Where are they now? with Solomon Trimble

Dear Solomon Trimble (yes, you read that right),

Over our self imposed “Spring Break” and then my birthday I did a lot of deeeeeep thinking. What’s the meaning of life? How can we solve extreme poverty? He named his dog Bear? Was Rover/Buddy/Bailey/Fido taken? Why’s it called Rhode Island if it’s neither a road nor an island? You know, the important stuff. Somewhere between world peace and the perfect apple pie recipe (nutmeg!) I started wondering what you were up to. We joke that maybe you’re working the late shift at Home Depot or maybe (horror of horrors) Cathy Hardwicke’s pool boy but really WHAT are you doing??

Then we received the following from our twitter friend LJSzab

Yup, “Twilight’s Solomon Trimble” is a (short) film star! Gone are the days of playing second fiddle to some wanna be heart throbs called Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Move over boys we have a REAL man on our hands. So of course even just watching that little trailer made me wonder a lot of things…

Things I wondered while watching watching the trailer for The Price:

• So does The Price take place in the future? In the past? On the back lot of Universal where they keep the Back to the Future III props stored?

They can't see me and I can't smell me!

• Did someone throw a stink bomb on the set or did Solomon have tacos for lunch and didn’t want to pass out from his own fumes whilst robbing the old tyme-y bank thus wrapped a white pashmina around his delicate lady hairs?

• Wait, in this version of the old west they have 15 passenger church vans instead of horses? Probably makes the bank robbing easier but confuses the HALE outta the locals. Witchcraft!!!!

• Does the ONLY girl in the film have to knock the (cowboy) boots with any of these dudes? Was this: http://www.sadtrombone.com the soundtrack?

This is what we in the biz refer to as FX. HQ FX!

• When I tried to find this trailer on YouTube, YT kept prompting me to watch “The Price is Right” videos. I think they realize the future of the folks from “The Price” is actually game show contestants.

• A 20 second video of UC and I singing the love theme from Twilight while playing with some plastic action figures in a park has more views than this trailer. Should we or the people behind The Price be ashamed?

• Where are the vampires?? Did I miss him phasing into a wolf?

Being the inquisitive soul who must quench her thirst for ALL Solomon Trimble knowledge I went to the films website and discovered this little gem on “The Talent” page…

Actual photo used with his bio. Text and all

ACTOR (Arrio): Solomon Trimble –  The native Portlander Solomon Trimble is a recently discovered actor, having his  cinematic debut in the film Twilight. Prior to landing that role, he had been in  many productions in the Portland area since the age of nine. Solomon recently  graduated with a degree in mathematics from Portland State University.  He works with the  Portland Public Schools teaching math, guitar, poetry, Native American dance and  lectures on the traditional use of Tobacco/Tobacco cessation. He can also be  sighted at many poetry venues in Seattle and the downtown Portland area.  Solomon has been performing his poetry across America and plans to publish a  poetry book this year. Solomon is Apache/Lakota and comes with unique  perspectives on race-relations, history and culture in America.   Solomon is currently on tour in Europe dancing with a cultural indigenous dance  troop called the Wolf Dancers.

Don't make me lecture you about poetry and "tobacco!!"

FIRST OFF: “…lectures on the traditional use of Tobacco/Tobacco cessation.” – We were all thinking it. Translation rollin on dubs smokin on buds… we got your number Solomon but if you want to lecture to the youths about tokin’ it up and call it education SNAPS TO YOU MY FRIEND! And wtf Portland School Administrators!?!

Next: “…plans to publish a  poetry book this year.” – YES! Just, YES!

Lastly: “…a cultural indigenous dance  troop called the Wolf Dancers” – Mmmmhmmm yea. So they could also be called the “I-was-the-original-Sam-Uley-in-Twilight-before-I-got-dropped-for-that-guy- who-talks-like-Barry-White-but-whatever-Wolf-Dancers.”

So for all who were wondering, including myself whether Solomon Trimble had been scooping ice cream at the Dairy Queen or starring in short films while teaching Portland school children about traditional uses of tobacco, then YES to the last two. That’s that he’s been up to! Now I can sleep easier.

Deeeeeep thoughts with
Themoonisdown

So was anyone else wondering all these things? Do wyou deeply care about Solomon Trimble like we do? Have any of your children sat in on a lecture about the traditional use of tobacco? Did you get pass the dutchy on the left hand side?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

49 Commented

ZZZZzzzzz the Oscars and Twilight… LIES!

Dear Oscars,

Welp, thanks for giving me exactly ZERO material besides a 5 second moment in a clip that was autotuned! Way to be a uuuuge let down. Where was the rumored Breaking Dawn footage, though admittedly, that would have been awkward. And no trinity? Could you not have thrown them in the audience or CGI-ed (technical term) them clapping for some winner? No? No one? FINE… let’s watch it again

video here

If someone has the ringtone of this please email it or post it cause like EVERYONE is asking.

Remember that time Rob was at the Oscars?

Yea, that was a good night. Remember when my phone died because of the overload of comments on LTR? Yea… that was a good night.

Remember when Kristen and Taylor were at the Oscars?

Yea that was an ok night… Remember how Kristen had a flub and people freaked out and I forgot Taylor was there? Yea.

So Oscars… you’ve have Rob, Taylor and Kristen representing Twilight at the telecast over the last 2 years, don’t you think it’s time for someone else to rep for the saga? Like maybe Solomon Trimble? He could do a fancy french braid for the special night… or maybe Mr. Molina could come and quiz the attendees on Oscar history? Who will win the golden onion at the Oscars?

Well that was a snoozefest I gotta say… Franco was robbed but oh wells. There’s always next year when the trinity will no doubt be nommed for their performances in Breaking Dawn. Award for best forbidden love affair? Taylor Lautner and whoever plays Renesmee: AUTOMATIC WIN!

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, the Oscars discovered Autotune,
Themoonisdown

Did anyone else sit through this? Who won their Oscar pool? I came in second (2nd place 3 way tie. HA!) White Yorkie won. HE WOULD.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

137 Commented

There’s an (Twilight) app for that!

(Today Freya gets all tech-y on us and talks about her iphone and Twilight… there’s a post for that! xo, moon)

none of the above!

Dear Twilight:

I’m a total iPhone fangirl. I’ve had my 3GS for over a year now, and I am an app whore. I love the fact that iPhone advertises that “there’s an app for that.” Because it’s so true. And as we recently discovered (and UC discussed on Letters to Rob), there’s even an app for stalking Rob! So you can conveniently know where Rob is two days after he appears there. And so you can also get incensed and start your “Respect Rob” campaign afresh (or whip out your jazzhands and “Disrespect Rob Nice and Slow” with me).

Anywhoodle, it got me thinking about what kind of apps the rest of the Twilight cast might have, if they were so popular. What kind of things are being slaved over by the application developers of the world RIGHT NOW? Without further ado, here are some of my ideas. (If you decide to develop these, bitches, I want a cut!)

• Justin Chon’s Disco Double Pack!

In an excellent value for your money, the people behind Justin Chon, AKA “Gaysian Eric”, are offering two applications for the price of one, both marketed to the ladies. The first app is The Gaysiandar. Most women have to rely on their intuition to figure out if a guy is on her side of the fence, or on the other side. This app, which mysteriously uses the landscape and portrait orientation function to identify another kind of orientation, is to help those clueless girls out, and to save them the heartache of falling for just another fabulous face.

The companion app is entitled “How to Hag”. For all you aspiring hags out there, you, too, can walk in the footsteps of Angela…ummm…anyone who wants to have a gay boyfriend. Some tips include “don’t be too attractive; if you are, cover it with nerdish glasses” and “be slightly taller than your gay boyfriend, so if you’re ever tempted to kiss him, it will be extremely awkward.” Words to live by, ladies.


There's an app for that

• Kristen Stewart’s Bitchface!

A photo editing app, this one will slap a mildly uncomfortable grimace or a wryly sardonic raised eyebrow on the faces of your family and friends. Imagine the hilarity of showing off your family reunion photos, with everyone from Aunt Gladys to cousin Earl to Granny Marie with matching bitchfaces! Or the fun of sending a sexy bitchface photo to your Stew-lovin’ boyfriend or husband! You can also buy bonus effects from the app store, such as “awkward feet” and “flipping the bird.” You can also buy the “Copstache” effect for an additional .99 cents. Fun for the whole family!

• Kellan Lutz’s Protein Calculator and Modeling Tips

How much protein is in a ziplock bag of hard-boiled eggs? Kellan Lutz knows! And now he’s bringing those secrets to you! Just type in the name of the food you’re going to eat and the calculator lets you know how much protein is in your meal! This app also offers tips on how to look your best at a photoshoot (“Take off your shirt, but not if you’re flabby,” “Oil up your muscles, maybe even with real crude oil,” “carry a manly prop, like an axe or a wrench” “use a sock”). Kellan’s voice offers encouraging phrases when you fall behind on protein consumption. Hear him say “You can do it!” “No, really dude, you can do it!” “For real, you’re awesome, and can do it!”

(Side note: I think my gay boyfriend has already downloaded this app. But he uses the encouraging phrases for “recreational” use, if you know what I mean.)


There's an app for this

• Dress Me Up Taylor Lautner

In the style of virtual paper dolls, you can dress Taylor up, or dress him down! With a plethora of black suits and skinny ties, he’s ready for a premiere, night on the town, a press junket, an awards show, or just a quiet night at home. Also included: track pants, basketball shorts, karate outfit, and a variety of pop and Disney stars for accessories.

• Nikki Reed’s Does the Carpet Match the Drapes?

Well, we all know the eyebrows didn’t match the hair. In this fun matching game, make Nikki’s sartorial selections for her! Match curly red with long straight blonde. Black and bald? Or bald and black? You make the call! Points for the most attractive coiffure, both north and south, will win you bragging rights with your friends!

• Michael Sheen’s Intimidating Evil Laugh

Much like the vuvuzela app, this app doesn’t do much. It just repeats Michael Sheen’s amazing New Moon laugh over and over again. Frighten pets, annoy your friends!

• Xavier Samuel is Hot

This app offers a daily photo of Xavier Samuel to remind us of his hotness. That’s all. Do you really need more?


There's an app to remind you!

• Solomon Trimble was in Twilight

This app synchs with your calendar. Once a day, every day, at a randomly chosen time, an alert will pop up to remind you that once upon a time, Solomon Trimble was in Twilight. Seriously. He was an original Wolfpack member. And don’t you forget it!

• Buttcrack Santa Sings the Blues
  Since he couldn’t get an album deal, Buttcrack Santa now does a podcast. Accompanied only by his lonely blues guitar, he sings his original tunes with such catchy names as Animal Attack!, Hot Girls Suck (Your Blood, Not Anything Good), and Don’t Rock the Boat (There are Vampires Inside).

• Dakota Fanning Countdown Clock (AKA “The New Legal In Georgia”)

Most Twi-related crap is marketed for the females; this one is for the gentlemen. As advertised, this app will count down until February 23, 2012. The Runaways was very confusing for some gentlemen, thanks to Dakota and Kristen and their kissing, so in case a reminder is needed, this app is here to help!

Be watching your App Store for these and other fabulous Twilight releases, coming soon! Remember: TWILIGHT: There’s an app for that!

Love,
Freya

There’s an app for how awesome our vacation letter writers are! Make sure you’re following them and show your love!

What app would Big Daddy have? How about David Slade? What kind of app do WE here at LTT/LTR need?

And don’t forget to participate in While Moon was Gone!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

114 Commented

Caught in the act, the real Twilight stars stealing from the set!

Dear In Style Magazine,

I just happened to be reading a little something in your magazine  In Style about the Twilight cast and if you had to chance to gank something from the set what would it be…

Robert Pattinson – “I keep everything from the set. I’ve stolen all of Edward’s clothes.”

Elizabeth Reaser – “My original Esme bracelet. I’ve seen reproductions of it in stores, but I want to keep the one that I wear once we finish [filming]. It’s mine!”

Taylor Lautner – “All my character wears is jean shorts, so I’ll have to go with those. That’s my only option!”

Julia Jones – “Leah’s cut-offs!”

Kellan Lutz – “Emmett’s Jeep! I’ve wanted it since we shot the first movie. I keep saying that, but nothing’s happened. I’m still waiting!”

By our powers combined he is Captain Compassion!

Peter Facinelli – “Carlisle’s ring! It has the Cullen crest, the symbol of the whole family, on it. I’d like to take it home and keep it in a drawer somewhere. Once, I couldn’t get it off my finger, so it did go home with me.”

Tinsel Korey – “My relationship with everybody from set. We get along like a real family. Our relationship is special.”

Xavier Samuel – “Vampires dress really well, so it would have to be Riley’s jacket. When you run it’s a bit flamboyant, but it looks good. I recommend running in those jackets.”

Alex Meraz – “The shorts are all I’ve got! We keep using the same shorts but I keep getting bigger for each film, so the shorts keep getting tighter. By the end of the series, they’re going to be torn. Hey, sex sells and I’m glad to sell it!”

Sure, the main cast is important, we all know Rob is clepto or just super cheap and hates shopping, and of course the wolves want their jorts, who doesn’t?  And someone had to give the cheesy answer about friends (Tinsel!) but what about the real people in these movies! What about the people that REALLY matter in the Twilight world, what would THEY keep from the set?

• Dean – One of Jacob or Bella’s wigs. It’d be much easier to hide Rob in some of those shiteous wigs then a baseball cap and dirty clothes. Everyone’s looking for a dude in a hat and dirty clothes. No one’s looking for a dude with My Little Pony on his head.

• Big Daddy – that greasy bag of leftover Harry Clearwater Fish Fry from Twilight. I don’t even care if it’s a little moldy. That stuff looked good, it’s the whole reason I made Taylor bulk up and do the 2nd movie so I could have a chance at that famous fish fry.

• David Slade – “The step ladder from props”

• Solomon Trimble – “The name of that gaffer he met on set who worked part time at Subway. Solomon Trimble, Sandwich Artist. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

• Billy Burke – “Charlie handcuffs. Heh… heh… you know why.”

• Cathi Hardi – (said in the most creepy Cathi voice you can imagine) “That audition tape of Rob and Kristen from my bedroom where they kiss and we really see their hot, hot chemistry… OH WAIT I already have that! HA! Just thought I’d say it again in a national publication, it’s been at least a week since I last talked about it.”

I’ll trade you, Esme’s bracelet for 5 lbs

• Mike Welch – “I’m actually trying to lose something I gained from the set. Those 5 extra pounds around my face. Maybe I can give them to Christian Serratos, she needs some meat on her chicken bones.”

So as much as we love the main characters, can we not forget about the little people? The actors and people who REALLY made Twilight what it is today? Do we have to continue to blog for year about the genius of Eric Yorkie till someone like your magazine will know what we care what they’d steal from a set? Who cares from Rob or Taylor have to say about the inner works of their characters or who Kristen draws inspiration from. Give us crap answers from the folks that really matter.

Stealing the keys to Rob’s trailer,
Themoonisdown

What would you take from the set if you could? What would Buttcrack Santa take? Any other minor characters we need to know about?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

151 Commented

Hey Twilight Saga Unknowns, who ARE you?

Wait, you don't know who I am? I was in the made-for-tv movie "The Linda McCartney Story"

*Recently I received this email from our good friend Lula…*

Moon,

Today, while reading Sci-Fi magazine (don’t judge, you know my love of the Science Fiction), I discover an enormous, really languorous interview with Kristen Prout.

KRISTEN PROUT?

And then I see all these pics from Eclipse.  WTF?  Oh, OK…she’s playing Lucy. Wait?  Which backstory vampire is Lucy? Then she mentions Jackson (a-ha!  She’s part of Jasper’s past!) and how he’s amazing and super professional and how she loved working with him and that’s when I realized… I have no idea whom this girl is.  Until the article, I’d never heard her name.  She is adorable, but she looks like every Hollywood wannabe, even though she’s Canadian. BUT…
.

Why did this magazine devote an entire 3 page interview with this girl, who basically said nothing of interest in it?  I’d have rather read about Julia Jones…or freaking Xavier!
.

and
.

Would it be ridiculous to take bets on whether we think Jackson bedded her? OK, yes.  It would.  He loves him some blonde-headed Lucy.  Numerous times.
.

Hello…

first Boo-Boo and now Kristen Prout?  Please write a letter…”Dear Unknowns in Eclipse…WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE?”
.

xoxo,

Me

Alright, Lula… why not?

Who's that girl pushing Ashley out of picture? Why it's majorly important character HEIDI!

Dear Twilight Saga Unknowns (let’s widen the net shall we),

Who the hale are you people? My friend Lula brings up a great point. It’s like you’re the person at the High School reunion that’s talking to everyone yet no one actually knows or remembers you or can even find a picture of you in their old yearbook when they go home that night. Where did this person come from and why are they the life of the party now? This is you guys and we don’t understand.

Remember last summer when the casting of Heidi was made into a HUGE deal?! Yes, who would play the human “fisher” for the Volturi Vampires?” THIS IS not A BIG DEAL! (HIT IT!!) Would it be AnnaLynn McCord, would it be a Canadian unknown cast from Vancouver? Nope, it was a model name Noot Seer who ended up getting the part and then consequently appeared in a Glamour spread with actual above the line actors from the saga. Why? You had ONE LINE in New Moon!

BooBoo and his sister who's apparently attached to his hip at some Cupcake event

Then of course there’s poor BooBoo Stewart who seems to be caught in some sort of weird showbiz mom slash brother and sister “any publicity is good publicity” situation. Anytime I see a tweet from “mamarazzi” I imagine BooBoo’s mom as one of those moms from Toddlers and Tiaras who stands in the back and mouths the words and mimic the choreography their kid is supposed to be doing on stage. Poor, poor BooBoo. This kid’s been peddling his schtick harder than a whore at the end of the mouth trying to make rent. All those events and he didn’t even make it onto the Wolfpack version of the Eclipse movie poster. BURN. But still everywhere I look I see this kid, Bop Magazine’s up-and-coming teen stars, a TwiCon in Fargo, North Dakota, an autograph session in Vancouver (what DID he autograph I ask you!), and he’ll probably cut the ribbon at the grand opening of a Mimi’s Cafe in El Paso, Texas next week. Why not?

Then there’s the lady who will play Sue Clearwater, Jack Hudson as Royce King, a lady named Catalina Sandino Moreno who’s playing Maria, and about a billion others  and of course how can we forget Solomon Trimble? The original “Why the hell are you?” cast member.

NEVER FORGET. Hold on, what is GOldie Hawn doing with Sol Trimble? Was this an "Overboard" fan event?

Now I understand that being cast in a Twilight movie is sorta a big deal, but do you really need to hit the Twicon tours before the movie you’re in is actually out? Or do we need to hear your take on David Slade’s directing style or that 5 seconds you saw Rob in the catering tent and your resulting miscalculations of his personality as he made a PB&J sammy? No. As Peter Fachinelli wanted to tell the nomad vamps in Twilight: “slow your roll.” For serious.  However, if the Amazon Coven shows up at the opening of my mall’s Yankee Candle store, I’m gonna have more than words with someone and definitely a bunch of delicious candles.

Off to read that interview with the dude who is yet to be cast as Nahuel,
Themoonisdown

PS Ridiculous, Lula? Never. They defs got it on at least once, after a 100 Monkeys show when her ears were bleeding so bad she couldn’t understand whether he was asking her to go home with him or to the hospital. Needless to say Jackson’s hotel room does NOT have emergency medical equipment in it.

What do you think of all these random’s jumping on the bandwagon? Do you really want to read something about Jack Hudson or watch a video with Solomon Trimble? Ok, bad example I want to see EVERYTHING Solomon is in.

Don’t forget we’re running an LTT/LTR merch giveaway that’s open ALL WEEK to celebrate our brand new digs here. Make sure you leave a comment to be entered! And why not head over to the store now and figure out what you want!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

184 Commented