Do you see (UC) what I see?

Dear LTTers,

Why yes that is “Bella’s house” in Vancouver, Canada as seen by Google Street view released today for Vancouver. Looks like the google car captured images during New Moon filming!

Peek-a-boo! Knock Knock! Rob are you in there?

Seriously? Zooming around “Bella’s House” is all kinds of awesome and I feel like I’m there, buttttttt it’s a little creepy. Speaking of creepy, no I’m not going to give out the address to this location so you can street view it on Google yourself. That’s a litttttttle too creepy for my liking! This is actually on someone’s property and I’m gonna throw out a HUGE THANK YOU to bikechick for sharing her secret so that I could be a creeper and look in Bella’s windows (I was looking for Jacob, obvvviously I know Robward isn’t there)

Seriously. We posted twice today. WHOA! But hey- nothing like a little spontaneous post to get us excited for- how many days now? FORTY THREE! WHOO HOO!

Also a perfect opportunity to remind you that you have less than 3 hours from the time this is posted to get your entries into us for the “Imma win a Twilight Contest contest” to win AWESOME prizes from Bella BeJeweled. YOU HAVE UNTIL 11:59 PM ET TONIGHT WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 7TH!

Okay… two posts in one day? I’m feeling weird. I’m gonna go drink or something.

LOVES,

UC

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The Internet Has Spoken: Twilight is Lame

Dear people who don’t live in a Twilight bubble (aka normal people, most people in the universe & people I should spend more time with),

Sometimes when I see/hear/think of things in the Twilight world that you are also seeing/hearing/experiencing without being in the Twilight bubble yourself, I get really 2nd-hand embarrassed. Like, it’s one thing for ME to go to see a band play who’s lead singer is the baby mama of the 2nd-cousin of the father of the dude who plays Jacob’s sister Rebecca’s husband and see a crazed fan with a Twilight-themed tattoo and her fake lesbian life partner holding all 4 books plus a print-out of Midnight Sun for the the lead singer to sign, but for “normal” people to see that? Or even KNOW it exists? I apologize on behalf of the fandom.

I recently came across this website that has a ‘guide’ for all things Twilight called, “The Internet has spoken: Twilight is lame.” I read what they posted; I laughed along with them, and then I covered my face in 2nd-hand embarrassment because THEY think WE ALL are crazy for liking Twilight and are ALL crazy fans. And now I’m sure ALL FOUR of their readers probably agree with them. So I’m gonna do what any respectable 2nd-hand embarrassed person would do- share the embarrassment with all of MY readers so that we can, once again, thank the Twilight god (Buttcrack Santa, of course, turned into a god after his ascension into heaven) that we can proudly exclaim about all our Twilight actions: “That’s Normal.” (All our actions except attending that 100Monkey’s show. That was not normal! )

Enjoy today’s Monday Funnies after the jump! Continue…

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This is how you found us Vol. 5

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and LTR-ers,

It’s been a while since we’ve had a “This is how you found us” post. Though I think after this last week, we just may know how a bunch of you found us, and WELCOME! But mostly people’s searches are getting to be a lot more boring, just the same ol Rob, Kristen, Jackson, Taylor and Kristen’s pregnant like a millions times. Come on, show us your creativity! But we’ve managed to pull together another stellar round of crazy searches for June and July!

For the uninitiated, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And thus this reoccurring blog post was born!

So here we go again…

• 

  Kristen i’m pregnant – Seriously, Kristen we don’t believe it. Stop trying to spread this rumor!

• Oil painting in film ‘twilight’ – Dear god please tell me you’re not trying to create a Twilight oil painting… we have enough stuff in the Twilight Museum of crap Art!

• Insane Twilight tattoos – oh you mean the back piece I got inked of the Forks, WA topographical map?

• Taylor Lautner in his underwear – Stop trying to fool us Chris Hanson, we’re on to you and we’ve already surrendered!

• Win a day with Rob Pattinson – This whirlwind day of romance includes lunch at a vending machine, a 1 minute conversation about cheetos, 4 hours reading in silence at a Borders and culminates with him waving as you get into a cab at 6:20PM. ENTER HERE!!Follow the cut for more good times and crazy googles! Continue…

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Everything I needed to know about life I learned from Twilight

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

I’ve been apart of the Twilight fandom and reader of your saga for going on 9months now. Quite a short amount of time when you think about it and especially compared to some folks who have been around since the beginning. But 9months of living, breathing, reading and blogging about anything and everything, Twilight has show me quite a few things about life, stuff I can’t believe I didn’t know before all this and I’m sure you’ll agree…

• If your boyfriend ever breaks up with you, getting lost in the woods is a good way to meet some of the local boys and perhaps Mr. Rebound will carry you home if you act ‘out of it’ enough

• When you really need to know if your 17yr old crush exhibits characteristics of  a vampire, it’s totally ok to wait till you can get to a bookstore to buy a book about Native American Legends instead of googling it immediately

• 

  Fake, sexy vampires. Yes please

  It is perfectly acceptable to expect to find a guy who is gorgeous, smart, rich, charming, has a 6 pack, desires you above anyone else, would die for you and doesn’t’ mind when you’re a whiny little bitch

• If your crush shows you that his skin sparkles like diamonds in the sunlight, stick around! You definitely want to find out if he can uproot trees, hurl logs across fields and breathe you into submission with his ice cold breath

• If a man named Rob Pattinson happens to show up in your life, dominates your thoughts, your time and your sanity, it’s perfectly normal to want to slap that grin off his face and then want to do naughty things to him in a busy intersection

• It’s perfectly normal to expect your vampire boyfriend and your werewolf best friend to fight to the death on your behalf even when you can’t choose between them while leading them both on. It’s called chivalry after all

• To be a true catch all you need is: rock hard abs, family of super hero quality people, immortality, a sister with the ability to see the future, a shiny silver volvo, and a wounded heart

• If you’ve ever thought the idea of doing it with a vampire is sexy and dangerous, it is. You will enjoy the sex. The sex will be more mind blowing than you can imagine. But the pain of a half-vampire child ripping it’s way out of your womb because you chose to have unprotected sex with said handsome vampire? Not worth it

• When you go into labor with your unplanned, supernatural child, having your husband chew through your abdomen to deliver the monster baby is a viable delivery option

• I can write something funny about ANYTHING vampire-related in 30 minutes at 2 in the morning

• Meeting people off the internet with names like Mrs. P_ifurnastee,  Jaspergetsmeexcited and DrCullenatyourService and is a really safe idea!

Wait. You're how old?

• If a man tries to manipulate your emotions, let him. He’s only using his special gift to make you feel better about yourself because your boyfriend is a flawless human specimen, his sister is quite possibly a former supermodel, treacherous rival vampires have made it their lifes mission to kill you and you’re an average human girl who’s clumsy and thinks sweatpants and holey tshirts are acceptable clothing options to take on a trip to Italy

• Spending every evening online tweeting, posting in a forum and blogging about Vampires is good for your social life

So as you can see the keys to living a good life are found in your saga Stephenie! Did you know that? Between you and me I think you may be on to something. Who knows, this whole Twilight could really blow up some day!

Off to find a sparkly perfect boyfriend! Cause that’s totally possible!
Themoonisdown

Do what did you learn about life from Twilight?

Don’t miss out on Letters to Rob today!
Wanna chat more? Or read some new FanFic? Head over to the Forum!

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This is how you found us? Vol. 4

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR’ers and googlers-

My how time flies! It’s already June and we missed one of our favorite reoccuring posts: “This is how you found us?!” in May. For those of us just joining in on the fun, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And May did NOT dissappoint, seriously these are some of the best we’ve seen. So without further adieu… This Is How You Found Us??!!

Where robert pattinson hangs out – You want to know my address? Or the 24hr taco joint down the street from his hotel?

Twlight edward eyes pillow case – It’s creepy trust me, but also totally awesome to scare your visiting co-blogger with when they wake up!

The Tuck Pattinson – is this Rob’s new nickname? Forget spunk ransom, it’s now officially Robert “The Tuck” Pattinson

Abstinence – Well, you’ve come to the right place… we’re totally saving ourselves for our wedding night with Robert Pattinson… and Jackson Rathbone… and Kellan Lutz… aaaannnddd… ok well maybe abstinence isn’t the term…

Buy Pattinsons wardrobe – this will cost you all of 4.75, to get his look all you need is whatever you wore in 9th grade and then access to either a Goodwill thrift store or movie Wardrobe dept. for a couple extra holey tshirts every 6 months. (This might be in my favorite top 5 things anyone’s every googled and found us! What else can you say about the genius of this?)

Robert Pattinson birthday gift from Kellan – I’m guessing either a personalized copy of The Purpose Driven Life signed by Rick Warren, or an ex-small purple wifebeater

Wig for new moon – NOT THIS ONE! If this is your New Moon Hair Dept, we are NOT happy. FYI

What is robert pattinson doing for his birthday – Well besides us, maybe about 29 shots of Jameson, smoke a whole pack and then hide in his room from you freaks.

www.jet-porno.ru – is this some kinky mile-high club shiz?? (check it at your own risk i have NO idea what that is)

funny lesbian birthday wishes – I’m not sure but maybe we can ask KStew and NReed for some ideas? Unless they’re not talking to each other now since that whole messy faux break up we’ve created in our minds happened.

Buttcrack school – Dude, Buttcrack Santa is teaching? Where do I sign up? Prof. Santa!

Follow the cut for more hilarious, scary and just plain weird googles! Trust me it just keeps getting better!
Continue…

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