Breaking it down: The Font and I talk Taylor, bare feet and DOWN THERE!

Dear Taylor,

Sometimes I end up talking to my guy friends about you and not because they want to but because I commandeer the conversation and we go there. I apologize in advance for talking about some sensitive subjects for both you, Jacob and whatever’s going on beneath the Jorts.

(suck it Chris Hanson!)

A first… breaking it down with me and The Font

Take this invite and shove it!

The one where I totally commandeer the convo
The Font: Moon
Moon: The Font…..
*lots of time passes*
Moon: i take it you saw the new jacob picture but you’re too shy to bring it up?? do you want me to start??
………………
Moon: ok… running barefoot?! wtf? am i right??? just because white bread vanilla snoozville bella and edward sent you an F You! wedding invite doesnt mean you need to risk a cold or worse yet needing a tetanus booster when you inevitably step on a nail from running without shoes.
Moon: you send them a F You! gift from their registry and by gift from their registry i mean a flaming bag of crap thrown onto the cullens front porch!!

What should really happen at Edward & Bella's wedding

Moon: or you streak the wedding, dump a bucket of blood on bella a la “carrie” then yell “they’re all vampires you idiots” at the crowd of dumbass townies who couldnt recognize a werewolf if it phased in front of them……
(it’s your turn to jump in…. anytime now….)
.

The one where he finally gives in and jumps in
The Font: i go get a hot pocket and come back, and this is what happens?!
The Font: why is he BAREFOOT? is that a werewolf thing? or he does not have the twenty seconds to put on shoes?
Moon: i guess when you’re a werewolf in love with a vampire’s girl, pithy things like footwear doesnt matter. if he gets hurt it heals within minutes anyway so i guess he thinks fuck it, try to kill me tetanus!!!

Not exactly the Sports Authority

The Font: still. just for COMFORT’S sake
Moon: well maybe he’s realized it’s not worth it to lose another pair of shoes, because he’ll just get more pissed off, phase and the shoes will shread to pieces anyway. it’s a shitty economy still. he’s being economical and im sure new running shoes arent exactly cheap at newtons outfitters. its not like sports authority. they gotta put mike through community college somehow.
.

The one where we discuss Jorts vs Stretchy Pants and modesty

Official uniform of the wolfpack and everyone in our neighborhood

The Font: aren’t there stretch shoes for these kinds of things? the hulk always has stretch pants
Moon: you’d think thatd be the way they’d go, but they like the denim jorts. hipster wolves?
The Font: let’s talk about THAT! if they have JEANS on, how are those not ripping? jeans are not exactly known for their give
Moon: ok, here it is… (twi nerd of the day award) they either take them off and stash them into the woods before the phase, or they shread off their bodies. thats pretty much how the explain it in the books and movies. in the books, apparently, they tie an extra pair of shorts or whatever around their legs, in the movies they stash them in the woods
The Font: so concerned with modesty, these wolves

Dude follow the cut, we talk about naked Jacob and SO much more after this
Continue…

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The Font writes a letter to the universe

While we do the “mans” job and Go Fishin’, The Font from the LTT Podcast does a girlie thing & writes an LTT

Oh hey there internet!

It’s The Font, your favorite Twi-misanthrope. So listen. Moon left the country or something. And because I am part of the LTT family, I am legally required to write some sort of letter. It’s true. It’s in the bylaws.

But here’s the thing internet. I really don’t like Twilight that much. I mean, I don’t know if you know this, but it’s pretty much for girls. Seri

SO! In honor of Moon’s vacation to wherever she is (Thailand? Rhode Island?), I am going to write a list of things that would make Twilight more awesome.

Let's not talk & just sparkle

1)  Vampire Hunters.

Think about it! How much more awesome would everything be if when Edward and Bella are whining about how sparkly they are or whatever, a bunch of dudes show up with flaming crossbows! And then Jacob has to choose between letting Edward get super-murdered and saving the man his favorite lady loves! Oh hey look! Actual conflict!

Or what if they killed one of Edward’s friends, and somehow Bella was responsible? Also, could you kill these guys if they’re trying to kill you? What is the moral code of a soulless vampire?

Hey look! Conflict again!

2)  Way More Murders.

Seriously.  Everyone survives these books. It is a VAMPIRE versus a WEREWOLF. And they are teenagers! With all the hormones! If I had super strength and/or crazy murderous killing powers at 16, and some vampire was trying to take my lady, shit would be ON like Donkey Kong!

And that’s not to say anything about all the killer vampires trying to murder Bella all the time. None of them were like, oh, why don’t I kill her parents and shake her shit up! Bella would probably be dumb enough to go to the funeral. Murder  central!

Now that's funny!

3)  More comedy.

No one says anything funny in any of this.  Think of a funny thing in these books. Seriously. I dare you. I mean, you can say funny things ABOUT Twilight. (Some might say you could write an entire blog about it.)  But like, couldn’t Jacob be funny?  I mean, there is some comedy in the fact that he is a werewolf, right?  Like, no one ever turned into a werewolf and messed with people just for kicks?  I mean, that would pretty much be the greatest locker room prank ever.

Okay listen.  I am sorry for making fun of the thing that you guys love.  I know I do it all the time.  But I had to write a letter!  They made me.  I still love you, internet.  Even if I am weirdly distant.

Seriously, don’t murder me.

The Font

The Font is so paranoid. So what do you think? Does he have some good suggestions? Or are they as lame as his paranoia? Obviously he doesn’t share our views- but what about the views of the guys in YOUR life!?

Please love Moon & think of her while she’s gone!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

75 Commented

Getting Twilosophical with Stephenie Meyer

Dear LTTers,

Week after week now we’ve given you the goods on our interview with Stephenie Meyer. We’ve shocked you with our “Eff, Kill, Marry (Leg Hitch, Imprint, Hunt)” question, we’ve made you laugh with our Leg hitch picture and we’ve proved we’re the best of all time with our smooth, cool demeanor- even when she told us she reads LTT every day (Hey Steph!)

But we know you’ve been DYING to know details about the questions we asked about Bree & Fred and the connection between Diego & Bree and why Stephenie choose to let Fred escape but kill both Bree & Diego. Oh wait, you don’t want to hear about that? Oh that’s right- you would have killed us had we asked crap like that and then made you listen to it.

However, our interview wasn’t all fun & games- we did have some serious questions for Steph. I mean…. how could we look at ourselves if we didn’t get Twilosophical with the creator of it all?

Today’s discussion topics:

• Redemption in Twilight (hollaaaaa) & what happened to Bree? Vampire Heaven? H-E-Double-Hockey Sticks?
• What did Steph’s kids watch on TV when she was writing Twi?
• What makes Stephenie want to kill Nacho Pancho
• Edward’s evolution throughout the saga
• When Nacho got HOT(ter) & whether or not Mr. Choice is awkward around kids

LTT Interviews Stephenie Meyer Set 4 by letterstotwilight

Yeah… you heard that right- Stephenie said “The Font” and called them “Your Unicorns” Wanna hear that again? We do too:

The Font, right?

SM The Font by letterstotwilight

Your Unicorns:

SM Unicorns by letterstotwilight

You know that’s not the last time you’re gonna hear those audio clips!

Phew- that was way Twilosophical for today. How ’bout I remind you that the marjority of the interview was like this:

Lots and lots and lots of laughter (and way weird faces from UC and Moon almost kneeing Stephenie in the face)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Catch all our other interview recaps

Send in stuff that made you think of Moon for “While Moon was Gone“

BIG LTT Thanks to:
Samuel from Twifans who did a TON of audio editing. HE RULES!!!!

Legal Stuff:
All photographs are owned by Stephenie Meyer and there may be no copying or other exploitation of such photographs without the express prior written permission of Stephenie Meyer, c/o Jodi Reamer jreamer@writershouse.com
All Photos: Julie Adamson

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

49 Commented

Moon & UC’s Excellent Adventure Vol. 2: The Stephenie Meyer Interview

Dear LTTers,

UC POV

4:00 am, somewhere in Pennsylvania, an alarm clock is set to go off.
Silence
4:15 am, somewhere in PA, a back-up alarm clock is set to go off
Silence
4:30 am, somewhere, a “you’re an idiot if you’re not up by now, but I’ll set this just in case’ alarm clock is set to go off
Silence

Never drive faster that your guardian Larry can fly

6:30 am, Mr. Choice awakes to find me still in our bed, panic tears & wailing ensue. I rush, with teeth brushed (not hair) & no make-u applied, to the airport 1 hour away to try to catch a flight that leaves in ½ hour. After being told there are no more LA flights with room, oh wait, we found 1 seat in first class for $1500, oh no- sorry that flight won’t get you in until 7 pm, oh wait, just kidding we found one seat on the next flight to LA, I arrive in LA only 2 hours later than I was supposed to. Crisis Averted! I attribute it to one thing and one thing only- Larry411. The Twitter “celebrity” was on my flight and I feel as thought the universe knew that having me & Larry, two of the most important Twilight people EVER, on the plane was a necessity. (Yeah, it’s going to be awkward next time I run into him in Philly after I tweet him today showing him this picture I took while sitting 2 seats down from him, trying to work up the nerve to say “Hi, I’m UC, I like Twilight” but deciding against it b/c snot was pouring out of my nose due to previous crying spell.)

Moon POV

Being woken up at 5am by about 20 text messages is never a good thing. Unless the person sending them is Robert Pattinson looking for a booty call. This was not the case Thursday morning.

Since UC’s 2390429034 alarms failed and she missed her flight, I spent those extra hours running around doing errands, finding a blasted voice recorder so we could immortalize the interview forever and ever and make Stephenie Meyer saying “2nd hand embarrassed” (oh yes, she did!) our outgoing voice mail message.

After fetching UC from LAX we busted a groove over to Westwood so we could meet up with Twifans and Twilight Series Theories for lunch, which was deeeeeeeeeeeeelicious. And of course we debated what we thought would happen during the interview which was pretty much us saying we weren’t about to stay on topic (ie Bree and Eclipse).

*thinking* holy crap holy crap holy crap what are we gonna ask?!

So the countdown to SM time had begun and we hadn’t pow wow-ed about our potential questions for the NEXT day. So of course we ran down to the pool to get our sun on, which was conveniently behind a building thus making us shiver, and run through questions and potential scenarios. While we pondered what our first question would be: Jorts vs Tweed or Big Daddy vs Dick Pattz, some of the other sites came up to talk about how they thought it would go down and some of their potential questions. And well, you know us, we’re not exactly rules followers or the kind of people who want to know, in detail, what happened in Edward’s mind on page 78 so we got a bit spooked. Ok, we freaked!

It's everywhere!! We can't escape!

UC: You guys really put on the pressure! We knew that if we went in there asking when Fred’s birthday was (May 17, 1984, btw) you’d kill us. And rightfully so. We started having these joint, day-time nightmares of us asking a funny question and Stephenie saying, “I refuse to answer unless you somehow turn that really hilarious joke into a question about the intricacies of Bree’s life.” (If you think for one second I actually know what Fred’s birthday is, you’re fired as an LTT reader)

Moon: So we called an emergency dinner of the Los Angeles branch of the LTT family. We needed to be talked down by The Font and White Yorkie. Over sushi of course. Well, we ate sushi and the Font watched the Lakers and White Yorkie bailed on our asses.

UC POV

Since this was my first time meeting the guys, I’ll jump in to report that #1 they are huggers, #2 The Font wore some sort of 7 year old boys’ comic book or teenage-mutant ninja turtle t-shirt and #3 White Yorkie has action figure boxes on his bedroom walls. I assumed they were from Action-Figure Edward, but I didn’t ask.

The guys TOTALLY got us pumped up. They made us laugh, they reminded us that we’re not expected to be like any other site but ourselves & threatened to never do another LTT podcast or even SPEAK to us again if we weren’t absolutely cool. Oh, and they told us we better make Stephenie laugh.

Picture of us suitable for hanging next to your family members (that's what the note said!)

Later that night, after ordering a bottle of water from room service & being served Evian like it was Don Perignon, we wrapped our gifts for Stephenie, Moon finished up 2 mixed CDs she made her (Yes- she rules), and I said “I’m so tired I think I’m going to die” about 3,000 times.

OH NO IT'S TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!

Moon: And when we got in bed we got Twilosophical & talked about how we just wanted to be true to ourselves and to the blog. If the interview was going to be lame and controlled, we were still going to TRY to ask the questions we wanted and all the LTTers wanted to have answered!

THE BIG DAY (after the jump!) Continue…

302 Commented