And the winners are…

Your Hostesses for the evening...

Dear LTT-ers,

Hello and welcome to the beautiful WordPress Auditorium here on this lovely day in the interwebs! Today is the day we’ve been waiting all never year for! The ballots have been collected and counted by the accounting firm of UC and Moon pop a bottle of your finest Boone’s Farm champagne and throw on your finest borrowed dress (this IS Hollywood) because today is the day we find out who won the LTT awards!

The finest minds in the fandom have come together to bring you the very best of last year. As a reminder all winners are chosen by SECRET ballot but you can thank the academy (random people we like in the fandom) below. Now without further adieu I present you… THE LTT AWARDS!!!

*cue UC and Moon doing a musical number which sounds an awful lot like the Twi Musical number we posted last week*

Let’s get to the awards shall we? I hope you’ve filled out your home ballots and are keeping score with your friends.. Let’s Do This!

The LTT Awards! Awarding excellence and epic fail in the Twilight fandom! 

1. Award for achievement in bending the truth so far even they don’t know what’s a lie anymore
…and the winner is… Any person who has seen Robert Pattinson at any location with any woman ever.

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2. Best actor/actress in a fake relationship
and the winner is… Kiowa Gordon and “music”

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3. Weirdest guest at the Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 Premiere
…and the winner is Jackson Rathbone’s Suit. Our eyes have still not recovered though we hope he’ll one day teach us the finer points of applying Guyliner.

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4. Best leather jacket of Taylor Lautner’s
…and the winner is… ALL OF THEM!

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5.  Best gray suit of Taylor Lautner’s
…and the winner is… what do you know, ALL OF THEM!

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6. Best Twi cast member’s Dad

7.  Award to the fandom that will take away the spotlight and crazy from Twilight in 2012
…and the winner is… by a landslide… congrats Hunger Games!!! We happily give you this burden crown to bear! Good luck to Joshifer and Jenniam! Though until we see one of the cast members’ faces tattooed on some chick’s back, they have nothing on the twi fandom.

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8. Robert Pattinson’s worst hair of 2011
…and the winner is… Comic Con sideways toupee hairdo! Proving Rob could show up looking like hell from a 4 day bender, eye brow-less and wearing a trash bag and we’d still be turned on.

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9. Best Twilight related Tweeter
… and the winner is… No one since Billy Burke stopped drunk tweeting.

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10. Best non cast/official Tweeter
…and the winner is… *cue the In Memorium piece to @DelaneyG84*

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11. Biggest Fandom Drama of 2011
…and the winner is… A TIE between SQID aka E.L. James “publishing” and possibly getting a Hollywood deal for her crackfic. This time next year, we expect to see her accusing Stephenie Meyer of copyright infringement. Premiere Camping drama and Robert Pattinson seen with anyone besides Kristen.


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12. Biggest thing Nikki Reed did this year that annoyed the Robsten-er’s/Krisbians?
…and the winner is…  EVERYTHING! Her breathing, joining Twitter, getting married, looking genuinely happy, her “story” in Seventeen, releasing that song, her existing in the same universe.

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13. The most likely to implode post Twilight
… and the winner is… Kiowa Gordon and Bronson Pelletier

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14. The best usage of their 15 minutes of fame
…and the winner is… Kellan Lutz!! Between charity, tweeting, landing an undies ad, showing us his bulge with no shame, telling his mom to get a breast exam, dating a CW star and planning board games nights with Ashley, Kellan did it all! Not to mention he looked good and acted like a human being to fans whilst doing it! BRAVO!

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15. Twilight related person/cast member/etc. who used their short amount of fame time the BEST way
…and the winner is…by another landslide THE ENTIRE WOLFPACK! For good and not so good reasons There are several members who have used it for good. Booboo, Chaske, and Tinsel have all done significant charity work and tried to be role models. Boo Boo Stewart. He’s on TMZ every other day, but acting totally normal. He’s good at “running into the paps” to get his face out there but isn’t incredibly annoying about it. Then there are some other wolf pack members who show up to Twicons with boring answers to questions and take photos with fans while sticking their tongue out and acting moronic.

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16. Best music related Twilight endeavor
…and the winner is… The Belgium ladies musical, everything else is NO CONTEST. Yes, Alice and Bella Not an Addikt for the MAJOR WIN. We don’t even care that it was technically 2012 when it came out it’s about Breaking Dawn Pt 1 so there.

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17. The LTT Icarus Award – The nominee that soars closest to the sun, only to fall the farthest. The actor/musician/commenter/blogger/Tweeter/author/Twi legend that fails so miserably, it has to be recognized
… Taylor Lautner in Abduction

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and because it HAS to be handed out, the retroactive Icarus Awards goes to The Dallas Twicon!

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18. The most anticipated Twilight related event/moment in 2012
…and the winner is… The lavish wedding or bitter break up of Robsten

WE KID WE KID! Of course it’s Breaking Dawn Part 2: The End WAH WAAAAAH WAAAHH!!! NOOO!!!

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Congratulations to all the winners and better luck next time to the losers. We’re already running over time so we’re gonna throw it to you commenters for the final say. Until next year…

Moon and UC

You all deserve one of these!

Super big thanks to our secret voters who’s answers are all anonymous and credited to no one!
@einfach_mich, The Obird, Janetrigs, Bella and Alice Not an Addikt, Jenny Jerkface, JodieO, Brooke Lockart, The Lex, Lori and Laura, E at Twilightish, Twilight Examiner, Twilight Poison, and a few that wish to remain even more anonymous! You’re all awesome and hilarious and brave and we can’t wait for 2012 and another round of awards!
Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

Business Time after the jump!
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36 Commented

Eclipse Reality Index

Dear Eclipse,

My dear friends @Too_Far_Gone & @lula34 and I LOVE Gossip Girl. That means that every Tuesday, after the latest episode Monday night, we share blog posts we found and stories from the episode the night before. And, of course, lusty videos of Chuck Bass. One of our favorite weekly routines is reading The New York Mag’s Gossip Girl Reality Index where they rate the “realness” or “Fakeness” of an episode & arbitrarily assign points. The 3 of us did this for Remember Me and we’re doing it today for Eclipse. Let’s see how real Eclipse really is!

Realer than Jacob’s vivid tent fantasies that Edward obvious knows about and later uses on Bella because they were pretty damn good ideas. In yo’ face, Jake:

Edward tries to distract Bella from studying from her English final – typical horny male behavior. Plus 5

Vitamin R in the afternoon! It’s happy hour at the Swan house! Plus 3

Sex talk between father & daughter just as awkward as one would expect, even though the father is the coolest & has a rockin’ stache’ Plus 7, but “Dad, I’m a virgin” and she’s dating THAT HOT PIECE? Minus 7, because that’s just not fair.

Jacob’s Cheshire cat smile when Bella hops on the bike with him. I don’t even want to KNOW what kind of thoughts Edward overheard after that. Plus 4

Wonder why Bella has no style sense...

Renee’s white trash outfit at the beach- so Florida plus 3

Chief Black wearing a cowboy hat as a replacement headdress. SWEET. Plus 2

The “let’s sit around the campfire and tell wolf pack/3rd wife stories” scene is just as boring on screen as it is in the book. The upside? It’s the perfect time to go potty and grab a pack of peanut M&Ms. Plus 3

Rosalie THROWS the paper across the room before stalking out to the porch, remaining just in sight of everyone in the living room. Plus 5, because I’ve pulled this move at least once in every fight I’ve had in the past 6 months. A proper bitchy departure takes practice.

Rosalie’s attitude and general hatred of Bella – very realistic, possibly because Nikki actually hates Kristen in real life? Either Plus 3 for Art imitating Life, or for excellent acting on Nikki’s part.

Leah’s bitchy attitude towards Bella when she stops over to see Sam & Emily, plus 8, because the girl has to hear Jacob’s very vivid thoughts about her. And unless Leah’s a closeted lesbian…. no girl wants to hear that….

My boobs look great in yellow

Having Anna Kendrick’s Jessica be the Valedictorian of their graduating class, giving that awesome speech so that her mere screen presence could class up the joint? As real as the hair on her head. And probably only her head, because everyone else in that cast wearing a wig. (Also, we needed her presence desperately, even for only a few minutes, because Michael Sheen wasn’t in Eclipse. Sad.) Plus 23

Edward proposing with a miniature cheese grater ring (approved by Stephenie Meyer, TM) and giving Bella blue balls, all in the same night? Yep, that’s totally Eclipse. Plus 38 but minus 12 for my blue balls

Everyone at the graduation party is in cute dresses and heels… Bella shows up in a blue chambray button-up and jeans. Plus 3 for realistic costumes, Minus 1 for the chambray shirt.

Jacob tells Bella she’ll warm up faster if she’s naked. Plus 30 for the attempt

Victoria uses her boobs and other ASSets to make Riley do what she wants. How else does a woman get what she wants from a man? Plus 8.

While showing the wolves how to throw down against an army of newborn vamps, Jasper whoops the asses all of his family members. Except for Alice. Because she is badass. But she kisses him anyway. Because that is who she is and that is why we love her the most. Plus 17

Anyone spot the vampire in the 3 piece suit and wool overcoat? Riley doesn’t discriminate when it comes to making newborns! Plus 4 for anti-discrimination.

Jacob has a camo-bedspread. Plus 35, because it’s all in the details.

Points= 181

See what’s fake after the jump! Continue…

213 Commented

Twilight cast member endorsements!

Dear Twilight Stars-

I’ve been thinking about you lately (shocking, I know) and I’ve thought about some ways you can parlay this popularity into cash money in your pockets! You’re seen daily with a variety of products and all without an endorsement deal! And it struck me, you guys need to be spokeswhores for your favorite products! Talk about making a little mad money on the side and all for doing what you normally do!

I’m sure you’re skeptical of attaching your name and likeness to any product so I’ve drafted up a couple proofs to show you the possibilities!

Now Wolves, you guys are a little less known that the main characters currently but together as a group you have more star power, so when I saw these pics…

Hot men in UGG-ly boots!

I knew you’d be the perfect spokesmen for UGG boots! Over the last few years the boots have gone from must have to must only wear at home but with you guys sporting them you can boost the demand for not only the women’s line but the mens! And you’re already doing it, all you have to do is walk around on set, flash a little chest, look whimsical and presto, instant spokeswhores!

I vant yo suck yo blood

I just saw these pictures of you in dracula/goth/vampire shiz for some MTV show and thought, wow you would be the perfect spokeswhore for America’s favorite psuedo parent scaring (except Moon Mom) store in the mall.  Goth kids everywhere would weep black smudged tears of relief to see someone who really “gets it.” Cure and Joy Division albums not included.

Follow the cut to see more Twilight spokesperson opportunities
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Twilosophy of the fandom – REAL Twilight fan?

REAL fan?!

Dear LTTers/Twilosophy Majors,

For quite some time now we’ve been reading emails, viewing other sites posts, receiving comments, and talking between us about what it is to be a “REAL fan.” We’ve been told by countless people that because of what we post we are not “Real fans”  and we’ve read on many other fansites and blogs and been on email chains toting the tenants of a “REAL fan” And apparently we (and many of you) are not “Real fans” because  being a ‘REAL fan” means something quite different to us than them. To certain folks, being a fan, means always agreeing with the powers that be, always saying something nice or non-divisive, loving everything about the saga or movies, opposing any sort of speculation or the posting of any possible rumors and god forbid: posting a picture taken by a paparazzo! The horror! But we beg to differ (of course!) because we definitely do all the above so-called no-no’s but we also love this saga like McAdams loved Gosling (RIP). And who’s to decide the level of someone else’s fandom? Can we really base our love for something on these outward displays of devotion?

• does kissing butt and blindly accepting everything make you a “real fan”

• does bringing up objections and differing opinions make you any less of a fan?

• Does it make us less of a fan of the actors or books by posting a paparazzi picture?

• When we write something in jest about an actor or character does that make us mean spirited?

I still read every little dumb post, read every article and buy every magazine (well the ones with the good pics!), own TWO full sets of the saga, own a Pocket Edward, co-write two blogs about Twilight and Rob, talk incessantly about the stories, have recommended the books to countless people and yet I’m not a “REAL fan?”

Because I’m a word nerd I looked up the word “fan” and here’s what we get…

Fan –noun
an enthusiastic devotee, follower, or admirer of a sport, pastime, celebrity, etc.
Origin:
1885–90, Americanism; short for fanatic

Synonyms:
supporter, enthusiast, ardent admirer, booster, addict

Not a fan!

Ok, so I’m pretty sure we could be called enthusiastic devotees and ardent admirers and most definitely ADDICTS! So what does it all mean? UC and I have sat around dwelling on this topic for months now and we hope that it comes across in the right way. Not as a pat on the back for ourselves but as validation to the other countless fans, YOU GUYS, who are just like us, think it’s alright to do all those things listed above and still be a fan! That’s why we started a blog- not just for the hell of starting a blog- but to be different. To say something interesting about the Saga we love. To BE those true fans who say “I love this so much I’m not afraid to admit that you suck in that moment” To say – no- you did it wrong. Because by doing that makes our happiness and excitement that much more genuine.

You know those friends or boyfriends when you ask “does this make me look fat?” or “What do you think of this dress?” automatically answer “YES?” While it’s nice to hear a compliment, in the end I’m going to trust the person who told me I looked like “a stuffed sausage in spanx” for advice over the “You look like Heidi Klum” person any day, because I know they’re being honest and want the best for me. And I only look like Heidi Klum on weekends after all.

Yes, frequently

On the same tip, when someone writes a review in the New York Times- they’re honest (and yes, I’m comparing us to the New York Times, go with it for the sake of the lecture!) They don’t say what they think the publishing house wants them to say. They don’t take the authors feelings into consideration. They are truly honest- and I think it’s important for people to have their own opinions. And equally as important: we need to leave room for other people’s opinions who differ from our own! it’s like “they” say: variety is the spice of life, differences make the world go round, never turn down a free filet-o-fish or whatever it is “they” say.  So that’s what we will do and continue to do. Write honest, while humorous, looks at saga and movies we love so much while being open for differing opinions, LOVING the good and calling out the bad.

a REAL fan,
Themoonisdown

So what say you? Do you feel like there are signs for true fandom? Have you been judged as a fan either way?

Don’t miss out on some Rob goodies at Letters to Rob
Real fans love the forum!

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Kristen Stewart, pregnant with Rob’s lovechild? Or just bloated?

Dear LTT-ers, Robstenites, Nonstenites, and general gossip hounds,

Recently a most outrageous “news” story began circulating around the interwebs. Rag mags, gossip sites and weirdos alike have been reporting that Kristen Stewart is pregnant! Yes, the 19 year old, barely legal, girl from Zathura, the chosen one of Stephenie Meyer, aka Bella is allegedly PREGNANT. Now I’m not one to believe most stuff from the Rag mags until the star themselves confirm it. But what’s the fun in waiting? So I’ve gathered together a panel of obsessed freaks experts on the subject of all things Twilight, Kristen and pregnancy. We’re going to treat this like our very own cable news show so sit back and relax as we bring you all the facts, reactions and advice on:

HARDBALL with Themoonisdown

Hello and welcome to our very first addition of Hardball, today is Friday, July 10th, 2009 and here’s what we know on the Kristen Stewart might be pregnant news front…

The Aussie tab’s insider says, “When [Stewart] worked out she was late, she obviously started to thinking that she could be pregnant. And because of the timing, she thinks Rob could be the father.”

The gossip mag also reports she had a friend buy a home pregnancy test for her and that she is “very nervous about the whole situation.”

As evidence, the mag ran a shot of Stewart with a small round belly on the set of her upcoming film, “The Runaways.”

Naturally reps for Stewart and Pattinson have not confirmed whether there is any truth to the New Weekly’s report.

Click to enlarge the NEWS

As it stands this is what we know: Kristen Stewart is supposedly “late” in getting her monthly visitor. And of course thinks that a one Mr. Robert Pattinson is the father, nevermind her ex-boyfriend who from all accounts she was still with 2-3 months ago. Kristen Stewart has an unknown “friend” buy her a pregnancy test. And finally as physical evidence we have a photo of Kristen from the set of the Runaways with what reporters are calling a “small round belly.”

I turn now to my panel of highly esteemed journalists, Robsten followers, snarky commenters and legal experts for their reactions… Let’s play Hardball!

LOOK AWAY FROM HIS EYES!!

First up from the always on top of it Rob Pattinson site “Robsessed” we have the lovely Gozde. What is your opinion of the news that Kristen might be pregnant with Rob’s love child?

Gozde: Rob can impregnate with a stare, true story, but for this time I say ‘What a Load of Crap’

Moon: As proof Gozde has brought along this lovely picture at right to help prove her point. Can we get that on the screen now? (look to your left) *sees rob* Uh… yea I’m gonna have to say you might be right… I feel my ovaries spontaneously ovulating… NEXT expert! Quickly!!

Kristin: *interupting* “I would also like to mention that after seeing pictures of Rob and Ruby (his pint sized costar for Remember Me) together, my uterus spontaneously impregnated itself, so if there is a babymama, It’s me, spelled with an IN. Just in case you were all wondering…”

Moon: Well, I guess we’ve proven your point Gozde, maybe a Kristen IS pregnant from his stares, it just might be OUR KristIN, instead. Why don’t we toss this to the super wonderful TwiCrackAddict for her take. What do you think TwiCrack, pregnant or not?

TwiCrackAddict: “Hullo? If having a lil’ pooch is evidence of being knocked up, then people must think that my ever-present Food-Induced-Belly-Bump is an indication that I’m pregnant with sextuplets these days. Sorry, I’m just puffy and eat too much ice cream”

Follow the cut to see what else the panel has to say, and IS SHE PREGNANT?? Come back after this commercial break
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