The beginning of the end

Dear Twilight,

Last week I hopped on to my go to source for Twilight news (besides Twilight FB which is my go-to place for the opportunity to respond to news with comments like “I BET ROBSTEN REALLLY LIKES THIS NEWS STORY” (all in caps, of course)) and something struck me.

It struck me once with this headline from March 23rd:

Breaking Dawn Filming Completed of the Swan House, Deconstruction Begins

I snuck on the set & got this picture for you guys

Then it struck me with THIS headline, too:

Breaking Dawn Filming News: Jamie Campbell Bower Has Completed His Breaking Dawn Filming!

Bower is on to bigger & better, bitches


Then I read an article where Rob mentioned the end of Breaking Dawn (and have since forgotten which article it was since it was such a horrible thought) and I basically had a bad week. But 2 strong cocktails Wednesday night, beer & wine at work after a 14 hour event, plus 5 glasses of wine at dinner on Friday AND Saturday nights helped. But now that I’m sober (read: currently drinking 1 glass of red) and doing some research on what I missed last week, I’ve been STRUCK with this tweet yesterday from Kiowa Gordon:

WRAP? The END? These are words I don’t want to hear associated with my beloved Twilight saga. This is like reading the final page of Breaking Dawn all over again. This is like taking the last “leg hitch” picture with Stephenie Meyer. This is like Rob turning his back and walking away whenever I stalk see him at a work event (“Work” for me here on LTT/LTR. Not work for him. He likes it better when he sees me peeking through the bushes on his off-time) And the Twi-cast has the nerve to throw a PARTY for the “Wrap?” And since Kiowa called it the “final” Party, I guess we can assume there were MULTIPLE EVENTS “celebrating” this horrible time in all of our lives? Who celebrates tragedy? Who celebrates the DEATH of something you love?

But what has STRUCK me since I read the first whisper of the inevitable end is that the end is coming whether I’m ready for it or not. Which I’m not. I mean.. the END? It’s not like this Breaking Dawn shoot has been like Vancouver shoots of the past- we haven’t had the Father-Son trips to Olive Garden (Did we make that up or did they ever actually DO that?). Rob didn’t get lost in front of a church. There haven’t been any rumors about Nikki Reed freaking out about Robsten, late at night (although Perez Hilton posted a pretty great rumor about a fight between Ashley Green & Kristen Stewart!) and Bill Condon has turned out to be quite dull as compared to Chris Weitz & David Slade. But still.. THE END? No! Never! What will I do after THE END? And I don’t just mean “What will I write about on LTT after THE END?” (But I kinda mean that too) I just mean….. The Twilight saga & the shooting of its movies has been a part of my life for YEARS  now. Literally YEARS. And now… it’s over?  Sniff….

There are going to be lots of moments where we discuss “THE END” considering we have a lot of ends coming up- the end of Bella as a human; the end of Taylor Lautner’s relationship with whatever that girl’s name is that he’s dating now; the end of Chris Weitz responding to obnoxious, ridiculous questions from the fandom; the end of Ashley Green’s career; the end of the 100 Monkeys; the end of Kellan Lutz’s heterosexuality; the end of me going on about the end, but today I just want to be sad for a minute. About this Twilight milestone. Because while it means we’re one step closer to another movie and seeing Edward Cullen sexytimes and how in the world the movie makers will interpret the Jacob/Renesmee story-line without Chris Hansen arresting everyone who buys a movie ticket, it means that it’s all coming to a close. And I don’t know about you- but I’m not ready to say good-bye quite yet.

Don’t leaveeeeeeeeee me, Twilight!

What do you think about the END of Breaking Dawn filming? Does it make you sad? Do you think we’ll have enough to keep us entertained until the next movie comes out?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

176 Commented

LTT Reader encounter in Baton Rouge

A few days ago we got a letter unlike any we have received yet in this filming cycle: From someone who actually has SEEN the cast in Baton Rouge. Yes, they are actually there. Even I was convinced that those cast pictures from the other day were just staged pictures sent to us from Stephenie just to rub it on our faces our that she was hanging on the set, hiding in Rob’s trailer, eating Taylor’s meat patties and we weren’t. Turns out, I was wrong:

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Green screen where they are filming TSBD in Baton Rouge.

I’m in Baton Rouge for a conference (they were really convinced after I suggested the location because “it’s more affordable and saving the extra money adds to our bottom line at the end of year”!) and have had the awesome privilege of hanging out with a number of the Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn cast. *Not Robsten. Damn.* But I have pictures to prove that they are actually here in Louisiana! I was with Erik Odom (Who? I know! He’s Peter, nomad- Jasper’s friend), Michael Sheen, and some others.

I read LTT all the time and also was curious about the lack of BR photos available. The thing is they really are blending in like regular people down here. (Like someone even thought I was Bella, told me to get on set & into bed with “Edward!” I didn’t ask questions) It’s crazy to imagine, but now that I’ve seen it myself I understand why the locals are keeping it quiet.

They are just nice people and you feel bad for interrupting them to be “that crazy Twihard” that has spotted the Twilight star. And now needs a picture… Or 3… They are just working, and have the same 24 hours in a day that we all do. I saw them in the lobby walking around and felt odd stopping them to say hi. It took me a day to speak to one. When I did he, was super nice and introduced me to everyone. It was epic.

But Erik, and the rest were SO NICE, I could not bring myself to go nuts tweeting his immediate locations for all the wild followers to know. I feel like it would ruin their experience here. They seem to love Baton Rouge and the people here.

Erik Odom, plays Peter the Nomad Vampire who is Japer's friend. Erik was such a sweetheart, he introduced me to the group of others there and then took a picture with me. We talked for a while and he introduced me to "Bill" who is my official "BR" tour guide. He was giving me pointers on where to eat, etc. and now we are bff's 🙂

Just thought you may want to know about my encounter this weekend. I was at the Tsunami restaurant when Rob and the guys were there. The opportunity for picture sniper fan wasn’t there since I was with my professional industry peers who had no idea. Sort of regret my lack of guts, but then again… I don’t know. Career reputation management crisis : Stop the press, don’t look at me, I am now going to run and take a crazy rare Rob picture opportunity?
I’m still kicking myself.

We were eating at a restaurant and the vampires were sitting at the table across from us. I thought I'd sneak a shot and fake like I was taking a picture of the sushi we were sharing. Michael Sheen was in the group but I'm not sure of the others. They were Twi Cast for sure.

Jaime Campbell Bower, Me and Michael Sheen - I was so nervous to ask but once I did, then I had the nerve to talk with Erik. 🙂

I need to go on work trips more often!


Love your story, Stephenie! THANKS for sharing it & for representing the NORMAL twilight fans out there! Also you’re adorable. Both Moon & I agreed. AND I have to admit to the rest of you that I added the things in the parenthesis into Stephenie’s story. I feel like I need to confess that in case she wants to share this with any of the people that were with her this weekend :):)

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

123 Commented

That Bree book

Read me.. Or else I'll turn creepier

Dear Stephenie,

I feel really weird writing you about That Bree book since I’m going to be talking to you about it in person next week (AH) By the way, did you just hear that? That was the sound of thousands of LTT readers remembering “That Bree book” came out this weekend. Pretend you didn’t hear that and that all of them were at their favorite book store at the butt crack of dawn Saturday morning.

Anyway, my overall observation about That Bree book (I’ll be honest, I have no idea what the real title is and I totally don’t feel like looking it up at this current moment) is that all fans of Twilight should read it. When talking to a friend who hasn’t read it, she said:

Friend: UC, I’m not one of your blog readers, so don’t be diplomatic with me. Should I really read it?

to which I responded

UC: Yes! I mean it. You’re a Twilight fan & it’s an entertaining read. Do it.

I’m not getting paid to say that. Unless you plan to hand me a check when I see you next week (AH). By the way, when I told my dad aka boss that I was skipping town for 2 days just one week before leaving for a week to go to LA for Eclipse craziness he said, “Well, honey, that sounds like a great opportunity. Are they paying you?” To which I laughed. I mean, hello?!! I’d pay YOU to interview you (wait- maybe not. Don’t take me seriously and ask for a check when I see you next week (AH)) So I politely said, “No- the opportunity to meet a hero is enough payment.” And he responded, “You should call them back & say you’ll only do that if they give you $100,000.” He was serious.

Sigh.. remember when I wasn't a vampire and was just a regular, boring girl?

Anyway, your fans SHOULD read That Bree book because it’s great to read something new from you after such a long time. Plus it’s an easy read. I blew through it in 2 sittings- took me 3 hours tops. Not to mention the introduction you include is just win. It really made me excited to meet you. Like, you actually care still. And that’s super refreshing after the rumors & gossip we’ve heard surrounding Eclipse. We thought Kristen was the only one left who cared so much.

Without giving anything away (though there’s not much to give away- Bree dies, guys) here are some of my thoughts on the book.

  • It feels so young. Maybe that’s your ability to be in the shoes of a 15 year old & think and write as she would, but Twilight never felt this young. In fact it wasn’t until I was done the saga that I even knew it was a Young Adult series. (Finding the books on the shelf next to The Goosebumps Series wasn’t a dead giveaway to me, apparently) Or maybe it’s the lack of Edward as that character we want so badly we don’t care if an 8 year old made him up.
  • Diego, a vampire friendly with Bree, who prefers the flavor of the humans living south of the border (that is, until he comes across Tequila Tomas in Forks) said “Let’s DO THIS” on page 56! Was that borrowed from Mel Mel Rosenberg? Or was that a shout out to us LTTers? Either way, High-five for that brilliant line!
  • Once, somewhere on a page I forgot to save, you said “organism.” It took me 3 reads through the sentence before I realized Bree was not, in fact, having an orgasm. Did you put that in there to remind us that we’ve been reading too much fanfic in your writing absence?
  • Um, Fred? Really? A vampire named Fred? And then there’s Diego!? Who are THEY named after? Did you and Nacho get a fight one night & to get back at him you named him after your first two boyfriends at BYU? Were all the good vampire names taken? PLUS the characters were teenage runaways in their human days. Last time I was on the streets and a Philadelphia flash mob passed me by, I didn’t hear any 16 year olds yelling for “Fred” to come help them snatch a pocket book from a Granny. Just sayin.’ “Spencer” may have been a better choice for the American while “Jose” is always a safe spanish choice.
  • Hey! I'm Ed- I mean Fred

    Gah- I miss the Cullens. There I was, just enjoying a little story about a vampire I forgot existed and BAM- suddenly the Cullens appear! I must’ve had the biggest, goofiest smile on my face. The gang was all back together again! There was Carlisle, Alice, Jasper with all his scars and the Red Head- wait what? The RED HEAD? I know that Edward is described as having reddish-brown hair by Bella, but Bree kept calling Edward THE RED HEAD. I didn’t know who she meant until the ending when Bree thought,

    “Little did the Cullens know, I had a vampire super power of my own. I knew the future- the WHOLE future- even more than Alice. If they had saved me from the Volturi, I can promise you I would’ve helped Alice pack Bella’s & the RED HEAD’s honeymoon bags- and I would’ve thrown in PLENTY of condoms with hand-drawn instructions from Carlisle. But, oh well, they killed me.”

    Okay that didn’t happen, but it wasn’t until Edward spoke to Bella that I realized it was him. I know we all have our own picture of Edward in our minds (Rob) plus my first kiss, first boyfriend and first (and only) husband were all red-heads, but Edward? Described as a RED HEAD? I felt that description was more fitting for a vampire named Fred…

So… do I buy the whole “I’ve been thinking about Bree’s story ever since I wrote Eclipse & wanted to share it with all my devoted fans” story? No (but most people will, don’t worry!) And I still maintain that you were pressured by your publishing company to put out something new. Not to mention your friends must be nagging you ever other day to finish something about their favorite characters- I don’t blame you wanting to get them ALL off your back. And for the devoted Twilight fan, That Bree Story is a quick, easy fun read that will make any true fan crack a big ol’ Cullen Smile once the Cullens appear! I’ll admit- I kinda wish you hadn’t killed off Bree too. It would’ve been intresting to see her adapt to the vegetarian lifestyle. Not to mention maybe she could have tracked down her friend “Fred” and we’d have an excuse to make a lot of “Fredward” jokes.

R.I.P. Bree,

Haven’t read the book yet but my enthralling review really makes you want to get to know “Fred?” You can read it online here!

After the jump, answer some questions to see where we all stand with Bree! Continue…

160 Commented

I’m gonna BING Summit and tell them to stop product placement

Yep! This is Letters to Twilight, you’re not going crazy. Look different? It better. It only took us a year and 3 months to make this happen (literally) More about that after today’s letter!

Dear Twilight,

I recently had a conversation with 2 friends of mine and we came up with some really good ideas that we thought we’d throw out to you in case something falls through with your contract with Fancy Feast Cat Food (“Cause Edward wouldn’t eat a skinny cat”) or Depends Undergarments (“Cause after 108 years, sometimes you need something to depend on) Can you tell I’m in advertising?

BING Twilight

Click- cause the top result is brilliant

EastFriend: Dude– did you see on Gossip Girl last night that Jenny “BINGed” cancer. I almost threw up. Freakin’ Vamp Diaries had a BING moment 2 weeks ago, too. The CW as a whole must be selling out.

Wonder if Summit & the CW are in bed together? Both suck limp peen.

UC: if someone BINGs something in Twilight…. like Bella Bings “how to bang a vampire” I will CUT A BITCH.  You GOOGLE THAT SHIT Bella! BING is for dads & grandpas. Tell Edward he doesn’t know what’s cool on the interwebs- he’s too old.

Too_Far_Gone: PS that should totally be a blog post in my mind – what people should NOT do in eclipse + product placement & how much summit sucks limp peen

UC: hold on… I’m gonna go BING what date exactly Eclipse Burger King hamburger wrappers come out and when exactly I can expect to see Edward’s face on my birth control pack

Too_Far_Gone: Yes- go BING all the merch that they are not putting out that they should be branding with Edward’s face. How about:

  • gold wrought-iron beds
  • pillows with extra feather stuffing
  • headboards designed to break down the middle at the slightest touch

EastFriend: I just want Twilight tampons. Blue ones, since Edward’s partial to that color. “Freesia-scented & guaranteed not to leak. ‘Cause our lives depend upon it.”

And don’t think some lame-ass teeny bopper hasn’t tried to invent bruise tattoos. You know…for authenticity’s sake. Ew.

UC: We should really get Bed Bath & Beyond to make a whole Twilight line. Of course there would be a purple line. And then gold brocade fabrics- drapes and a curtain to surround a four poster deep mahogany bed. Perhaps Gap could make a sleeveless button up shirt…And pair it with this season’s jorts on the mannequin next to a sign saying “Now you can have them both- Jacob on the bottom, Edward up top.”  We’re on to something here!

EastFriend: OMS–bed bath & beyond–The Twilight Linen Collection!! Brilliant! There would be, of course, the Isle Esme Collection & the Cottage Collection, which brides-to-be & cougars could purchase. And Too_Far_Gone’s idea of the gold shiz from Edward’s room…for the single ladies.

And then we must have the requisite wolfpack offering, complete with earth-toned sheets, denim duvets, & quilts with pine needles embroidered on them.

And then the Carlisle Collection–for those with higher standards & impeccable taste- 1000 thread count sheets, cashmere throws, silk pillows. (Just what the doctor ordered)

And I’m not sure how to package the Emmett & Rosalie collection- but I think Frederick’s of Hollywood could figure out how. ‘Member in Breaking Dawn when Edward tells Bella how difficult it was to be around those two when they were first together? I always took this to mean that Emmett & Rosalie were freaks on a leash. I’m talking vinyl sheets, baby oil, & a Cullen Crest-emblazoned Liberator, with optional wrist restraints & blindfold.

Now I can be embarrassed to PAY for the embarrassing crap I'm buying!

UC: Gosh.. it’s so expensive to keep my Twilight collection up to date with all the Burger King parifinalia, action figures from Toys R’ Us, books Stephenie keeps writing, Edward Cullen vibrators & Cullen Crested Liberators, plus gold brocade bedding & jorts & wolf tails and pencils and papers and notebooks & trapper keepers not to mention replicas of Bella’s 90s-era Seattle grunge-wear!!!! I’m going broke! Good thing I got one of these pre-paid bad boys for my birthday from Moon!

This sarcastic conversation brought to you by 3 sarcastic girls, kinda annoyed that our TV shows, book series & movies we love are being hijacked by promotions for water that’s not even that good, really bad fast food, PRE-PAID credit cards, children’s toys in Happy Meals and whatever they come up with next. And it also serves as proof that I came up with the idea, therefore I should get a commission, when BING cuts a deal with Summit. Cause you KNOW thats about to happen…

Gotta go take my Reneseme prenatal vitamins,

What would make an awesome aka awful Twilight promotional product?

After the jump, hear all about our NEW site & enter to win something to celebrate!!! Continue…

183 Commented

Why "The Hillywood" show is better than Twilight and New Moon combined

Dear Catherine Hardwicke & Chris Weitz,

We love you Chris only– you know that, but…. well, you got outdone. By some amateurs with one camera. And a budget much smaller than you had.

Seriously, did you see the acting? It’s better than in both your movies combined. Hilly (aka Bella) brought us TEARS- real, actual tears.

And did you SEE the character of Jacob? Were we actually applauding Taylor Lautner for gaining weight and putting on muscle? This guy (aka Kyle Dayton- who I have since google stalked for many hours) seems to have a naturally amazing body and quite possibly a hotter face than Taylor Lautner. OR maybe it’s just because he’s probably older than 17 that I think that. Either way- WIN ALL AROUND!

Remember how I mentioned how I like the Bella that is with Jacob? I said how I love Bella with Edward because obviously they’re meant to be, but I kinda wish Bella could be split in two and be with Jake too? Well, the Hillywood girls have BAD BELLA aka Bella with Jake DOWN!! The leather pants? The rockstar attitude? The dark make-up? It was hot. I have a major crush on Hilly Hindi

And did you notice FUTURE Bella & Edward? They weren’t Anne-of-Green Gables fail. They were hot, attractive, and the dress was gorgeous- just like they should have been in New Moon. I am now convinced Bella can be attractive as a vampire. Before… not so much.

The Sparkles!?!- They RULED IT. While Chris you did a MUCH better job than Catherine, it turns out it wasn’t THAT difficult… all the Hillywood people did was use SPARKLY make-up. Duh! Even I could’ve told you that! And Jasper’s wig? While it’s totally still atrocious it was much less so than in New Moon! I think you need to contact those girls about their wig hook-up before Breaking Dawn starts shooting.

There is so much that is SPOT ON! The Tweed! The Grandpa shoes! The Purple (purple’s cool) on the bed!  Hilly rocks the attitude Bella should’ve had! Edward LEFT her! Cut down that Edward/Bella tree girl!

Everyone knows I’ve never been impressed with the chemistry between Edward & Bella from the movie. It has nothing to do with Robsten- I thought that from my first viewing. But in THIS parody? The chemisty between THEIR Edward & Bella? Aka Jacob Jost & Hilly Hindi? I’m ‘shipping Josttly or Hillcob or Jacly now. HARDCORE.

If you’re still not convinced at how much we loved this parody, read Moon’s reaction after the jump! Continue…

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