Dear Breaking Dawn (I still can’t believe I’m writing to you now. WOW, we’ve come a long way),
When casting news about the Denali clan hit the nets yesterday I had one response: THE ICE TRUCK KILLER is Eleazar?! And who the hale is Eleazar again?
Yes, for those of you who haven’t seen Dexter Season 1 I just spoiled it for you but seriously, if you haven’t seen it before you should. So of course I couldn’t remember who the heck Eleazar was and I thought if he’s been played by The Ice Truck Killer aka Christian Camargo than Eleazar must be a real creep, cause TITK (yup, we need an acronym already) is a total creep sandwich to the max. I’m going to spend the entire movie wondering if Deb will get away this time or if Dexter will figure out that Vampire’s don’t leave blood spatter patterns you can decifer. Ok, you all might just want to go ahead and add Season 1 of Dexter to your Netflix queue now because I will be referring to him as The Ice Truck Killer/Brian for the rest of eternity. Sorry Christian Camargo. Oh and welcome!
As far as the other folks, here’s who I care about…
MyAnna Buring – Tanya
Ok, is it just me or does she look like a cat woman? This casting must sting a bit for AnnaLynn since she’s had the look cornered for the last year. Poor thing, have Kellan get you a mammogram to make up for losing this part. Google also says she was in something called “Lesbian Vampire Killers.” Now, if Bill Condon liked the ladies I’d day he might have been doing some in depth “research” before the casting but since he likes the fellas, I’m gonna have to say Rob and TomStu had a hand in this one.
Girls gotten some mad hate on the interwebs already. I wonder if this is how Rob felt when it was announced he was Edward. Or maybe more accurately, I wonder if this is how Clare felt since Rob was probably too busy being drunk to care what 20 (it was only 20 back then) Twilight nerds on the internet thought of him.
Casey LeBow – Kate
Besides having a striking resemblance to a one BrookeLockart (but with blond hair) this girl is rumored to have been Ryan Gosling’s spring fling and for that we want to give her a high five but we’re too blinded by our own jealous rage to do it. I’m sure she understands.
Samantha the American Girl Doll – Renesmee
SIKE! (i wish). Word on the street is that Mackenzie Foy has been cast as Renesmee but I’m sure Summit has something up their sleeve to roll out the love child of Edward and Bella. So we’ll wait till we get the word from them before we come up with some more random shiz about her! But seriously, Samantha the American Doll, am I right?
I gotta say I’m excited to see how this all plays out what with the cat woman making the moves on Edward and BrookeLockart sneaking her way into the movie and them agreeing that Renesmee can only be played by a doll in a little hat and agreeing with us that BD needed a little action so they brought over the Ice Truck Killer from Dexter to make things interesting. Who wouldn’t watch this movie?!
For your googling pleasure here’s the rest: Carmen: Mia Maestro and Maggie Grace as Irina
SOOOOOoooooo feels like we’re finally heating up again in the twidom… slowly, they don’t want us to boil over before filming even begins, but what do you think??!! Agree/Disagree? Sad AnnaLynn got passed over as Tanya the catlady?
Tags: , American Girl Doll, Breaking Dawn, Brooke Lockhart, Casey LeBow, casting, Christian Camargo, Denali Coven, Dexter, Edward, Eleazar, Ice Truck Killer, MyAnna Buring, Renesmee, Ryan Gosling, Samantha, Tanya