Someone really loves Big Daddy Lautner

Dear Big Daddy Lautner,

We got this e-mail related to you last Friday when we featured you on one of the new Breaking Dawn Part 2 Posters:

How dare you old ass hags disrespect Taylor’s father like that by putting him on some damn poster. Are you bitches mad because he makes more money then you yeah that’s what it is. Or the fact that your husbands are lazy ass men that don’t do shit for a living.

Dear director of the Daniel Lautner Fan Club,

You’re right. It was so disrepsectful to feature Rob on a poster along with Big Daddy. Daniel deserves his very own features. Like this one we did a few years back of Daniel outside of his favorite restaurant:

or that time we artistically represented what Big Daddy dreams about during sporting events:

Or that one where we shared how Taylor & his dad demanded a tricked out trailer:

Or that time we superimposed a fish filet sammy over Taylor’s head:

We were wrong to include the infamous Daniel Lautner with that terrible Robert Pattinson. We hope you’re able to forgive us & are convinced of how much we really do love our favorite Twi cast member’s dad (well, tied to Dick Pattinson, followed closely by Mr. Stoner Stewart)

Love,
A couple of broke old hags with lazy ass men for husbands

It’s been awhile since we’ve gotten a hater good enough to share. This one really gave me cheer on Friday afternoon! Hope your holiday weekend (in the US!) was grand! XOXO -UC

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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What a difference a year makes – Taylor Lautner then and now!

One of these things is not like the other

Dear Taylor, (have I ever written JUST you?)

It seems like just yesterday that you were that little kid who played Jacob Black with the bad wig in Twilight. The same dude who looked like a nerd on the red carpet at the Twilight premiere with your popped collar and bad sonic-the-hedgehog hair. But boy, how times have changed. It doesn’t seem like a day goes by without some picture hitting the interwebs of you looking like a hot piece. Now I know we already border on the possibly inappropriate with you but we’re the same age as the chicks on your movie set, so no harm no foul, right? And well we’re moving to Georgia till February when all this is legal, anyway so don’t worry, Chris Hansen is alright with it. I asked.

The other day I was sending UC OLD pictures of you and we were laughing our faces off at dorky you were and then I started sending over some new ones and it struck me: MY what a difference a year makes… from popped collars to soaked suits in the pool, you’ve come a long way Taylor. And since I can’t get enough of charts and turning normal business tools into tools of “mass Twilight shenanigans,” I present you with the “Then and Now: Taylor Lautner, what a difference a year makes” time line…

Click to enlarge, it's HUGE (that's what she said)

Your life in a timeline… I especially enjoy the glimpse into the future circa 2049… I bet it’s like looking into a mirror for Big Daddy. So if you’re keeping track you can print this out to add to your Twilight business documents folder. You know the one next to that folder you keep your fanfic in at work. Yup, that one.

Take the cut for a little treat
Continue…

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New Level of dedication: Twilight Flow Chart

Dear Twilight,

Yesterday, UC and I were having a discussion about the Wolfpack ladies. UC kept confusing Tinsel Korey with Julia Jones and I was kept confusing Julia Jones with January Jones who she most certainly isn’t and it became clear: We needed a flow cart to remember all these new folks and how they’re all connected in the Twilight world. So I set out to create a master flow chart and as the day wore on (and on) and I remembered more and more connections and it become more of a circle flow chart, cause just like Rafiki tells us: it’s the circle of life and it moves us all.

And what came out looks a lot like a grade school project… next up book reports and a diorama of Bella’s room in a shoe box.

Yea, this is what you do with your spare time when you’re a Twilight blogger.

Twilight Dork of the Day Award Recipient/Life Time Achievement Nominee,
Themoonisdown

Enjoy this cause it took for darn near ever. Oh and click on it to open in a new window, cause it’s HUGE!

Clicky to enlarge and be amazed at my time wasting!

Um yea! If I missed anything TOO BAD! hahaha

Go enjoy a letter to Rob that rules!
Talk about this level or nerdiness in the forum!

Take the cut to see a special treat
Continue…

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to Rob and Twilight!

Dear Twi-Hards and LTT-ers –

A lot’s been said since yesterday about “Cab-gate 09”… which is what I’m now refering to the Rob was tapped by a cab incident that turned into the biggest non newstory, newstory to rock the Twi-world in… well… days. In a matter of minutes rumors were swirling, petitions were being signing, kidneys being donated and Obama issuing a statement. Well maybe it didn’t go that far, but folks did start up various campaigns and trending topics to get the word out about everything from: “Respect Rob’s Space” to “Protect Rob” which is all fine and well because crazies need to keep their distance from Rob.

But what really got me thinking was what about the other folks in the Twi-dom? What about the other actors? Their family? Their friends? Can we ask people to respect Rob but leave them out? Must we be forced to worry that Solomon Trimble will get mobbed at an Oregon Walmart while he’s buying some Alberto VO5 hot oil treatments for his luscious locks?!

NO! I simply will not stand for it! I MUST know that ALL people associated with Twilight are also respected. So to jump on the bandwagon I’ve created our very own LTT “Respect” campaign with an LTT twist, of course!

Won’t you join us?

Themoonisdown

It’s easy to worry about Rob since he’s such a big celeb, but what about the “little people” in this scenario? What about the Cabbie? I say we need to respect the cabbie! Stop stepping out into the street with your big feet, umbrellas and security detail. This guy’s just trying to do his job ferrying people around the city and we’re getting in his way by hitting HIS cab with our hips. Respect the cabbie!

Though Buttcrack Santa isn’t a canon character from the Twilight series, HE DIED! Respect him! He died for our laughs. He died for those little bottles. He died to have momma say didn’t know how to make a kitty meow! RESPECT BUTTCRACK SANTA!

What about Marty the Bananager for 100 Monkeys? We give him cheesy shirts to wear, don’t include him on our 100 Monkeys canvas totes, and grind with him on the dance floor. He’s a person too! Give Marty his personal space and save your sexy moves for his bandmates. They signed up for this, Marty is just doing his job and can’t be distracted by our beauty. Respect The Bananager!

Taylor’s a level-headed 17 year old who seems to be enjoying the attention he’s getting by playing Jacob. My real concerns lie with Big Daddy Lautner. How’s he taking the fame? Is he still able to hit the McDee’s drive through at midnight for a late night Filet o Fish without getting mobbed? Respect Big Daddy!

We all spend a lot of time pining for Rob and swooning over Kellan’s wifebeaters but what about the supporting actors? Have we devoted as much time to Mike Newton? Will we ever love his “golden retriever” like qualities enough to finally open letterstomikenewton.com? Will we ever post about his quest to save ladies boobs? Respect Mike Welch!

Read about the best real life Rob stalker and see the Rob’s new security at LTR
RESPECT The Forum!

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The Wolfpacks 2nd favorite place to hang out

Bom chicka bow woooowwww

Dear Wolfpack Boys-

First off can I just say “DAAAAAAANNNMMM Gina!” You guys are such Panty Rufflers* (copyright ltt and kristen!) for doing this to us! Shirtless, abs, tattoos, hot boys! But NO Jacob?? UGGHH you’re killing me!

I was having one hellacious day until this picture was sent to me and all was once again right with the world. Time and time again I have been impressed with this casting and I’ll say it again, you are restoring my faith in the Twilight franchise: Wolfpack and  Chris Weitz! Keep it up and I will be naming my unborn, unconceieved child after you. Little Christopher Wolf Moon. Has a ring to it, doesn’t it?

But where were we? This is a letter to the Wolves after all.

Wolves… guess what?! Today we are unveiling the long awaited, long prayed for Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob (you know that one skinny nerdy dude) FORUM!!!!!!! That’s right we now have our very own place dedicated to shooting the shiz every day! So what does that mean for you boys? I’m so glad you asked…

1. We have topics dedicated to talking about the books, the movies, the characters and you guys the actors!

2. Wanna tell Team Edward to suck it, by flexing your manly muscles and shoulder tattoos?! Yup, we got a place for that too.

3. Wanna be 2nd hand embarrassed by bad fan art, bad videos and more? Wanna post a video you guys just made of your daily ab buster workouts mashed up with you guys tearing up an Edward cutout put to music by Wolfmother? Yup, this is the place!

4. Has Daddy Filet o Fish told you guys some awesome gossip about Taylor and Wolfgirl? SPILL YOUR GUTS and we’ll try to debunk the rumors with the help of our awesome Moderators: Jbell, Kristen and Calli (Twi-theater mistress)!

So really, what are you waiting for? Stop staring at yourselves cause you’re so daaaaaamn hot and get over there! But don’t forget to comment here first!

THE Forum: http://letterstotwilight.com/forum

SHHHHHH Team Wolfpack 4 life!
Themoonisdown

PS don’t worry Wolfies we’ll still be writing Letters to you and especially that nerdy wolf here and to that dork over at Letters to Rob! This is just a fun place to hang out, post fun stuff and shoot the shiz!

*Panty Ruffle = female version of Cock Tease. Love this with us! We do!!!!!

Pic source: New Moon Movie via TwiCrack via USAToday! Whew, that was a lot.

UPDATE: thanks to everyone for being patient and giving us a chance to work kinks out with the forum. nothing can ever be simple or easy right? but is anything that is, worth it? Hmmm…

stick with us and give the board a chance once we have things in working order. there are plenty of people to help out if you don’t understand something or want help!

we really appreciate you all keeping an open mind!

THANKS!! we <3 you!

XO!

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