Introducing the New Holy Trinity! Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 Premiere

Dear Old Holy Trinity-

Move over Taylor and Kristen, there’s a new trinity in town… aka these are the videos UC chose to edit first.

Rob, Mike Welch (ROOOBBB!!) and Melissa Rosenberg. Yup, UC must have a thing for Mike Welch and Melly Rosenberg because she totally overlooked people like Jackson Rathbone and Kellan Lutz for… MIKE.WELCH. Yea, I don’t know either y’all but considering last year’s Mike Welch moment I’m surprised he even gave us a second chance much less played along with our dumb game. Whatta sport that guy!

Mike Welch. Yea, we totally asked him to act the fool and he was more than willing. And yes, this Arizona girl is likin’ da rain.
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And then Melissa Rosenberg became just like our favorite step-aunt in this video.
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And well there’s really no need for introduction to this ROBERT PATTINSON video because there are no words necessary because as you all know, this has never happened before. Special hugs to Matt and Ryan for hooking us up. WAAAAY up.

We’re sorry Taylor and Kristen but I’m sure you understand… you never would have delivered famous Twilight movie lines in Mike Welch’s voice or introduced us to your husband or told us you had to pee. So as you can see it had to be done. You’ll understand someday, when you’re older.

Who else has moved up on our list of favorites? Who will be the new Big Daddy (we miss you!)? Who will be the next Buttcrack Santa? Only time and Goldfish Cracker-fueled midnight editing sessions will tell.

Moon and UC

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Nothing to look forward to…..

Forgot to preface this with a note: We probably have one more week of Stephenie Interview recaps, but didn’t get it done in time for today. Forgive us, and enjoy this letter!

Dear Twilight,

Remember when you were in school & worked & worked & worked your ass off and somehow got through finals and then at the end of the semester, usually right before a major holiday or a fabulous summer vacation with your friends, you crashed? And got strep throat/ear infection/threw up for 2 weeks straight (but hey! You fit into that new bikini) ? Was that just me? Well, that happened to me all the time at the end of a school semester…. and I feel like that’s where my life is right now. After Moon & I made our “announcement” that we’re blogging when we want instead of when you want (daily) I crashed. It was like all the stress & busyness of managing work/husband/friends/sisters/blogging/Robsessing for 1 year and 8 + months caught up to me, and I coudln’t keep my eyes opened. Remember when I talked about that task in my Outlook task manager that was 32 weeks overdue? Well, it was now 76 weeks overdue and…. dun dun dunnnn I completed it! I turned on the TV and actually paid attention to what was happening. I read! A book. NOT TWILIGHT. I went out on a worknight. I got to bed before the rooster crowed. It was magical. And exhausting. Doing nothing is just really boring. And makes me tired.

On Monday I was telling Moon how I felt a little “Blah.” I explained how tired I am and how I have nothing to look forward to- we have no trips planned. The summer is almost over. I’m completely moved into our Philly loft minus the 3 boxes that I don’t feel like unpacking & I swear to you will still be there a year from now. A week ago nothing was different- I just had LTT & LTR to worry about every second and so it kept me from thinking about how I really should unpack that box or how depressing it is that there was nothing planned to get me away from “real life” for even a long weekend. Now…. I have time to think about how bored I am. And besides an embarrassing show to a Emmy after party in what might as well have been sweats & a holey tshirt, Rob & the rest of the Twi cast has been just as boring as I’ve been. Moon knew just what I needed though:

Moon: its the lack of fierce kbitch in your life. i know. it’s alright you can say it to me
UC: you’re right.  so right
Moon: you need a “bitch brow” to make your day better
UC: what’s that?
Moon: that’s what they call kstews look she gives- the bitch brow or something. or bitch face
UC: omg yes The Bitch Face. All I need is to go look at the monday bitch face & all my woes will be cheered
Moon: yes, reread over the krisbian oath & then you’re case of the mondays will be cured

So then I put my thinking cap on to try to come up with something to look forward to over the next few months- and I mean Twi-related stuff (But if you’re wondering my personal list looks like this: buy new underpants, go see that drew barrymore & justin long movie, @janetrigs birthday celebration in philly, christmas, my 28th birthday in June where I’ll be obliterated drunk b/c 28 sucks, having kids in 5 years, kids going to college and retirement) And this is the list I came up with:

Twilight things to look forward to

• Learning which of the Pageant moms who email us on a weekly basis insisting their child is the perfect Renesmee wins out and their toddler is ruined forever as the child star of a major motion picture and in the future gets into the kind of trouble that would make even Paris & Lindsey blush.

• Seeing Taylor Lautner on the big screen as one year older that way when I accidentally think he looks good in a scene or two I feel less creepy

• Finding out what color airbrush paint the cosmetic team uses on Rob’s abs this year and how they plan to make sure it doesn’t come off in the “Isle Esme” water when Edward goes skinny-dipping

• Watching Bella consume dozens of eggs. Do you think it’ll look like Gaston in Beauty & the Beast? That’s how I picture it in my head…

• Learning how many more marshmallow’s Mike Welch can fit in his mouth this time around since he’s confirmed for Breaking Dawn Part 1

• Slow mo-ing one of Leah’s many transformations into a wolf, hoping to catch a little boob action- what? she’s hot!

• Rockin’ my new pirate patch I picked up just for the Isle Esme scenes- so I can block out one person & keep my focus on the other

What am I missing!? What else can I start to look forward to!?

440 days,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Caught in the act, the real Twilight stars stealing from the set!

Dear In Style Magazine,

I just happened to be reading a little something in your magazine  In Style about the Twilight cast and if you had to chance to gank something from the set what would it be…

Robert Pattinson – “I keep everything from the set. I’ve stolen all of Edward’s clothes.”

Elizabeth Reaser – “My original Esme bracelet. I’ve seen reproductions of it in stores, but I want to keep the one that I wear once we finish [filming]. It’s mine!”

Taylor Lautner – “All my character wears is jean shorts, so I’ll have to go with those. That’s my only option!”

Julia Jones – “Leah’s cut-offs!”

Kellan Lutz – “Emmett’s Jeep! I’ve wanted it since we shot the first movie. I keep saying that, but nothing’s happened. I’m still waiting!”

By our powers combined he is Captain Compassion!

Peter Facinelli – “Carlisle’s ring! It has the Cullen crest, the symbol of the whole family, on it. I’d like to take it home and keep it in a drawer somewhere. Once, I couldn’t get it off my finger, so it did go home with me.”

Tinsel Korey – “My relationship with everybody from set. We get along like a real family. Our relationship is special.”

Xavier Samuel – “Vampires dress really well, so it would have to be Riley’s jacket. When you run it’s a bit flamboyant, but it looks good. I recommend running in those jackets.”

Alex Meraz – “The shorts are all I’ve got! We keep using the same shorts but I keep getting bigger for each film, so the shorts keep getting tighter. By the end of the series, they’re going to be torn. Hey, sex sells and I’m glad to sell it!”

Sure, the main cast is important, we all know Rob is clepto or just super cheap and hates shopping, and of course the wolves want their jorts, who doesn’t?  And someone had to give the cheesy answer about friends (Tinsel!) but what about the real people in these movies! What about the people that REALLY matter in the Twilight world, what would THEY keep from the set?

• Dean – One of Jacob or Bella’s wigs. It’d be much easier to hide Rob in some of those shiteous wigs then a baseball cap and dirty clothes. Everyone’s looking for a dude in a hat and dirty clothes. No one’s looking for a dude with My Little Pony on his head.

• Big Daddy – that greasy bag of leftover Harry Clearwater Fish Fry from Twilight. I don’t even care if it’s a little moldy. That stuff looked good, it’s the whole reason I made Taylor bulk up and do the 2nd movie so I could have a chance at that famous fish fry.

• David Slade – “The step ladder from props”

• Solomon Trimble – “The name of that gaffer he met on set who worked part time at Subway. Solomon Trimble, Sandwich Artist. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

• Billy Burke – “Charlie handcuffs. Heh… heh… you know why.”

• Cathi Hardi – (said in the most creepy Cathi voice you can imagine) “That audition tape of Rob and Kristen from my bedroom where they kiss and we really see their hot, hot chemistry… OH WAIT I already have that! HA! Just thought I’d say it again in a national publication, it’s been at least a week since I last talked about it.”

I’ll trade you, Esme’s bracelet for 5 lbs

• Mike Welch – “I’m actually trying to lose something I gained from the set. Those 5 extra pounds around my face. Maybe I can give them to Christian Serratos, she needs some meat on her chicken bones.”

So as much as we love the main characters, can we not forget about the little people? The actors and people who REALLY made Twilight what it is today? Do we have to continue to blog for year about the genius of Eric Yorkie till someone like your magazine will know what we care what they’d steal from a set? Who cares from Rob or Taylor have to say about the inner works of their characters or who Kristen draws inspiration from. Give us crap answers from the folks that really matter.

Stealing the keys to Rob’s trailer,
Themoonisdown

What would you take from the set if you could? What would Buttcrack Santa take? Any other minor characters we need to know about?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

151 Commented

How to Tweet, our letter to @Twilight

Tweetin' n movie makin'

Dear @Twilight (the official Twilight Twitter account),

We gotta hand it to you, when you first launched the account yesterday you were off to a blazingly good start. I mean you did all the stuff you should: you had Chris Weitz submit the first tweet, kinda like breaking a bottle of champagne on the bow of a yacht… only this was more like breaking a bottle of Bud Light on a Ford Festiva, but I digress. Then he shilled out some tidbits like official run time and a news bit about the 1st scene being shown on ET next week. All stuff we didn’t know and loved to hear… But to be honest it reads A LOT like a corporate Twitter (HIT IT) and that’s just no good for us fans. While I understand the necessity of it being so-called “professional” may I suggest adding a little PIZAZZ to your tweets, you know just add a little life to what you’re saying… LTT style? We’ll even be so helpful as to rewrite your initial ones and instruct you on the various types of Tweets so you can just sub them out…

So to begin, (I need my laser pointer and Twilight “business” documents folder) there are 6 types of Tweets:

Types of tweets

1. Informational
2. Twitpic
3. Exclusive
4. Oh crap we’re in deep shiz
5. Retweet
6. Reply
   

The Informational tweet– involves relaying some type of message or link to information your followers might be interested in. These can be the most bland and probably need a little creative license to spice up… take for example:

Original:
From Chris Weitz – At sound mixing stage… introducing the werewolves. Trying to get the perfect bass rumble.4:06 PM Oct 12th from web

LTT-ed:
CDublious in da house @ sound stage introducing the werewolves. Trying to get the perfect bass rumble . Not that u will notice it next 2 their bare chests 4:06 PM Oct 12th from web

another example…

Original:
Kristen’s on the cover of Allure – http://tinyurl.com/yh6vkbz What do you think of her pics?about 5 hours ago from web

LTT-ed:
Our lead actress pontificates about stuff in a mag & makes us reconsider this casting 4 the umpteenth time. Check it http://tinyurl.com/yh6vkbz

Follow the cut to read our tips for @Twilight
Continue…

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The tassle’s worth the hassle! Twilight stars graduate

Seniors Rule, underclassmen drool! FORKS SENIORS YALL!!!

Dear Graduating Vampires, Humans and I’m sure some of the Werewolves,

We break for the weekend and you all decide to go and graduate on us. I’m a little disappointed I didn’t receive an invitation to commencement but I’ll just assume mine is lost in the mail and head over to Hallmark asap to get you all a bunch of shiz that says “Class of 2009” that you will eventually find 5 years later when you’re cleaning out our old bedroom at your parents house. Return it NOW for cash. Trust me.

Seeing the caps and gowns and fake diplomas got me thinking about when I graduated and how I loved those cheesy quotes that people used in their commencement speeches, on graduation announcements, and as the class motto so I got to thinking about which quote you guys would choose for your graduation. And here’s what I came up with…

Mike Newton
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us  (burritos).  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bella Swan
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did….  (so TURN me already, Edward!! GEEZ!!) ~Attributed to Mark Twain, unconfirmed

Angela Weber
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. (Cause it always freaking rains in freaking Forks, Washington)  ~Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book

Eric Yorkie
Excellence is not a skill.  It is an attitude  (So CHILLAX!). ~Ralph Marston

Edward Cullen
The important thing is not to stop questioning (But I hope you enjoy disappointment). ~Albert Einstein

Alice Cullen
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance! Manolo Blahniks ~Andy McIntyre

(I know, I know they didn’t graduate the same year, but just go with it…)

Rosalie Hale
Education is the best provision for old age. (So it becoming an Vampire)  ~Aristotle

Jasper Hale
There is a good reason they call these ceremonies ‘commencement exercises’. Graduation is not the end, it’s the beginning (trust me, I’ve done this like 50 times) – Orrin Hatch

Emmett Cullen
Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail (but hopefully no scent for any murderous nomadic vampires).  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy Graduation!

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world (so is blogging about Vampires),
Themoonisdown

UC brings the awesome over at Letters to Rob
Sign Edwards yearbook in the forum!

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