This if how you found us? Vol. 2

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR Readers and Random Googlers –

It’s that time of the month again! Time to go trolling through the search terms that led people to our site. Last month we started this feature because we wanted to share with you awesome readers some of the funny stuff UC and I see on the ‘backend’ of the blogs that never get seen by anyone else. For the uninitiated wordpress has this handy dandy feature that shows us every day what terms people google to find us. Most searches that lead people here are obvious ones like: Twilight, Letters, Rob, shirtless Kellan pics… you know the usuals! But every so often we get a real winner that simply must be shared with the world and here are this months…

Top searches:
These are terms people used to find us

• filet-o-fish fan site – uh no, not us but this sounds like the perfect name for our new LetterstoTaylorsDad fan site. We LOVE you Taylor’s Dad!

• a shirtless jackson rathbone – it warms my heart that we’re thought of as a place where shirtless pics of the cast can be found. Someday I will unveil my gallery of all the shirtless pictures I’ve been collecting since we started these blogs

• kristen stewart looking like shit – so uh you’re looking for just ANY picture of Kristen, huh. Is there any other way she looks?

• robert pattinson buttcrack – Oh HALE nah, who does Rob think he is? Our lover Buttcrack Santa. NEVER!

• Robert pattinson win a date contest 2009 – Brought to you by a Nigerian Prince and the UK Lottery (which you’ve won!). Just ask these girls

• im rob pattinson ex-girlfriend – no you’re not! SHE is!

• robert pattinson hamburger – ok fakerpattz we know this one’s you!

• unicorn jasper – He does speak eloquently about Twilight, but these guys might have something to say about that!

• pornos – um, wrong place dudes. Unless we’re talking Rob, then head over here

• sass family crest – Sass? Was this you?

• does rob pattinson brush his teeth – this is still up for debate

• edward von twiligt – is this anything like the Count von Count?

More funnies after the cut… Continue…

59 Commented

The Unicorns may not like this convo…

Dear Stephanie Meyer,

We love you. Have we mentioned that? (Or is it obvious b/c we dedicate TONS of time from our EXTREMELY busy lives to blogging about Twilight?) We love your books. We love your storytelling. We don’t care that you overuse the word “irrevocably.” We don’t care that there wasn’t a major battle at the end of Breaking Dawn. We’re successful, independent, driven woman who know your book(s) aren’t meant to be anti-feminist. You had a dream about the most perfect man in the universe, and you wrote a bestselling series about it. We Get That.

What we don’t get is what happens when Bella gets her period? Does Edward just go away for 3-7 days? If so, where does he go? Or isn’t that blood appealing to him because it comes out of Bella’s “hoo-hoo” and that’s so sicknast? (holla Lauren’s Bite for that word) Or is it that much MORE appealing to him because it comes out of Bella’s “hoo hoo” and he wants to “tap that?” (Um, I need to re-read YOUR books because I just said “hoo-hoo” and “tap-that” in the same sentence which unfortunately resembles Fan-Fic rather than your beautiful, literary work(s).)

The person who made this marketing decision should be fired.

Are you wondering where this random question came from? Well, it might be because Moon found this wonderful advertisement for o.b. tampons featuring a vampire with tampons as his teeth.

Uh, we might want to check with the expert, Lauren, over at Lauren’s Bite, but I think we can also categorize this advertisement as sicknast.

So, we’d just like a little clarity on this issue because it really bothers us that the bloodthirsty perfect vampire, Edward, doesn’t seem to be bothered by Bella’s friendly neighborhood visitor who likes to come every 28 days or so.

Maybe Edward has a problem with Bella’s monthly visitor, but Rob Pattinson doesn’t seem to:

Love,
Us

“Sicknast” Source & thanks to Mama2Bella for the “Rob Porn“

Reminder that you have until 7pm ET TONIGHT to enter our Twilight-Party-Pack Giveaway!

Update 3/18: Someone from o.b. tampons left us a comment saying: ‘I’d like to clarify that this image is not one of our advertisements; it was drafted by our ad agency in Switzerland and was rejected, as it does not reflect our values and standards.” Just an FYI! A vampire will not come after your hoo-hoo if you use their tampons!

73 Commented