While I was busy watching the Grammys and suffering through people saying “Who are the Avett Brothers/Mumford and Sons/Arcade Fire?” You were busy making your way through LAX with a chick called Lily Collins, aka your costar in the upcoming flick Abduction. Is that why Taylor wasn’t at the Grammy’s? Did she refuse to put on a pretty pretty princess dress and instead locked herself in her hotel room and tried to think of all the words that rhymed with Lily? We all know Taylor Swift already wrote a number one song about YOU do you really want to give her fodder for a follow up record where she trashes you for having an on set hook up with a costar when that’s how YOU two met? Moving on is sad Taylors…
Since I care for you Taylor I decided to investigate who this Lily Collins girl is. I was hoping she was the heir of the Olive Garden/Red Lobster restaurant chain, or at least the daughter of a McDonald’s franchise owner in the midwest somewhere but as it turns out is just the daughter of some musician named Phil Collins* who was born in Guildford, England aka where Daniel Gale in The Bad Mother’s Handbook is from (someone put me out of my misery for knowing that. my life is embarrassing right now). Also important to note is the fact she’s 21!!! Dude, you like the older ladies… that’s the same as Swifty (someone go give her a hug). She has written in a bunch of magazines, hosted a kids pick the president event, has been cast in the Mortal Instruments adaption and has large eyebrows. We’re taking Camilla Belle/Sandy Cohen level eye brows. So pretty much your basic cute girl next door. ZZZZZZZzzzzzz. Someone wake me up when she writes a song about family taco night at the Lautners or how Taylor gave her a “Women of the Word” devotional book.
The only info you we need to know about this Lily Collins girl is whether she is DTF like Taylor Swift was for you… and if not you better start sending those roses to Taylor Swift again and showing her your “tan skin” cause being non-DTF will just not do for us. Thanks.
I may or may not be DTF,
PS why does your face look like a weird fan manipulation image in that LAX photo?
*I know who Phil Collins is, thanks*
DUDES two Taylor posts, back to back! Where are our Team Jacob girls at? Do we think Lily is DTF or does Taylor really just likes that song from Tarzan?
Tags: , Abduction, Breaking Dawn, DTF, LAX, Lily Collins, Phil Collins, Taylor Lautner, taylor swift