whom she can trust and love
maybe one day she’ll learn to love me as I love her

Bella I’ll always be there for you
I’ll always love you just like a son loves his mom
I don’t want anything els than to be your friend
but my true love for Renesmee will always win
imprinted love

Then there’s:
The Girl on Team Edward with “a homeless friend”

Maybe this guy is the crazy fan

Just like all of the fans of the twilight cast My desire is to truly be able to contact them to let them know how we feel about our favorite actor or actress. And to thank Stephenie Meyer, for taking the time to write the novel that sparked life into all our lives. Both women and men. I happen to be Team Edward. My desire is to see him in person. I’ve been tempted to catch the plane, come out there and share the ground with my homeless friend just for the opportunity to see him, walk the runway or visit on the outside of a site where he is working. Hoping to catch sight of him. Sometimes the urge is so great I’ve called my friend to tell her im on my way. I don’t think I would enjoy sleeping outside in the elements But if I knew that I could see him , I would take the chance. I have little hope now that my friend have lost the car she was sleeping in. I was counting on furnishing the gas and she would at least drive me around. I watched when fans put up their tents and envied them, wishing I was there. My children
and grandchildren are embrassed when I talk about Edward and my desire to see him in person. To hear his voice, see his gorgeous hair. But I would be satisfied just to get a e-mail from him. I tried to get to Chicago, when he was there its closer to my home. But I got sick. He was on the Oprah show. I sent him a birthday card to the show . Hope he got it. hope he e-mail me back, I will be waiting.

The kids who never learned celebrities don’t care about you

Hi this is pat and I would like to invite taylor lautner to my sweet fifteen im only twelve so im only gonna need two more years and its going to be in puerto rico and I hope too see him in and come enjoy the party hope to see him.please come taylor.

And the one we totally can’t understand

Did she write this letter?

I am a way ovr obsesses fan (according 2 my friends) but I dont think u can evr b 2 obssesive i mean twilight is amazing and when ppl say they dont like ik theyre just lieing 2 get attention cuz its impossible not 2 luv my favorite book waz breaking dawn but it waz hard 2 coose cuz theyre all amazing i am constantly rereading them over and ovr and my parents r always like stop readin them and read somethin else but i just cant the background on my desktop and laptop r both twilight saga pics and quotes i cant imagine a world w/o twilight i wish it waz real it would b so kwl none of my friends r rly tht into them so i nvr have any1 2 tlk 2 nout them i have so much twilight merchandise and evrythin and read book related 2 twilight 2 like bedazzled, twilight and history, etc. theyre rly interesting and i would give them a try since ur a die-hard twilight fan i am members of a lot of fan fourm/blogs/websites and its great 2 knw tht there r others like me i lu the idea of ur website and think it is rly kwl
thanks so much 4 the websie,
G

And after the jump, PLEASE don’t miss the most Epic Crazy story of all time!! Continue…

105 Commented

The LTT Mailbag – A Grandma leaves me speechless

MAIL CALL!!

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s time to crack open the mailbag and see what goodies the crazies have sent us. Since we don’t have Intern Rob like LTR does to answer emails over there I guess I’ll be forced to. Instead of posting a letter from our super funny readers I’ve broken into our special “crazies” folder to bring you a little chuckle this Monday (ugh) morning…

I get that Bella is in love with Edward but still has feelings for Jacob.  Jacob is suspicious of Edward’s intentions.  Do you think Edward is hiding something more from Bella and Jacob?  I think Edward might not be everything that he says he is.
Love,
Suspicious

Edward on the weekends

Dear Suspicious,
If be not everything he says he is you mean he’s a tranny you would be right. Edward has been living half his life as a woman and performs at the he drag show nights at the Tool Shack in Port Angeles. And you know how he’s always skipping school any time it’s “sunny?” It’s not actually because he glitters, it was because he was up late watching the RuPaul’s Drag Race marathon on Oxygen while sketching new costume ideas with Alice. AAANNNDDD you know that whole glittering business? Well that’s no lie, Edward really does sparkle in the sun but it’s because he’s wearing Body Shimmer from Sephora not because of some vampiric side effects.

SO you were right, Edward really isn’t everything he says he is.
XO,
Moon

I think the 5^th book should be called “The Bleeding Rose, The final Chapter of Twilight”
From – A Reader

Dear A Reader,
I think the 5th book should be called “Midnight Sun.” Get in line.
XO,
Moon

There needs to be more action that will make you jump out of your seat, more drama, adventure, romance, more sexy characters. Does anyone know when Stephanie will be signing books and where to meet her?
Billy

Dear Billy,
Maybe you and A Reader can tell Stephenie this at her book signing for: MIDNIGHT SUN. Whenever that will be. Keep your eyes on the prize people!
XO,
Moon

Ain't no thang just reading LTT/LTR/Robsessed/Twifans/BreakingDawnmovie.org/AARP benefits site

Subject: A Grandma’s Desire
Just like all of the fans of the twilight cast My desire is to truly be able to contact them to let them know how we feel about our favorite actor or actress. And to thank Stephenie  Meyer,  for taking the time to write the novel  that sparked life into all our lives. Both women and men. I  happen  to be Team Edward. My desire is to see him in person. I’ve  been  tempted to catch the plane, come out there and share the ground  with my homeless  friend  just for the opportunity to see him, walk the runway or visit on the outside of a site  where he is working. Hoping to catch  sight of him. Sometimes the urge is so great  I’ve called  my  friend to tell  her im  on my way. I don’t  think  I would enjoy sleeping outside in the elements But  if  I knew  that I could see him , I would take the chance. I have little hope now that my friend have lost the car she was sleeping in. I was  counting on furnishing the gas and she would at least drive me around. I watched when fans put up  their tents and envied them, wishing I was there. My children and grandchildren  are embrassed   when  I  talk about Edward and my desire to see him in person. To  hear his voice, see his gorgeous hair. But I would be satisfied just to get a e-mail from him. I tried  to get to Chicago, when he was there its closer to my home. But I got sick. He was on the Oprah show. I sent him a birthday card  to the  show . Hope he got it. hope he e-mail me back, I will be waiting.
All my love,
TwilightGrandma

She's got a used tissue in here for you

Dear Twilight Grandma,
………………………………………………………..

Sorry but my mind is blown. You’ve seriously considered shacking up with your homeless friend in a CAR to stalk Rob? I’m gonna have to go ahead and say THIS is NOT NORMAL. We’ve done and said some weird stuff in our time but this ranks up there. I totally understand the allure of Edward or Rob or whoever you think he is but you’re a grandma. You should be watching reruns of Murder She Wrote, knitting weird sweaters and eating hard candies covered in pocket and tissue lint, not fantasizing about giving your homeless friend gas money in exchange for tracking down “Edward.”
WOW,
Moon

Yes, friends these are REAL emails we’ve received! We couldn’t be more happy and scared each time we log in to our emails. Feeling frisky and want to write us a letter? Have a question? Have an observation? Rereading the Saga? Want to profess your love for Stephenie/Rob/Summit Entertainment? WRITE US!

Now don’t have a case of the Mondays,
Themoonisdown

I almost gave Edward a drag name but then I thought I’d let you guys create it… So have at it in the comments!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

104 Commented

Twilight & Religion

Dear Twilosophy Class,

Moon & I have made enough DC Talk references & basically figured out a way to text-represent the motions to “Lord I lift your name on High” that you must have figured out by now that we have a Christian background. It’s true- we were brought up in Christian homes which immediately makes sense to a bunch of you, confuses another group of you and turns the rest of you off.

We make Twilight-related Christian jokes sometimes that we know only those who can relate will get. Which is a shame b/c they are REALLY REALLY FUNNY.

Anyway, I got this t-shirt from my Bro-in-law who once brought my husband a t-shirt back from an abstinence conference that said “Lights, Camera, NO ACTION” with a director’s chair on the front. And after laughing hysterically and deciding which activity at church I’d wear it to, I sighed and wondered why religion had to be brought into everything. Can’t I just enjoy a book about vampires without someone making it into a Jesus-eternity reference? Apparently not. Please enjoy my t-shirt, found in the bargain bin at a Christian bookstore:

"What would people think if they hear that I'm a Twilight Freak" (and yes, I am wearing jorts)

Yep. That says “Jesus is THE LIGHT of the world” in the Twilight font and “because of Him You can Live Forever.” What!? It’s not because of Edward biting me than putting a syringe filled with venom into my heart that I can live forever!? I don’t care WHAT your religious beliefs are, any religious group using Twilight to get “Down with the kids” is just as bad as Burger King Edward crowns, Twilight maxi-pads & Volturi credit cards.

Why does this shirt exist? Is it because an pastor’s kid got a little too obsessed with Edward that she started thinking about HIM during nightly prayer? And then her dad, the pastor, called up his old roommate from seminary who runs a “ministry” selling Christian pop-culture t-shirts? Or was it the spurred on by the Pastor’s WIFE who brought vampire cupcakes to the Sunday afternoon potluck for new church members? And later that night she suddenly wanted to spice up their 23 year routine “missionary position” with a little biting of the neck and headboard banging? (*Waving hi to my favorite Pastor’s wife who frequents LTT!*)

There’s a site I go to when I feel like getting mad at the super conservative elements of my upbringing that I won’t dignify with a link because it doesn’t deserve it, but in their review of Twilight they pointed out the negative elements including:

Buttcrack-Santa NEGATIVE? Not-uh. You did NOT go there. That’s enough to make me renounce my faith RIGHT there.

Mormons, a video & a quote you DON’T want to miss, after the jump! Continue…

251 Commented