Friday Funnies

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Dear Twilight,

I was doing a little new years cleaning in our email inbox, hoping there was something interesting to share and, well, there was! In fact a few things. I never know how to categorize the random things that we receive that deserve to be shared but aren’t really “enough” to demand an entire blog post. But today it came to me: Friday Funnies. Yep, it’s JUST like Monday Fridays, except on Friday. Brilliant, right?

First up, a note (one of many we received this holiday season!) for Stephenie Meyer. Important to note, it’s from a girl:

Its the most buitful time of the year

Lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer

I should be playing in the winter snow

But I’mma be under the mistletoe

-Justin Bieber

Someone wants to be a fake lesbian with Stephenie (someone ELSE, I mean)

Sister Penguin shared this hilarious Facebook mocking with us:

Remember when THIS was a thing:

Dear Stephenie,
I’ve totally forgotten about Midnight Sun. You could release it today and I wouldn’t care. Probably wouldn’t read it anyway. So over it. I never google it anymore to see if it’s been released and somehow I missed it. I’ve given up. My google finally broke anyway. So now would be the perfect time for it not to be written.

Sincerely,
Not going to read it so please don’t bother

P.S. Please don’t be offended. It just wasn’t meant to be.

“Twilight Artist” painted the stuff in the Cullen House

And sadly (for us. happy for him) it’s not 2nd-hand embarrassing. My real life artist friend sent me something that the “Twilight” artist, Gregory King, emailed:

I have had an unusual thing come my way recently that I’m excited to share with you. Many of you may know already, but several paintings of mine were recently rented by the company behind “Twilight”, the crazy worldwide hit film saga, to be used as set decoration in their “Cullen House” location (where the vampire family lives). Yep, pretty wild. Set decorator David Schlesinger contacted me in late 2010 about it, and I worked with him to select nine pieces in total, which were hung throughout the house.

And lastly, because my Christmas Tree is still up (looking sad & dry) and I just can’t say good-bye to the Holidays yet, Reasons Edward Cullen is like Santa

This is an OLDIE (From 2009) but goodie that was sent to us this Holiday season by LTT friend Bethany. Don’t miss the entire thing, but here are my favorite reasons why Edward Cullen is like Santa Claus:

4.) They both like deer.

11.) Or any one of the eleventy thousand Twilight Moms in North America, any number of whom, you just know, have Edward stockings hung by the chimney with care, right next to the cookies for Santa, who, did I mention? Sneaks into houses at night.

And I know I KNOW! There’s going to be a Twilight  MUSICAL.  Do you know how badly I wish I wasn’t going to be in Orlando (I could stop right there..) and missing the showing? We are still working on the perfect way to share our feelings about this new musical

Happy Funny Friday!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What are you doing New Years Eve this weekend? (Speaking of NYE- are you ‘shipping Zooey & “Joe” as much as I am?)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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The LTT Mailbag – A Grandma leaves me speechless

MAIL CALL!!

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s time to crack open the mailbag and see what goodies the crazies have sent us. Since we don’t have Intern Rob like LTR does to answer emails over there I guess I’ll be forced to. Instead of posting a letter from our super funny readers I’ve broken into our special “crazies” folder to bring you a little chuckle this Monday (ugh) morning…

I get that Bella is in love with Edward but still has feelings for Jacob.  Jacob is suspicious of Edward’s intentions.  Do you think Edward is hiding something more from Bella and Jacob?  I think Edward might not be everything that he says he is.
Love,
Suspicious

Edward on the weekends

Dear Suspicious,
If be not everything he says he is you mean he’s a tranny you would be right. Edward has been living half his life as a woman and performs at the he drag show nights at the Tool Shack in Port Angeles. And you know how he’s always skipping school any time it’s “sunny?” It’s not actually because he glitters, it was because he was up late watching the RuPaul’s Drag Race marathon on Oxygen while sketching new costume ideas with Alice. AAANNNDDD you know that whole glittering business? Well that’s no lie, Edward really does sparkle in the sun but it’s because he’s wearing Body Shimmer from Sephora not because of some vampiric side effects.

SO you were right, Edward really isn’t everything he says he is.
XO,
Moon

I think the 5^th book should be called “The Bleeding Rose, The final Chapter of Twilight”
From – A Reader

Dear A Reader,
I think the 5th book should be called “Midnight Sun.” Get in line.
XO,
Moon

There needs to be more action that will make you jump out of your seat, more drama, adventure, romance, more sexy characters. Does anyone know when Stephanie will be signing books and where to meet her?
Billy

Dear Billy,
Maybe you and A Reader can tell Stephenie this at her book signing for: MIDNIGHT SUN. Whenever that will be. Keep your eyes on the prize people!
XO,
Moon

Ain't no thang just reading LTT/LTR/Robsessed/Twifans/BreakingDawnmovie.org/AARP benefits site

Subject: A Grandma’s Desire
Just like all of the fans of the twilight cast My desire is to truly be able to contact them to let them know how we feel about our favorite actor or actress. And to thank Stephenie  Meyer,  for taking the time to write the novel  that sparked life into all our lives. Both women and men. I  happen  to be Team Edward. My desire is to see him in person. I’ve  been  tempted to catch the plane, come out there and share the ground  with my homeless  friend  just for the opportunity to see him, walk the runway or visit on the outside of a site  where he is working. Hoping to catch  sight of him. Sometimes the urge is so great  I’ve called  my  friend to tell  her im  on my way. I don’t  think  I would enjoy sleeping outside in the elements But  if  I knew  that I could see him , I would take the chance. I have little hope now that my friend have lost the car she was sleeping in. I was  counting on furnishing the gas and she would at least drive me around. I watched when fans put up  their tents and envied them, wishing I was there. My children and grandchildren  are embrassed   when  I  talk about Edward and my desire to see him in person. To  hear his voice, see his gorgeous hair. But I would be satisfied just to get a e-mail from him. I tried  to get to Chicago, when he was there its closer to my home. But I got sick. He was on the Oprah show. I sent him a birthday card  to the  show . Hope he got it. hope he e-mail me back, I will be waiting.
All my love,
TwilightGrandma

She's got a used tissue in here for you

Dear Twilight Grandma,
………………………………………………………..

Sorry but my mind is blown. You’ve seriously considered shacking up with your homeless friend in a CAR to stalk Rob? I’m gonna have to go ahead and say THIS is NOT NORMAL. We’ve done and said some weird stuff in our time but this ranks up there. I totally understand the allure of Edward or Rob or whoever you think he is but you’re a grandma. You should be watching reruns of Murder She Wrote, knitting weird sweaters and eating hard candies covered in pocket and tissue lint, not fantasizing about giving your homeless friend gas money in exchange for tracking down “Edward.”
WOW,
Moon

Yes, friends these are REAL emails we’ve received! We couldn’t be more happy and scared each time we log in to our emails. Feeling frisky and want to write us a letter? Have a question? Have an observation? Rereading the Saga? Want to profess your love for Stephenie/Rob/Summit Entertainment? WRITE US!

Now don’t have a case of the Mondays,
Themoonisdown

I almost gave Edward a drag name but then I thought I’d let you guys create it… So have at it in the comments!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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This is how you found us Vol. 5

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and LTR-ers,

It’s been a while since we’ve had a “This is how you found us” post. Though I think after this last week, we just may know how a bunch of you found us, and WELCOME! But mostly people’s searches are getting to be a lot more boring, just the same ol Rob, Kristen, Jackson, Taylor and Kristen’s pregnant like a millions times. Come on, show us your creativity! But we’ve managed to pull together another stellar round of crazy searches for June and July!

For the uninitiated, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And thus this reoccurring blog post was born!

So here we go again…

• 

  Kristen i’m pregnant – Seriously, Kristen we don’t believe it. Stop trying to spread this rumor!

• Oil painting in film ‘twilight’ – Dear god please tell me you’re not trying to create a Twilight oil painting… we have enough stuff in the Twilight Museum of crap Art!

• Insane Twilight tattoos – oh you mean the back piece I got inked of the Forks, WA topographical map?

• Taylor Lautner in his underwear – Stop trying to fool us Chris Hanson, we’re on to you and we’ve already surrendered!

• Win a day with Rob Pattinson – This whirlwind day of romance includes lunch at a vending machine, a 1 minute conversation about cheetos, 4 hours reading in silence at a Borders and culminates with him waving as you get into a cab at 6:20PM. ENTER HERE!!Follow the cut for more good times and crazy googles! Continue…

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