From here to Breaking Dawn, the timeline

*Stay tuned for a VERY IMPORTANT note from UC and Moon at the end of this post*

Dear Breaking Dawn (uno and dos),

You are quite a ways off, especially in our ADD, RIGHT NOW, twitter update, I knew it before you did, always connected obsessed world. So what are we do do for the next 2 PLUS years?!!!?!! That’s a lot of time! Houses are built, babies are conceived AND born, people meet and break up. What will happen in the world of Twilight over the next two years?

I’ve come up with a timeline for what I think the next two years in the Twilight fandom will look like…

September 2010 – Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas elope to Las Vegas and make “Ashoe” official

October 2010– Sales on Loquat costumes on regrEtsy go through the roof

November 2010 – Breaking Dawn begins filming in Vancouver and Louisiana. Louisiana considers renaming their sta Twilousiana because of the jump in tourism courtesy of crazy Twihards. They reconsider after the crazy Twihards test their police and emergency services to their limits in an effort to keep the cast somewhat safe.

December 2010 – Moon and UC celebrate 2 years of blogging about Twilight and Robert Pattinson

-100 Monkeys, Sam Brady (typo and it stays!), Bobby Long, Marcus Foster, Kiowa Gordan and his band Touche, Tinsel Korey and Mike Welch on vocals and Sage come together in whatever town Breaking Dawn is filming in for a special Christmas benefit concert. Before the cops bust in and arrest them for noise complaints they all gather on stage and sing “We are the Rob.”

January 2011 – Moon and UC sue 100 Monkeys, Sam Bradley, Bobby Long, Marcus Foster, Kiowa Gordan and his band Touche, Tinsel Korey, Mike Welch and Sage for stealing their hit song “We are the Rob.”

MMMMmmmm doughnuts!!

– Robsten breaks up, on set, over an argument about a flannel shirt and a jelly doughnut
– Robsten reunites 3 days later over a French Cruller in craft services

Follow the cut for the rest of the timeline and to read our VERY IMPORTANT note
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What a difference a year makes – Taylor Lautner then and now!

One of these things is not like the other

Dear Taylor, (have I ever written JUST you?)

It seems like just yesterday that you were that little kid who played Jacob Black with the bad wig in Twilight. The same dude who looked like a nerd on the red carpet at the Twilight premiere with your popped collar and bad sonic-the-hedgehog hair. But boy, how times have changed. It doesn’t seem like a day goes by without some picture hitting the interwebs of you looking like a hot piece. Now I know we already border on the possibly inappropriate with you but we’re the same age as the chicks on your movie set, so no harm no foul, right? And well we’re moving to Georgia till February when all this is legal, anyway so don’t worry, Chris Hansen is alright with it. I asked.

The other day I was sending UC OLD pictures of you and we were laughing our faces off at dorky you were and then I started sending over some new ones and it struck me: MY what a difference a year makes… from popped collars to soaked suits in the pool, you’ve come a long way Taylor. And since I can’t get enough of charts and turning normal business tools into tools of “mass Twilight shenanigans,” I present you with the “Then and Now: Taylor Lautner, what a difference a year makes” time line…

Click to enlarge, it's HUGE (that's what she said)

Your life in a timeline… I especially enjoy the glimpse into the future circa 2049… I bet it’s like looking into a mirror for Big Daddy. So if you’re keeping track you can print this out to add to your Twilight business documents folder. You know the one next to that folder you keep your fanfic in at work. Yup, that one.

Take the cut for a little treat
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