Defending Twilight

TwilosophyDear Twilight,

I want you to know that I still love you, even though we really haven’t seen much of each other lately.
The other day at work, I was surfing the net like you do when there is nothing to do. I saw a random headline about what to do now that Harry Potter is over and so I clicked it. The post suggested many other series one could look into to fill the HP void, with a list of “Pros” and “Cons” for each suggestion. Of course you were in there, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you’re only included because of all the success (ie money) the movies have had, and not because the writer thinks you are a legitimate story worth anyone’s time. Here’s why:

This is the part where Edward put Bella in a choke hold because talked to Mike Newton

Under the “Con” for Twilight: “the films portray a physically, emotionally abusive relationship in an overwhelmingly positive light. Also, the story involves a hulking teenage werewolf romantically bonding with a baby. Gross.” [I’ve bolded the part that inspired this letter.]

First of all, lol at the Jake/Renesmee reference – we won’t even go there. Then I was like, “Hold on, What?” I re-read to make sure I saw it correctly. Then I sat there going, “Physical abuse? What’s he talking about? Bella having to beg Edward for another go? Or wait, is this about the headboard?” It’s been nearly 3 years since my single reading of the books, so I even emailed TeamSeth to make sure that I wasn’t forgetting something. “Not unless you count the baby” she said.

This is the part where Edward bites Bella because she talked back

Ok, so Twilight, here’s the thing. Some people don’t like you. Some people even hate you. This is not new; we all know this. I can’t speak for anyone else, but personally, I don’t care if someone doesn’t like you. They can call you stupid, lame, childish, ridiculous, whatever. They are entitled to their opinions, even if they’ve never met you. We can’t control what other people think of us. I’m not going to argue with them or try to change their minds. I don’t feel like I need to stand up for your story; you can take care of yourself. But Twilight, this really kind of pissed me off. I mean, I can overlook the emotional abuse claim, because I think one could make a case for it and have a real discussion/debate on that subject. I’m not saying that Edward & Bella’s relationship is perfect or that it should be held up on a pedestal – this is a work of fiction after all. But to say that the story essentially glorifies a physically abusive relationship is not only completely false, but borderline slanderous; and ignorant…which I pointed out in the comments, in the most sane, tweedy, normal way possible. (I guess I was inspired by Moon’s Facebook comment.) Last I checked, I had 7 thumbs-down and no thumbs-up. I mean, I really can’t understand why someone would even say that. You’d think that a seemingly semi-professional blogger would take the time to make sure he actually knows what he’s talking about before callously making a rather serious (IMO) accusation about a popular story. I’m not even touching on what that would mean (if the allegations were true) about all the people, women especially, who love the story. I’m just trying to point out that it’s a false claim.

Twilight, I can’t promise that I’m always going to be around. Eventually, we will drift apart. It happens. But I can promise you that I will remember our time together fondly and will reminisce with others who also love you. And apparently, I will also be there to defend you, but only when you really need it.

I got your back,

So what the hell WAS this guy talking about? Do you find yourself standing up for Twilight? Does Twilight really need us to defend it? Do people run away screaming when you do?

I still miss Moon, in case you were wondering:

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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Much needed Twilight funnies on a Monday

Dear Twilight,

It’s one of those Mondays that I’m dreading- last week was a 4 day work week & this week has 5 days I have to work- plus there’s a heatwave. And I’m just in the mood to complain. So when I sat down to pen something Twilosophical to you, I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to think hard & since all Twilight fans think alike, I doubt LTT readers want to either.

So I went to our email inbox, to see what treasure I’ve been storing for such a rainy/boring/horrible/hot/Monday such as this. This is what I found:

1) Antonella’s boyfriend (who she described as “Who is totally not a unicorn. At all. More like a buffalo.”) found us the holy grail of “2nd Hand Embarrassment”

Yes this is real

What’s even worse is that is that it’s in MOANtreal, which has French Canadians. And the French are supposed to be classier than the rest of us

The birds can enjoy the view

And of course that little white paper (INSIDE the car) says “I love Rob.” Of course it does.

2) The Old One took the time to take the Breaking Dawn calendar image & photoshop it to look exactly like the rest of us were thinking it should look:

After seeing the weird purple & orange lighting she couldn’t resist. She said it just screamed “we’ve just beamed down to the planet’s surface and encountered a strange half-man, half-lizard life form. He’s been eyeing Lieutenant Commander Swan and I don’t trust him.”

3) MarbleNutSlut wrote to tell us she’d love to see a “This Random Thing Reminds Me Of Twilight post.” She saw a whole rack of these at the Hartford airport and thought:

“ZOMG is KStew gunning for CoverGirl status?! That seems…uncharacteristic?”

And then her bleary cross-country traveling eyes adjusted, but still. This is the patented HairGrab pose. They teach it in modeling classes now, apparently.

I did a double-take too. That is a nice KSTEW knock-off!

4) And finally, Melissa thought of us when she came across these new JorJeggings: Yep. Jorts in Leggings material:

Think Leah will rock these in Breaking Dawn?

Oh Twilight, always popping up in our lives, even in the mundane!


Where has Twilight “popped-up” in your life recently?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

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My Twilight Friends

I’m feeling mushy. And since many of you have “known” me for 2 and 1/2 years now & we’re most likely on the same “cycle,” I bet you’re feeling mushy this week too. So bear with me, please:

Dear Twilight,

I’ve been thinking about you & all that we’ve been through. I’ve been thinking about our ups & our downs and all the in betweens. The good times, the bad. The funny and the not so funny. And without a doubt, no question about it, the best thing that has come from you is the relationships you’ve brought me. Of course that starts with my friendship with Moon & how dear she is to me, but it continues on to so many others. There’s @CalliopeBlabs who I haven’t seen yet in 2011 but was reminded to email after her gmail account got hacked & she sent out some spam:


I chose this picture to represent Calliope because when I googled "Calliopeblabs & UC" SO MANY amazing pictures & manips appeared. This one represents Calliope best. (She made it)

And it was @JenBrun‘s birthday yesterday & she tried to get Jimmy Fallon to wear a purple tie in her honor last night by tweeting him all day! (Maybe it happened. I’m writing this pre-show time!)

and of course (SPOILER ALERT) our very own Obird- Olivia made it to the FINALS on Biggest Loser! Have you SEEN this girl??? She looks amazing & mark my words: She’s going to WIN IT ALL. I just know it. It’s because she reads LTT. AND has Pocket Edward with her on the ranch. And also once met Rob. Oh and she works the hardest & stuff like that:

Anyway, I could go on and on and on, but I won’t because I’ll leave someone important out, but YOU people are why I like Twilight. At first it was Edward Cullen. Then it was Rob Pattinson. And now it’s people I met through Twitter then some in real life & some through chatting & some through emailing & some through comments. YOU ALL. {See. I’m mushy.}

So I thought I’d share this letter we got that also made me feel mushy. It’s about a real life LTT meet-up:

Dear LTT,

I’ve been a reader since that glorious day of SMeyer’s mention of you on her website. Thanks to LTT, I’ve spent many a boring morning at work getting back into the office chair after having fallen off from laughter. For reals. I read on my phone often, which makes me something of a lurker because commenting from my phone SUCKS. Every now and then though I pop in on a  regular old computer and both the posts and comments are usually hysterical. I will occasionally contribute, but usually I just read.

I’m from Seattle, WA (you may have heard of it?) originally and about a year ago, Hubby and I began discussing a move somewhere in the South. After much discussion, we narrowed our choice down to Nashville, TN. Having never been there (hubby has lived in town before meeting me) I was slightly apprehensive. What is the weather like? Where will I work? Do I have to join a church? Do they have coffee there? While reading comments on LTT, I came across some users that live in the Nashville area and decided to see if they would answer my questions. They did and as I began following @sassysmart, @and78 & @allryans on Twitter I started thinking that I could possibly have some friends if I were to make the move. Over the past ten months or so we’ve been talking about happenings and neighborhoods and parties and get togethers they were going to have without me. And then last month we got the call….Hubby got a job and we’re moving! This meant that I would finally get to meet my fellow LTTer’s IN REAL LIFE! @sassysmart and @and78 and I set up a meeting at a local restaurant and I seemed silly getting ready. I told Hubby that it felt like I was getting ready for a blind date. What if they don’t like me? What if I dress weird for Nashville? What if they spend the whole time talking to one another and I’m just sitting there? WHAT IF they are total
Twi-hard nerds that show up wearing a creepy Edward t-shirt and a wolfy bracelet and are NOT NORMAL?!?

I am happy to say that both are completely normal, and completely lovely. We sat for a few hours drinking dirty vodka martinis talking about books and LTT and Nashville life and it all put me at ease. @and78 even baked for me. (Best. Cookies. EVER.) I realized that I will have friends anywhere because of LTT. Maybe someday we’ll be the kind of women that have periodic regional meetups. Maybe some of you already do. I’m looking forward to meeting @allryans soon and hopefully other readers in the area. A big thanks to Moon & UC for creating a medium where I can make new friends. You girls are the best!

Love and Vampire Kisses,


After the jump please enjoy some of my favorite moments making new friends through LTT Continue…

147 Commented

Crazytimes Wednesdays

Crazy Fan

Almost as Crazy as this fan

Dear Twilight,

You know what we haven’t done in awhile? Shared stories, letters, songs & poems from crazy fans. You thought we stopped getting them, didn’t you? Ohhh no- we still get them. We still keep them. Our “Crazies” folder is STILL over-flowing. And today we have some REALLY good ones to share with you:

Crazy Tune:

Kicking us off is a song written for Breaking Dawn. I’d make up a tune & sing it for you all, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna save that for a bet with Moon that I know I’m going to win- like naming 20 “outfits” Rob Pattinson has worn in the past year & where each item was purchased- and let her sing it when she loses:

Imprinted Love
It’s something I didn’t plan
it’s something I didn’t plan
I told you it’s part of the werewolf gang
I thought you were the only one to see

You’re the one I wanted
not the one I loved
when I saw her I knew she’s the one
went to search for her when she was near
It’s something I feared

Imprinted love on the one I thought who would kill you
imprinted love on the one who held me near
no matter how many times we said goodbye
imprinted love on Renesmee the half mortal and immortal

I didn’t knew she was the one who kept me near
when you wanted me to disappear
The one who stole my heart like Edward stole yours
I’m sorry if you’re mad but like I told you before

Imprinted love is not something you can control
imprinted love is not something you can choose
or change it’s for the one that will take care of your heart
imprinted love on Renesmee the half mortal and immortal

I taught you were my love and my life
but I was wrong
He is your love, your imprinted one
just like Renesmee is my imprinted love

For now I’ll be her brother
the one who protects her, then her friend
whom she can trust and love
maybe one day she’ll learn to love me as I love her

Bella I’ll always be there for you
I’ll always love you just like a son loves his mom
I don’t want anything els than to be your friend
but my true love for Renesmee will always win
imprinted love

Then there’s:
The Girl on Team Edward with “a homeless friend”

Maybe this guy is the crazy fan

Just like all of the fans of the twilight cast My desire is to truly be able to contact them to let them know how we feel about our favorite actor or actress. And to thank Stephenie Meyer, for taking the time to write the novel that sparked life into all our lives. Both women and men. I happen to be Team Edward. My desire is to see him in person. I’ve been tempted to catch the plane, come out there and share the ground with my homeless friend just for the opportunity to see him, walk the runway or visit on the outside of a site where he is working. Hoping to catch sight of him. Sometimes the urge is so great I’ve called my friend to tell her im on my way. I don’t think I would enjoy sleeping outside in the elements But if I knew that I could see him , I would take the chance. I have little hope now that my friend have lost the car she was sleeping in. I was counting on furnishing the gas and she would at least drive me around. I watched when fans put up their tents and envied them, wishing I was there. My children
and grandchildren are embrassed when I talk about Edward and my desire to see him in person. To hear his voice, see his gorgeous hair. But I would be satisfied just to get a e-mail from him. I tried to get to Chicago, when he was there its closer to my home. But I got sick. He was on the Oprah show. I sent him a birthday card to the show . Hope he got it. hope he e-mail me back, I will be waiting.

The kids who never learned celebrities don’t care about you

Hi this is pat and I would like to invite taylor lautner to my sweet fifteen im only twelve so im only gonna need two more years and its going to be in puerto rico and I hope too see him in and come enjoy the party hope to see him.please come taylor.

And the one we totally can’t understand

Did she write this letter?

I am a way ovr obsesses fan (according 2 my friends) but I dont think u can evr b 2 obssesive i mean twilight is amazing and when ppl say they dont like ik theyre just lieing 2 get attention cuz its impossible not 2 luv my favorite book waz breaking dawn but it waz hard 2 coose cuz theyre all amazing i am constantly rereading them over and ovr and my parents r always like stop readin them and read somethin else but i just cant the background on my desktop and laptop r both twilight saga pics and quotes i cant imagine a world w/o twilight i wish it waz real it would b so kwl none of my friends r rly tht into them so i nvr have any1 2 tlk 2 nout them i have so much twilight merchandise and evrythin and read book related 2 twilight 2 like bedazzled, twilight and history, etc. theyre rly interesting and i would give them a try since ur a die-hard twilight fan i am members of a lot of fan fourm/blogs/websites and its great 2 knw tht there r others like me i lu the idea of ur website and think it is rly kwl
thanks so much 4 the websie,

And after the jump, PLEASE don’t miss the most Epic Crazy story of all time!! Continue…

105 Commented

Celebrities and Twilight

Dear Twilight,

I was saying to Moon that I want to have FUN with Twilight again. It feels like it’s been awhile. I was thinking about to what has made Twilight so FUN all along, and while there’s many reasons, one that kept popping into my mind was all the celebrities that kept admitting they were as into the saga as we are! Let’s recap who we’ve heard from over the years:

First up on the RANDOM list, Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz, who said: “I went to Chinatown, picked up a bootleg version of Twilight and watched it like, 72, times.” Summit Entertainment thanks you, Pete, for contributing to their bottom line.

Then we’ve got Jennifer Love Hewitt who fangirls harder than the teenagers that comment on the Twilight Facebook wall (For a laugh- here’s my favorite teenager Facebook comment from today)

“GO GO POWER RANGERS! 🙂 lol jokes, im a guy and im all 4 team edward =) F*CK U JACOB

Then there’s Kelly Clarkson: “I’m on ‘Breaking Dawn.’ It’s actually interrupting my sleeping pattern. Every girl is, like, obsessed. I went to Cancun, Mexico, for New Year’s with a bunch of friends and we were laughing because, as we were laying out, literally every female at the pool had one of the books from the series.”

This spoof is blowing my MIND!!!

Oh- let’s not forget that Malia Obama and her dad, ya know, The President read Twilight. I wonder if Mr. Obama pawned off the Isle Esme scenes to a female cabinet member. “Daddy- why is Edward naked in the water? Won’t he get sand on his butt?”

And ugh- Dakota Fanning got the role because she made it public that she was a Twilight fan. WIN! Oh- AND this happened with Bryce Dallas Howard too! (Though it did NOT work for Vanessa Hudgens & Lindsey Lohan! THANKFULLY)

Must we mention Taylor Swift? We all know what team she is/was on!

Emma Watson CLEARLY needs to be told about LTT because in 2009 she told Elle UK: “I love those books. This is so sad, but I literally felt depressed when I finished reading them because I thought, ‘Oh my God, what am I going to do now?'” COME TO LTT, EMMA!!!

Also pass that message along to Rosario Dawson who realized that Twilight is like a drug to us: “I just read the first book, it’s ridiculous, it’s like crack cocaine. I read it for 10 hours straight until I finished it.”

(Ps: Notice a trend that ANYONE who admits to loving the books discusses how addicting they are & how depressing it is when they are over. And those who just watch the movies might LOVE THEM, yet don’t have the same connection? READ THE BOOKS PEOPLE!)

Jimmy Fallon channels Edward Cullen every chance he can get with “Robert is Bothered” (Did it ever bother anyone that he dresses as Edward yet acts like Robert then realize that you shouldn’t actually let something that was never supposed to be taken seriously bother you? Phew. Glad I’m not alone there) and FANGIRLS over any other Twi cast member

Plus Hayley from Paramore got her MUSIC into the first film AND a sit down with Rob Pattinson because she’s such a big fan. Lucky!!! (Okay, our fangirlyness got us in the presence of THE CREATOR but still… We always want what we don’t have)

OHH wait! Our favorite Twilight-loving “celebrity”: OLIVIA on the Biggest Loser. You remember her- she’s an LTT-turned-real-life friend kicking butt on Season 11 of the Biggest Loser! Have you been watching her on Tuesday Nights? Our friend @lula34 gave us a quick update on her progress on the Biggest Loser: “She’s an award-winning chef (after last night’s BL episode, that is), she has charmed the Moms of America (after last wk’s ep)–not the Oprah-red carpet basement-Twi-moms, of course–& she looks good in purple, black, & blue. Oh, & she changes her nail polish to match her team color.” WE LOVE YOU OLIVIA!!! Win this thing!

I JUST HAD A LOT OF FUN REMINISCING!!!! Okay… well, not as much fun as if NEW celebs admitting that, while they were late to the party, they jumped on the Twilight train!

Let’s have fun together, again!

What celebrities can you remember mentioning Twilight? Who DO we want on our “Team?” Can we get an athlete mention? Maybe that dude who just got kicked out of BYU? He heard about it from some Mormon classmates? Who else!?

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