The one where I made a fool of myself for Twilight


Today I was browsing my Facebook feed while trying not to have a nervous breakdown during the Women’s World Cup Shoot Out (I can’t talk about it) and noticed the vintage shop I hit up for costumes, Iguana Vintage, had a Rob and Kristen sighting. No doubt to buy out all of LA’s ugliest vintage sports tshirts and hats. Maybe a new (old) Timberwolves jersey for Comic Con? Holler Team Jacob!!

So while reading I noticed they made a glaring mistake and I felt compelled (or crazed) to comment since clearly I have no problem using my personal account to illustrate what a dork I am to the hippies running Iguana vintage.


Yes, I am that loser that felt the need to correct a Facebook page about Robsten. I have become THAT GIRL. To complete the transformation I will now go around telling people it’s Stephenie Meyer with an E not an A and that it’s PattINson not Patterson and Robsten is REAL it’s true love and Taylor didn’t use any steroids, it’s all natural people… and he’s legal!

And because me calling out the vintage clothes hippies on their Facebook page and raining all over their mothball smelling parade wasn’t enough they then updated with this…

They might as well have said “According to some crazy Twihard we were wrong and Twilight is a film and it’s not actually True Blood and Rob and Kristen aren’t actually Beeeehul and Sooookie and after we found that out we wished we hadn’t given them the 15% off we give our FB fans because they aren’t actually our FB fans and they cleared out our entire sporting section. Jerks. We hate those films.”

So Iguana Vintage this is my formal apology because I’m not THAT girl and I love your mothball smells because I find costumes for all my parties there: Back to the Future, Saints & Sinners, Rockstar Dreams and countless Halloweens too awesome to name all from your Hollywood store, I can’t do the Valley. And I truly don’t care that you know anything about Robsten or their actual names and what shows or movies their in. So can I have that 15% fan discount and my dignity back??


PS Why do those other people who commented have like 5 names each?

Have you done anything like this? Corrected someone about something Twilight-related when it really didn’t matter at all? Why do vintage stores smell like mothballs? Can someone make a vintage store where I won’t sneeze the entire time I’m inside it?

Visit Iguana Vintage

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

73 Commented

Twilight: It STILL follows me everywhere

Dear Twilight,

Moon & I started having a conversation late last week about “When it’s over.” With Breaking Dawn wrapping filming in Louisiana and moving to the last shooting location, the reality that eventually this saga will come to an end is becoming more clear. Sure- we have awhile before the next film let alone the last one. But once filming wraps & besides the weeks leading up to the films’ releases, Twilight-world will be QUIET. Can you imagine that drastic change in all of our lives? I can’t. I’ll let Moon lead us in that discussion sometime soon, but it got me thinking about how wrapped up Twilight is in my life. We’ve discussed it time-and-time before, and to be honest, I can’t believe it hasn’t let up!

For example: we had an impromptu get-together Friday night at our loft & our friend Dan asked, “How’s work?” To which I responded, “It’s okay. Hot Tub sales are slow but I’ve been traveling a lot to some different trainings.” He quickly corrected, “Oh no! I mean the blogs!!!” Still to this day my guy friends want to discuss my ahem “work!”

Welcome to the neighborhood, Brookie

Twilight STILL follows me everywhere. On Saturday, LTT-turned real-life friend turned role-play partner of Moon’s @Brookelockart moved into new digs in Philadelphia. Mr. Choice & I went to help her move in (and due to the fact that it’s a 3rd floor walk-up, the muscles in my legs are now broken for as long as Bella & Edward will love each other. Which is forever. Thanks Brookie). Outside of the U-HAUL truck, I noticed a little present to welcome Brookie to the neighborhood. I pointed it out to her and said “Look- Jacob brought you a dream catcher.” And no lie, a dream catcher was on the ground just outside of the truck. And I swear-to-you- it was not there when I first arrived to help.

As seems to be my Sunday afternoon/early evening routine these days, I tend to stalk people I barely know on Facebook, “like” pictures I was tagged in 2-3 years ago & just overall reminisce about the past. Yesterday was no different and that meant I looked through all 1,018 pictures in which I’m tagged. And what I found was… well, Twilight is still everywhere

For example:

In 2009, I got tagged in a picture posted by a family member because some girl I don’t know did her senior thesis on Gender Stereotyping in literature- focusing on Twilight:

I bet she got an A

My sister went to Spain- and then tagged me in a picture of Twilight in Spanish:

No comprendo

In December 2008 my friend Tagged me in THIS picture with the caption spelled exactly how I have it listed below:

Believe it or not, this was the dude from twilite in 88


My Grandmother bought me THIS for Christmas 2 years ago & shared it with all her Facebook friends:

And who could forget that EPIC moment in the summer of 2008 when I was sitting on the beach reading the final pages of Breaking Dawn, and some family member dared interrupt me for a group picture:


And of course as I was internet-stalking/reminiscing about the last 6 years old my life captured on Facebook forever, I was listening to iTunes on shuffle. And shuffle it did- to THIS beautiful audio-clip:


IT follows me- EVERYWHERE! And for some reason, it still surprises me… even after all this time!

Don’t change, Twilight. I’m not ready to say good-bye to you quite yet,


Where has Twilight followed YOU lately!? Share in the comments! And whoa- the actors haven’t even arrived in Vancouver yet and we ALREADY have more info & pictures leaked than we did the entire time they were in Louisiana? Phew- gives us something to talk about later this week!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

121 Commented

Monday Funnies: Cuz nothing's funnier than laughing at Twilight

Dear Twilight,

I’m so glad we can laugh at your expense. Cuz Lord knows that the list is growing of reasons why I need to laugh: Pics surfaced of Robsten having an intense argument at the Kings of Leon concert about who would have the most grease if they wrung their hair into a measuring cup; when writing about how I was scarred because I accidentally clicked on the snail & dragon penis‘ 3 times on Friday, I accidentally clicked on them another 3 times; I forgot Bella & Edward’s anniversary; I went to three cupcake places yesterday and all three were closed; Plus Cam Gigandet’s 27th birthday was yesterday, and I was really pissed cuz my “Important Twi dates” calendar had it wrong and listed his birthday as today, and then I realized instead of being pissed that I missed it I should just be embarrassed that I have an “Important Twi-dates” calendar. So, I need these laughs:


After the jump- a little bonus Monday Funny: Continue…

136 Commented

How do people know I like Twilight?

Dear Twilight,

I might be a little paranoid.  My Facebook quote has said for awhile:

Sometimes I go into a store, and try to be as casual as possible… but I just have this major fear that… they know…

twilight-book-coverI do! I fear that when I’m browsing the books at Target, not even LOOKING for Twi-stuff, everyone STARES at me when my eye catches the black cover of one of the books. When I’m in line at the checkout counter at the grocery store, and I casually pick up the latest Cosmo mag to see if they’re still trying to convince people that guys like hot/cold “down there” (they don’t…) and I notice a teeny tiny pic of Rob, I feel like people hear my heart skip a beat and STARE. I’m paranoid. Clearly

A friend recently wrote on my facebook wall, “UC! I haven’t talked to you in forever. I’m reading the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer (you know they’re a new fan when they give you too much info as if you wouldn’t know what series they were talking about) and my husband told me about your blog! I LOVE it!” Okay #1) How the H does your husband know about my little secret blog? #2) NOT ON MY FACEBOOK WALL! I know I act all uber open & passionate about Twilight on LTT & LTR, but I do not talk about it in person. It kills me not to correct someone when they call him “Robert Patterson” or say the series takes place in “Forks, Oregon,” but I don’t do it. I’m smoothe, I’m cool… I’m not outing myself for Twilight.

Recently Moon & I received an e-mail from a wonderful LTT/LTR reader named “K.” It said:

You found me on facebook!?  What?! I kinda felt like you guys do when people randomly mention your blog to you and you panic that people know.  I don’t mind reading hilarious blogs and sharing hot, goofy, or hilarious pics and other such things to people I’ve never met but share the same infatuation, but I need to salvage my dignity and reputation as a sane human being by pretending I don’t know what people are talking about when they mention sparkling men or naughty dumpster fantasies.

I’m the kind of person, that when asked if I’ve read/like Twilight, I respond, “yeah, I read the books a while ago (also last week) and thought they were pretty good.” Minor downplaying, you know, just so I’m still credible in the eyes of the rest of the human race.

Anyways, so I’m sure you can imagine my momentary dilemma when I got this friend request: to-be-friend or not-to-be-friend. As tempting as it was, I just had to click ignore.

So, I guess this is just my letter to you, apologizing for being that kid in high school who would myspace all weekend but pretend they’ve never seen you before come math class monday morning.

Anywho, I love you both though I’ll never publicly admit it. <3 K

We weren’t hurt! I would never be friends with us on Facebook if I wasn’t actually us. (Actually, neither one of us ARE friends with LTT on facebook… ha!)

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

So, I’ve been thinking about why I won’t “out” myself and really confess to my “real” world how big of a fan I am. Besides the obvious reasons of the crazy fan-girl lusty moments I have over Robert Pattinson, I think it’s because Twilight isn’t “okay” for adults to like. Don’t get me wrong- WE think it’s ‘okay’ because we GET IT. But I’d say the majority of people judge it as young adult/teenage-nonsense/MTV garbage. We’ve all read the interviews with Stephenie- she never set out to write Young Adult fiction…. I’m gonna argue that I don’t think she did write young adult fiction. I just think that’s the genre her publisher put her in.

Crap. Darn that Little brown bear. Or little Bear Brown… Whatever… Darn Steph’s publishing company for making me live a secret life. And while I’m ‘darning’ people (yes, I say darning, please love it), Darn Robert Pattinson for being so damn hot and making me get so lusty online that I have to hide in this virtual bubble where I spent the majority of my time. So much time that often when I come out of my bubble into the ‘real’ world I answer people by saying “That’s Normal,” introducing myself as “UC,” referring so often to my friend “Moon” in Los Angeles that I joke people must think we’re becoming “fake lesbians.” Yes, I get strange looks.

Maybe it’s not such a crazy idea to think that people are staring at me….Maybe I’m not as normal as I think…..

Nah, “That’s Normal”

Be Normal in The Forum
Lust over Rob on LTR
Read more Twilosophy here

So what is it? Why do most of us hide our obsession from our ‘real’ lives!?

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The things we do for Twilight

Dear Twilight,

You’ve made me crazy. Yep. Crazy. There I was- a perfectly normal 25 year old girl with a slight love of subway sandwiches, Harry Potter, Facebook, kittens (okay I’m obsessed with kittens) and music. Suddenly, after being quite bored on a family vacation, I’m obsessed with vampires. VAMPIRES! And then after seeing a movie with a few friends in November (a movie that wasn’t actually that good, by the way) I’m suddenly obsessed with a BOY (who, coincidentally was IN Harry Potter.. so WIN for me!) I’m married! I love my husband! A lot! And this BOY is younger than the geeky cousin- EW!

I’ve done the craziest things for you:

-I took a 5 hour flight to visit a friend and then stood outside a HOT TOPIC to meet Ashley Greene and buy a DVD that I just ended up selling on ebay. Let me repeat. I went to Hot Topic (multiple times actually) And stood in a line. Until 5am (eastern time.) I forgot to mention above, I’m obsessed with sleep

-I went to a 100Monkey’s concert. And I’m a music snob. And they’re not good

-I talk DAILY to friends I made on the internet. How do I know you aren’t 54-year old men who play with themselves while looking at pics I text you, EastFriend & WestFriend? (uh, note to self, stop sending EastFriend & WestFriend half dressed phone pics of myself.. just in case)


I got picked up by Vickyb at the San Diego train station & we met Mrs.P for lunch downtown. I just trusted that Vickyb wasn’t gonna kill me.  And how did I know that Mrs.P’s teeny daughter wasn’t a cute ploy to get me to let down my guard so they could rob me of my millions?

If you're wondering if Mini Edward greeted me in San Diego, he did...

If you're wondering if Mini Edward greeted me in San Diego, he did...

Please say hi to my gangsta booty

Please say hi to my gangsta booty

-I went BY MYSELF to Philly to a Jewish-Southern fusion brunch place and met AmourPSU. First of all, what the freak is Jewish-Southern fusion? Do you think AmourPSU made it up and staged a brunch place so she could drug me, insert something into my brain and steal all my creative ideas?

-The other night I was at a loud, crowded bar with some friends. I could barely hear my friend Ray say, “That’s what she said” after everything my husband said (he says it so often I’ve changed it to: “That’s what Ray says”). But don’t worry, I heard the girl at the next table explain to her date how she likes the series “Twilight,” and I swung my head around so hard my neck muscles STILL hurt.  No one else noticed. And I wasn’t even the closest person to her.

twilightpartyOne day I was just minding my own business driving home when, going 45 m.p.h. I pass a road sign that I SWEAR says “Twilight Party 5/30.” I SWERVE into the parking lot and drive to the other entrance to see if my eyes deceived me or not. They did not. The mudshack pottery studio is having a Twilight Party on Saturday. What are they gonna do? Make clay figurines of Edward? How gay. Oh, and you know I’ll be there…

What happened? How did I, a perfectly sane girl who occasionally did crazy things like dress up like Moaning Myrtle for the Harry Potter opening movie night become the: meets internet friends in person without a second thought, stays up till 5am at a HOT TOPIC to meet a girl from a movie that wasn’t that good, looks awkward in public places, almost gets into accidents, makes a fool out of herself-type girl over a book ABOUT VAMPIRES…… Oh, I also have given up all hobbies, all real life friends and spend Friday nights at home…. all to run 2 blogs….

FML? or…no.. I love my life…

You’re worth it. Friends, vampires, Rob, the Internets, Twilight…. I <3 you enough to go crazy for you

*omg… I’m KNOWN by a fake name from a MUSE song..! ugh!

I love all my internet friends more than you’ll ever know. And EastFriend/WestFriend if you DO turn out to be old dudes, well, I think you’ll be the best old dude friends I’ll ever have… you can’t get rid of me!

Concerned about the hos and dbags that will be surrounding our precious Rob on Sunday at the MTV Movie awards? Check out what Moon has to say at LTR

What has Twi made YOU DO? Leave us a comment then chat it up over at The Forum

We have some FUN stuff planned for the MTV movie awards so check back this weekend on The Forum our Twitter & the Blogs!

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