Breaking it down: Lime green, helicopters and Twilight rick rolling

Dear LTT-ers,

Some pictures from the Breaking Dawn set of honeymoon reshoots in the Virgin (ahem) Islands this weekend have finally made their way onto the interwebs in all their lime green and water socked glory. We break it down…
.

The one where Walmart sells Krisbian brand bikinis
UC: new love making pictures
Moon: oh lawd
UC: so Bella would never wear a lime green bikini
Moon: i was thinking the same thing. i mean really? lime green?
UC: Alice must’ve run out of time… Ran to Walmart & grabbed something from last season when packing
Moon: right who wears lime green? and WTF is going on here:

UC: well in real life she’s supposed to look “naked” but in LTT life I like to think that Kristen is making a fashion statement
Moon: is the green bikini just taped on? like her boobs are so amazing clothes just cling to them, they have to be close to the queen at all times? so i guess we can safely say the green bikini is a krisbian brand
UC: hahaha i think that’s a safe guess
.

The one where we don’t comment but we do:
Moon: presented without comment (yet):

UC: exactly what i was thinking….. classing it up in St. Thomas what wahtttt!
Moon: right. playing the sweet virginal sad bella. smoke it up. i’m not trying to make a judgment call on smoking but come on. i have many friends who do and i will occasionally partake of a clove ciggie but i dont know….. its like tons of kids look up to you, you know. as much as you like it or not. and we know she doesnt like it
UC: it’s gross. I’ve done it. I still do sometimes when I’m drinking & am making stupid decisions and it’s gross. Note to kids: DON’T SMOKE JUST BECAUSE KSTEW DOES
Moon: bella and edward dont like it when you smoke, kids. it makes them cry * cue “the more you know” music *
.

The one where it’s actually Kristen

Moon: this is actually how i picture kristen… they should just sub out the lime green for the pot-kini. save that 20 bucks they spent at target and the wardrobe budget will now equals 56 dollars total
wig budget = free from the party city leftover bin after halloween going out of business sale
UC: hahahhahahahahaha. that’s a funny picture. please photoshop pot leaves onto that. maybe add a hat
.

The one where Rob is a tech nerd
Moon: in other news: rob is a super nerd and brings his ipad to the beach

Moon: i wonder if he has a team edward cover for it?
UC: I wonder if he has an LTT cover (Link- i think cafe press has them)! he has “Big in Japan”
Moon: cause he is… after a really big meal of ramen. gives you the bloat.
.

The one where we gas up the helicopter

Moon: do you think that dude behind him just saw the robsten-copter circling overhead?
UC: hahahahah Yes. With fans attaching their parachutes.. ready to jump. ON Rob
Moon: robsteners and the paps rented boats for s. america so maybe they upped their game for the Caribbean and took to the air? they just tell the pilot to circle while they throw out handfuls of glitter on the holy couple. “rainbows of love” as they call it
UC: The actually rip off pieces of a bear skin rug & use it as confetti showering it upon their heads
Moon: They have some poor PA scurry around the set snatching up the pieces to fashion into a full size one because you can’t waste bearskin AND they forgot their travel size for the trip.
.

I need a full table setting for 12

The one with the real royal couple
Moon: now that they’ve “outted themselves” (heh) they have to figure out a way to upstage the REAL royal couple, Kate and William’s wedding this weekend. do you think some kissing photo will just MAGICALLY leak saturday morning? just to remind the public who REALLY matters and to stop pulling attention away from the magicness
UC: I think there will be a pregnancy rumor… maybe a photo of Bella with child on the cover of a mag
Moon: or some “mysterious” twitter
.

Our lovely Stephanie on the BD set

The one where we finally figure it out:
Moon: do you think rob went crabbing after the shoot in his wet suit and water socks, or did he hit up the water slide?
*time passes*
Moon: OH MAN! i think i know why that bikini is ugly lime green!!!
UC: GREEN SCREEN!!!
Moon: green screen color!!! they can replace it with whatever they want
UC: it just hit me too!
UC: smart….. (shhh don’t tell them i said that) what do you think she’ll be wearing? a little mermaid costume?
Moon: the potkini… they lost it after spring break 1993
UC: Will they CGI in some big beautiful bouncing breasts?
Moon: i just threw up
Moon: maybe her boobs will phase into wolves? she gets “THO” and BOOM wolves!
UC: they’re going to put her into a wolf bikini. just another FU to jake. gift from Edward. obviously

The one where I do some Twilight rick-rolling

Still too easy

Moon: oh and what about this one http://static.newmoonmovie.org/bdm/images/2011/04/ijsqf.jpg
First thoughts!
UC: hahahahaha
UC: First…. I had no idea who that was. Second, I wanted to get our my tweezers & pluck that unibrow. 3rd I laughed b/c it’s Jason playing a fake violin i mean non-existent violin. 4th I remembered the awfulness of the 100 monkeys and how serious he’s taking it
Moon: jason? who the heck is jason? and you call yourself the SUPERFAN… tsk tsk
UC: 5th I questioned… is that really jackson. I mean Jackson!!!
Moon: he really wanted that as his avi he tweeted it was his fave pic
UC: omg
Moon: i tweeted back and said “too easy.” I mean come on! you’re just asking for my mock and ridicule
UC: tweet him something we’ve made
hahaha
Moon: the facial hair is the catfish phase. this must have been last yr was this his subtle cry to be cast in WFE. then ron came by and took that role from him too. oh the humanity
Moon: he looks like a huge tool
UC: HUGE tool

Seriously, it’s too easy Jackson. I mean come on now. But is anyone else a little sad that this is it. This is the end of filming……. UC hold me!!!!!

It’s not the end… (it sorta is),
Themoonisdown

Did you wish it was the potkini? Do you think that Kristen/Rob/Taylor etc are role models to younger kids? Should they at least put on a more wholesome public front? Are you sad this is the beginning of the end?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

130 Commented

Stop the presses: some mini letters to some Twilight people

Land of no cameras!

Dear Baton Rouge,

OMG stop the presses and hand me my heart meds because apparently there IS one person in Baton Rouge with a camera!!!!! I know this is shocking for you all too since no one’s seen an outsider since the town was established hundreds of years ago and so of course new fangeled technology like a camera must be frightening. But come here, I’ll hold you while we get over our surprise and shock and fear.

Sure it may be Jackson Rathbone with a fan near a See’s Candy Store but STILL it is SOMETHING! This gives me hope for your city and that maybe this little fan moment is a turning point. Maybe Jackson and his weird hat and Jasper-esque jacket (you are not on set Jacky!) broke down the walls for everyone to start snapping those shutters and maybe we’ll just be in a deluge of pictures till they leave… Or maybe I’m entranced by Jackson’s awkward facial expression in this picture and Vancouver and their paps will wipe the floor with your silly town.

xoxo,
Moon

PS I still love you Baton Rouge, but hire some girl scouts with cameras or out of work mall Santas to take some pictures.

Who’s ready for some premarrital counseling?!

Dear Kellan,

OK, SOMEONE call up Beyonce cause someone put a ring on it! Fess up Kellan, was it AnnaLynn? Was she tired of dodging in and out of that shady no-tell motel in Studio City or did you finally throw the ultimatum down: If she didn’t watch the entire McGee & Me series with you, it was done-zo, am I right?

No? It’s for a new film you’re in? Damn….
xoxo,
Moon

Dear Nikki and Kristen,

WAIT HOLD THE PHONE, someone grab my meds (again) are the fake lesbians back on?!!!!

You, Nikki Reed were quoted in something called Zink, talking about going to a party…
“I went with Kristen [Stewart, her Twilight co-star], who happens to be, like, my best friend now…”

Wait, squeeze me one second. Happens to be your best friend now? Operative word being “NOW.” Did we bury the hatchet ladies? Is this why the Fake Lesbian section in the LTT merch store mysteriously sold out? I gotta say I’m happy for you gals and for the fodder you HOPEFULLY will give us: sharing clothes, fights over ugly Nike’s, hand-in-hand jaunts through Vancouver, shopping trips where Taylor holds you purses while you’re in the dressing room! Or will it be smoothies and working out like you and Elizabeth Reaser in Vancouver during Eclipse filming, now? And this brings up another question, “What about Elizabeth?!” This is a bittersweet happiness. I am glad you two love birds are back together again.

xoxo,
Moon

As you can see there’s been some surprising news in the Twidom. What’s the best? A actual picture from Baton Rouge, Kellan with a ring or the FL’s back together again or whatever they are…

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

71 Commented

Year in review and our 2011 Twilight Resolutions!

Dear LTT-ers,

We started a tradition when we first began this blog in 2008 by making resolutions for the year ahead. We made plans for ourselves and the blogs and have kept tract of our progress. It’s amazing how many we’ve made happen and how many we’ve failed miserably on. So of course it’s New Year’s Eve 2010 and time to revisit our 2010 resolutions and make our resolutions for the next year…

Our 2010 Resolutions…

1. Actually get ON the red carpet at the Eclipse premiere and not be standing across the street trying to figure out if that’s Rob’s hair or Mike Welch on stilts that the girls are screaming for. Verdict = half FAIL!

While we weren’t OFFICIALLY on the red carpet to interview or represent the fans we were VERY close, close enough to tell it was definitely Rob and NOT Mike Welch. We even had a gaggle of LTT-ers there in multiple locations so we had ALL angles covered. Sadly, we did not get to interview anyone to ask what they order at the Olive Garden BUT there’s always next year! 2011!!
Moon/UC: .5 People Who Want Us to Fail: .5

2. Get a picture with Kaleb Nation to commemorate meeting him instead of running into him accidentally while looking for a bathroom and then totally forgetting to get a picture since we were too busy thinking about not peeing our pants. Verdict = FAIL!

So we meet up with Kaleb like 320489324 times this year: DVD release, Eclipse Con, Premiere. but NO pic. We even got pictures with the girls from The Twilight Lexicon and Larry 411 and yet no TwiGuy. FAIL!  Those moments will live on in our hearts forever though.
Moon/UC: .5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 1.5

3. Watch Ashley Greene’s sex tape when she inevitably makes one and live blog it… blow by blow… um, that’s what she said? Verdict = FAIL!

4. Meet Stephenie Meyer and not have her call the police on us Verdict = WIN x a gabillion!!!

We all know how this turned out… I think we can forget the rest and say 2010 was a huge WIN for LTT based on this alone!
Moon/UC: 1.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 2.5

5. Take it up a notch with our video skills & perhaps write a theme song for them. Verdict = WIN!

We did have “In the car with UC” but never did upload “Under the Loquat Tree with Moon” (which does exist… in my yard). We did have videos from our meeting with Stephenie (in our hotel room), from the premiere, getting interviewed on tv, video for VH1 that never aired, and some others…
Moon/UC: 2.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 2.5

tie ball game folks…..

6. Only see New Moon and Eclipse in the theater in numbers below the teens – This goes for Eclipse as well… When the popcorn guy knows you by name it’s time to seek help and a shock collar. Verdict = WIN!

I only saw Eclipse 1 and 3/4ths times in the theater and UC saw it twice! So we WIN!
Moon/UC: 3.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 2.5

Preparing for the fall out

7. Host a peace summit in Copenhagen between big name players in the Robsten vs Nonsten world and decide if we can all finally get along. Maybe if we come to an agreement we can sing we are the Rob together. Verdict = FAIL!

SO fail… we all know how that went down, UC got called a Nonsten devil, I was called everything under the sun, people were sued, people quit being friends, nasty things were said all over the interwebs. And nothing was resolved expect for Robsten vs Nonsten arguably being resposible for taking the fun out of the fandom. World peace may not actually be possible. If they stayed together or they broke up… it would just get uglier. So much so we may need to build a fall out shelter from the war that will ensue between the Krisbian suicide bombers and the Rob fans (they need a better name). We gotta be prepared and think ahead. In fact that’s the new fandom motto and we’re not talking tents and autograph books. We’re talking gas masks and bullet proof vests cause shit will get REAL REAL when that happens.

This resolution was SO fail, in  fact, NO ONE got  a win.
Moon/UC: 3.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 3.5

8. We promise to continue to be controversial. We started writing thus blog because we couldn’t’ believe the lameness of the fandom. We still can’t. So we’ll continue to call it as we see it by KIR, you know: Keeping it Real. Verdict = WIN!

Done and done!! We kept it so real everyone got called names not just us. Whew.
Moon/UC: 4.5 People Who Want Us to Fail: 3.5

9. Meet Big Daddy Lautner. Tell him we love him more than the entire cast combined and would love to have a conversation over a Filet O Fish. Try not to act surprised when he has NO idea who we are. Verdict = FAIL!

WIN WIN WIN! This may have taken us till June to roll out and we may have been hacked by some losers in BFE and it may have it’s moments we want to strangle it and we may spend many Sunday mornings fixing it but it happened and we couldn’t be happier!

So let’s get on to our resolutions for 2011!

HAHAHA I love fan posters!!

1. Breaking Dawn Part 1 (and 2) RED CARPET! – Our next logical step would be to be ON the carpet officially. We need to be close enough to count Mike Welch’s nose hairs, to see if our gaydar is pinging correctly on a few people AND to offer a prayer of protection and success for Kellan. He’s appreciate a laying on of hands in the middle of the carpet. This is one of our last chances to make this happen. Come on cosmic justice of the universe, don’t fail us now!!!

2. Meet Big Daddy – We’re gonna carry this one over from last year because our blogging life really can’t be complete without meeting the man, the mystery, the legend behind Taylor Lautner. We promise to spring from the cannolli for dessert if we get to meet sir!

3. Make another appearance at this year’s Comic Con in San Diego. 2009 Comic Con was a blast: throwing elbows, seeing all the new footage from NEW MOON (wow, that was forever ago). With Breaking Dawn being filmed NOW you know there’s gonna be something good at this summer’s Comic Con and we aim to be there!

Your turn Moon!

4. Since UC got to meet and interview Jackson Rathbone and be bequeathed the most unfortunate name of: Superfan, Moon too must undergo the embarrassment of being called  Twilight Superfan in 2011 by interviewing Kellan Lutz or another 2nd tier cast member.

5. Host another LTT blow out shin dig during the premiere week of Breaking Dawn Part 1! Preferably with karaoke because “Back to December” will NEVER sound as good as it would at an LTT party after drinking Cougarita’s or Mr. Choice’s special concoction called “Bella’s Blood.”

6. Infiltrate the set of Breaking Dawn for some sort of exclusive access. If Summit or the paparazzi or the people of Baton Rouge won’t bring it to us, we’ll just have to go get it ourselves. Good thing our passports are current, just in case we need to be ready to roll with Summit/Stephenie/Bill Condon/Big Daddy/Kellan or whoever invites us for a visit.

THE bed

7. Go to Venice Beach, break into Cathi’s groovy beach pad and steal THE AUDITION TAPE so that we can finally put to rest her claims of their amazing chemistry for what it really is: 2 awkward young adults making out on an old ladies bed while she tapes it.

Ok, so do you think we can do these? Are we gonna full of WIN next December 2011 or are the people who want us to fail going to be rejoicing? Only time will tell.

Happy New Year!!!!
Moon and UC

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

BUSINESS TIME!
Oh- We don’t want to forget to tell you, starting January 3rd the Biggest Loser challenge on the Forum (renamed “Resolutionary Challenge 2011”) is kicking off: Make sure you join everyone if you’re looking for fun, encouragement & healthy living in 2011!!! Resolutionary Challenge 2011

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

33 Commented

From here to Breaking Dawn, the timeline

*Stay tuned for a VERY IMPORTANT note from UC and Moon at the end of this post*

Dear Breaking Dawn (uno and dos),

You are quite a ways off, especially in our ADD, RIGHT NOW, twitter update, I knew it before you did, always connected obsessed world. So what are we do do for the next 2 PLUS years?!!!?!! That’s a lot of time! Houses are built, babies are conceived AND born, people meet and break up. What will happen in the world of Twilight over the next two years?

I’ve come up with a timeline for what I think the next two years in the Twilight fandom will look like…

September 2010 – Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas elope to Las Vegas and make “Ashoe” official

October 2010– Sales on Loquat costumes on regrEtsy go through the roof

November 2010 – Breaking Dawn begins filming in Vancouver and Louisiana. Louisiana considers renaming their sta Twilousiana because of the jump in tourism courtesy of crazy Twihards. They reconsider after the crazy Twihards test their police and emergency services to their limits in an effort to keep the cast somewhat safe.

December 2010 – Moon and UC celebrate 2 years of blogging about Twilight and Robert Pattinson

-100 Monkeys, Sam Brady (typo and it stays!), Bobby Long, Marcus Foster, Kiowa Gordan and his band Touche, Tinsel Korey and Mike Welch on vocals and Sage come together in whatever town Breaking Dawn is filming in for a special Christmas benefit concert. Before the cops bust in and arrest them for noise complaints they all gather on stage and sing “We are the Rob.”

January 2011 – Moon and UC sue 100 Monkeys, Sam Bradley, Bobby Long, Marcus Foster, Kiowa Gordan and his band Touche, Tinsel Korey, Mike Welch and Sage for stealing their hit song “We are the Rob.”

MMMMmmmm doughnuts!!

– Robsten breaks up, on set, over an argument about a flannel shirt and a jelly doughnut
– Robsten reunites 3 days later over a French Cruller in craft services

Follow the cut for the rest of the timeline and to read our VERY IMPORTANT note
Continue…

151 Commented

All the Twilight news that’s fit to print – Unicorns and lots of BooBoo’s

Dear LTT-ers,

There comes a time every few weeks or so that we have to do a news dump because there’s simply too much news and not enough letters in the day. So here’s all the news we think you should know about but couldn’t cover.

Extra, Extra, Read all about it!
Themoonisdown

• Our BFF Ashley Greene gets a Twitter and proceeds to lull us to sleep with tweets of her sleeping habits and stories of buying dog food. There’s something to be said about keeping the mystery, isn’t there? Love you BFF!

• Dude, Xavier did you forget what I told you to say if Jackson invited you to a 100 Monkeys show!? Did he not think you were deaf or sick with food poisoning? In other news, HIGH FIVE for going with Ashley, maybe you’ll be the lucky SOB to finally figure out she’s a hot piece, while the rest of that numbnuts cast wonders why they don’t have a girlfriend, or why theirs smells of grease.

• Both Melissa Rosenberg and Justin Chon dish that Eclipse will be a much “darker” film. No really? This is the book in that saga that contains the story of Jasper’s shady past, killing innumerable people, the turning and training of a newborn vampire army, the rape of Rosalie at the hands of her fiance, and fight training all culminating in arguably the saga’s most satisfying moment of conflict: the battle. So “dark,” you say? NO DUH!

Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

• New Moon Action figures go on sale at Hot Topic. Is it just us or does Jacob look a little “special” in the face?

• Little Jacky is photographed with a boo-boo (not the kid playing Seth) Tuesday. No one knows whether it was his hand, his head or that terrible wig that was injured. I’m hoping he broke his hand after punching out the wig department after he saw his reflection in the mirror. Jackson Rathbone-r: kicking ass and NOT taking names!

• Little BooBoo Stewart gets his first tattoo! Awww, they grow up so fast, don’t they? How friggin cute is this kid?!

Follow the cut for more news, shirtless Kellan and Jackson the Unicorn!
Continue…

Add Comments