Young love is Taylor-made

Dear Taylors,

Awwww, ain’t young love grand?! It’s not even spring and we get to enjoy a little bit of love blossoming in the fall as we watch you two meet up all over the country. I’m going to write each of you a letter and you can figure out which one is to who…

XO,
Moon

PS Can we come up with a better couple name that Tay-tay or Taylor squared for you guys? Those just don’t have the right ring to them

Dear Taylor,

Don’t screw this up!!! If it’s true and you are playing the hanky panky at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel with Taylor than you’re a lucky SOB cause this girl is 19, you are 17 and in boy/girls maturity levels that’s a lot. And besides that, she’s a young musician who not only plays an instrument but also writes her own music! This girls got it going on, and has the songs to prove it. Which you can learn a lot from, by the way! If we know anything about Taylor we know she likes Romeo and Juliet, love stories, flowers, screen doors slamming, Tim McGraw, castles, tear drops, glitter,  that stupid old pick up truck, burning shit, white horses, hates cheer captains and loves being fearless. Oh and she hates the JoBros. But who doesn’t?

So seriously don’t screw this up cause you KNOW Taylor will turn your relationship in her next number one album if you break her heart! And don’t think we won’t know who’s she’s referring to when she sings about “that stupid dog.”  I will also warn you know that Big Daddy told me he’s getting ready to sit you down and have “the talk” with you! So if Big Daddy asks to take you to McDee’s for some “one-on-one time” he’s not refering to private time with a certain fried fish sammy, he’s talking about emabarassing birds and the bees, this is where babies come from, true love waits, keep it in your pants shiz! Prepare yourself! And tape it, so we can listen later cause it will be epically 2nd hand embarrassing! Oh and if Kanye gets any funny ideas at this years Grammy’s you better come prepared to throw down. I’m talking “don’t get me upset” Jacob style throw down.

Ok now go send this girls some flowers and do a back flip for her while you recite a poem you wrote called “Taylor + Taylor, we can make it not a failure” So, clearly you’ll help you with your writing skills (and mine).

It’s a love story Taylor, just say yes!
Moon

PS If something happens and you have to break up with her don’t do it via phone like that loser Jonas Brother did. You’re a classy fellow have the balls and do that ish in person!

Follow the cut to see my letter to the other Taylor! And some other goodies…
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Speculation Thursday – Moon makes the case for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: NOT together!

We’re actors

Dear Kristen and Rob-

Last week my pal UC put on a brave face, sucked up her pride and posted the Speculation Thursday (though it was on Wednesday) post that she thought you may be together. As much as it pained both of us to see that in writing, we had to present the Pro Robsten side of the argument. But never fear, I am here with this week’s Speculation Thursday (on Thursday!) where I’m going to present the Non Robsten side! Cause I look at you two and I’m like, they CANNOT be together, the stoner and the nerd? No way.

If you’ll indulge me I’d like to treat this as a trial, and court is now in session*! The honorable Stephenie Meyer proceeding. Today we will be hearing the case of:

Robsten vs NonRobsten, in the court of public opinion

Opening statement:
Much has been said and speculated about you two over the last few weeks and now having some time to gather evidence and look at the facts I think we can be certain about a few things: Kristen and Oregano are not together and Kristen and Rob are in fact, NOT together. Snogged and hooked up? Sure! But together? No! I ask that the jury keep an open mind as we speculate our way through another Thursday.

Enter into the court room the Evidence…

01. The Charlie Hotel / The Morning After – UC cited this story and these pictures as her main turning point. But I have a different take on this much bally-hooed “secret goodbye photos” and “secret rendezvous hotel bungalows” nonsense… I did some research too on The Charlie and there are multiple bungalows in which bungalows also have multiple rooms! Amazing how this works, huh? It’s not uncommon for stars to get ready for awards shows in hotel rooms, Summit’s footing the bill, why not? And you’ve got the room paid for for the night, might as well come back and party after the show, right? I know where you’re going to go with this: “but Moon they were in the SAME bungalow! Ron, the underpaid dude at the front desk, told the shady paparazzo from X17 who palmed him a 50 it was true.” Riiiight. And, if I even believe that they were in the same bungalow, my research tells me that again, SURPRISE, there are bungalows with more than one room in them. I’ve stayed in rooms with guy friends, it’s totally possible. And who knows maybe she was wasted drunk from the dinner beforehand when they decided to go back and party? Maybe they smoked a bol and she passed out on that cute striped chair from the pictures of The Charlie. And then the next day her Mom came to pick up her hung over self and hug Rob for being such a good guy and looking out for poor little Kristen. And no kiss was ever photographed.

Follow the cut to hear the rest of the case!!! (Seriously do it!)
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