Jessica Stanley: Get the HALE out of Forks
I sat down to write a letter to some of the “lost” characters of Twilight- you know.. the ones that got attention in the books & either DON’T exist in the movies or exist very limitedly. But then I realized it’s been so long since I’ve read the books that that would require more research than I’m able to give it on a Sunday evening. But while I was searching for ideas, I discovered that out of the 3,726 words we have “tagged” in our posts over the past 2+ years, Jessica Stanley has been tagged exactly SIX times. SIX! That’s it!! The girl playing her almost won an Oscar! Her character is HILARIOUS in the movies & pretty prevalent in the books! This is a major LTT oversight! Thankfully, my long-lost friend who I reconnected with through LTT, The Plane Friend, wrote Jessica a letter awhile ago. Today, Jessica gets her SEVENTH tag! (and you know how we love SEVEN around here!)
Smile- you're gonna almost win an Oscar someday!
Dear Jessica,
You are one of the oddest Twilight characters for me. I don’t really like you, but I feel like you’re a necessary part of the story, both as an essential part of helping the plot along and as a needed high school stereotype. However, on successive re-readings, I have started to feel a little bit of pity for you, which brings me to a piece of advice: Girl, you need to get the heck out of Forks.
Why?
Well, first off, since your town is so small, it’s hard to get away from people. You spent your last year-and-a-half in high school constantly in Bella’s shadow. While I readily admit that I have much more of an affinity for Bella than lots of readers, I do get your exasperation when she moved to Forks and everyone went crazy over her. You’d think she’d have to do something to earn all the admiration she got. Very rarely have I seen quiet, shy girls—even pretty ones—get that popular. Usually, in high school, it’s the girls who are nasty, prey on other girls’ insecurities, and stroke the egos of cute-but-very-unworthy boys (just in case you didn’t catch it, that would be Lauren and you).
We promise. Life gets better outside of Forks
Secondly, you seem to be having the same problem my friends and I did in high school: not enough dateable boys to go around. Of course, you have an Edward Cullen, Emmet Cullen, and Jasper Hale (and we didn’t), but as they’re all taken, the rest of you seem to be stuck with Mike, Tyler, some guys named Connor and Lee we barely hear about, so we can probably assume are not realistic options, and Eric—who, even when he was an option…well, wasn’t.
I totally get that despite his stand-offish-ness, you had a rough time getting over your hang-up on Edward. He is Edward. However, he doesn’t think much of you. How do I know? Well, I can attest to that as one of those who wasted time trudging through TERRIBLE drivel that we hope NEVER, EVER gets finished (Ahem, Midnight Sun) and was privy to some of his thoughts. He didn’t waste many on you. It’s good you refocused elsewhere.
Mike seems like the kind of guy who is a perfect high school boyfriend—in other words, a reality check. You pursue him when he’s obviously not that into you. You manage to snag him, but there’s likely that insecurity that he’s still hung up on Bella floating around in your mind (and trust us, honey, he was). The problem? Once he broke up with you, you should have cut your losses and MOVED ON, not started dating him again after he found out that Bella was getting married! You need to go to college, girl, and find a guy who isn’t secretly hankering after your frenemy. I might not like you that much, but no one deserves to be second runner up with her own boyfriend.
But seriously.. it would help if you'd stop being such a Biatch
I do worry about what you would do in college, though. You seem like the type who might spend way too much time at parties, hook up with the wrong boys, and very likely not learn much about becoming a responsible adult. (Behavior I am sure your creator would join me in shaking our heads at).
So if you do jump off the party deep end in California, you might want to keep in email contact with Bella. She might not tell you too many details about her married life (rumor has it there’s a five-year-old who looks a lot like her and Edward running around Forks, but he’s very close-lipped about it [a niece?] and she has only been seen around town through very darkly tinted car windows lately). If she does fill you in on the details of what some of us call the “fade-to-black” part of her honeymoon, however, forward that email over to LTT. We’re all dying to read it.
With love,
The Plane Friend
What do you think about Jessica? Is she the perfect example of a typical highschooler? Was she too hard on Bella? But Seriously- that always bugged me- what WAS it about Bella that all the guys gravitated toward?!
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Tags: , Breaking Dawn, fan letter, Jessica Stanley, Twilight
