The VILF deconstructed by Stacey and Stacey

(Today Stacey – Snowwhitedrifted or West Coast (WC) and Stacey East Coast (EC) take on the VILF’s we’d love to marry, hit it or just stare at and why they’re so alluring. – moon)

Goose and Maverick the Edward and Jasper of the 80s

Dear VILFS of Twilight (and other series),

In the eighties it was surfers and beach volleyball players. In the nineties it was athletes and firemen. The new millennium, however, boasts vampires as the most coveted object of desire for the female gender. Vampire sex appeal is at an all time high. I think this is partially due to the monster success of Twilight as well as some other factors.

EC Stacey: Wait. Are we getting serious here? The tweed kind of serious. Let me throw on these Kate Spade glasses. Alice approved, ya’ll. Hold on wearing an old David Letterman tee-shirt and Yoga pants, must change into designer…never mind. At least I got the glasses. Okay, Stacey (SWD) commence with your thoughts.

WC Stacey/ SWD: Many people claim that the vampire-ness of Twilight is insignificant and it’s totally a love story. Sure, the Cullens are like the passivist emo-hippies of the vamp world, but they still kick ass, nonetheless.

EC Stacey: Ha ha! I want them to wear tie dyed clothes and beads. Actually, do you think Carlisle and Esme got so sad after the Eclipse fight scene that they wanted to cry, but can’t. So they went back to Casa Carlisle and got all emo listening to Morrisey? Whoops! Got off track. Sexy vampire boys, yay!

Rob and Moz - My wildest fantasies realized! Thanks Fablife!

WC Stacey/ SWD: Morrisey, for the WIN, ha ha ha! I wouldn’t have liked it as much without the vampire aspect. You see, I have been a VILF shipper since I was a kid (duh, the Count (ECStacey: Grover, definitely Grover. Monster. Grr.) was my favorite Seasame Street character), so it was no wonder that Edward (and Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, James, hell even Aro) glamoured the pants off of me. I think this is true for a lot of women. When we break down the characteristics of a vampire, it’s no wonder we offer our necks (ok, and lady bits) willingly.

EC Stacey: Let me get this straight, Aro? I love the Michael Sheen, as much as everybody in the whole world. But Aro? If you said Alec, maybe. Even a creeptastic girl crush on Jane. I want to see that bottle of wine you are drinking. As expected, wine goggles. SWD: OK, note to self, wine in a box enhances wine goggles. If I were drinking “Bitch” wine maybe I’d go fake lesbian for Alice

What Rob's cheek bone structure looks like

WC Stacey/ SWD: Lets start with the fact that Vampires are HOT, well cold actually, but in the looks department they are always stunning. I think every actor born with incredible checkbones signs a deal with the devil to one day play a vampire. Seriously, you could grate cheese on Robs cheekbones (*note to someone, please make that as dirty as possible in the comments).

EC Stacey: Ahh…Rob’s cheekbones… Back on track. I don’t want to leave out the wolves/shifters for you wolfpackers. This might be hard to believe my friends, due to the fact I have a Sophie’s Choice type of love for both Twilight’s Edward and Vampire Diaries Damon. (And yes, I voted for BOTH of them in EW’s Sexy Beast poll. Don’t you judge me.) Originally, I loved the wolf. Seth Green’s OZ on Buffy the Vampire Slayer was my first true supe love. I even married his younger twin. Of course, he’s an accountant and not a rocking guitar player, but I can pretend. SWD: I married Fletch, he has no powers. Also, have you seen Alcide and Sam on True Blood? Nice. Twilight? Jacob’s a buff baby. Okay, Paul’s hot.

WC Stacey/ SWD: So yes, Vampires and Werewolves are beautiful. See exhibit A: (slide show mildly NSFW, mostly because it’s both hands embarrassing)

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Imma enter a Twilight contest

Dear country music lovers, Twilight fans, lovers of contests & closet rappers,

Who can forget the night of September 13, 2009 when we all crowded around our TVs in fear of what Rob would show up wearing, wondering if Ash would have a nip slip on the red carpet, pondering if Kristen’s hair could possible look any worse than at ComicCon and hoping that Taylor wouldn’t charm us so much that we really consider moving to Georgia? And then, our hearts skipped a couple beats as said underage boy in a man’s suit stepped on stage and this happened:

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Congrats Kanye, you’ve again proved to be a douche.

But like everything in pop-culture, Kanye’s a-hole move quickly became a meme and provided us with countless LOLs as “KanyeGate” took over the radio, TV, news reports and interwebs.  It all came to a head when I discovered the Kanye Gate tumblr account, which, of course, had Twilight/Kanye mashups!

Seriously? Photoshopping a little Kanye image with Twilight-related stuff? That looks like SO much fun & RIGHT up my alley. So I gave it a shot (after the jump) Continue…

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