Breaking Down Swiftner aka we heart Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift HARD!

Dear LTT-ers and Robsteners,

We so get it now! After the pictures of the Taylors (aka Swiftner) came out this week and the ensuing letters I wrote to them UC and I fangirled out (it was mostly a lot of high pitched “oh-em-geeing) half the day about Swiftner and how much we loved them. I started watching the clips commenters posted in the letters to the Taylors post and I knew I had a new addiction. Here’s UC and I breaking it down…

The one where I “come out”
Moon: I officially sound like the Swiftner version of a robsten fan*
UC hahahahahahha and i like it SO much more!
Moon Yes, it’s not nearly as annoying or annoying at ALL
UC RIGHT! just cute!
Moon dude ive SO watched like 2 videos of him at her concert in Chicago. Stop me
UC: hahahahahhahaha love it!
Moon: people are posting them in the comments. She sings 15 in the audience in front of Taylor and then comes to hug the folks where he’s sitting and when she hugs him and the crowd goes nuts. its SOOO embarrassing. im embarrassed for them. and then they do that lingering hand holding thing as she walks away. Swiftner lives folks! hahahaha
UC: awwwww!!!! sooo cute!!!!
Moon its super cute
UC dude.. that’s amazing. Send me the link to the video

Moon: OMG!!! HAHAHA its even more embarrassing from this other angle
UC: Watching! Awwww!
Moon SO CUTE!
UC he’s like “i love you” SOO cute! what if he sang? i’d die if he started singing along with her!
Moon: HAHAHAH they need to do a duet. I hope taylor has seen taylors crappy student video

Follow the cut to see us have an epiphany and plot our Swiftner love blog
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How to be a fun celebrity

Dear Twilight cast members who are absolutely no fun (read: Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson),

What’s your problem? Can’t you have a little fun? Sure it’s annoying having people run after you so you can sign a book that you had absolutely no part in writing. And some fans (read: most fans) are absolutely crazy, but it’s your life. And it’s not going away. So why not laugh about it? Otherwise, you’re just going to be running away for forever. And while all that running may produce a kick-ass gluteus maximus, who needs tight buns when you’re just hiding away in a dark hotel room all day long? (if you’re doing something with those tight buns in the dark hotel room, that’s a different story…)

If you want to trade positions, I’m willing. (positions in life- I’m no longer talking about tight buns) I’d be such a fun celebrity.. like Fach- Peter Facinelli. That dude knows how to be a celebrity the right way. He joined twitter, started tweeting back & forth with fans and before you knew it, some dude he knows is in a bikini on the street in Hollywood! Peter’s a good time!

I’ve put together a list of ideas on how to be a fun celebrity. Take my advice & your life will be so much more joy-filled, less stressful and you’ll be able to show off that gluteus maximus in public, instead of hiding away in a hotel room.

• 

  Kellan, do you think that photographer would sign my book?

  When you’re running away from the paparazzi and you jump into a cab, kiss the cabbie.

• Tired of people thinking you’re with so-and-so just because you were seen together near the used lingerie section of VanCity’s finest thrift store? Hold hands with your bodyguard. And skip. (if you’re feeling extra funny, slip your new, used panties over the bodyguard’s head)
• Carry around a Twilight book and have one of your cast members sign it right in front of the paps. OR ask the paps to sign it.
• Stop fearing the paps- LOVE on them. Carry around a notebook & write little messages for them. “I like it when you call me Big Papa” (tell Big Daddy Lautner about that- he’ll get a kick out of it) or ‘Breaking News! I’m a hermaphrodite” or something simple like “I love the paps.” If you’re not feeling up to risking ending up as the latest freak mentioned in the National Enquirer, write about a charity- “fightpovery.org”
• Get an official twitter. You wouldn’t even have to tweet often. People would still write you every day and wait for you to say “Damn that steak was good” or “My dirty hair is starting to itch” (psst there is even a setting where you can turn OFF replies from people you don’t follow! Protection from the fangirls!) Plus you could tweet lies like “Headed to 100 monkeys tonight- Man i Love them!” and instead run back to that thrift store because you forgot to pick up matching flannel pajama pants.
• Drunk Tweet. Billy Black Burke (that was not an intentional mistake) does it the best:
  

  Just sitting here in my hotel room with uncomfortable images of PFach and Lutz together in a tandem lotus position. mmmm, dreamy.

  What the…?

I love little boys, and Twitpic

• Once you have a twitter, get yourself a Twitpic account. Photoshop yourself with a mustache. Or photoshop your co-stars with a mustache. Upload the pictures.
• Be touchy-feely with fangirls. Well, the hot ones anyway. I happen to think Kellan should be a lil more choosy with the fans he loves on. Pick the hottest ones (we do exist), get a lil smooch and maybe, if you’re feeling dangerous, even a lil’ more. Or kiss your co-stars who don’t get enough attention. Have you SEEN Christian Serratos lately? Dang…..
• Put it out there on Craigslist like this guy. Don’t be ashamed if you have a strong want for a gorgeous Asian boy. And even if you don’t want a gorgeous Asian boy, pretend that you do. Cause you know that some pap will reply to the ad and set-up a date with you so they can catch you and sell the story. But the joke will be on them. Dress up like a vampire (I hear you may know somewhere you can swipe some clothes & make-up), set up some candles & romantic music, get your video camera ready with a live feed to your tinychat for twitter and open the door and say “Mama taught me how to make you ‘meow’ ” The pap might not get  it, but we all will.

Stop being a sourpuss couple. Be FUN celebrities! Learn from Fach, Kellan, TayTay and whoever is 26 and looking for a lil’ gaysian lovin’ to pass the time!

Happy to help!
UnintendedChoice

Who are your fav fun Twi-lebrities?

Discuss who wants a gaysian lover on The Forum
See if Rob did anything funny over on LTR

Pic Source and Thanks to Fatima for mustache-Kristen!)

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Breaking down pics from the set of Eclipse

Dear LTT-ers,

With the total lack of any real Twi news or pictures larger than 1 inch by 1 inch, UC and I decided to do a little break down of the pictures from the Eclipse set. We speculate what scenes they could be from, how the actors prepared for the scene and what kind of mood they would have to be in. Ok, ok… you know us better than that- we get started off with how hot Rob is and then quickly devolve into some nonsense about Full House or Big Daddy’s love of McDonald’s menu items. This break down is no different! So let’s get it on!

Perfecting our waffle recipes,
Moon & UC

The one where we make a $7.00 bet
moon: ok SOOO lets start with some hottness
UC: if i didn’t know better, i wouldn’t know that wasn’t rachelle. sorry rachelle 🙁
moon: i know! totes looks like her
UC: and bryce has got a BOOTTAYYY
moon: riley likes big butts and he cannot lie
UC: so true So…. interesting about the kiss… wonder when it is
moon: so is that a wig shes wearing
UC: my guess is they probably show parts of seattle. it has to be a wig, that girl’s hair is stick straight
moon: yea im wondering about all this kiss/newborns/etc buisness since i dont remember it being HUGE in the book. i mean the movies gonna be long as ef already so then shotting all these other scenes is suprising to me but cool
UC: yeah… $7 it gets cut- please write that down somewhere
moon: noted
UC: so you don’t forget you owe me $7
moon: thats half a 2nd screening of eclipse on the following day since we’ll SO be seeing it AGAIN
UC: you could just buy me popcorn and 1/2 a drink
moon: ok we’ll share the drink diet coke and ill bring a LITTLE BOTTLE of rum. We’ll pour one out for our homie buttcrack santa. RIP
UC: RIP
UC: i’m gonna need the booze
moon: yea im gonna need it too, calm the nerves
UC: seeing rob roll around with HER doing the leg hitch. sigh
moon: we should make sure we’re packing at the midnight showing. GOD ill be thinking MULLET the whole time. hoping the wig falls off
UC: by packing do you mean our penis’ look big? cuz i don’t know what you mean
moon: yup, we’re defs stuffing our team jacob panties, so our packages scare the other bloggers, sorta like marking our territory. THIS theaters OURS bitches
UC: seriously.. take THAT “Letters to God”

Follow the cut to apply for a job as a Twi-pap, learn about fish waffles and President Hamilton oh and Eclipse!
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Twilosophy of the fandom – REAL Twilight fan?

REAL fan?!

Dear LTTers/Twilosophy Majors,

For quite some time now we’ve been reading emails, viewing other sites posts, receiving comments, and talking between us about what it is to be a “REAL fan.” We’ve been told by countless people that because of what we post we are not “Real fans”  and we’ve read on many other fansites and blogs and been on email chains toting the tenants of a “REAL fan” And apparently we (and many of you) are not “Real fans” because  being a ‘REAL fan” means something quite different to us than them. To certain folks, being a fan, means always agreeing with the powers that be, always saying something nice or non-divisive, loving everything about the saga or movies, opposing any sort of speculation or the posting of any possible rumors and god forbid: posting a picture taken by a paparazzo! The horror! But we beg to differ (of course!) because we definitely do all the above so-called no-no’s but we also love this saga like McAdams loved Gosling (RIP). And who’s to decide the level of someone else’s fandom? Can we really base our love for something on these outward displays of devotion?

• does kissing butt and blindly accepting everything make you a “real fan”

• does bringing up objections and differing opinions make you any less of a fan?

• Does it make us less of a fan of the actors or books by posting a paparazzi picture?

• When we write something in jest about an actor or character does that make us mean spirited?

I still read every little dumb post, read every article and buy every magazine (well the ones with the good pics!), own TWO full sets of the saga, own a Pocket Edward, co-write two blogs about Twilight and Rob, talk incessantly about the stories, have recommended the books to countless people and yet I’m not a “REAL fan?”

Because I’m a word nerd I looked up the word “fan” and here’s what we get…

Fan –noun
an enthusiastic devotee, follower, or admirer of a sport, pastime, celebrity, etc.
Origin:
1885–90, Americanism; short for fanatic

Synonyms:
supporter, enthusiast, ardent admirer, booster, addict

Not a fan!

Ok, so I’m pretty sure we could be called enthusiastic devotees and ardent admirers and most definitely ADDICTS! So what does it all mean? UC and I have sat around dwelling on this topic for months now and we hope that it comes across in the right way. Not as a pat on the back for ourselves but as validation to the other countless fans, YOU GUYS, who are just like us, think it’s alright to do all those things listed above and still be a fan! That’s why we started a blog- not just for the hell of starting a blog- but to be different. To say something interesting about the Saga we love. To BE those true fans who say “I love this so much I’m not afraid to admit that you suck in that moment” To say – no- you did it wrong. Because by doing that makes our happiness and excitement that much more genuine.

You know those friends or boyfriends when you ask “does this make me look fat?” or “What do you think of this dress?” automatically answer “YES?” While it’s nice to hear a compliment, in the end I’m going to trust the person who told me I looked like “a stuffed sausage in spanx” for advice over the “You look like Heidi Klum” person any day, because I know they’re being honest and want the best for me. And I only look like Heidi Klum on weekends after all.

Yes, frequently

On the same tip, when someone writes a review in the New York Times- they’re honest (and yes, I’m comparing us to the New York Times, go with it for the sake of the lecture!) They don’t say what they think the publishing house wants them to say. They don’t take the authors feelings into consideration. They are truly honest- and I think it’s important for people to have their own opinions. And equally as important: we need to leave room for other people’s opinions who differ from our own! it’s like “they” say: variety is the spice of life, differences make the world go round, never turn down a free filet-o-fish or whatever it is “they” say.  So that’s what we will do and continue to do. Write honest, while humorous, looks at saga and movies we love so much while being open for differing opinions, LOVING the good and calling out the bad.

a REAL fan,
Themoonisdown

So what say you? Do you feel like there are signs for true fandom? Have you been judged as a fan either way?

Don’t miss out on some Rob goodies at Letters to Rob
Real fans love the forum!

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Rob and Kristen spotted in Hollywood, the story

*in light of all that’s happened over the last 24hrs, make your own assumptions, look at the pics, and take everything with a grain of salt and decide if it really matters to you. We’re still fans of the books and movies and that’s what matters!*

Dear LTT-ers, gossip hounds, lookie loos, Robstens and Nonstens-

Here’s my story as it appears partially on Radar Online.

First you must know that we are mostly “don’t get a crapsten,” around here. We’ve presented both sides of the Robsten vs Nonsten side and have left it up to you to decide. And once again in light of what’s happened we take that stance again. So without further adieu here are the deets as it happened.

Last night fellow fan and pal Ashley and I went out to the Hotel Cafe to catch the Bobby Long show cause well he has amazing music and ya never know there’s always a chance! We roll up to the venue grab some prime standing location next to the front of the stage near the front door emergency exit. So we’re cooking along, beverages in hand, meet the lovely Emmelouwhoo and settle in to enjoy Bobby’s music. A few songs in around 10PM we hear someone pounding on that front exit and a few of us glance over there in time to see Marcus Foster walked in followed by Rob Pattinson in that unmistakable black beanie (and apparently Kristen who we didn’t see till later) and don’t catch anything else cause I turn around to confirm with Emmeloowhoo and Ashley that I was not in fact having Bella style visions of Rob flashing in my head. And they can confirm that it was indeed Rob in the flesh. We saw him for about all of a second as they made a quick step to the right of the door behind a very small curtain. At this point I was looking for my Comic Con preparedness kit because we all needed a paper bag for hyperventilating because I was standing one person away from this curtain.

A few songs pass and we notice that the crowd wasn’t freaking out, so we surmised that it was either because this is LA and most folks hardly get star struck after living here a few years or in fact they really did sneak in almost undetected. Now as much as I will rep for LA, judging by our own silent freak outs, I don’t think most of them would have stayed that nonchalant had they known Rob was maybe a foot or two away from them.

It was nearing the end of the set and a few songs at the end Bobby glances over to that little curtained off area and a little look of recognition passes and he smiles and give them the nod. At this point we knew Bobby was ending his set so we made the executive decision to divide and conquer and head for the front. It was pretty obvious he wouldn’t leave through the crowd of people and that he would head straight back out that front exit.

Ashley and I headed for the front and hung out against the wall. It was us, a valet dude, a hobo and two German chicks. No paparazzi, no nothing. Then things started happened. The door opened and Marcus rushed out right into the street and hailed a cab. At this point we knew he was headed out. Marcus gets the cab (about 1030) as close as he can which is probably about 20 feet or less from where we were standing and they would definitely have to walk in front of us. Then Marcus walks back to the door, and out comes Rob!! Yes, I saw Rob Pattinson and he walked in front of me. If I had reached out my hand I would have touched him. He walked half bent over (like in the photo) and booked it for the cab. NO bodyguards! We had a few seconds to look at him and then shocker of shockers right behind him by a few feet walks Kristen Stewart! At that point we are both shocked because we did not see her walk in. She walks fast by us doing that patented KStew hair thing and awkward walk to follow Rob and Marcus out to the cab. Marcus jumps into the cab first, followed by Rob who half flies in and then Kristen jumps in and they speed off crouching down. Because I am half shocked I get one pic of them jumping into the cab and one of the cab speeding away towards Sunset. Sorry for the shizzy quality but I didn’t want to use the flash and it is from my blackberry. As much as I would love to scoop it with a better picture, that’s really not my style and I thought a lot about even posting that one (ask the gals who went with me).

Now that is the whole story. Take from it what you want, make your own assumptions but mine are as follows…

• Rob, Kristen and Marcus came to see Marcus and Rob’s friend Bobby play a show

• There was NO touchy-feel-y business happening from what we saw of them leaving or from behind the curtain. I feel as though if they had been doing anything behind that curtain the very immature girls next to us would have flipped out and we would have seen something through the flimsy curtain

• That curtain area is less than the size of my arms outstretched. Any shenanigans could be because of that and if Rob and Kristen were touching than Rob was definitely SPOONING Marcus too as it is TINY!

• They left somewhat separately. A known paparazzi trick is to walk far enough apart so they can’t be shot together, but there were no paparazzi

• Rob practically ran from the door to the cab leaving Kristen to shuffle to the cab by herself

• He gets in the cab first, doesn’t touch her or allow her to jump in first. If they were together I would think he’d wait for her and allow her to get in. Who knows though

• Both of them being together in public at all could point to the fact either they’re together or just don’t care

• A good portion of that small audience did not see this or know anything went down as evidenced by the fact no one was talking about it after the show minus a small group (us and the hobo!)

Our small group thinks they’re either JUST friends (meh) or totally friends with benefits but don’t lean towards any official couple status. Again proof = truth and this is just a picture of them getting into a cab with Marcus after seeing a friend play.

So there ya have it… are they together? Are they not? Does it make a difference to you? What say you?!
Themoonisdown

take the cut to see another picture and video from the show…

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