Once upon a time when I was a Twilight virgin…

Dear Twilight,

I cannot believe I’m about to partake in this “Twilight Week” Moon was so excited about (Read her letter from Monday if you have no idea what I’m talking about). Sure HER post was pretty 2nd-hand embarrassing, but it’s NOTHING like mine. Ugh.. the things I do for you…. Confess that I was once an innocent Twi-virgin…with great love for a sub-par movie…who referred to Rob as “Cedric” before saying his real name. Love me through this PLEASE:

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I just re-read the book again.  And I.CANNOT.WAIT for the movie.  I bought my ticket already and plan on being there super early to get seats. I will be attending with other vampire-fiends like myself.

I would like a vampire-lover. It could be Bill or Edward, however, I’d prefer Edward. Although a shape-shifter like Sam would be fine too. I take that back. I do not like dogs. However… I do wish I was Bella….. lucky duck

[Ahem: Yes, I linked to a bunch of pictures of other vampires & shape shifters. And a duck]

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My Perfect Bella

No one will care about this post except for [insert Moon’s real name], but that’s just how much I love you, [Moon]!

I saw Twilight twice so far 🙂 (emphasis on the “so far” because I WILL see it again) I had quite realistic expectations for the movie- I love the book(s) SO MUCH that it wasn’t possible for the movie to be as good.  I wasn’t sure if I liked Cedric Diggory (aka Robert Pattison) as Edward, but I did think Kristen Stewart looked perfect for Bella.  First glance it looks like the Cullen family’s casting was spot-on!

I saw the movie at the sold out 7:15 show Friday night with some wonderful friends and 1,000 screaming tweens and teens.  I almost kicked a 9 year old’s ass b/c her shirt said “Team Jacob,” but then she explained that “it was the only shirt Hot Topic had left.” (She was only really 9) I screamed at the Harry Potter preview along with the rest of the crowd. (And held my eyes and ears shut for the Unborn preview- what the H!?)

The movie COMPLETELY met my expectations.  It stayed so close to the book and the things they changed were mostly positive (aka, bringing in the bad vamps early on- liked that). It went SO fast.  Scenes that took 1 month and 250 pages in the book happened in 5 minutes- I definitely could have used more Edward/Bella love time (and I LOVED the kissing scene). I was disappointed that the only time he kisses her neck or spends much time in that region was at the Prom scene- the imagery in the book of his obsession with smelling her blood from there is SO AMAZING and they really glossed over it in the movie. Overall- I loved it.  I also could have used less laughing from awkward teens and swooning every time Edward came on screen (Okay.. I swooned too) LOVED the music!

So, I’m this lucky duck who has a husband who knows how his wife obsesses over things.  So, he “invited” me to join him to see Twilight again last night.  I was excited- it was a sleepy, cold, rainy Monday night and I figured all the tweens were in bed.  THEY WERE.  The theater held only 6 guests plus us! This time, I was the only one who cheered for Harry Potter or swooned when Edward appeared!

"Brilliant Scene" according to Mr. Choice

I warned [Mr. Choice] that as a piece of art, the film would probably disappoint.  It’s so hard for me to guess what “outsiders” would think since I’m such an insider.  I’ve told him a lot about the story (again, I obsess) and I was convinced he would hate Bella and Edward.  He was hard to read throughout the movie (I felt like Edward trying to read Bella), except when Muse came on.  Then he sang along.

I absolutely loved my 2nd experience.  It was SO different seeing it with “adults.” While I think I came away from my first time thinking it was a movie made for teens, I didn’t think that the second time.  There were things I noticed that I didn’t the first time around- and I felt that the connection between Edward and Bella was much stronger.  I was really sensitive about what [Mr. Choice] thought since I loved it so much and he’s such a film buff.  His thoughts COMPLETELY shocked me!

I’m forcing him to blog what he told me last night about the movie. FORCING him.  He LOVED it. He’s familiar with Catherine Hardwicke, the director, and thought it was her best film. He loved the cinematography, the actors, the chemistry between Bella and Edward.  And he thought the baseball scene was brilliant (it was- I tried the “Alice leg” last night- and failed miserably) He started played Muse the minute we got home! He said that this movie will get overlooked because of the demographic- but it shouldn’t.  He said no one would take it seriously, but it should be.  He thought it was as perfectly done as it could have been.  Even some of the things about the screenplay that I didn’t like, he thought were perfect.  He said he was just WAITING for it get cheesy- and it never did.  He even liked Stephanie Meyer’s cheesiest line “So the Lion fell in love with the Lamb…” So yes, my art-loving, film-buff (UFC fighting) husband liked Twilight.  I am so glad!

I’m re-reading the books (of course) and just finished Eclipse.  I forgot. O.M.G. It was so good! I can’t wait to finish Breaking Dawn! I’ll give you this, Team Jacob: While I hate every minute of what you LOVE in Eclipse, I do think their relationship is endearing. I love the scene in the tent when Jacob keeps Bella warm- but mostly because Edward says to him”But, if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that” HA! Suck on that Team Jacob.

Moon’s Comment (she was 2 out of the 3 comments. SAD!):

themoonisdown said…HAHAHA suck on that team jacob!! finished eclipse last night and LOVED it… might be the best so far… i was about to crawl out of my skin waiting for the ‘tent scene’ you were talking about. it did NOT disappoint!  aaaannndd just got back from my 2nd viewing of twilight and i have to TOTALLY agree everything was better i loved it! i was over projecting what i wanted it to be and just enjoyed it for what it was. i gotta hit the 2nd review on my blog. oh man wish we could go see it a 3rd time together. daang when can we seen new moon??? 😀

[I LOVE that we reviewed & commented as if others outside of US were going to be reading these reviews.]

With tons of embarrassing love,

WHY did I say “Lucky Duck” so much!? And I CANNOT WAIT to remind Mr. Choice how he actually LIKED Twilight in the beginning- HAHA! And I don’t remember a time when I referred to Catherine as anything other than “Cathy Hardi- frequenter of TGIFriday’s Happy Hours!” UGH… can you still “respect” me as a NORMAL Twilight fan? Or did I just get thrown in as “delusional crazy” in your book? TELL ME I’M NOT ALONE in how I was as a virgin!!!

We’re running a Contest!!

Contest Rules: Comment/email us a link or copy of your first time. A chat convo with a friend, a review on a blog, a funny comment at a Twi site. UC and I will pick our faves and someone will win a tshirt from the LTT/LTR store to be announced this weekend.

Oh & stay tuned for a special THURSDAY letter tomorrow!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

118 Commented

Newborn Twihard

Moon is still gone & I’m busy trying to figure out if Taylor Swift is singing to Taylor Lautner or Big Daddy in her new song “Back to December”

Dear LTT,

They’re on to me, what do I do?

It all started innocently enough…I just wanted to win tickets to the LA premiere, so I played the Vitamin Water unlock a pixel game on facebook.  I was apprehensive about Vitamin Water posting a message that stated I had taken a pixel of the wallpaper—so much so that the first time the application asked me if it could have access to my profile, I clicked cancel.  Then the fever set in (you know the one).  I threw caution to the wind, and I clicked yes.

Yes Vitamin Water, you can broadcast my deepest, darkest secret all over my friends’ facebook pages.  Besides, who is going to really see it between all the Farmville stuff anyway?

It was ok at first, my BFF (who is open about her Twi-ality) simply stated, “Oh my.”  I’m sure it came as a great surprise to her, but she left it alone.  Hours went by…no one else had said anything.  “I’m in the clear,” I thought to myself.  Then came the message from a guy friend, “Newborn Twi-hard, get a life.”  The one response I had feared throughout my entire closeted Twilight-loving existence.

Who you calling sick!?

For weeks, I have successfully hidden my new obsession from everyone, including my husband.  My BFF didn’t even know.  Like most who are open about their Twi-ality, she encouraged me to read the books, begged me to go see the movies with her, tried to convince me I wouldn’t go to prison for lusting after Taylor Lautner—all to no avail.  You see, I never read Tiger Beat, I don’t subscribe to Cosmo, I’ve never read Elle…I’ve never been a consumer of popular culture.  I openly mocked her and others like her, “You do realize that wanting to dry hump Shark Boy is a little sick?”  I asked her.  “They sparkle, BFF.  They effin’ sparkle.”  “Shall we stop at Hot Topic on our way to Macy’s?”

And then, ironically, on May 13th my daughter put ‘Twilight’ in the DVD player while I was studying for my Individual and Family Relations final on the couch.  I tried to ignore what I was seeing in my peripheral vision: a deer running through the woods while some annoying chick talked about death, said annoying chick riding in a police car with a guy and his mustache, annoying chick gasping audibly and twitching while trying to find her classroom.  “This is cinematic genius” I thought to myself sarcastically.

Yeah.... I know.... Drool

And then I looked up and I saw him.  Edward.  Edward, sitting behind his lab table with a strategically placed owl behind him…retching.  “Oh Em Gee you guys” I said doing my best 12 year old girl impression.  “It’s like he’s an Aaaangel.”  They (my two daughters and their friend) laughed.  But I meant it.  “Why is he retching girls?  Girls?  GIRLS?!  What’s going on?”  “He wants to kill her mom” one of them said.  “Why?” aside from the obvious; I’d want to kill the gaspy, twitchy chick too.  “Ugh, mom, you’d have to read the book to understand!”  “I’m not reading that tripe,” I said defiantly.

And then I didn’t care so much about Ecological theory and how external influences affect the family system.  I wanted to know why Edward would save her when he clearly didn’t like her, why he clearly liked her when she was clearly annoying, why he was clearly bipolar in all his interactions with her…wait why is this chick hittin’ on my man?  Clearly!

After I had sufficiently mocked the movie, and my daughters for watching it, I sent them to bed.  After making sure they were asleep, frantically, I placed ‘New Moon’ in the DVD player.  “What are you doing?” my husband asked, bewildered, on his way to bed.  “Uh, um…research?  I’m uh just making sure this movie is appropriate for the girls.”  And when that was over, I googled ‘Twilight’ and came across Stephenie Meyer’s site.  I read ‘Midnight Sun.’   It wasn’t enough.  I googled ‘Robert Pattinson.’  For an hour I sat with my laptop absorbing everything I could.  3am—I had to go to bed.

That Friday, I read ‘Twilight.’  That Saturday, I read ‘New Moon.’  That Saturday night, I started ‘Eclipse.’  That Sunday, I finished ‘Eclipse’ and ‘Breaking Dawn.’  Monday, I rewatched ‘Twilight’ and ‘New Moon.’  And I googled.  I googled like a crack whore trying to get her fix.  And I felt dirty.  Then the fan sites!  The fan sites became my methadone, youtube was the crack.

That's Normal

Let's say it together: That's Normal

And then I found you, LTT.  I feel like I can be myself with you.  Sure, you’re an enabler, but you don’t judge me.  You don’t tell me to get a life—you know I have one.  But what about the people who don’t understand my new, alternative lifestyle?  What about the people who won’t understand that I desperately want my husband and I to dress as Bella and Edward this Halloween?  Can we dress as Bella and Edward this Halloween?   Is it possible to dress as Bella and Edward this Halloween and convince people that we are actually trying to be the living embodiment of some sort of social commentary I am sure to come up with by October, 31st so as not to blow my cover?

Or should I come out of the closet?  Should I just be honest with myself and all of my loved ones about my Twi-ality?  What will my husband think?!

I’d like to close with my reply to my guy friend on facebook:

“You shut your dirty mouth. I am a desperate housewife living vicariously through a 17 year old girl. You see Guy Friend, ‘Twilight’ is not about the forbidden love between a human and a vampire. It’s about the brooding, pent-up sexuality that is Robert Pattinson. It is not my usual fare, sure. But if it were, I’d be living vicariously through Anna Karenina, and quite frankly I don’t want to throw myself on the railroad tracks. So you know what? Start looking like Robert Pattinson, and I’ll get a life!”

Was I convincing?

Newborn Twi-hard

Convincing!? I think so!!!! Welcome to the crazy, Newborn Twi-hard! We’re glad to have you!!!!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

123 Commented

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