Renesmee: It’s happening whether we want it to or not

Dear Renesmee,

I feel like here on LTT we haven’t been fair to you. The only time we talk about you is when we’re posting the most creep-tastic images we’ve gathered of you and Jacob from across the web like this old favorite:

or this new epic find:

And what can we do BUT make fun of or be creeped out by the whole Jacob/Nessie story line after seeing these pictures? Nothing. And so we haven’t. For a long time (for all of time, actually).

But maybe we’re not being fair. Maybe we just have the inability to view your relationship like it should be viewed as this innocent big-brother-little-sister thing like shown here in this (fan made, I think?) picture:

because we’re old cynical women– kinda annoyed that you came into the picture just when it was getting steamy between your mom & your dad– but also because in real life the grown(growing)-man-little-girl relationship isn’t usually a positive one…. but what IS real life about Twilight? It’s a story about VAMPIRES and WOLVES and a Police Chief Grandpa who doesn’t question his daughter disappearing and reappearing less than 9 months later with a baby growing years-worth in mere days. Why do we judge YOUR character in real life terms when we don’t bat an eye at townspeople not questioning how a 20-something couple are raising 6 model-like teenagers?

I don’t know. But Renesmee seems to be happening whether we want it/her/you to or not. Evidenced by a sit down Moon got to partake in during Comic Con week with some other fan sites. And MacKenzie Foy (you, IN REAL LIFE!) is kinda adorable:

Peekaboo Moon in the back!

I guess we’ll try to deal. I said try. (And we’re pretty horrible at trying, fyi)

Love,
UC & Moon

What do you think? Concerned about how creeped out we’ve made you over the years over the Renesmee story-line? Wondering if Chris Hansen might be in your theater the first time you see Breaking Dawn Part 2?

Wanna hear what MacKenzie had to say? Wondering how many teeth she lost and which female Twilight star DEFINITELY had to contribute to her “Swear jar” (Easy guess) Full interview with MacKenzie after the jump!

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14 Commented

Kellan visits the Holy Land

"wild child" visits Israel

Dear Kellan-

Does Anna Lynn McCord understand the irony between calling you a “wild child” and saying you’re on a trip to Israel in the same interview? Because I do, and I love it. I really really reeeeeeallly hope some day I can confirm all these crazies ideas I have about you being some wild and crazy party kid but down home good ol Christian boy who goes on mission trips, loves his momma and does mammogram videos with her. Because shiz like this only makes me wish for it harder.

Of the few news items I read about twi people today, this interview were AnnaLynn mentions you going to Israel was the only one that made me laugh. You, on a tour of Israel, or as my grandparents like to call it: The Holy Land! All I can picture is you getting baptized in the Jordan river by Jackson Rathbone, then taking a float in the Dead Sea in your Calvin manties, after a drunken night of trying to turn water into wine you run to the beach telling your tour group you’re going to show that Peter dummy how that whole ‘walking on water’ thing works. Spoiler alert: you make more splashing sounds then a drowning victim.

So really the only answer as to why you could be in Israel is because you must be on a goodwill tour of the middle east because I can’t think about you on a tour of the Holy Land without laughing really hard. It’s good though since you’re now into giving back and charity and such because if anyone can bring peace to the middle east, it’s you with some Calvin Kleins under your caftan.

Kellan is my Shepherd, I shall not want,
Themoonisdown

So I guess the VMA’s happened last night. But if the trinity wasn’t there to make it awkward or present a clip from their home videos from their summer vacay them I’m not interested. Anything I missed? But really, why is Kellan in Israel? Ideas?

Thanks EclipseMovie.org via GossipCop

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56 Commented

It’s THIS big? Handtalkers interview Stephenie Meyer!

Dear LTT-ers and Stephenie super fans,

It’s Friday again so time to roll out some more of our interview with Stephenie Meyer. We’ve told you all about “Leghitch, hunt, imprint” and we’ve even showed you how well Stephenie can perform the leg hitch and how we drooled over Xavier together. Now it’s time to hit up the never ending fountain of awesome that is the pictures from the interview. Who knew 4 hours worth of pictures of a couple people around a table could be so interesting?

Roll that beautiful bean footage…

Moon: So Stephenie, I was wondering how big the fish Charlie catches on a Saturday out with Harry Clearwater… are they this big? What about Robert Pattinson’s feet? They’re pretty large right? Tell us more about what size he’s working with…
UC: That’s why he’s always tripping, right? Size issues… down there?

Stephenie: Guys, it’s all pretty normal. Like the size of my hand here… not that big of a deal.

Twilight Series Theories: But if you stretch it out would it be the size of the bacon on my plate or the piece of melon?

Twilight Series Theories: Ok, ok… what if you smooshed it?

Twilight Source: Stephenie, what about if you REALLY get in there and jiggled it around, really shook it, would it still be that size?

Twifans: We’ve taken the liberty of drawing up a few options of what we think if could be last night in our hotel room. You don’t have to answer but if it’s smaller, cough twice and if it’s bigger, wink your left eye

Twifans: Wait, was that two winks or one?

Meghan: Guys, trust me she’s not lying I’ve seen her sketches in her notebook. It’s really this big.

Twilight Source: So we’re talking about a foot? Or two glasses of Butter Beer stacked on end? Or maybe it’s the same length as Harry’s wand?

Stephenie: Really?! I choose you all to interview me instead of major news outlets and this is what you ask about?

Moon: Alright. Point taken. So, Stephenie… we figured out the length, but what about the weight… could I hold it in this hand without assistance?
Stephenie: Oh my god! You guys… trust me. *coughs twice*

COME ON who doesn’t love a size joke?!

Happy Friday!
Themoonisdown

What were we talking about? And how big IS it? If you could ask Stephenie anything NOT Twilight related what would it be?

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Legal Stuff:
All photographs are owned by Stephenie Meyer and there may be no copying or other exploitation of such photographs without the express prior written permission of Stephenie Meyer, c/o Jodi Reamer jreamer@writershouse.com
All Photos: Julie Adamson

64 Commented

Jackson is all of a sudden a side mouth talker? What’s up with that?

Dear Jackson,

Since when did you start talking out of the side of your mouth? I started noticing it when you were doing press for Eclipse and I couldn’t help but wonder wtf was up. When and why did you start talking like a stroke victim? Since I didn’t remember this from previous interviews I thought it must have been a one off incident. Then I saw Eclipse and noticed Jasper was doing it too! I get that he’s from Texas and all and supposed to be a southern gentlemen with a slow drawl but you’re NOT Jasper, sure you’re family may live in Texas now but you were born in Indonesia and went to school in Michigan. That’s not exactly the land of mint juleps and hot summer days with your ya-ya’s and cousins down at the “crick.” So I can only think that something’s wrong.

When did this start? Because I’m concerned for your health I took a look back through the annals (heh) of time to see if this is some sort of slow moving medical issue you should have checked out or just some sort of “method” character trait you’re adapting.

First up we have crazy Jackson as a plucky teen journalist on Disney 411 visiting Hilary Duff backstage at her concert. You really should list Hilary as a musical influence for the monkeys. How else do you explain the sound? So nothing here except maybe an intense addiction to speed or the product of like 5 red bulls from Hilary Duff’s craft service table.

Twilight

Next we have Twilight red carpet event… besides being the most bored interviewer ever she asks some dumb-awesome questions. Slow dancing with a vampire? And which actress do you want to suck?! WOAH there missy slow your roll this is a family show. Ask if again! Ask it again! But alas no paralysis or side talking here, just the ol crooked smile.

(ironic that Bryce Dallas Howard was mentioned?)

New Moon

Not even 8 months ago and there was no side mouth talking just creepy catfish facial hair. Please don’t watch the whole video if you’re scared. Just love the Twicon backdrop and how Jackson may have called Kristen “Kristina” at 128, he just may have been that confused fan at the Eclipse premiere.

And now we have one of the most recent things you’ve done. And the weird side talking mouth comes out. Hey cowboy, you’re not foolin’ anyone!

Of course we have our very own SUPER FAN interviewing you as you talk solely out of the left side of your mouth while giving ef me eyes… no small feat.

So obviously this isn’t some speech characteristic you’ve had forever and ever it’s new and a little bit put on, right? Or is it… Did you have some sort of mini stroke or is that paralysis on one side of your face from a rancid Botox injection you got at a 100 Monkeys/Botox/Pampered Chef private party in a cougar Milf’s house? Are you ok? Do I need to call a loved one or give you 2 aspirin while we wait for the ambulance?

Just let us know, otherwise knock it off.
Themoonisdown

Seriously, am I just imaging this or did anyone else notice this weird side mouth accent come out of no where during the last month or so? Oh and crazy Jackson fans save your breath I know he’s not paralyzed and his family is from Texas. Thanks.

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98 Commented

Remember when we met Stephenie Meyer?!

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Remember that time you invited us and some other folks to come meet you, hang out for 4 hours, eat bacon, and talk about Twilight? Yea, well we were beginning to think it was all a crazy dream we had after eating some bad mushroom ravioli from the Olive Garden (Big Daddy’s birthday celebration!), kinda like when you had the dream about Bella and Edward in the meadow that spawned Twilight. Only as it turns out after opening our inbox and finding the following pictures it really DID happen after all!

Looking back at these pictures we can finally remembered what really happened…

Witness our last moment of dignity before I would tard/Brenden Fraser clap and UC would talk about her life being complete after a Wolfpack member mentioned “jorts” in an interview. Because, well our life would be complete if that happened. Oh and eating at the Olive Garden with Big Daddy. This isn’t too much to ask, is it?

Series Theories: Letters to what? Who let those girls in?
Twifans: We should definitely call security…

What Jodie, you’re a closet Gil Birmingham fan too? You’re SO right, Gil circa the Diana Ross video could definitely give Taylor Lautner a run for his money!

Lipgloss check… yup, still on.

UC: What do you think she’s thinking here?
Moon: She’s totes thinking if she cuts this interview 15 minutes early she still has time to run to the Water for Elephants set and beat traffic, dontcha think?
UC: Wait, I think she heard us…
Moon: but can we talk about how much the waiter looks like Mr. Molina? I bet the omlette bar has “the golden onion” as an ingredient!
UC: No, seriously she heard us. She just kicked me under the table with her cowboy boot.
Moon: that’s one long leg…

Caught in the act! Too busy breaking the Stephenie Meyer interview down Vanity Fair style WHILE in the interview to listen to whatever mind blowing Twilosophical thing you’re explaining about Edward at this exact moment.

Follow the cut to see the most epicness of all time. Trust me.
Continue…

96 Commented