Twilight & Religion

Dear Twilosophy Class,

Moon & I have made enough DC Talk references & basically figured out a way to text-represent the motions to “Lord I lift your name on High” that you must have figured out by now that we have a Christian background. It’s true- we were brought up in Christian homes which immediately makes sense to a bunch of you, confuses another group of you and turns the rest of you off.

We make Twilight-related Christian jokes sometimes that we know only those who can relate will get. Which is a shame b/c they are REALLY REALLY FUNNY.

Anyway, I got this t-shirt from my Bro-in-law who once brought my husband a t-shirt back from an abstinence conference that said “Lights, Camera, NO ACTION” with a director’s chair on the front. And after laughing hysterically and deciding which activity at church I’d wear it to, I sighed and wondered why religion had to be brought into everything. Can’t I just enjoy a book about vampires without someone making it into a Jesus-eternity reference? Apparently not. Please enjoy my t-shirt, found in the bargain bin at a Christian bookstore:

"What would people think if they hear that I'm a Twilight Freak" (and yes, I am wearing jorts)

Yep. That says “Jesus is THE LIGHT of the world” in the Twilight font and “because of Him You can Live Forever.” What!? It’s not because of Edward biting me than putting a syringe filled with venom into my heart that I can live forever!? I don’t care WHAT your religious beliefs are, any religious group using Twilight to get “Down with the kids” is just as bad as Burger King Edward crowns, Twilight maxi-pads & Volturi credit cards.

Why does this shirt exist? Is it because an pastor’s kid got a little too obsessed with Edward that she started thinking about HIM during nightly prayer? And then her dad, the pastor, called up his old roommate from seminary who runs a “ministry” selling Christian pop-culture t-shirts? Or was it the spurred on by the Pastor’s WIFE who brought vampire cupcakes to the Sunday afternoon potluck for new church members? And later that night she suddenly wanted to spice up their 23 year routine “missionary position” with a little biting of the neck and headboard banging? (*Waving hi to my favorite Pastor’s wife who frequents LTT!*)

There’s a site I go to when I feel like getting mad at the super conservative elements of my upbringing that I won’t dignify with a link because it doesn’t deserve it, but in their review of Twilight they pointed out the negative elements including:

Buttcrack-Santa NEGATIVE? Not-uh. You did NOT go there. That’s enough to make me renounce my faith RIGHT there.

Mormons, a video & a quote you DON’T want to miss, after the jump! Continue…

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