Ask and ye shall receive! Answered Twilight Prayers

Dear Twilight,

We spend most of our time complaining about things related to you and praying that something will change and not enough talking about when things go right! Cause that happens about .5% of the time, but I digress. So I’d like to showcase some of our answered prayers!

Remember just the other day when I wrote a letter within a letter asking for an official Wolfpack Jorts picture?! Well ask and ye shall receive because not a day later we were graced with this…

Coming to a Gap near you!

Coming to a Gap near you!

Hallelujah! Someone up there (Summit) is reading LTT and watching out for me. Just look at those jorts, the beauty, the magesty! Though, to be honest, I was praying for a more shirtless JortsPack picture a less a ripped muscle tee picture that accentuates their manboobs. Their moobs, if you will. But for now I’ll print it out and add to my shrine of the Jortspack.

Follow the cut to see the rest of my answered Twilight prayers
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Shh, we've got a secret to share… and it might involve Jacob Black

Who are you people?

Who are you people?

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Team Edward members-

I’ve got a secret that I’ve been hiding for a while. It’s not something I tell other people I usually hide it away and tell people what they want to hear cause really who wants to hear this dirty tale? No it’s not an addiction to Rob Porn and no I’m not hitting the sauce or smokin’ the mary jane, and no I haven’t turned into a crazy Pattinson Pants wearing Twihard. Nope it’s an entirely different secret all together.

But I couldn’t handle the secret anymore… I just had to share with someone else and risk ostracizing myself because I couldn’t take it anymore! So I asked UC to sit down and brace herself cause what I was about to reveal was quite heavy. And what ensued reads like two addicts discussing their secret tendencies for the bad stuff…

Moon: i picked up NM again
Moon: bella said “holy crow” in the part i read last night
Moon: im having team jacob tendencies but i think its cause i havent read about edward in forever
UC: i’ll be honest… i’m loving him these days too
UC: i dunno why
Moon: seriously, I’m so glad you said that!! I felt like an outcast!
UC: i dunno why… but we are

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

OK OK OK!!! Yes, I’m secretly loving Jacob and I can’t stop. Don’t look at me that way, I can see your disappointed eyes through this letter! So why is that? Why do we feel like we’ve betrayed Edward? And why is Jacob looking like such a possibility these days? Do we have a classic case of the wandering eye? Have we gotten a little too comfortable in our love for Edward that seeing Jacob again shines a new light on the situation? I feel like initially you’re so blinded by how lovely, and beautiful, and hot, and perfect  Edward is that Jacob just comes off like my good buddy from gym class. But now that we’ve been going steady for a while, you start to look around a little and see Jacob again and notice that he’s not only your pal but actually that amazingly hot, nice guy who might be the quarterback of the football team that you overlooked in your initial Edward-lust.

Omg, is it November yet?

Omg, is it November yet?

And I’m sure seeing Taylor at Comic Con didn’t help, nor did those picture of him with Taylor Swift, or that official picture from the set of him and Kristen in the truck, or reading the part in New Moon where he jumps into her window to tell her he’s trying to “keep his promise” or the part where Bella chooses to let him drive away after she spots Alice. So what’s a girl to do when she’s questioning her team allegiance?

Well… how about question it some more, keeping reading New Moon, count down the days till New Moon is released and OD on some Taylor and wonder if Team Edward will ever forgive me…

We’re not cheating on you Edward, we just want you to know you have some serious competition!

XO
Themoonisdown

PS I just figured out I’m almost 10 years older than Taylor. That’s just wrong and also weird that I never realized that before.

Get over to Letters to Rob to read about what UC think’s Rob is doing right now
Switch to Team Jacob in the Forum and don’t feel bad about it!

Pics from someplace I can’t remember and Lion & Lamb Love

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She’s at it again! AmanDAH the TwiMom video vixen!

Dear LTT/LTR-ers,

Remember last weekend when I brought you my newest favorite fan video creator? Well she’s at it again and we’ve decided to give her a nickname because she’s too amazing NOT to have one. This lovely gal shall now be called AmandDAH the Twimom Video Vixen, cause yes, this woman is a mom! And she’s not only creating vids of her version of the New Moon trailer with her special hubster but is writing, singing and recording her own songs inspired by Twilight! Oh yes, hang on to your butts cause this is gonna blow that trailer out of the water!

Let’s start out with her upbeat diddy titled “My Vampire”

I keep worrying that her shirt may fall off through this whole video… makes it hard to concentrate on the amazing lyrics…

Starting over
in a new school forks high
eyes on me
dont like the attention

then i spot him out
staring me down
looking mean
looking pale and handsome

hes not a man hes a vampire

Alrighty now let’s slow it down with her next smash hit titled “Beautiful Vampire”

Now if I was the director of a Twilight porno spoof: Bella Does Forks, this is the song I would pick for the soundtrack…

pale white skin
ice cold chill
sheild of mine
vampire eyes
fast
blink of an eye

thirst of my wine

hes beautiful
beautiful vampire

Seriously guys, I really can’t wait to see what AmanDAH comes up with next cause I couldn’t write this stuff… she’s the biggest Twilight fan who’s never read Twilight!

Happy Saturday!
Themoonisdown

LTR
The Forum

Follow the cut for a very special announcement about the Porn-off between us and the Twi Sisterhood
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Ready, set Bake-off!

Dear LTT darlings & unicorns,

On Friday we wrote a letter about the fake-sorority we’re starting. We had you suggest names for this sorta, kinda sorority, and DIED of laughter at the hilarious things you came up with.  We narrowed down our favs & want you to help us decide in a poll:

Thanks to ’86 rabbit, Jena, MegO and Proselyte3 for your suggestions! We both have a favorite, but we won’t say unless our choices win!

Oh, but there’s MORE. Much more. Another sorority THREATENED us! GASP. Check it after the cut Continue…

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The Unicorns may not like this convo…

Dear Stephanie Meyer,

We love you. Have we mentioned that? (Or is it obvious b/c we dedicate TONS of time from our EXTREMELY busy lives to blogging about Twilight?) We love your books. We love your storytelling. We don’t care that you overuse the word “irrevocably.” We don’t care that there wasn’t a major battle at the end of Breaking Dawn. We’re successful, independent, driven woman who know your book(s) aren’t meant to be anti-feminist. You had a dream about the most perfect man in the universe, and you wrote a bestselling series about it. We Get That.

What we don’t get is what happens when Bella gets her period? Does Edward just go away for 3-7 days? If so, where does he go? Or isn’t that blood appealing to him because it comes out of Bella’s “hoo-hoo” and that’s so sicknast? (holla Lauren’s Bite for that word) Or is it that much MORE appealing to him because it comes out of Bella’s “hoo hoo” and he wants to “tap that?” (Um, I need to re-read YOUR books because I just said “hoo-hoo” and “tap-that” in the same sentence which unfortunately resembles Fan-Fic rather than your beautiful, literary work(s).)

The person who made this marketing decision should be fired.

The person who made this marketing decision should be fired.

Are you wondering where this random question came from? Well, it might be because Moon found this wonderful advertisement for o.b. tampons featuring a vampire with tampons as his teeth.

Uh, we might want to check with the expert, Lauren, over at Lauren’s Bite, but I think we can also categorize this advertisement as sicknast.

So, we’d just like a little clarity on this issue because it really bothers us that the bloodthirsty perfect vampire, Edward, doesn’t seem to be bothered by Bella’s friendly neighborhood visitor who likes to come every 28 days or so.

Maybe Edward has a problem with Bella’s monthly visitor, but Rob Pattinson doesn’t seem to:

bloated-mama2bella

Love,
Us

“Sicknast” Source & thanks to Mama2Bella for the “Rob Porn

Reminder that you have until 7pm ET TONIGHT to enter our Twilight-Party-Pack Giveaway!

Update 3/18: Someone from o.b. tampons left us a comment saying: ‘I’d like to clarify that this image is not one of our advertisements; it was drafted by our ad agency in Switzerland and was rejected, as it does not reflect our values and standards.” Just an FYI! A vampire will not come after your hoo-hoo if you use their tampons!

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