We wish you a Cullen Christmas

Dear LTTers,

Merry Christmas Eve! If you don’t celebrate Christmas, merry time of year when everyone says “Merry Christmas” to you and you look at them and say, “But I don’t celebrate Christmas” and they stare back at you, not understanding, in a santa hat!

Moon and I have objected ourselves to 2nd-hand embarrassment, yet again, to wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Love,

UC & Moon

After the jump, read all the wonderful lyrics penned by @Brookelockart, Moon & myself. Print them out and have a family sing-a-long around the dinner table tomorrow! Continue…

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Rereading New Moon – Chapters 1-3

Dear LTT-ers,

To prepare for the November 20th release of New Moon I begin rereading the book this week to refresh my memory on the details and such. I mean it’s been since like summer when I read New Moon last and it was time to reach for one of my favorite books in the saga! It’s funny, if you asked my this time last year what was the order of my favorite Twilight books, I definitely wouldn’t have listed New Moon near the top but as with all relationships your tastes and ideas grow and mature with time like some fine Vampire wine (no, seriously there really is Vampire wine. Hot Topic is pissed they didn’t think of it first).

Currently, I’ve read chapters 1-3 (yea super far, I know!) but I’m currently in the chapter “The End” can you blame me?! I HATE this chapter. Stupid Edward… stupid Bella for not chasing his dumb ass. Stupid me for talking to characters in a book.

Here let me examine you with my mouth...

Last night I read chapter 2 “Stitches” aka “Happy Birthday, Jasper’s hungry!” wherein the well meaning Cullen’s throw an ungrateful Bella a birthday party. Even if you hate attention, really what can you complain about? Your boyfriends awesome family LOVES you, throws you an amazing little bash at their “palatial pad” in the forest, buy you gifts, have a cake and multiple plates (even when they don’t eat food) and all for Bella to be surly about. I seriously, don’t GET it. But anyway, we have the infamous papercut moment, Jasper nom nom nom-ing on Bella and then we come to the scene where Carlisle stitches Bella up and gives her some much needed back story on the Volturi and about his decision to change Edward. While he’s stitching her up, Bella comments about how blood doesn’t bother him and how he helps so many people by being a doctor which got me to thinking…. Sure Carlisle may be able to resist the scent of blood after all these years, but patients would most certainly notice his ICE COLD hands! Think about it, when Bella touches Edward’s hand in the car in Twilight it’s one of the major deciding points for her that he’s a Vampire (besides that super helpful book she bought in the Port Angeles bookstore) AND while he’s stitching her up she even notes how cold his hands are. Now imagine if it’s time for your favorite yearly check up and the doctor used his ice cold hands (even IN gloves) to examine you? Now tell me you wouldn’t wonder why was using icicles to check for a hernia and swollen glands?

Dr. McIcy hands at your service!

And now on to the god awful, gut wrenching “The End” chapter.

Somebody hold me!
Themoonisdown

So are you rereading New Moon to get your in the mood? Or are you refraining in hopes to enjoy it even more and not nit pick? Anyone had a doctor with ice cold hands? Was it Carlisle?

PS tomorrow I’ll be seeing a pre screening of Rob’s movie Remember Me!!! You know the one that’s not due out till next March? Yup, I’ll be seeing it and reporting back here on what I thought, watch our Twitter for details too! (Spoiler free details). I guess I finally know wtf that movie’s about after all!

PPS My good pal Katelin aka the rad girl who let me borrow her copy of Twilight over a year ago attended the press junket in LA this weekend. Read her account of meeting, well, um EVERYONE at her blog: Goregous Footsteps and thank her because without her insistance we wouldn’t all be reading this crap every day! 😉

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum LTR Twitter

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Is Twilight about real vampires?

Real Vampires. No Thank you

Dear Twilight-lovers,

For today’s Tuesday Twilosophy, let me set the scene with a conversation I recently had with my husband:

Me: What movie are we watching?
Him: Interview with a Vampire since you’ve never seen it.
Me: No! I can’t! I didn’t finish the book
Him: You never will
Me: Well…. I don’t really like vampires….
Him: (gives me ‘the look.’ Let me define this look as one which says “are you f*cking kidding me? You’ve spent the last 7 months of OUR lives devoted to writing about them daily”)
Me: Well, I don’t like real vampires…

It’s true. I don’t. I never once read about a vampire or watched a movie with a vampire before Twilight. My only connection to the world of vampires before August of 2008 was Count Chocula cereal. And after Twilight was recommended to me and I bought the first book without knowing anything about it because I was desperate for a quick read for my beach vacation, I read those now infamous lines on the back of the cover:

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire.

And I stopped. “Vampire? What the hell was Jess thinking recommending this book to me?” And I continued:

Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Okay the last line peaked my interest a little bit. But not enough to overlook the vampire part. So what did I do? Yep- you got it- I read Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book two instead.

Read on about how I don’t like Vampires after the jump Continue…

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A birthday party with the Cullens

Dear Moon,

Tonight, the Cullen family cordially invites you over to their home to celebrate your birthday.  I know you don’t like surprises, so I snooped around to see what gifts the family was going to surprise you with and I have some advice:

Carlisle is going to let you get any medical procedure at 10% off (Tues-Fri. only) although he is willing to “change you” for free. He also offered to introduce you to his son….

Esme promises to hug you often, but more gentle than any other member of the family. And if you were to hit if off with that son that Carlisle mentioned, she is offering free advice on being intimate with a vampire…

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Edward promises to lend you his jacket for the evening as well as hitch your leg over his hip.

If that’s not good enough, you can take a spin in his volvo- I hear the seats go all the way back, if you know what I’m saying. (This is where Esme’s advice will come in handy!) Remember to take your birth control pill!

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Rosalie has graciously offered to stay out of your way for most of the evening. She also has promised to keep her jealousy of you under wraps.

And that pesky little girl who follows Edward around? Bella something…? Well, Rose promises to be a fake lesbian with her for the night so you and Edward have some alone time (Wait.. is the fake lesbian theme in the Twilight Saga at all? Cuz the lines between twi-reality & our blog-reality are blurring…)

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Bear hugs are Emmett’s specialty, and he loves giving them out. Watch out though- he might get a little frisky and try to turn them into “special hugs.”

After your done with his hugs, ask him to read you his favorite Bible story- the one about Samson.  He can’t get enough of Bible characters with superhuman strength!

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Besides Edward, Alice is going to be the best thing about your birthday party! Not only will Alice tell you whether or not you’ll need that ‘intimacy with a vampire’ advice from Esme, but she’ll let you know what other presents Edward is surprising you with (ya know, just so you know how much you need to thank him)

Not sure what to wear tonight? No prob! Alice will be at your house 1 hour early with 2 bags full of high-end designer options. Plus she’ll do your hair & your make-up…..! You’re gonna look so smokin’ at this party that Rosalie won’t stick by her promise to keep her jealousy in check- plus Emmett & Jasper are gonna be begging Edward for details on your two…. (no pressure…)

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Uh, Jasper won’t be there. He isn’t invited to birthday parties anymore…. the last one didn’t go so well…

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Enjoy your night! Happy birthday! Remember.. I’m the first to know all hook-up with Edward details!

XO,
UnintendedChoice

PS: See what Rob & The Quad did for Moon’s big day over at Letters To Rob

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